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Boss decided to limit Wi-Fi access only to company computers.
Ended up blocking everyone, including himself.10 -
The computers at my local vet clinic are suspended with eyebolts and leashes so they don't get pee'd on.
9 -
What do computers and air conditioners have in common ---- They both become useless when you open windows
3 -
I need to hide myself, my computer, programming skills and computer knowledge from people. Then only, I will be safe..
Friend: Heeey, you're good with computers right?
Me: No! 😑
Friend: Come-on bro. I know you are.
Me: What do you want?
Friend: I want you to check and book flights for me for country X.
Me: Are you ok? How does this have anything to do with someone being good with computers and stuff?
Friend: Haha, see? You're good with computers. *starts laughing. Anyway, since you're good, you can find the best prices. I know you know how to search sites and how to find things online.
Me: WTF?!?!!! All, you have to do is type in your search. If you don't like the results, you simply refine it.
Friend: See, all this tech stuff I'm not really good at it.
Me: But you're good at searching for other things online, right? Do the same for your flights.
*Picks my laptop and walks away.
How can a young man not be able to search for flights online but knows how to use several gadgets. Nonsense.9 -
Does anyone else experience the excess knowledge crisis? Wherein you realise that there is so much knowledge out there that you don't know where to start, and the moment you start, you realise there is something new to learn and you instantly get distracted.8
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<person>: What do you do?
<me>: I'm a developer.
<person>: What?
<me>: A computer programmer.
<person>: **blank stare**
<me>: I work with computers.
<person>: Ohhh. You work with computers! There is something wrong with mine, will you look at it for me?
<me>: I don't do hardware.
<person>: **blank stare**
<me>: I don't fix computers.
<person>: What?
<me>: **walks away**8 -
Q: What do computers and air conditioners have in common??
A: They both become useless when you open windows.2 -
I told someone I programmed in JavaScript and they responded with "Oh, you fix computers?"
FACEPALM7 -
Client: So you work with computers?
Me: I create software for computers, yes.
Client: Fix my printer.
Me: I SAY SOFTWARE FOR COMPUTERS YOU BUFFOON!2 -
Friend: you're good with computers right?
Me: sure..
Friend: great so i signed up for this site that likes posts and i think they hacked my account
Me: ok... and?
Friend: well since you're good with computers do you think you could hack my account back?
Me: goodbye
People suck4 -
"I still don't understand how you're paid to play with computers all day" - My Mum
If only my mum understood the extent to which people playing with computers influence the world...4 -
Friend brings over a Windows 8 all in one laptop.
Friend: Can you fix my laptop
Me: I'm a programmer
Friend: I thought you worked with computers.
Me: I do... but I'm not tech support
Friend: Please?
Me: (reluctantly) Fine.
*many hours later after attempting to get the PC to boot from a USB. WHY DOES THIS PC NOT HAVE A KEY TO ENTER THE GOD DAMNED BOOT MENU AND HAS NO BOOT ORDER SELECTION?????!*
Friend: Have you fixed it?
Me: No
Friend: You suck at computers
Me: ....
Never spoke to him again.8 -
We're all just domineering egotists who get pleasure from seeing computers obediently carry out our every order.3
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Me: Computers are really complex with all of their abstractions ~i say after looking at attached comic~
Him: Computers are nothing more than rube goldberg machines.
1 -
"[In the future, there will be two types of people.] People who tell computers what to do, and people who are told by computers what to do." - Marc Andreessen
I guess we'll be the ones who tell the computers what to do.3 -
Old but gold.
How are computers like men?
In order to get it's attention, you have to turn it on.44 -
Why computers are like men:
In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on.
They have a lot of data, but are still clueless.
They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they are the problem.
As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had waited a little longer, you could have had a better model.
Why computers are like women:
No one but the Creator understands their internal logic.
The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else.
Even your smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for later retrieval.
As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.7 -
Waiting for the day computers are fast enough so you can use redstone to program Minecraft inside Minecraft3
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"What do computers and air conditioners have in common?"
"They both become useless when you open windows." -
First contact with computers: draw a square using LOGO language. No idea which was the computer back then.
