Details
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About"Always code as if the guy who ends up maintaining your code will be a violent psychopath who knows where you live."
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Skillssoftware architect
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LocationGermany
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Github
Joined devRant on 9/14/2016
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Another day, another tragedy...
1,5 half year later 2 devs were able to deliver :
- custom authentication. Basically they did a very simple client credentials grant.
- a custom wrapper to manage windows services
- a custom job scheduling system
- a custom logging library to log everything to windows event viewer!!!!!!
- all csv reports are created using string interpolation WriteLine("'{varA}','{varB}'") like this...
There are a lot of defects in those functionalities and they delivered almost 0 business features.6 -
AT&T: We've fixed your voicemail setup issue, use <APP> to set it up
Me: About fucking time
*uses app*
AT&T: Voicemail setup failed. Also, we've eaten 300MB of your 500MB of mobile data.15 -
Been working frontend on a very large ASP.Net Core project with React. The company is a multi national oil company. I asked for some documentation on their React components, like where is the props, why is this component showing this side-effect and is there a component for X and Y so that you won't have to pay me in order to dig around in the codebase? They told me they will document the frontend when the project is finished (whenever that may be?)
So basically, there won't ever be any documentation then.3 -
BOSS: i will need your resume for this new project, can you make it?
ME: sure, but don't you have one?
BOSS: yes, but i would need it changed for a new details
ME: ok...
after work...
BOSS: we have a problem, remember that resume? we need it on english, and need it right now, can you translate it at home?
ME: ok, but give me a few minutes...
sends translated resume...
BOSS: ummm, it's not translated well, you didn't translate your education...
ME: the name of the school? you can't translate that...
BOSS: this lady asked for it, so do it...
ME: ok...
sends again...
BOSS: not quite there yet, you have Ć in your last name, translate that...
ME: translate my last name?
BOSS: yeah, this lady has a spell check and saw that incorrect...
ME: .....
im going to celebrate when i leave this itterate shithole16 -
DISCLAIMER: I swear to god this is true. This is a completely unfabricated anecdote.
Soon we are moving to a new office space, and my department have been delegated the responsibility of moving all of the computers from the old work space to the new one. I was a little confused at first, because I'm a software developer, not a removalist.
It gets better.
We just had a meeting the other day, and my manager had advised us that we were to be moving the machines on a Saturday. I confirmed whether we were being paid overtime, simply because I had never worked a Saturday before. My manager replied (this is paraphrased but ultimately accurate) - "It's unpaid. Because you get paid a salary, you're expected to do unpaid overtime here and there. We have christmas parties and nights out, all of which come out of the companies pocket. Not all companies do this, so it's only fair you give back".
I honestly couldn't believe it. I was being asked to spend basically the majority of my day off moving computers from one site to another, for free, purely because it's "expected". Am I the only one who thinks this is crazy?
Long story short, I went home and started updating my resume.18 -
I'm working on some custom software for work, and I've been keeping a changelog. I use three main headers: Added, Fixed, and Changed. Under what header should 'general stability improvements' go? These stability improvements are too vague and broad to specifically mention what changed (because nothing changed, just some source code was re-arranged/re-worded) What category would you put this?
Edit: This changelog is for the `non-tech` employees5 -
Horrible interview story:
I was interviewed in a meeting room along with 2 other applicants at the same time. Our CVs were read to us in front of each other, and the questions were asked game show style where the fastest one answers.
It was terribly unprofessional and a huge red flag.
They wanted to give me a starting salary of 1000$.
Thankfully, I got accepted in another much better company before making a possibly huge mistake.6 -
When I was around 13 I started programming html and designing websites on and off over the years. Later during my first year of college I picked up C++ and loved it. I always had this idea that web design was very elementary programming until recently.
I recently got forced into learning C# and ASP.NET Core MVC by my internship. Holy shit was I wrong. Web design is so insanely complex and interesting!
C#, ASP.NET Core MVC, HTML, CSS, JS, Entity Framework Core, and the list goes on.....all to create a single website/web application.
I apologize for my ignorance to the website development community.
I’m so excited to learn all of this! =D8 -
WWDC was last night. Joined my companies "iOS" slack channel this morning expecting to see lots of activity about SwiftUI, Combine, Federated Login, New iPad updates ... but no. The only comment
"Does anyone else feel like the event artwork is lazy and uninspired?"
... I am just fundamentally in the wrong company12 -
Team quarterly capacity planning:
- Confluence document created with a big table (+100 rows) by product / business. Each row is something that needs to be worked on for the coming quarter.
- Row 1 could be an Epic with 15 tickets attached. Row 2 could be adding a single log to our analytics. No consistency.
- For each row, we create a separate confluence document with the "technical details". 75% of the time these remain blank. 1% of the time there is something useful, the rest its a slightly longer version of the description from the bigger document.
- Each row gets a high level estimate by the leads. 50% of the time without sufficient background info to actually do get it accurate.
- These are then copied into the teams excel spreadsheet, where it will calculate if we are over/under capacity.
- We will go backwards and forwards between confluence and excel until we are "close enough" to under capacity without being too much.
- Once done, we then need to copy them into the org/division's excel spreadsheet. This document is huge, has every team on it and massive 50pt text saying "Do not put a filter on this document".
- Jira tickets + Epics will now be created for each one, with all the data be copied over by hand, bit by bit, by product. Often missing something.
- Last week, at the end of this process for Q2 (2 weeks late), 6 of the leads were asked to attend a 30 minute meeting to discuss how to group the line items together because we had too many for the bigger excel spreadsheet.
