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My wife opens a document, writes her entire paper and uses the close ❌ button to save it.
I think I married an adrenaline junkie.12 -
console.log('This website owner is a verified shit nugget. Avoid business.');
If you get a bad client, warn others! ;)12 -
Brother: Make me an Android application for my restaurant.
Me: But I have an exam tomorrow
B: So what, it will just take two hours
Me : -_-19 -
I just learned that a web application I've been developing for the last six months will only be live for three days.
I could have, if they had kept me in the loop, knocked it out in the same week.
But no.
I built it to last.
End my suffering.15 -
I AM SO FUCKING TIRED OF BUSINESS MOTHERFUCKERS USING TECHNICAL FUCKING BUZZWORDS LIKE THEY KNOW SHIT ABOUT TECH! THEY TRY TO BE FUCKING SMARTASSES AND ARGUE WITH DEVELOPERS LIKE GOD KNOWS WHY THIS FUCKING DOUCHE IS NOT THROWN IN /dev/null YET!
Ugh. He try to sound smart and argued with a unity game developer why the dev is not using "react" and "redux" in his game, purely because "since its the hype in 2016"... I was like really nigga?? FOR FUCKS SAKE Do some research before you say! Then he argued with a senior full-stack web developer on why they're using ES6 and not ES7, purely because he heard that ES7 is newer. When we try to explain we're not using decorator syntaxes since we use pure functions in our codebase, or how we haven't installed any ES7 babel plugins to transpile our code, he kept saying ES7 is newer and cooler and we must use it somehow... More to rant but i am fucking tired right now...
13 -
Got approached at a conference by some guys:
Them: "Hey we need a skilled developer for xyz... Want to join our project?"
Me: "Sure..." and before I can even ask about more details (specifically money) they say:
"We're a small startup made up of 5 (firkin FIVE) business guys so you'd be the first developer... and obviously we'd pay you with shares because we don't have any money."
Me: "... Sounds interesting... But unfortunately I'm busy."
Needless to say their "team" disbanded not even 3 months in.5 -
Right. So my company is advertising an opening in Java JUNIOR Development.... And they all of these skills:
I mean, really?
14 -
Business: How long will it take to add that feature to the legacy system?
Programmer: When will the new system be implemented?
Business: 6 months
Programmer: The new feature will take 7 months3 -
Co-worker: I need a proxy to do this task.
Me: Why do you need a proxy?
Co-worker: So all these reviews for the company I'm posting don't look sketchy.
Me: Download the TOR browser.
Co-worker: That's kinda sketchy I don't wanna do that.
So falsifying information about the company is okay, but using a browser to do it anonymously is right out.1 -
Business logic in the fricking database.
1000+ line SQL stored procedures.
What the actual fuck?! 👿10 -
I kid you not, this was in some of our official corporate training.
Unfortunately, this often is how our business area "functions"
5 -
The story of Netscape and Internet Explorer really proves the irony of fate! And how life will come back to bite you.
Back in the 90's you had to pay for browsers like Netscape (it was called a navigator but same thing) but after Microsoft released IE for free with your windows copy in 2002 it crushed Netscape and nobody used it anymore (the graph below).
But! Netscape wouldn't give up and before the company died after it made legal accusations against Microsoft and Bill Gates and made them pay for that they did, but Netscape was too far gone and already were falling apart they decided to make a self detonation (I guess that's what they thought being in that tight corner) and they released the code as open source which would later get taken by Mozilla and be the code base for Firefox.
Now look at how much better Firefox is and how nobody uses the shitty IE!
Kind of reminds me of the scene from watchmen where Rorshack was in prison and said the best sentence in the movie "I'm not locked in here with you. You're locked in here WITH ME!"