1 -
Russia removes windows from all government computers to "show that they're serious about cybersecurity"....3
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I've dealt with dusty computers, REALLY dusty computers, computers owned by smokers.
I've seen dead beetles and earwigs and spiders with their cobwebs in computers and dealt with them.
I've even seen live moth larvae wriggling about in a computer.
But never, have I ever had to deal with fluids. Until today.
I had to take apart a laptop that had been used as a toilet by a cat. It was still wet, but not warm.
And I had to try to get data off of it. But no, the urine was not compliant.
So, already pissed off customer was less happy about the fact that her data would still be a few days away from recovery to a new computer.
At least her frustration wasn't at us.6 -
I get fed up when Computer Science students do such things. I told my cousin to uninstall a software, he just pressed Shift+Del on the icon on Desktop and said: "Software deleted Successfully" :(. Why bro why??4
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If you type capital letters by hitting the caps-lock key twice, you don't deserve to use computers.8
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This is horrifying. Testing code seems to have been an afterthought that ended up ruining dozens of peoples’ lives.
“Bad software sent postal workers to jail, because no one wanted to admit it could be wrong”
https://theverge.com/2021/4/...10 -
That's how computers look in our school (with main focus on science)...
"Windows XP"
"No internet"
9 -
As a computer scientist I lie sometimes about my mojor to avoid any question related to computers...9
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I’ve been programming for 20 years now. My friends and family never really understood what I did back in the days. And they still don’t.
All they saw was a kid who was good with computers. Your friendly neighborhood tech guy who would take a look at your computer for free.
I’m sure most of you have been in the same situation.
When people ask me what I do for a living. I’d just say “something with computers”. Because most of the time they will ask me to look at their computers and I’d reply with “oh that’s not what I do”.
When I was younger, I’d try to explain what I actually do for a living. To really tell people the problems we as a programmer solves on a daily basis or the things we create. That’s really hard to explain to “common” people.
So whenever someone asks me what I do for a living? It’s always something with computers ;)12 -
If my laptop made the same many sounds that computers in series and movies does, I would go insane and became as creepy, cynical and depressed as the people you see in those films and series using their computers are3
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Q) What do computers and air conditioners have in common?
A)They both become useless when you open windows.3 -
Best
- got sick of computers, lost all my passion for this field
Worst:
- got sick of computers, lost all my passion for this field
I hope I'm just tired.3 -
I work at the technology center of my school meaning I get calls if anyone has any tech issues. our school just changed all its computer to all-in-one computers. the day after I get a call from an instructor saying all the computers are missing.1
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Not sure if thats just me, but I absolutely can not stand watching people work on a computer slowly. Like: Watching people copy a text into a different window be like:
Select text with the mouse...
Move mouse down for 20 seconds until everything is selected ..
Right click
Copy
Click on Taskbar to open different program.
Right click in program
Click paste....
I .... just ... can't man.
Its: Ctrl+a, ctrl+c, alt+tab, ctrl+v
(And that is just one example, there are worse ones)
Maybe that just me, but I am so used to using my computer fast, and I optimized the shit out of my workflow.12 -
"Oh, documentation? We don't write documentation. Our tests are our documentation."
Sure - I guess your developers are computers, too.5 -
I was never interested in programming. I was just good with computers and it felt really good watching other students struggling with something I'm really good at. I was unbelievably bad at everything in my life until I got introduced with computers.
.
.
.
And suddenly I became curious about everything thing related to computers, how? Why? Started asking these questions to myself and fucked my life.1 -
So my old friend was in introduction to computers about 5 years ago.
My Teacher: Alright, go to the Desktop and start Photoshop.
My Friend: Where is the Desktop?
My Teacher: It's the Start Screen, like when you log on.
Everyone died laughing and he still hasn't lived it down.2 -
!Rant
I'm falling in love with C#. So classy...
Languages are always girls to me, as the computers.21 -
So I pulled an OLD ibm out of a trailer, that is literally falling down, today. Anyway, this cpu had been rained on and been in extremes of heat, and cold, so much so that there was moss growing on it.
I pulled it out and plugged it in, with the original plug *that was rusted in*, and.. it worked. The screen and everything worked perfectly! The floppy disk that hadn't been used in over 14 years and was stuck inside the reader, worked...
