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"A what?"
"Software engineer"
"Engineer?"
"Yes, for computer software"
"So you make computers?"
"Well I mostly write software"
"Write books?"
"No, I'm programming"
"??"
"I work all day with computers"
"Ah, could you help me with..."
Mother fffuck!!7 -
Boss decided to limit Wi-Fi access only to company computers.
Ended up blocking everyone, including himself.10 -
The computers at my local vet clinic are suspended with eyebolts and leashes so they don't get pee'd on.
9 -
My dad called me up at 11:30 PM telling me that his computer wasn't booting. I drive over to see what was going on. I notice immediately that the motherboard light is a solid amber light.
Me: "The motherboard is amber, that means it's failing to POST".
Dad: "How soon can we fix it? I need to run my Ebay business."
Me: "A week probably. You have a laptop that works can you use that?"
Dad: "It doesn't work great with Windows, it's not a very powerful compu"
Me: "You're going to use Linux dad. Welcome to Linux."
11 -
What do computers and air conditioners have in common ---- They both become useless when you open windows
3 -
I need to hide myself, my computer, programming skills and computer knowledge from people. Then only, I will be safe..
Friend: Heeey, you're good with computers right?
Me: No! 😑
Friend: Come-on bro. I know you are.
Me: What do you want?
Friend: I want you to check and book flights for me for country X.
Me: Are you ok? How does this have anything to do with someone being good with computers and stuff?
Friend: Haha, see? You're good with computers. *starts laughing. Anyway, since you're good, you can find the best prices. I know you know how to search sites and how to find things online.
Me: WTF?!?!!! All, you have to do is type in your search. If you don't like the results, you simply refine it.
Friend: See, all this tech stuff I'm not really good at it.
Me: But you're good at searching for other things online, right? Do the same for your flights.
*Picks my laptop and walks away.
How can a young man not be able to search for flights online but knows how to use several gadgets. Nonsense.10 -
<person>: What do you do?
<me>: I'm a developer.
<person>: What?
<me>: A computer programmer.
<person>: **blank stare**
<me>: I work with computers.
<person>: Ohhh. You work with computers! There is something wrong with mine, will you look at it for me?
<me>: I don't do hardware.
<person>: **blank stare**
<me>: I don't fix computers.
<person>: What?
<me>: **walks away**9 -
Does anyone else experience the excess knowledge crisis? Wherein you realise that there is so much knowledge out there that you don't know where to start, and the moment you start, you realise there is something new to learn and you instantly get distracted.9
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Random friend: "hey! What course are you studying?"
Me: "computer science engineering"
RF: "oh cool, can you install Ubuntu in my laptop?"
Me: *shoots her*18 -
I told someone I programmed in JavaScript and they responded with "Oh, you fix computers?"
FACEPALM8 -
Q: What do computers and air conditioners have in common??
A: They both become useless when you open windows.3 -
That is actually what happens!!
We work in front of computers so that we can go home and sit in front of other computers!! 🤔
5 -
found this gem today.
P.S.
captcha - Completely Automated Public Turing test to tell Computers and Humans Apart.
ahh, seems promising!!
3 -
Client: So you work with computers?
Me: I create software for computers, yes.
Client: Fix my printer.
Me: I SAY SOFTWARE FOR COMPUTERS YOU BUFFOON!3 -
This rant means YOU if you are one of those people that "fix" their family's computers.
I was visiting my family over the holidays and while I managed to stay away from fixing their computers for the most time, I offered to help my grandfather to update the Garmin navigation device he wanted to gift my father. (They do not use smartphones for navigation, and my father doesn't want "these modern shitty phones".)
When booting up my grandfather's laptop, I realized something odd: Linux Mint boot screen. Wut?
And immediately I said: "It could be impossible to update your navigation device on this laptop."
As true enough, the Garmin Express update software requires either a Windows PC or a Mac; and even though I vaguely hoped it might be possible to upgrade through Linux, I just could not be bothered to find out that day.