- This morning I was told business weren't happy with one of our decisions to delay one line item. Although they were all top priority (P0), one of them was actually higher than that again (P-1?) and we need to work it back in.
... so back to step 1
- Mid way through Q2, a new document will be created for Q3. Work items that didn't make the cut will be manually copied from one to the other. 50/50 whether anything that didn't get done on time in Q2 will make its way to the Q3 doc.
- "Tech excellence" / "Tech debt" items (unit/UI tests, documentation, logging, performance, stability etc) will never be copied over. Because product doesn't understand them and assumes therefore that they are unimportant.
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PS: I'd like to say this was a rare event for Q2, but no. Q4 and Q1 were so bad, we were made assurances from the director of engineering that he would fix this process for Q2. This is the new and improved process (I shit you not) that has resulted in nothing tangible.7 -
I got the following question from the client:
After last batch of changes the name of the downloaded file is now `<file name > (2).pdf`, can it be like before, without `(2)`4 -
Got called up today by my org's cyber security team.
Reason: Installed a font called "Hack" (https://github.com/source-foundry/...)
🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️1 -
I don't know why is that everytime you guys find a security bug or a data leak or that someone is saving plain passwords on their database, you try to cover and censor the company name. Listen people, fuck the company and their name and their brand if someone's data might be in danger. Everybody should be aware of what is happening with their personal information.
Also, maybe would be great if devRant would let users to post anonymous rants for this kind of issues or a special thread with latest news about our online security.3 -
I'm trying out blazor at the moment, building a couple of prototypes. I really need to brush up on my html/css for the view stuff, and of course there are a few gotchas. But other than that, I really think Microsoft has nailed browser apps with this!
Client side, server side, a mix of both, runs in all major browsers + as PWA or Electron.
Wow.
All logic and view manipulation in C#, no JS. And the performance is great.
Just.
Wow.1 -
Last week we were only one step ahead of going in production mode with the angular web app i coded a half year long. Sounds good right?
Yeah this morning my boss said in the dev Meeting, blazer is now in preview mode, let's do it with this tech, so our full stack is in c#...
He is not a web dev. He want to step back from coding in the near future, but yeah let's use fucking Blazer 😥
For the rest of the day, i started with a Blazer Test Project.. great start into the short week.
How about your start?6 -
Only one sticker.
I go door-to-door every Sunday, "Excuse me dear sir/madam, do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior Haskell?".
Most people slam the door shut in my face, but every lost family I convert to the way of the monad is worth it.
Even if they don't believe in the same deity, even if they express their love for the divine through something as misguided as Typescript or Swift or whatever, as long as they embrace the truth of strong types and composable code, as long as they at least read the gospel of the functional style once in their lives, have one enlightened moment where they see the glory of morphisms, it's all good.34 -
Am I the only one that prefers a clean laptop with no stickers?
(I do put all my stickers in a notebook however.)6 -
All right, yesterday I let you submit images for me to use as my lock screen. Congratulations to Root, who had the most upvoted image!
Wonderful submission.20 -
Interviewed at Microsoft 2days ago. I feel positive about it. Fingers crossed to see what feedback I get.21
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"Please add a feature to check the user's internet connection before the application starts."
-- THIS IS A GOD DAMN WEB APPLICATION, YOU DUMB MORONS! Maybe I should add a feature next that checks for the user's computer being turned on or what? How about making sure the application isn't run when the power is out?!
Jesus fuck.14 -
Sooooo.. Aws's route53 and ELB outage nuked all our environments. 503 here, 503 there, 5xx everywhere.
Just sitting and picking nose for we've got nothing else to do now.. Who on the fucking earth thought it might be a great idea to centralize the whole fucking internet into 3 companies' hands!?!
How's your day?7 -
Enjoying the college life to the fullest was the mindset of the confident boy, who now burns the midnight oil to cope up with world and give himself a proud future.
Is this a story of some successful person, who has achieved a lot in his life?
No, it is the story of the guy who lost all his hopes of future after spending the very first month in his college.
The first month was enough to perceive the reality of the domain I got myself let into. It was enough for someone, who didn’t even knew what programming languages are, to realize how left behind is he from the people around him.
Being from a private college which hardly anyone recognizes, expecting them to prepare me to stand out lone would be foolishness. I took my first step and started learning my very first programming language , Python.
I met some people with similar interest .We discussed, we exchanged resources, we used to talk to seniors to guide us. And yes, we were guided.
There were many bad days. Days which made me regret about starting late. Many a times I myself confirmed me as useless and some other time people did. The good thing is I never stopped , and improved myself with each day.
And now, after spending more than a year in the same college, I look at the things I have learnt. Today I can develop decent websites, can train neural networks, can make me stand in good position in coding platforms.
All you need is to take a step.I may not be the best, but I am definitely better than what I was yesterday.
If you have started something, then concentrate on finishing it.4 -
Senior manager: I cant understand how this project has taken so long?
Me: Well you hired me as a C# WPF developer and then asked me to deliver an android app without any kind of training so i had to teach myself app development and reverse engineer the undocumented protocol it needs to use to communicate with our product.
Senior manager: Ok. I get that, but it should only take around 3 months to get up to speed though right?
Me (to myself): how in the hell? New platform, self teaching, undocumented protocol for a complex low level real-time system, other responsibilities taking at least 50% of my time and i should be as productive as an outsourced app dev company in 3 months???!! FFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!3