Mind blown!
As the old saying goes, they don't make 'em like they used to.3 -
I knew i was gonna be developer when i scored 100/100 in school in computers for 3 consecutive years3
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Sometimes I wish I could run code outside computers/servers/microchips. Then I could build another world.3
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localhost, because it's always available even when I'm offline. The cloud is just a bunch of computers after all.1
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"It's a reminder that the underlying processes of computers are still made by humans."
https://save418.com
1 -
That moment when you are just testing a web framework, you type some random text, open in browser, and Google asks whether it could translate it. Yea sure... go ahead! 😛
5 -
Any software written for "academic" purposes.
Also computers. Developers' life would be much easier if they didn't exist.3 -
The effect of updating the bios via USB (possible only on windows) when all computers run on Linux.
8 -
"Computers aren't the thing. They are the thing that gets us to the thing."
-- Joseph McMillan, quoting Gordon Clark6 -
anyone aliased sudo to "please" ?
heard you wouldn't need root after that, computers are kind machines.5 -
Do you give your PC or Smartphone (or printer etc) a name?
Like: I called my Laptop "Momo" (Reference: Michael Ende, I never read nor watched it but I liked the drawing style)
And my Phone "Ori" (Reference: Ori & the blind Forest, I never played it, only saw a some gameplay)20 -
Best way to learn a subject/skill is to build projects. How about building your own computer from scratch to learn how computers work.
https://eater.net/8bit/ this tutorial teaches you to build an 8-bit computer from scratch 😍 -
Recently purchased a few edge AI devices at work, and management sent some people to box up and get rid of our dedicated GPUs, since we "just got new AI computers." Now futilely trying to explain to management that not all computers are exactly the same...3
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studying computers at a college were
1/4 aim to become a model
1/4 are trying to become photographers
1/4 don't know what's happening yet
1/4 are actually interested in computers
#indianEducationSystem6 -
I can't get any work done at work... The potatoe they gave me for a laptop is 5 years old, Every day I was approx 2 hours (no joke) for it to power up, open up my visual studio solutions, connect to the VPN, and open my browsers.
Then my fucking shit computer loses connectivity with one of my 2 monitors every 15 min so I need close the lid, reopen it again so it "picks up the monitor" then wait another 5 min for my windows to respond.
Agh!!!!!
It's frustrating too cuz my boss ordered me a new computer 2 months ago. But cuz I work for corporate bozos it took them 2 months just to process/place the order for a new computer. So now I have to wait even longer just to have a functioning computer.6 -
My parents think I'm teaching computers to think strategic to rule the world some day. They are a bit scared. They love me though. But they are scared.
Also my mum once told me that I should take care not to end in hell. She was serious about it. -
When I was in school, I had a period called "computers" every week. We were told by our computer teacher to remove our shoes outside the computer lab to prevent viruses from entering the computers.10
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Computers are allowed to work remotely from their server rooms in the cloud but people are enforced to go to office.
Computers are superior to humans1 -
A few months back, my Dad's friend (mother of a 10th grade student) asked me for help on her daughter video editing school assignment because I study 'computers'.
Me on the outside: 'I am sorry, I wouldn't be of much help here as I have zero experience with video editing'
Me on the inside: 'I am sorry, I design and develop software. I am not an all-knowing genius that knows everything even remotely connected to computers.'1 -
When you set up a process and find out a co-worker has been ignoring said process for weeks resulting in a lot of the wrong computers being replaced with new ones and leaving a lot of old computers out in the wild.
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When you share some code with someone who knows NOTHING about computers. So frustrating!!
(Not my picture)
3 -
When two people who don't know shit about computers start trying to troubleshoot each others' problems
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If we made computers out of Fry's transistors, it would cost a couple billion dollars. These better be insanely deluxe.
1 -
"The question of whether computers can think is like the question of whether submarines can swim." - Edsger W. Dijkstra1
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I've seen a few posts on here; exclaiming their disdain when it comes to people finding out about how good they are with computers. And while yes Programming has nothing to do with "fixing" computers; I myself don't mind fixing other people's computers. It's fun and it's usually not completely related to programming. So that means I'm not really doing my job outside of the office.
