I'm always the guy that does the work...

Never trust a users input!

I'd like to extend my heartfelt fuck-you to the following persons:

- The recruiter who told me that at my age I wouldn't find a job anymore: FUCK YOU, I'll send you my 55 birthday's cake candles, you can put all of them in your ass, with light on.

- The Project Manager that after 5 rounds of interviews and technical tests told me I didn't have enough experience for his project: be fucked in an Agile way by all member of your team, standing up, every morning for 15 minutes, and every 2 weeks by all stakeholders.

- The unemployment officer who advised me to take low level jobs, cut my expenses and salary expectations: you can cut your cock and suck it, so you'll stop telling bullshit to people

- The moron that gave me a monster technical assignment on Big Data, which I delivered, and didn't gave me any feedback: shove all your BIG DATA in your ass and open it to external integrations

- the architect who told me I should open my horizons, because I didn't like React: put a reactive mix in your ass and close it, so your shit will explode in your mouth

- the countless recruiter who used my cv to increase their db, offering fake jobs: print all your db on paper and stuff your ass with that, you'll see how big you will be

To all of them, really really fuck you.

Okay, time to delete my old Skype account
1. Enter Skype name
2. Reset password
3. Captcha
4. Complete email
5. Enter email code
6. You are logged in now, please complete your profile first
7. Enter birth date
8. Add your phone number or second email address
9. Create new outlook mail
10. Got access to profile settings
11. Click on delete profile
12. Stop please first verify your email again
13. Enter code
14. Check all checkboxes that I am really sure to want it deleted
15. Click delete button

Fuck hell and that all again for my second account

In which category you fall.

Today I have my final exam in Computer Science *.*

Wish me luck🙏

Product: Requires Windows 7 oder better.

So i Installed Linux.

I'm not really one for news, but apparently (a while ago) there was some 12 year old who taught himself to code and made his own apps and whatnot. Girlfriend informed me of this.

Just got told that I'm a useless piece of shit because Im 23 and don't develop apps and I'm not rich like this kid. Fuck man. I develop mostly server side software, and I personally fucking wrote half the shit the company uses. No one really knows, so naturally in the silent developer. Don't much care about that. But fuck, being told I'm useless because a 12 year old has more money than me really made me take one straight to the balls. Now I'm sitting here, moping, downloading android studio, and just going to prove a person wrong. I can fucking code an app, it's not that hard.

Should have just said fuck off, but I don't have the strength and effort to face flying cups anymore.

Android sdk, here I come.

Stupid tech guy: "You should use Windows, it's bettter"
Me: "No i quit Windows and use Linux"

At the end of the day he updates Windows and got a BSOD...

I laughed and walked off

Installed Ubuntu Linux on my cousin's PC... Age 12... He starts earlier than me... :/
But I'm proud of him :)

At my fucking wits end, but coding will help me prevail.

Got kicked out my apartment because I couldn't make the payment. Fucking job I have is fucking useless (dev and administrator) in terms of pay. They basically have me by the balls. Can't leave because I need the money, need to leave because I need more money.

Fuck it. Tired of eating noodles and ramen. Tired of being fucked around like this. Paying for my own studies has fucked me harder than a bottle of tequila and a casino trip.

But I shall code, and I shall code until I prevail.

To the place I work for, fuck you (not being unfair, I earn less than the receptionist and I have a degree, a plethora of certs, and a few years exp). My time will come, and when it does, I'll come out on top.

Until then, I rant and code.

Stop fucking using #tags outside of Twitter! It's stupid and pointless! And, if I hear another person end a sentence with a hashtag IRL, I'm going on a fucking rampage. 😠

Fucking cloud providers always trying to steal your shit and spy on your things, fucking prying eyes. That's why i've decided to go back hosting my own private cloud from home. Running on some very energy efficient shit: dual core intel atom cpu (so slow that it can't fucking run windows normally), 16gb of ram, because why the fuck not? and 1tb 2.5"hdd, along with unlimited data - 100/100 Mbit/s internet connection with a server response time less than 95ms just to backup my shitty Iphone selfies and cat pics, host some very important files and regularly back up my contacts. This shit runs CentOS, Nginx, https, bitch! This platform is more trustworthy than your shitty dropbox or whatever other shit they offer you. I can choose whether i back-up my shit from local network or over internetz, Costing me no more than 25€ annually(just to keep the machine on 24/7/365).