What I wondered though is why did my grandfather of all people ran Linux!?
Don't get me wrong, I use Linux myself on my work machine and I never want to work with something else when coding; yet my grandfather is an end user of the show-me-where-and-what-and-how-often-to-click-kind.
What could he gain by it?
As it turns out, the computer nerd's friend of my uncle managed his PC. And my uncle and he decided unanimously my grandfather should better run Linux. Is it something my grandfather needs? No. BUT IT'S RIGHT! Suck it up! (My father's laptop therefore also runs Linux Mint. So he can't upgrade his new device either.)
This is the ugly kind of entitled nerd-dom I truly detest.
When discussing things further, my grandfather told me that he had problems ever since with his printer. Under Windows, he knew how to print on the special photo paper. Under Linux, all he can barely manage is to print on normal papers. Shame, printing photos was the only thing he liked doing on that device. What did my uncle's friend tell him?
"Get a decent printer!"
Fuck that guy.
It's fine if Linux works for you, but before you install it on a PC of a relative, you better make sure it fits their needs! If you have that odd member that only wants to write letters, read emails, use facebook, and wants to play that browser game, feel free to introduce them to Linux.
Yet if they have any special wish, don't stand in their way.
If they want to do something that requires a certain OS, don't just decide for them that their desire is wrong, but help them achieve their goal. If you can't align that with your ideology, then get the fuck out of my way and stop "helping".
For some people, a computer is a device to achieve a certain goal, a work. They only get hindered by your ill-advised attempts at virtue signalling.12 -
"I still don't understand how you're paid to play with computers all day" - My Mum
If only my mum understood the extent to which people playing with computers influence the world...4 -
"[In the future, there will be two types of people.] People who tell computers what to do, and people who are told by computers what to do." - Marc Andreessen
I guess we'll be the ones who tell the computers what to do.4 -
We're all just domineering egotists who get pleasure from seeing computers obediently carry out our every order.3
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Me: Computers are really complex with all of their abstractions ~i say after looking at attached comic~
Him: Computers are nothing more than rube goldberg machines.
1 -
Old but gold.
How are computers like men?
In order to get it's attention, you have to turn it on.44 -
Friend brings over a Windows 8 all in one laptop.
Friend: Can you fix my laptop
Me: I'm a programmer
Friend: I thought you worked with computers.
Me: I do... but I'm not tech support
Friend: Please?
Me: (reluctantly) Fine.
*many hours later after attempting to get the PC to boot from a USB. WHY DOES THIS PC NOT HAVE A KEY TO ENTER THE GOD DAMNED BOOT MENU AND HAS NO BOOT ORDER SELECTION?????!*
Friend: Have you fixed it?
Me: No
Friend: You suck at computers
Me: ....
Never spoke to him again.8 -
When you start a job and they tell you to put your nice laptop away, because you'll have to work on a company provided laptop running Windows 7 in a constricted environment on a project using Svn. And to top it off they tell you to trade in your IntelliJ for NetBeans.
Did I just travel back in time?13 -
Windows? U ok?
I also can't open any apps. This is why I hate school computers. They are so buggy.
16 -
When ever someone asks me to fix their PC I ask them to sit down next to me so I can show them how I did it. First thing I do is open up Google search the problem then look them dead in the eye and smile 😂😂😂. I Then proceed to implement the fix from the first page of results. I don't get many repeat requests... I'm Such a passive cunt.😂😂😂5
-
"What do computers and air conditioners have in common?"
"They both become useless when you open windows." -
Why computers are like men:
In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on.
They have a lot of data, but are still clueless.
They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they are the problem.
As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had waited a little longer, you could have had a better model.
Why computers are like women:
No one but the Creator understands their internal logic.
The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else.
Even your smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for later retrieval.