5 -
I normally just have nightmares about the projects I'm working on, especially when I struggle with a bug for days. Those are usually about just me stressing out about it. However, I have a lot of dreams about computers/technology, not necessarily coding-related:
- datacenters were just potato fields. If you go work the field, you'd go data mining
- in Biology, when being taught how having children works, you only tell that "parenting is only chmod-ing the rights of your children until they become the owners themselves"
- IP addresses with emojis instead of numbers were a standard now and they actually managed to replace IPv4, because everyone was so into emojis. They named it IPvE
- I witnessed a new Big Bang when the 32-bit Unix time overflown in 2038, and we were all quantum bits3 -
I can't believe fucking Google, aka me cha for SWEs decided that the best they can do is shove all that ram into our computers for Chromium. All of the major apps decided Electron was a good idea and now all of our computers are bloated with fatass memory hogs taking 600MB RAM.
Fuck you Goog.25 -
I'm gonna write a book on computers. It will be titled "Windows 10: How to Fuck Your Home Computer"2
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Make sure to check out the latest Veritasium video. It's mostly about the analog computers of the 20th century. At the end he teased that part 2 will be about using analog computers for neural networks.5
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First exposure...
When I was a kid, my parents would put on Tom & Jerry and other cartoons on an old family computer (you know - yellowed plastic, big, bulky tower, and an even bigger CRT monitor) for me to watch (Windows 95 didn't cut it, so they booted up Geexbox from CD)... Sometimes the playback would stop / the volume would be too quite - so I had to figure out how to control it by myself, without the help of my parents... Slowly, I was able to boot up Windows, and use my father's CD collection of All-In-One CDs (utilities and games). Later we were able to afford connecting to the internet through our phone landline - it was all downhill since then. Nowadays I'm helping my dad when it comes to computers (he's currently learning how to use Excel properly). :-)2 -
New favourite quote...
Computers are like Old Testament gods; lots of rules and no mercy.
Joseph Campbell -
No one in my family has ever been a developer. No one understood what a developer does so I just was labeled the one who knows about computers. Thankfully my immediate family was ok with me studying computers and I wasn't pushed to be a doctor or lawyer like most stereotypical ones do.
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How about them relatives always thinking 'you sa work with computers? You sa tech support for EVERYTHING'3
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What I say:
I understand computers.
What others understand:
I am the god of Computers I understand every Language that ist out There and what I cant solve is impossible...1 -
Been using my 2013 mac mini to code at work and I will have to say this little guys is a trooper. I would recommend for anybody looking for a cheap dev desktop.....install an ssd if you can.
5 -
Me: So I'm going to study CS.
Dad: Are you going to be an engineer?
Me: Well I'll be a software engineer!
Dad: ???
Me: I'll write software for computers.
Dad: So you're not going to really be an engineer? So you are going to waste your life on those stupid computers... What did I do wrong.
😑😑😑 -
Im getting a feeling that the more we try to replace humans with computers and machines, the worse the remaining humans get to interact with. And I dont mean that in a way that computers are better to interact with but in the sense that people tend to forget how to properly work with each other.8
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The keyboards of original ThinkPad computers are easily the best which I have ever used.
alias please=sudo1 -
I wonder if they thought about responsive design back in the 90s while resizing terminals in desktop computers..2
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That one kid who knows absolutely everything there is to know about computers... As long as they run Windows.2
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In the beginning, computers used relays on a macro scale instead of micro electronics
In the 40's admiral grace hopper found a moth in one of the relays and the term "debugging" was born
1 -
I just realized that when people call a computer stupid, they're not even insulting it. Of course it's stupid. It's a stupid machine that can do smart things
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Sooooo the computers at my university
printf("%f", 0.5);
Prints the biggest number a double can have, just... WHY!3 -
I've been at work for nearly 4 hours and have gotten barely 1 hour of work done due to my amazingly slow computer. Currently I'm waiting for visual studio to start responding. It'll respond in about 10-15 min... Takes 40 min to boot up my PC and launch my VS solutions.13
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As a teenager learning to code on a computer given by my parents
It hurts to see announcements like mobile development has some limitations on 32bit, or Github Desktop, Adobe XD and the new Unity only supports 64bit8 -
Programming actually inspired me to start programming. But to be honest, I loved computers since always
-
you're not allowed to hack computers, you get a felony for that
but hacking human brains is totally fine7 -
As usual before sleeping i set a timer for shutdown cuz i use my hotspot to surf devrant in bed before sleeping.