Boss sent me this after apologising for being perfectionist.

Boss mistakenly sends email to me instead of the client. Blames me for it. 😵

Tl;Dr: Client-side validated online test

Some stupid questions in an online test.
Not all of them were coding questions, but all (yes ALL) were client-side validated and to solve the tasks all I had to do was to copy one array into another and set the time I needed for that task to a legit number.

Well at least it was an online test that doesn't required 3hours.

Today I got pulled into a meeting with my 'boss'. Apparently the UX/CX person went and bitched to his bosses about the developers not following the UX/CX designs.

We missed two things. The font size for a 3 letter word was slightly off, and we missed a period at the end of some text.

I wish I was joking.

$ crontab -r monthly.irl

The following extra packages will be installed:
pregnancy lib-life lib-fuckyou

Do you wanna continue? [y/n]

Fucking teachers, man.
I had to present a project today.
Teacher randomly asks me
"Where did you copy this from?"
At this point I'm pretty fucking pissed, but am thinking that he might just be kidding around or fucking with me. Nope. Serious question. Well, fuck, now I have to start defending my own fucking work, because this fucking asshole assumes that I copied my project from somewhere.
He fucking questions me like I'm a murder suspect for half an hour. After that he gave me a passing grade.
I have no problem with the grade. My project wasn't entirely finished, I knew that I would only get a shitty grade on it.
I have a problem with this line of questioning. That fucker thinks that accusing people of plagiarism okay. I don't think there are appropriate words to describe such a rotten person.
The funny thing is, that colleagues who did in fact copy all their fucking work, were not questioned in such a way.
So basically if you think for yourself, work your ass off, you are a fucking cheating asshole.
Dear teacher,
I can say, from the bottom of my heart, go fuck yourself.

"Linux is shit because nothing works on my new DOM 2017/2018 laptop!"

Yes it's true that nothing will work if you put your finking ubuntu 14.04 installation with a fucking old 3.13 kernel in your new Laptop!

Update. Your. Fucking. System.

Do you know this?
You are the small guy, you are dancing the whole evening with a girl and then a big asshole comes around, h
Judges you and want to be better that you?
Than je comes and insult you?

Damn that's the moment, when self defense save your life. :)
He tried to punch me, but then underrated my skills 😌

Ohhh man I love karma😌🤗

ALMOST HALF AN HOUR SPENT TRYING TO LOG INTO MY FUCKING RASPBERRY PI OVER SSH.

you know what the problem is?

I’m not gonna tell you because I want you to feel the agony too.

> be me
> want to set up a nextcloud instance on pi to play with
> boot up
> ssh pi
*enter password*
*password incorrect*
^tries like 60 more times with different things
> pulls HDMI out of PC
> connect to pi direct
*please login*
*enter password*
Hackerman_voice_im_in.mp3
Wtf.xml
> check the logs
>try login from phone
Fuckyou.jpg
>Tries resetting password
Fuckyou-final.jpg
>tried logging into other pi
Fuckyou-final2.jpg
>*wtf’s harder*
Andthenithitme.png
>type @ sign
Pi: “
> OHHHHHHH

This rant has been boiling for a long time now so please bear with me. Here it goes.

A slight introduction of the lady working in my office. She's a soft spoken person who works for like 2 hours a day at max (rest of her time goes on surfing facebook etc).

NOW WHAT FUCKING GRINDS MY GEARS IS THAT SHE FUCKING THINKS SHE KNOWS HOW TO "CODE" ONLY BY KNOWING HTML!! FML

She claims of being a Social Media Expert, Digital Guru. But, SHE DOESN'T EVEN KNOW HOW TO FUCKING USE GOOGLE TAG MANAGER!!

MY WHOLE FUCKING DAY GETS RUINED BY EVEN INTERACTING WITH HER!!!!!!

Conclusion for this week:
Arrrgggh I worked so fucking long...