As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.7 -
Waiting for the day computers are fast enough so you can use redstone to program Minecraft inside Minecraft3
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First contact with computers: draw a square using LOGO language. No idea which was the computer back then.
4 -
Russia removes windows from all government computers to "show that they're serious about cybersecurity"....5
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This is what my roommate got handed to him at a lecture. Completely written in Comic Sans, everything is in fucking comic sans and it is not a joke! 🤣
19 -
I get fed up when Computer Science students do such things. I told my cousin to uninstall a software, he just pressed Shift+Del on the icon on Desktop and said: "Software deleted Successfully" :(. Why bro why??4
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If you type capital letters by hitting the caps-lock key twice, you don't deserve to use computers.9
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How I feel when my family says "Sure you can fix the TV! if you can make a video game, this shouldn't be a problem."
1 -
That's how computers look in our school (with main focus on science)...
"Windows XP"
"No internet"
10 -
You know what Linux has taught me? That above anything, a computer is just a tool. There is a lot you can do with the tool, but do not depend on it so much that you fear losing it.1
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When I hear, "master/slave" I don't think about terminology and syntax for a programming language I dislike because of its silly functional indent requirements. I think of jumper settings on IDE hard disks in the '90s. Primary master, secondary master, primary slave, secondary slave.2
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As a computer scientist I lie sometimes about my mojor to avoid any question related to computers...9
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I’ve been programming for 20 years now. My friends and family never really understood what I did back in the days. And they still don’t.
All they saw was a kid who was good with computers. Your friendly neighborhood tech guy who would take a look at your computer for free.
I’m sure most of you have been in the same situation.
When people ask me what I do for a living. I’d just say “something with computers”. Because most of the time they will ask me to look at their computers and I’d reply with “oh that’s not what I do”.
When I was younger, I’d try to explain what I actually do for a living. To really tell people the problems we as a programmer solves on a daily basis or the things we create. That’s really hard to explain to “common” people.
So whenever someone asks me what I do for a living? It’s always something with computers ;)16 -
So I pulled an OLD ibm out of a trailer, that is literally falling down, today. Anyway, this cpu had been rained on and been in extremes of heat, and cold, so much so that there was moss growing on it.
I pulled it out and plugged it in, with the original plug *that was rusted in*, and.. it worked. The screen and everything worked perfectly! The floppy disk that hadn't been used in over 14 years and was stuck inside the reader, worked...
Mind blown!
As the old saying goes, they don't make 'em like they used to.4 -
Voice commands are the future!!!! .... God I hope not... Why do people like this obviously inferior interface?
A real conversation with Google assistant while driving, I got a text:
"Read text"
...
"Read text message"
*You have one text message from Dave. Would you like to hear it?*
"... Yes!"
* Hey what's up?*
"Reply"
....
"Reply to text"
*I don't understand*
"Text Dave!!!!"
"Message James using SMS. What's the message?"
GAH!!!!!!!! fuck you Google assistant! This is literally the only thing I use you for, so stop being so fucking bad at it!!!!11 -
If my laptop made the same many sounds that computers in series and movies does, I would go insane and became as creepy, cynical and depressed as the people you see in those films and series using their computers are3
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That moment when you are just testing a web framework, you type some random text, open in browser, and Google asks whether it could translate it. Yea sure... go ahead! 😛
5 -
Sometimes I wish I could run code outside computers/servers/microchips. Then I could build another world.3
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"Computers aren't the thing. They are the thing that gets us to the thing."
-- Joseph McMillan, quoting Gordon Clark6 -
localhost, because it's always available even when I'm offline. The cloud is just a bunch of computers after all.1
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I was supposed to be asleep four hours ago. But I have to say, screwing around with linux distros on antiquated machines I've acquired over the past two years is much more fun. The oldest computer I have with me today is actually the most recent addition to my collection: an HP Pavillion from 2002. It's got a Pentium 4 2.6, and is currently still running XP, though not for long. Thinking of turning it into a little cloud/web server for entertainment purposes.