21 -
1) Starts a company that builds cloud systems
2) Takes a bunch of jobs and thought you'll be happy for a while
3) IoT era smashes in your face
4) 72% of your existing clients ask for IoT revamp
5) With a lot of hacking you made a small portion of the projects possible with some Raspberry Pis
6) Client bought a bunch of arbitrary parts from Shenzhen and now you have to deal with kernel overlays and shits that you didn't even heard of
7) Made it work for the second time and told yourself it'll never happen again
8) Last customer happy so they tell a bunch of friends and now they're asking for more
9) Stares into void, wondering how you gonna end this nightmare5 -
I love companies that only use titles like 'Analyst'. Then, they can make you work as a developer, business analyst, tester, help desk, or project manager and there's no way you can ask for a raise or promotion5
-
I think one difficult thing about being a developer is having all your business friends tell you they have this idea that would make millions but you have to build a prototype (for free) for them to pitch. They don't seem to understand that this is a full time job.12
-
Me setting the password: a$:&(7ShtkA71?!/&2SJ
Oracle business suite: password must not contain repeating characters4 -
Received my new mechanical keyboard from Amazon today. It feels so much better than our standard company Dell keyboard. And it looks so great. Also it has nice LEDs with several modes. Love it
14 -
“We want to make a marketplace”
“We need an ordering system”
“We need the system so that our partners (company that sells the products) can easily plug and play into our system”
Soo, have you any idea on how the flow should be?
[our current app]
|
[the thing you will build]
|
[...]
|
[partner’s web app]
Eehh, what’s the [...] ?
“Dunno, whatever it is, people obviously, to monitor and manage the orders”
Aand why do we need people in there?
“Because our partners doesn’t have any APIs that we can use”
*intense discussion
I’ll try to get this straight,
You guys want to make a marketplace, but the partners’ system doesn’t support what you want and doesn’t have any APIs we can use, so we make some kind of admin system, that “someone” will use and manage it,
So when a user put an order from our app, it will show in the admin interface, then “someone” will manually direct the order to the partners’ system, and manually update it including tracking the whole transaction?
“Yep, exactly”
🐒
I can’t explain it better, but basically the last paragraph sums it up, am I an idiot for assuming that these guys are idiots?
11 -
Why the fuck would iTunes or any product from Apple (or anywhere) care what Outlook is doing or if it's even there?!?
I have no settings, add-ons, mods, apps, or anything that would justify this!
And it came TWICE in a single update installation!!!
11 -
Building a business can hamper one's development urges!
I have been building stuff since 2008. Took my first job in 2012, won a hackathon at Yahoo right after that. Got an amazing team to work with! Our team converted the hacked product into a proper product using Django and AngularJS. Those were the fun days. At that time AngularJS had just come out and I was under the dilemma to use Angular, Ember or backbone. But with all this came the responsibility to build a business out of our product. It didn't happen eventually though.
So I moved on to cure my entrepreneural itch and went on to start up an e-commerce startup along with my day job. It started getting good traction and I finally left my day job to focus completely on it. It's a sticker marketplace and I had to focus a lot on the actual physical product, improve the quality, tackle business development and stuff etc. In all this, my habit of creating stuff with code kind of got the back seat. Everyday, I see such exciting technologies come up and I want to try them out. I have been itching to create a native app using react native. Try to build a skill for Amazon Alexa.
On one side I am happy that I have been able to build a brand and become the largest sticker marketplace in India providing super awesome reusable stickers, but on the other hand, managing the business on a daily basis is killing the developer in me :(
Does anyone else building a business which involves a physical product also face a similar problem? I think I should just take up weekend hackathon type problems and try to solve them using the technologies I want to learn. Example, I have been meaning to build an app for our company. I think I will start with that!
I have been following devRant for quite sometime now and it has been awesome. Finally, signed up and ranted today! 😊😊5 -
I am officially hired as an Associate Business Analyst ! I made an internship as an Analyst Developper and the company enjoyed my work so they ask me if I wanted to join the team ! 🎉6
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TL; DR: please save me from IT hell
Note 1: this is a rant that comes after a couple other rants I'm going to call "family business saga" from now on because I feel like this is gonna go on for a while
Note 2: the following may look exaggerated but it's because of how pissed off I am at said person
So I have to help this one family member with his computer but he's worned me out so much last summer that I can't stand him (it's all tech based). At all. Both in person and via text calls. I dread and become pissy each time he's nearby, just his presence makes me want to jump in a hole and stay there for eternity.
