I found this week topic a bit boring and obvious.
Most of it are similar.
Fixing washing machine, TV, radio or hack every website in the world.

I already wrote one rant about how my family deals with me being a developer, but this rant I wanna dedicate to people close to my family and what they actually think...

Earlier this year I ended school, so I was supposed to find a job. Well...I live in region where only small IT "companies" exist. It is really hard to find job as a developer around here. These small companies either do not want to hire anyone or they just hire people with super amazing university or just family members and friends. Anyway, I did not want to move to the capital city, so I just kept seraching...and that is how this family friends started to be fucking toxic.

While searching for job everyone just kept telling me how am I lazy as fuck and will not just go digging fucking drains or work for minimum wage to some korean shit company around here. Of course not literally, but I can see when someone starts to look at me as I am completely crazy. Our family lost many fake friends who just do not understand because of this. But it did not ended here...

When I finally found a job 1.5 month earlier, I was so happy. Job from home in relative good company. Ho Lee Fuk! Nobody believes me I am actually working. People look at me as I am a lazy fuck laying all day in bed and watching fucking TV. I am done with these dick people.

End of story.

You say Backend Developer, I don't think you know what that means

Gotta keep that code DRY...

"It should be noted that no ethically-trained software engineer would ever consent to write a DestroyBaghdad procedure. Basic professional ethics would instead require him to write a DestroyCity procedure, to which Baghdad could be given as a parameter." -- Nathaniel S. Borenstein, computer scientist

findDev - Tinder for finding your developer partners. [more details]

I Google
I stack overflow
I am an index that references
The internet memory

The modern day code-er mantra

Just a quick poll here to anyone who does a lot of programming, which IDE do you use? Do you prefer almost paper coding with little or no extensions or features or a full blown solution such as Eclipse?

Client Agency: "Well why did it take you so long to style the clickdummy?"

Me: "well I did not anticipate that you had that set up by a student who does it know his css. I had to fix many usability problems first."

Client: "To me it looks just like before. What did you do exactly?"

Me: "Are you serious? That thing was not at all usable before."

Client: "The functions were all there in the first place!"

Me: "Yes, but I one does not know where to click, that is no use, is it?"

Client: "Ok then what ever...I somehow feel like like you have gotten less efficient these days. "

Me: -.-""""!!!!

Client: "so would you please include some effects and make it shiny? I just wanted you to make it shiny."

Me: -___- "ok then"

-----

Client: "Now it's awesome, thanks."

Me: Browsing the security of a website.

Tell the website developer that they are using the SHA-1 hashing algorithm for encrypting the credentials of it's registered users.

Them: Yeah, so what?

Me: You shouldn't be using an algorithm which was exploited years ago in the age of 2016.

Them: Don't worry, nothing will happen.

Me: *facepalm*

Dev confession.
Everybody in my department thinks I am a genius programmer.
I am just a better googler who knows how to apply things.

After 3 years finally taking an actual holiday... I don't have my computer with me, no access to work, no WiFi... Just my beautiful family, the beach and a beautiful resort to explore.

To all beginners out there, not all languages are created equal.

Once I asked my mom about my dad. She told me he was like a void method. He never returns.

Came across a picture of one of my old projects from college. This still sums up my code today...

I really truly want to run my own dev blog, but every time I write an article, I feel that it's too dumb and useless because I already know the thing I wrote. I know it's absurd, yet I can't fight my own anxiety about it.

Woops.

How come starting a new project is always more appealing than finishing the infinite amount of unfinished projects :'(

My girlfriend got bitten by a mosquito and kept scratching it.
After I complained about the size of the bite, she said "c'mon it's just a bit, not big enough to be a byte".
When I finished facepalming (it took a while), I realized how proud I am of her.

Life when you didn't know about browsers developer tools

Made me laugh a little :D

I didn't choose the devRant life. The devRant life chose me.

Why programmers like UNIX:
unzip, strip, touch, finger, grep, mount, fsck, more, yes, fsck, fsck, fsck, umount, sleep

I really feel insecure, when it threatens me!

My wife is turning into my project manager . . .

Me : Check out this game I'm building as a side project!

Wife : Wow that's really neat! I expect to be able to play it on my phone. 1 month?

Me: What? I haven't even learned how to port ...

Wife : (interrupts) ONE MONTH

Scope creep even at home *sigh

Who wants one?

BOSS: That icon is not centered, move it slightly to the right
ME: You're wrong, I can garantee you it's centered (it was centered)
BOSS: Well, my eyes are telling me it's not, so move it to the right
ME: (faking increasing margin)
ME: Ok, now it's 10 px to the right, what do you think?
BOSS: it's a great result, now it's perfect! Cant you see the difference?
ME: Absolutely, you do are the real designer here...
BOSS: Ohhh, stop complaining, you'll learn one day...
ME: Yep.

When you planed to do some coding for your self on weekend and can only sleep and do dumb stuff. Because you know it's a weekend.

Windows 10 once again held my computer at ransom! When it finally came around after the update, all it really seem to do is place Edge back on my task bar. No... Bad Microsoft, I don't use or want Edge.

At a funeral.....

A visitor: What's the WiFi password here?

Priest: Respect the dead

Visitor: All small letters ?...

Agency: "Why don't you do more free work for us? When you do that we can give you better jobs for money?"

Me: "so if I do free work for you, I get to do paid work as a reward? ..you know that I am a freelancer, not your employee, don't you?"

*agencysulking*