I might just harvest the hard drives from it and put them into the other Pavillion I have (it's about 3 years younger) to have more storage in one device. Maybe I'll make them both separate servers, one for cloud, one for web hosting. We'll see.
Sorry for the ramble, I usually ramble to my girlfriend, but she's asleep, so I figured I'd dump it here.
Back to doing research.3 -
I was never interested in programming. I was just good with computers and it felt really good watching other students struggling with something I'm really good at. I was unbelievably bad at everything in my life until I got introduced with computers.
.
.
.
And suddenly I became curious about everything thing related to computers, how? Why? Started asking these questions to myself and fucked my life.1 -
So my old friend was in introduction to computers about 5 years ago.
My Teacher: Alright, go to the Desktop and start Photoshop.
My Friend: Where is the Desktop?
My Teacher: It's the Start Screen, like when you log on.
Everyone died laughing and he still hasn't lived it down.2 -
!Rant
I'm falling in love with C#. So classy...
Languages are always girls to me, as the computers.21 -
Our IT-Class project: Mathematics trainer in Java
Day 1 (was monday)
TL;DR we didn't save.
So we formed groups and I landed in the UI team with, let's call him Mage and let's call her Goth.
We had an eclipse project folder on our desktop (they said it only works when put on desktop) Btw they didn't even want to use a cloud or something (I wish we'd use git and I'd finally learn it). We should take the changes by USB from computer to computer.
So me, Mage an Goth are making a basic GUI for this Mathematic-Training App. We use this thing from Eclipse but I forgot the name. It has not enough functionality on surface and I hate things that break complex things up to ease things but leave away so much.
So after a productive hour of building a GUI and centering shit by calculating the top and bottom distance and use margins (hurts me really but Mage was designing, Goth intensively calculating on paper), the bell rings.
Mage wants to save the project on my USB-Stick and bamm💥
A black screen.
I don't know how it happened but it sure had something to do with the USB-port looking like you fucked it with a way to huge🍆. It looked damn broken.
So because we have a nice App called HD-Guard, which fucking wipes the desktop on startup and resets all but the documents/images/videos/music folder —
It's all's gone. Today is day 2 of this project so let's see how today turns out.3 -
I knew i was gonna be developer when i scored 100/100 in school in computers for 3 consecutive years3
-
Best way to learn a subject/skill is to build projects. How about building your own computer from scratch to learn how computers work.
https://eater.net/8bit/ this tutorial teaches you to build an 8-bit computer from scratch 😍 -
My parents think I'm teaching computers to think strategic to rule the world some day. They are a bit scared. They love me though. But they are scared.
Also my mum once told me that I should take care not to end in hell. She was serious about it.1 -
Any software written for "academic" purposes.
Also computers. Developers' life would be much easier if they didn't exist.3 -
Do you give your PC or Smartphone (or printer etc) a name?
Like: I called my Laptop "Momo" (Reference: Michael Ende, I never read nor watched it but I liked the drawing style)
And my Phone "Ori" (Reference: Ori & the blind Forest, I never played it, only saw a some gameplay)21 -
I just say i do stuff with computers and actually always try to downplay my position when talking to people .
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When I was in school, I had a period called "computers" every week. We were told by our computer teacher to remove our shoes outside the computer lab to prevent viruses from entering the computers.10
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long rant;
How did I got into CS?
When I first got my laptop, I put on a password and forgot it. Nobody knew those things at that time around me (most of them, still don't) so I had to pay ₹350 (~$5) for formatting (OS reinstallation).
After a week, I again forgot the password and had no guts to ask more money from my family, because of the fear of getting scolded.
So, I took out the manuals that had shipped with the laptop, read them all. Found nothing.
But, on a very small page, a single line was written, "Insert the disc. Press F12 after pressing the power button".
I intuitively tried it and it worked (I had the OS DVD and no internet).
And I spent the next year experimenting with the windows OS (Vista).