Thanks EU, FUCK ARTICLE 13,
FUCK EU, FUCK POLITICIANS, FUCK ALL!

PYTHON WHY THE FUCK, WHAT THE FUCK, HOW AND WHY?!??
FUCKFUCKFUCK

Have I missed something?

Bind's unpopular opinions, chapter #fuckyou:

Linux for server, windows for desktop.

Tune in for the next episode where we fight off angery linux fanboys

I like my new name... I fking need this command

there's a special place for people who write empty catch blocks INTENTIONALLY ..

try{

... do something that may produce NPE;

} catch {Exception fuckYou){

// go die in a fire

}

SO: Overflowing with Fucking IDIOTIC Moderators

I have set up a raspberry pi and screwed it with some switches and buttons to the wall next to my bed, so I don't have pick the remote which lays on my shelf...
The pi handles the buttons and switches and sends infrared signals to TV, stereo and receiver ^^

Sometimes git reflog saves your day.

The ability to automate my day, create my own apps and modify open source ones to fit with my conditions :)

CLEARLY! ...

I'm drunk.

//motherfucking populate the mailings table yo
Route::get('fuckman', function () {
$statuses = array('queued', 'sent', 'failure');
$statusKey = rand(0,2);
$mailings=App\Models\Mailing::all();

foreach($mailings as $mailing){
$mailing->status=$statuses[$statusKey];
$mailing->save();
}

return 'fuckyou';

});

It was less a feature, but more a bug wrapped as a feature

Ouuu today I experienced how web-devs must feel...

Task: create a form to answer questions with yes/no and a database behind it to collect stats.

So login to phpmyadmin
1. Wrong password got error message
2. No error message, still at login screen, but in address I see a token
3. There must be something wrong
4. Reinstalled phpmyadmin and mysql-server several times, wasted one hour on it - still stuck at login screen
5. Tried different browser and it fucking works!
6. Realized that cleaning cache fixed it...

Yeah 3 weeks vacation now😊
Wish you all a great time^^

When you lose connection to the internet.

I swear I will KILL the next one who comes to me to pimp up his excel sheet WITH FUCKING VBA -.-

This shit is so annoying.... Just because I started my apprenticeship and need to learn everything like a 3 year old kid...
Get me outta here!

Finished work early, shutting down the PC, Clicked Ctrl+S instead. Fucking Muscle Memory still want me to work?

Fuck this fucking shit...

Be me, plan a trip to a festival with friends, vacation approved, get up at 3am to drive 9 hours from Germany to Italy, find a nice spot for our tent and yeah...

I was unloading stuff of my car and standing in range of the tailgate and get the shit smashed onto my head...

Yeah I'm a volunteer firefighter, so good at paramedics, so I applied a pressure bandage myself, because shit was bleeding all out of my head...

Then I got a ride with the ambulance to the hospital and now about a hour in the waiting room...

Please cross your fingers, that the X-ray that I'm waiting for shows no damages and that i can continue my festival...

What a happy first festival day...

Be the repair man for every electronic shit

Finally did it!
Replaced my desktop pc (which I use for gaming) which had Windows 7 with Arch Linux! It was not hard because I already use it on my laptop.

OK it was a bit struggle with nvidia and cinnamon due to missing libraries I had to install which I don't know before.

But it is possible to play games on Arch?
Yes definitely!
CS:GO - works (native, steam)
League of Legends - works (wine)
World of Tanks - works (wine)

All I need is working (:

I always code when I have no motivation to do other things. I think it will change when I start working :/

Never change a running system!

Can someone suggest me a good, cheap phone with good battery?

I think at least 4000mAh and around 200€
My Touchscreen broke and I don't have enough money for a good flagship...

Service Controllers book us into the power stations and mines.

Was going to check a new client's current system and develop them a new one.

Service controllers booked the PM but not me.

Oh well, now there's a dev sitting outside a power station like an arsehole coding on his android because he has literally an hour or two to waste.

They do it out of spite, not out of mishap.

Normal Ppl: What could be Worst Than a Breakup? :(

Me: Having your Openstack Installation getting Fucked Up at its last leg.