My roommate( lets call him AB) sees me writing the command.
AB: what are you doing?
Me: setting a timer to shutdown my computer.
AB: oh nice i want that too... is it just a linux thing?
Me: nope u can do it on windows.. just search the cmd command on google and u are good to go.
AB: you do it. You search.
Me: huh? Why would i do that? Bitch it is simple just google "cmd command shutdown timer" and open the first result.
AB: *extremely dissapointed face and starts searching* i dont understand anything.
Me: AB! The instructions literally explain everything! I can see!!
AB: you are good at computers, u are a computer engineer (im just a second year student)
Me: fuck off *i go to sleep*
Next day i learned that he did it after i left him, and that it did shutdown but he wasnt done with his work and he was too lazy to google how to cancel it.... JUST GOOGLE DAMMIT!!! -
When people think that because they can "fix" computers that they should major in Computer Science. 😂2
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"itseems like you know something about computers"
"Yea!", You haven't got the slightest idea, mortal!1 -
I played around on the school computers, creating "viruses" and stuff to log my friends off their computers, or open command prompt infinitely 😂 I also tried to make a Jeopardy game with batch for a project. Let's just say I should have used PowerPoint
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Has anyone started learning Q#? Or do you think it's creation was a little optimistic on Microsoft's part?5
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Question - How are computers and air conditioners similar?
They are both useless when you open windows. -
The revolution has started. Over half of the computers in my household run Linux, the other being macOS. Even my grandma has hopped on the Antergos train.
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TL;DR: Phone akku is draining, I steal our schools power. And secret plans to become rich.
My phone accumulator (heh, not a battery) DRAINS these days. It's fucking old and the temperatures are so hot that we actually afternoon classes are cancelled 🔥
So anyways, I'm sitting in the library (15 min break) and secretly charging my phone, devRanting on these wrongly configured, distorted monitors of this one computer that is connected with like 20 work stations xD
I'm stealing the schools power but the school owes me time (+2h of more useless sitting at school with my new timetable) - and time is money. And the schools money buys power. So I don't feel bad about it.
Actually a friend and me wanted to develop and install a plugin - when being able to bypass the reset-application in our school network - that uses the schools computers and their power to do crypto mining.
I wouldn't feel bad about it.4 -
So, what's your IT trivia?
One of my favourites is sosumi.
When Apple Computers started up they were sent a "cease and desist" notice by Apple Music (The Beatles).
They reached a settlement that Apple Computers would never publish music and Apple Music would never sell computers.
So when the Mac came out and played a tune on startup, the filename was sosumi.
Wikipedia now appears to dispute this, saying that sosumi wasn't the startup sound, but some other sound - any Mac experts care to comment?1 -
Of course another one of my non Apple computers bit the dust for absolutely no other reason than time.
Sigh...this is why I prefer to keep my windows computers on the desktop level, custom level. -
I can already imagine in the future:
Remember back in the 10s when there was quantum computers with the size of a room for tens of thousands of dollars? Now everyone has one implanted in their head with 100 times the computing power! With the old hashing algorithms we could mine hundreds of blocks every second just with thinking about it1 -
What are the thoughts of privacy conscious people about quantum computers? As far as I understand current TLS version encryption method is vulnerable to quantum computers, thus if your ISP or other agencies store all your traffic data right now, they'll be able to decrypt it after gaining access to quantum computers.
One way to secure your privacy would be to use your own VPN that uses encryption method that is quantum-resistant, but again the VPN would be using TLS to connect to the Internet.6 -
Q: What do computers and air conditioners have in common?
A: They both become completely useless when you open Windows. -
It seems a bit unusual, but my parents approved immediately of my going into programming (was 13 at the time), although their reasoning was because of the stereotype of those days that anyone who works with computers with computers makes a lot of money.
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I was in the first grade and my dad worked at the government as a budget officer. We didn't have a computer at that time, though. So, my Dad let me use his PC at his office. My first interaction with computers, started with just one program, Microsoft Word, which Dad used most of his documents.
What I did to immerse myself with computers for the first time as a first-grader was by typing my name in Times New Roman and printed it with my dad's printer. I was very impressed of how a computer can do at that time.
And that sole program was my starting point of my fascination with computers and how it motivated me to learn more about computers. -
Parents got a computer home when I was 7 years old.
Used to Play Serious Sam,Rally Trophy and Freedom Fighters on it. Alaways wondered how these games were made just to follow that Passion and make my own 12 years later :P -
!rant
I'm going to study physics but I'm also interested in computers. I'm looking for some good books about computer secirity, Assembly and how computers works (some computer science stuff like theories about automats or some HW stuff, for example basics about CPU).
Can you suggest me some books from I can learn, please? -
Went to download Kubuntu over Ubuntu since I'm not a fan of Unity. Error message during install, crashed computer, have to reinstall Ubuntu using backup USB -.-4
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Will we code on quantum computers in rhe future? What language will work? Will there be new language for just them?4
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When your version control is a bunch of rar files scattered across three different desktops in three different computers2
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My father has 2 younger brothers, the younger one was the one whose life was easier compared to the others, so he could do better studies (basic studies in my father's context was to be able to handle a farm, which my father couldn't care less), and managed to study around computers.
Since he lives in south of France (Toulouse), we only could see him during the Christmas period, where he'd bring a trashy Windows 95 "laptop" and initiate my father to stuff like Excel or web browsing.
He'd also bring pirated games for me, like Tony Hawk Pro Skater 2, Command & Conquer, the good quality 👌
This is how I came from not knowing computers at all to being addicted like there's no tomorrow, and how I decided to make it my job a few years after, that was the good times -
Finding and solving problems on virtual computers in PC Building Simulator helps with the stress of a long day of finding and solving problems on real computers.2
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An artificial human brain with computers operational power. OMG !!!! That will surely take unlimited time.2
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Even though I am only 19, I got introduced to computers pretty late. We always had an old Win98 machine in our house and when I was 8 my dad introduced me to Command & Conquer on it. And the first contact I had with the internet (which I really didn't care about until then) was when social networks became a thing at school, that was around 2010, when I was 11-12.
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Why is everyone+dog starting to harden their systems against quantum computers cracking it? Are usable quantum computers available for all the insiders now? This is all giving me the deja vu feel of eternalblue/wannacry fix Microsoft was passionately recommending to update back when it wasn't publicly know.
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There have been several occasions where a teammate's computer was acting up and upon me walking over the issue resolved.
Now they all think I'm a wizard...1 -
My father is an electrical engineer and using computers from MainFrame times. So, duirng my childhood I always see computers arround me. This is the first reason I fall in love with computers and programing.
I think I am using a computer since 3rd grade. Or mightbe erlier. doesn't remamber.1 -
The last weeks I was reading and watching videos about quantum computers and I can't wait like ten years until they becomes useful.1
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after working with azure for weeks on end i now see why parents tell kids computers rot their brains1
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What's the difference between computers and sex?
In one you put the software in the hardware, in the other, the hardware in the software.3 -
Hellish day. 5 computers in my network started getting random bsod and random time, sometimes 1 or more hours apart, sometimes few minutes. After middle of the day only 2 computers of the 5 keeps getting bsod. Is this somekind of virus, I ran few scanners didn't found anything. And why this is happening only today and only these computers. Wtf7
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Any tips for building a hackintosh? I plan to work this summer and build one myself... Any advice?11
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Any program or app that let's you see how powerful a computer you need based on the programs you want to run?8
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So I'm a windows person through and through.. I used them at school college and university, but
I've heard a lot about Linux and unbuntu and it's got me a little curious Now the question I'm asking is can someone eli5 what unbuntu is? is it free to use? how hard is it to install? How hard is it to use? What is it good for? work/games/music?4 -
I mean, I'm very young so I do not remember any time at all in which there was no computers at home. What I do remember is that I used a government educational software with some games when I started using computers. Then the internet came and it has stayed ever since
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