Then tried all the other OSs.
Those were some times..2008..I guess.
Learnt OS without the internet. Nowadays people can't do it even with it.
What's your story?5 -
What does air conditioners and computers have in common?
- Both become useless when you open windows.
1 -
My doctor's office logs into their computers using the Administrator user. 🤔Pretty sure that's how patient info gets leaked.2
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I can't get any work done at work... The potatoe they gave me for a laptop is 5 years old, Every day I was approx 2 hours (no joke) for it to power up, open up my visual studio solutions, connect to the VPN, and open my browsers.
Then my fucking shit computer loses connectivity with one of my 2 monitors every 15 min so I need close the lid, reopen it again so it "picks up the monitor" then wait another 5 min for my windows to respond.
Agh!!!!!
It's frustrating too cuz my boss ordered me a new computer 2 months ago. But cuz I work for corporate bozos it took them 2 months just to process/place the order for a new computer. So now I have to wait even longer just to have a functioning computer.6 -
studying computers at a college were
1/4 aim to become a model
1/4 are trying to become photographers
1/4 don't know what's happening yet
1/4 are actually interested in computers
#indianEducationSystem6 -
A customer brought in an older, beat-up machine and told us it wasn't booting. We noticed that his power supply was damaged, but checked it in for other diagnostics.
I found out he had a corrupted operating system, but with everything else on the computer, I didn't recommend fixing the computer.
Now, for reference, this is a Windows 7 computer with 10GB of RAM. But it also has a bent side-panel, the front-panel is hanging on by a thread, and it would also need the new power supply -- all of which would be over $200 USD.
When I finally relayed this info to him over the phone, we started talking about the system.
Him: So what do you think?
Me: I mean, this computer has some good specs, but with the damage, I wouldn't recommend repairing the computer. Now, this is your computer and you are more than welcome to tell me to shove it, but I'd recommend replacing it. We're at the breaking point of doing whatever you want to do, and it's your money that you're spending, but in my professional opinion, I don't think it's worth saving.
Him: Well, okay. I'll come in later and see what options I have6 -
A few months back, my Dad's friend (mother of a 10th grade student) asked me for help on her daughter video editing school assignment because I study 'computers'.
Me on the outside: 'I am sorry, I wouldn't be of much help here as I have zero experience with video editing'
Me on the inside: 'I am sorry, I design and develop software. I am not an all-knowing genius that knows everything even remotely connected to computers.'1 -
If we made computers out of Fry's transistors, it would cost a couple billion dollars. These better be insanely deluxe.
3 -
When two people who don't know shit about computers start trying to troubleshoot each others' problems
-
When you share some code with someone who knows NOTHING about computers. So frustrating!!
(Not my picture)
3 -
I normally just have nightmares about the projects I'm working on, especially when I struggle with a bug for days. Those are usually about just me stressing out about it. However, I have a lot of dreams about computers/technology, not necessarily coding-related:
- datacenters were just potato fields. If you go work the field, you'd go data mining
- in Biology, when being taught how having children works, you only tell that "parenting is only chmod-ing the rights of your children until they become the owners themselves"
- IP addresses with emojis instead of numbers were a standard now and they actually managed to replace IPv4, because everyone was so into emojis. They named it IPvE
- I witnessed a new Big Bang when the 32-bit Unix time overflown in 2038, and we were all quantum bits3 -
The keyboards of original ThinkPad computers are easily the best which I have ever used.
alias please=sudo1 -
"The question of whether computers can think is like the question of whether submarines can swim." - Edsger W. Dijkstra1
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In the beginning, computers used relays on a macro scale instead of micro electronics
In the 40's admiral grace hopper found a moth in one of the relays and the term "debugging" was born
1 -
I've seen a few posts on here; exclaiming their disdain when it comes to people finding out about how good they are with computers. And while yes Programming has nothing to do with "fixing" computers; I myself don't mind fixing other people's computers. It's fun and it's usually not completely related to programming. So that means I'm not really doing my job outside of the office.
