Read this gem in a Pi guide: "And now we install Github: sudo apt-get install git-core"

I think server down time is because of rain 🌧

Dear designers/project managers,

I am a developer. That means you don't have to explain simple programming concepts to me that you half know and think you fully understand as if I have never seen code before.

Save your breath and stop being so condescending. You don't know half as much as you think.

Thanks, from one annoyed dev.

When you copy some code and select the code you want to get replaced and accidentally press Ctrl+c again so you have to copy the thing you wanted to copy again 😡

I made a Trello board and listed some tasks for me and my team.

My boss comes in, I show him the trello board to show how I organized our tasks.

He liked it, so I asked him if we can use it more frequently.

He replied: this is your code, do whatever you want.

I asked: my code?

He replied: yah didn't just build this webpage? This interactive task manager.

Me in shock: hold on you think I built trello?

Boss: oh ... You didn't ? It looks like something you'd do for your "front end masterbaution".

Me: oh wow, well... If that was the case I would've made $425 million on top of my salary.

Boss: looked at me like meh ~ and walked away...

Cause day and night
The lonely coder seems to free his mind at night
He's all alone through the day and night
The lonely coder seems to free his mind at night (at, at, at night)

I think I am officially a hacker.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
I just installed Linux. 💪😇

*Me and my GF who works for CIA*

Me: Send nudes
GF: Whose do you want ?

!rant

The first 80% of software development is the easy part. The hard part is the next 80%.

Worked 8 hours on a feature to send attachments from our system (A) to another (B) via B's API. Perfect code, yet I couldn't make it work. B's API has full and extensive documentation for said feature. Contacted B to ask about it, got reply: "Oh yeah - we havent enabled that yet but thought it was handy to have it ready in the docs"

FML

When the API is not documented.

Since I moved from pure dev to Code Forensics, and studying with Forensic Computing students (who do one module on security), the amount of Kali Linux wallpapers on a Windows machine is overwhelming.

It's like the entire class watched three episodes of Mr Robot and now thinks they can change the world with a goddamn semester of teaching!

Testing CSS with caching turned on be like...

They say a man's best friend is his dog.
But a developer's best friend is his log!

echo "we don't do that 🤔"

If I had these I would forget what color is the sun 😂

Not the meaning I expected from Urban D

Any devs from CIA's Frankfurt department here? I can't remember if I shut my TV off before I left home, can you check?
KTHXBYE

Girlfriend: How was your day?

Me: Oh, Grand broke stuff fixed it,
broke more stuff, fixed that. then almost nearly got something kinda doing what i want.

My girlfriend lost her hair band at my house. Today I found it and finally solved the problem of tangled cables!

Not again...

Never trust a hot chick that tell you "Wow you are a programmer? Tell me about it"
ATTENTION: DON'T TELL HER ABOUT IT

So that's how my girlfriend wished me a happy birthday.. she's a chemist

<?php
$happy="Happy";
$bday="Birthday";
$to="To";
$you="You";
$dear="Dear";
$boyfriend="Joseph";

for($i=0;$i<4;$i++){
if($i!=2)
echo $happy." ".$bday." ".$to." ".$you."<br>";
else
echo $happy." ".$bday." ".$dear." ".$boyfriend."<br>";
}

?>

I really hate it when we have to wear formal dress to office. I feel like a marketing executive. My code stares at me with suspicious looks.

This made my day (and is the 3rd freaking time I try to get this shared here. Definitely need more coffee)

I did it boys, shes mine. 😃
Happy Valentines

Once I forgot to break a loop that was supposed to send 100 email to a colleague in the middle of the night.

She did not get 100 emails, she got alot more

Valentine Programming :(

Me: Let's grab something for dinner!
GF: Sure, but let's go somewhere safe
Me: