It's the FUCKING....
WEEEEEKKKKEEEEENNNNDDDD!!!!!!!!

I don't know about you lot, but it's felt like a long time coming since Monday morning.

Several concurrent projects pulling you in different directions take its toll.

Oh and to answer your question.
Yes, I am mentally unstable right now 🤪

My wife: “Commit, then come to bed.”

Worst part of being a dev?
Unanswered stackoverflow question that exactly matches your problem

What do you call a party with developers?

A git together

I'm so sorry.

"Whenever I see a door that says push I pull first to prevent conflicts"

My girlfriend doesn't talk to me anymore after I said I helped the new girl to do some penetration testing.

Yesterday, my employer promoted me to lead web developer.

I’m still the only web developer.

A group of wolves is called a pack.

A group of crows is called a murder.

A group of developers is called a merge conflict.

"So, why do you want to work at our office in mexico?"
"I want to be a señor developer."

Have you ever wondered we programmers have so many strong communities.... Stackoverflow, devRant, Reditt, etc...
No other profession has such communities... Why? Why?
Because, we haven't built one for them.... 😂😁

Developer: We have a problem.
Manager: Remember, there are no such things as problems, only opportunities.
Developer: Well then, we have a DDoS opportunity.

My girlfriend dumped me after I named a class after her. She felt I treated her like an object.

A young guy I work with burst into tears today, I had no idea what happened so I tried to comfort him and ask what was up.

It appears his main client had gone nuts with him because they wanted him to make an internet toolbar (think Ask.com) and he politely informed them toolbars doesn't really exist anymore and it wouldn't work on things like modern browsers or mobile devices.

Being given a polite but honest opinion was obviously something the client wasn't used to and knowing the guy was a young and fairly inexperienced, they started throwing very personal insults and asking him exactly what he knows about things (a lot more than them).

So being the big, bold, handsome senior developer I am, I immediately phoned the client back and told them to either come speak to me face-to-face and apologise to him in person or we'd terminate there contract with immediate effect. They're coming down tomorrow...

So part my rant, part a rant on behalf of a young developer who did nothing wrong and was treated like shit, I think we've all been there.

We'll see how this goes! Who the hell wants a toolbar anyway?!

When a Senior developer comes to help 😂

Sex is cool and all but have you ever fixed a bug one minute before your presentation?

I got two motivations to improve myself
1. To earn more
2. To distance myself from stupid people who don't know what they are doing

PEOPLE.

Fuck people... 😒

Porn.

"Today was a productive day" lied the developer.

"and what do you do for a living?"
"I study software engineering and work as a software engineer part time"
"Really? You don't look like it!"
"Excuse me? What do I have to look like?"

The stereotypes are strong in development...

When a client asks "How difficult would it be.." or "Is it easy enough to..."

🖕

bad code that works 👍

source: reddit.com/r/ProgrammerHumor/

How was yours?

Just leaving this here

So after learning to code myself for about 9 months.

A local agency CEO reached out and offered me a junior position!

Happy days!

Finally the day when boss changes my position to senior developer. One of the biggest promotions I have ever had.

I love getting automated congratulatory messages on LinkedIn!

Said no one ever.

When the PM starts asking for estimations

When you write 100+ lines of code and it compiles the first time

Don't forget the WHERE in the DELETE FROM.