5 -
New favourite quote...
Computers are like Old Testament gods; lots of rules and no mercy.
Joseph Campbell -
I wonder if they thought about responsive design back in the 90s while resizing terminals in desktop computers..2
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What I say:
I understand computers.
What others understand:
I am the god of Computers I understand every Language that ist out There and what I cant solve is impossible...2 -
First exposure...
When I was a kid, my parents would put on Tom & Jerry and other cartoons on an old family computer (you know - yellowed plastic, big, bulky tower, and an even bigger CRT monitor) for me to watch (Windows 95 didn't cut it, so they booted up Geexbox from CD)... Sometimes the playback would stop / the volume would be too quite - so I had to figure out how to control it by myself, without the help of my parents... Slowly, I was able to boot up Windows, and use my father's CD collection of All-In-One CDs (utilities and games). Later we were able to afford connecting to the internet through our phone landline - it was all downhill since then. Nowadays I'm helping my dad when it comes to computers (he's currently learning how to use Excel properly). :-)2 -
I took a computer apart despite my mom and dad telling me no and that I'd electrocute myself. After I took it apart cleaned it up and put it back together, it was at this point I knew I had the control over these things.3
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I am a college student that's pursuing a degree in Computer Science. Once one of my classmates said that she had a 3 GB pen drive. I was curious as I'd never heard of any company making pen drives in that capacity. I asked her to show it to me, she showed it to me and pointed out the words "USB 3.0".
The same woman once copied the icon of Turbo C++ for an assignment submission.2 -
Been using my 2013 mac mini to code at work and I will have to say this little guys is a trooper. I would recommend for anybody looking for a cheap dev desktop.....install an ssd if you can.
5 -
How about them relatives always thinking 'you sa work with computers? You sa tech support for EVERYTHING'3
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Today started off like a normal day and then i got a call from my aunt and she asked if i could set up her new iPhone 8 plus. and once i got there i did and it was no biggie. and then she pulls out four more boxes and has me set all of them up for family members.
WHY DOES EVERYONE THINK IM TECH SUPPORT. it’s just so fucking annoying.4 -
My grandpa tells my mom that she can work with me on computers because we both type. She's a secretary.1
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Sooooo the computers at my university
printf("%f", 0.5);
Prints the biggest number a double can have, just... WHY!3 -
Programming actually inspired me to start programming. But to be honest, I loved computers since always1
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TL;DR: Phone akku is draining, I steal our schools power. And secret plans to become rich.
My phone accumulator (heh, not a battery) DRAINS these days. It's fucking old and the temperatures are so hot that we actually afternoon classes are cancelled 🔥
So anyways, I'm sitting in the library (15 min break) and secretly charging my phone, devRanting on these wrongly configured, distorted monitors of this one computer that is connected with like 20 work stations xD
I'm stealing the schools power but the school owes me time (+2h of more useless sitting at school with my new timetable) - and time is money. And the schools money buys power. So I don't feel bad about it.
Actually a friend and me wanted to develop and install a plugin - when being able to bypass the reset-application in our school network - that uses the schools computers and their power to do crypto mining.
I wouldn't feel bad about it.4 -
When people think that because they can "fix" computers that they should major in Computer Science. 😂2
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I just realized that when people call a computer stupid, they're not even insulting it. Of course it's stupid. It's a stupid machine that can do smart things
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Gmail > create new rule > Subject contains "Privacy Policy" > move to [Privacy Policy BS]
Hooray! I was going fucking mental from the daily Privacy Policy e-mails. Computaas help us. -
As a teenager learning to code on a computer given by my parents
It hurts to see announcements like mobile development has some limitations on 32bit, or Github Desktop, Adobe XD and the new Unity only supports 64bit8 -
As usual before sleeping i set a timer for shutdown cuz i use my hotspot to surf devrant in bed before sleeping.