And he's not the smartest cookie in the jar when it comes to tech, so he comes to me for help (instead of going to my brother. Aaagh why doesn't he go for my brother as well, it's mentally tiring having to "help" him - as he doesn't learn what I'm trying to teach him even after several attempts). I don't really mind being sought for help when it comes to tech, but this guy takes it one step further.
He entered my room with his computer in his hands saying this friend of his has installed W7 on his PC (why didn't he handle all the things he wants to do, it would save me a lot of anger containment) and that I *had* (it's always "YOU HAVE" because I'm a tech-ish person and I'm in uni for CS) to help him do a bunch of things.
So he boots up the thing and there are 32 updates to do, so I'm guessing that he didn't boot it up after the OS update until now. He leaves my room and I sigh out of relief. He comes back with the AC remote complaining it's too hot in my room and that he's gonna put it down a degree or 2. Jesus christ do not tamper with my AC settings, it's fine to me. The updates are still going on. He leaves again.
The computer takes its time to update and so does he. I'm happily playing minecraft when he comes back, the computer off after updating. He looks at it and says "why is it off?". I reply back "it finished updating.", trying to keep my cool. Even the most simple questions are irritation inducing.
He reboots it and lets it run. After it boots and it's ready to go he just stays there for like 2' without doing anything because the hard drive light was going off. I think he thinks the computer is going to explode if he touches it while the light is blinking 😬
He goes to connect the computer to the internet and gets all surprised that the computer doesn't recognize our home's internet (he has been here before with his computer, I guess, so he had connected, so I think he was expecting it to auto connect like that). I tell him that the computer doesn't recognize our home's connection because it has had a fresh OS installation and so it didn't have any connection registered. He types in the password and the connection is established.
He them starts going on about that he wants to get these pics on the business' website and how does he put them in his computer and all that. I do that for him and he's all like "how did you do that?? 😮" like it's a magic trick
And he's always going on at everything as if it's all a big undoable thing. "How do I do this? You know what, do it yourself and show me because I don't wanna fail". Dude. Bro. Everything - EVERYTHING - you are afraid of doing is undoable. EVERYTHING. Good christ.
I swear I've never felt so glad I'm going back for uni next week9 -
After completing my sprint and some lingering stuff in the backlog
Me: Hey, there's this tiny feature people have really requested, I'll go build it since I got nothing else to do at the moment. It'll only take like 1h
PO: Hmm ok. Don't work on that yet, we need to check with business people and agree on the user stories and bla bla bla
Me: Ok, well there's these bugs I can take care of then, I'll get them fixed, won't be long.
PO: Hmmm, we need to measure the impact first. Let me get back to you on that a bit later
Me: Meh, oh. I'll refactor this bad component meanwhile then.
PO: Have you created a story for that in JIRA? Create the story first and then we'll groom it and take it in when we've time
Me in my head: Dafuq! Im trying to work on your fucking project but you keep throwing all that business bueraucracy shit at me. What am I supposed to do then? Sip coffee in the kitchen and talk about the other fucking billion failed "new business opportunities" with my peers? Fuck this circle jerk of a billion management people all trying to make themselves important. Nothing. Ever. Gets. Fucking. Done!!!
Me: Ah right, I'll do that *proceeds to the water cooler*5 -
!dev
Sucks how the society pressures people into to stupid, irrational shit.
For the last time, I DO NOT WANT TO HOP THE BANDWAGON.
while(1) {
head.bang(table);
}27 -
Wtf I'm in the middle of debugging and win10 is rebooting for an update!!! How are they still in business?10
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Business ppl asks for program to be created.
Business ppl send out 5 one hour meeting invites for the week.
Boss puts me in 5 day training for 7 hours a day.
Business ppl tired of me saying I've had no time to develop their stuff.
Boss asks why I haven't made progress on business ppl program.
Trainer upset I'm doing business ppl program instead of the training.
We can't win.2 -
Want to make some friends quickly?