My roommate( lets call him AB) sees me writing the command.
AB: what are you doing?
Me: setting a timer to shutdown my computer.
AB: oh nice i want that too... is it just a linux thing?
Me: nope u can do it on windows.. just search the cmd command on google and u are good to go.
AB: you do it. You search.
Me: huh? Why would i do that? Bitch it is simple just google "cmd command shutdown timer" and open the first result.
AB: *extremely dissapointed face and starts searching* i dont understand anything.
Me: AB! The instructions literally explain everything! I can see!!
AB: you are good at computers, u are a computer engineer (im just a second year student)
Me: fuck off *i go to sleep*
Next day i learned that he did it after i left him, and that it did shutdown but he wasnt done with his work and he was too lazy to google how to cancel it.... JUST GOOGLE DAMMIT!!! -
In front of a vending machine:
Me: gonna buy a drinj.
Me to me: ganna try to crash these windows xp pcs with 3 mb ram, tear them appart, ripp of their soul, and later on ask the manager why this happened, cos afterwards I have no clue 😈😈😈😈😈😈😈2 -
I've been at work for nearly 4 hours and have gotten barely 1 hour of work done due to my amazingly slow computer. Currently I'm waiting for visual studio to start responding. It'll respond in about 10-15 min... Takes 40 min to boot up my PC and launch my VS solutions.13
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My family thinks I sit in my bedroom office doing unintelligible things on two computers and complaining about crazy clients.
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anybody ever work with ProjectQ or QISKit? I'm doing a project for my algorithms class on Shor's algorithm, and I'm trying to find a guide for an implementation.
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"itseems like you know something about computers"
"Yea!", You haven't got the slightest idea, mortal!2 -
Has anyone started learning Q#? Or do you think it's creation was a little optimistic on Microsoft's part?8
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The revolution has started. Over half of the computers in my household run Linux, the other being macOS. Even my grandma has hopped on the Antergos train.
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Why Unity, why did you decide to need a graphic card from 3080 to run smoothly?!?! Even in low graphics configuration...3
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Of course another one of my non Apple computers bit the dust for absolutely no other reason than time.
Sigh...this is why I prefer to keep my windows computers on the desktop level, custom level. -
I can already imagine in the future:
Remember back in the 10s when there was quantum computers with the size of a room for tens of thousands of dollars? Now everyone has one implanted in their head with 100 times the computing power! With the old hashing algorithms we could mine hundreds of blocks every second just with thinking about it1 -
Do you all sometimes have this strange feeling, that.. actually humanity would not lose anything, if we killed all that useless tech we earn our money with?
Yeah, we get all that propaganda how technical prowess is empowering and sure we all know it's a nice feeling if you can apply the right clicks and bit flips to make the machine do as you want so you feel like the apprentice's sorcerer.
BUT even if you believe your user story adds some business value to some abstract package - what do these devices mostly do? Distract, diffuse your focus, envy other eye-porn provider, endless aberration of clips.
Fuck social media!
(Yes, I know I am on one, but this is because I haven't given up hope on this one.)6 -
Parents got a computer home when I was 7 years old.
Used to Play Serious Sam,Rally Trophy and Freedom Fighters on it. Alaways wondered how these games were made just to follow that Passion and make my own 12 years later :P -
My father has 2 younger brothers, the younger one was the one whose life was easier compared to the others, so he could do better studies (basic studies in my father's context was to be able to handle a farm, which my father couldn't care less), and managed to study around computers.
Since he lives in south of France (Toulouse), we only could see him during the Christmas period, where he'd bring a trashy Windows 95 "laptop" and initiate my father to stuff like Excel or web browsing.
He'd also bring pirated games for me, like Tony Hawk Pro Skater 2, Command & Conquer, the good quality 👌
This is how I came from not knowing computers at all to being addicted like there's no tomorrow, and how I decided to make it my job a few years after, that was the good times -
Even though I am only 19, I got introduced to computers pretty late. We always had an old Win98 machine in our house and when I was 8 my dad introduced me to Command & Conquer on it. And the first contact I had with the internet (which I really didn't care about until then) was when social networks became a thing at school, that was around 2010, when I was 11-12.
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The last weeks I was reading and watching videos about quantum computers and I can't wait like ten years until they becomes useful.1
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I'm pissed at my laptop. Its using the on board graphics instead of the dedicated graphics card. I've searched everywhere and can't find a solution. I've tried just disabling the on board graphics in the device manager, but then I can't plugin external monitors. And on top of that when opening a game it doesn't even use the GPU it uses the CPU
Anyone have advice? The onboard is AMD Radeon R7 and the card is an AMD RX 5603 -
Q: What do computers and air conditioners have in common?
A: They both become completely useless when you open Windows. -
Will we code on quantum computers in rhe future? What language will work? Will there be new language for just them?4
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When your version control is a bunch of rar files scattered across three different desktops in three different computers2
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There have been several occasions where a teammate's computer was acting up and upon me walking over the issue resolved.
Now they all think I'm a wizard...1 -
Went to download Kubuntu over Ubuntu since I'm not a fan of Unity. Error message during install, crashed computer, have to reinstall Ubuntu using backup USB -.-5
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So I'm a windows person through and through.. I used them at school college and university, but
I've heard a lot about Linux and unbuntu and it's got me a little curious Now the question I'm asking is can someone eli5 what unbuntu is? is it free to use? how hard is it to install? How hard is it to use? What is it good for? work/games/music?5 -
Seriously wondering why i bought a cheap slow ass laptop for school when i end up doing most of my homework at home anyway.
Android studio runs so fucking slow on it compared to my tower and i cant get this fucking camera assignment to fucking work AAAAAAAAAAAH2 -
An artificial human brain with computers operational power. OMG !!!! That will surely take unlimited time.2
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Any tips for building a hackintosh? I plan to work this summer and build one myself... Any advice?11
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When the company you work for buy you a laptop, do you take it home or leave it at the office? If you take it home, do you use it as a personal laptop for side projects for example?11
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I was watching an Ancient Aliens episode called "Beyond Roswell". The show described the idea of some of our tech being seeded slowly by introducing alien technology to specific companies. They suggested that computing technology has advanced very fast and introducing this tech could be part of that.
At first I was kinda pissed about this. I have read about the creation of the first transistor back in the 40s or 50s. WWII really advanced our need for computing devices such as what Turing built. Then I realized a lot of the explosion of computer tech did occur after key ET events. This kind of made me wonder how much is "us" and how much is ET tech. I also realized it can take a lot of effort to understand something really advanced. So reverse engineering can take a LOT of effort to figure these things out. Being seeded by external tech does not take away from humans at all.
A parallel to this is a programmer that learns how to use a C++ compiler. They could go their whole career without ever understanding how the compiler itself is doing its job. I find myself wanting to learn how compilers work and started down this path. I look at the simple grammar I have learned to parse. Then I look at the C++ grammar and think "How can I ever learn to do that?" So I see us viewing potentially advanced things and wondering how the heck can we ever learn to do that. The common reaction when faced with such tech would be disbelief and in some cases ridiculing the messenger. When I was a kid the idea of sending a picture over a phone was laughable. Now this is common and expected. It was literally a scifi concept when I was a kid.
So, back to the alien tech. I am now thinking it would be cool to be working with alien technology through computing. This is like scifi stuff now! So what if what we have was not all invented here (Earth). If anything this will prepare us programmers to get jobs working for alien corporations writing ship level programs and brain interfaces. Think of it as intergalactic resume building. 😉 -
I was 5 yrs old when i saw a computer for the first time.It was my uncle's.I used to type A to Z (A B C D....) back then on his computer.I guess i have come too far now !
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