Just go to any pseudo startup incubator in a university (all business people with an idea), mention you are a coder (mimicking the typing on a keyboard to make sure they understand) and all of the sudden you'll have a crowd of people around you that "need to talk to you"
The other guys working with me have to physically protect me every time someone finds out1 -
So I was preparing for my project assessment at school when some business guy walks up to me asking if we were students here and if we were interested in doing "internet things" for his new business..3
-
I got in an argument with a co worker, she says that mass surveillance programs are "none of my business" and I shouldn't care how they operate.
ACTUALLY, ACCORDING TO GOOGLE IT IS MY BUSINESS.
2 -
I quit my job at a startup because the business guys did not respect my advices in business strategy.
just saw the job post for my position where they write:
"experience with MySQL databases (for example redis and git)"
Now I know that I was wrong. These guys seems to have informations that I do not have 😎2 -
How can business majors be so gullible?! Who the fuck poisoned their minds with the app hype ?!!
Seriously my tears are 90% from laughter and 10% shame for humanity.
Friend: "Dude I'd like to consult with you the idea of an app...etc"
Me: "Sounds nice, got a business plan?"
Friend: "Yes, but well...you see... development has already started"
Me: "oh cool, how's that going?"
Friend: "well I already made an upfront payment of 2K dollars"
Me: "sounds kind of excessive for the amount of work...wait did you said upfront payment?"
Friend: "yeah, we calculated 30k total"
😐
Me:"umm...that software must be...special...? Can I see it?"
Friend: "that's the thing, they haven't delivered"
Me: " did they give you mockups? A development plan? Demo? Anything?"
Friend: "umm no"
Me: "a god damn receipt?"
Friend shows me a piece of paper with the name of the guy and 2K written on it.
Friend: "he says he's been busy, I wanted your advice"
I blame Eduardo Saverin's fate and my friend's on college's failure to teach "real world assholes 101"
6 -
Hackathon rant.
So I had my first hackathon ever.
It was about co2 reduction which is pretty neat but our team leader had a different view on this. He only saw money in his idea so we build a smart energy meter that advised the user on how he should control his energy. And if the user had solarpanels or something his overtake of energy would be converted into a crypto currency and transferred by our Blockchain system.
The idea is pretty cool but it had no real co2 reduction and way too customer based. Which kinda sucked for my first hackathon but our business guy gave a amazing overwhelming pitch about stuff we didn't make at all. And somehow we ended up on the third place yay
4 -
Google is being evil.
More Than 600 Google Employees Are Demanding an End to Project Dragonfly
https://gizmodo.com/more-than-600-g...13 -
My boss is a developer who didn't use github or svn, and he's a millionaire. I'm jealous because he use jquery and still able to make tons of money.7
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You know how I know DevRant is full of real devs? Your spelling and grammar is absolutely atrocious. Seriously, you've got autocorrect, just use it.19
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Saw a rant against "startup idea guys" and it got me thinking. A few years ago, I knew a guy. Business major, terrible at everything, but his daddy is getting him a job at a big 4 accounting firm with referrals from his frat brothers. I collect vintage watches (gotta have a hobby that isn't Netflix and anxiety,) and I figured I should make a small website, display my stuff and write a bit. He gets on board, talking about how it's gonna be the next big thing. It's not, because the market is very saturated, I mainly sell on forums and tbh just wanted to write and dick around on Wordpress. I buy our entire inventory, he blows the cash he was fronting on booze, says I "lack networking capabilities," and quits. His LinkedIn lists him as the former CEO of MY company which wasn't even incorporated enough for me to get it a business PayPal, and he is now working on a tech startup that... Wait for it... Is a social network and online marketplace for Ivy League students. I shit you not. He told me it's the "first of its kind." I signed up for lulz, and the verification email directed me to his backend directory with client logins and details in plain text 😂😂😂😂2
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So I Bought this bio metric pad lock for my daughter. She excitedly tried to set it up without following the directions( they actually have good directions on line) first thing you do is set the "master print" she buggered that up setting her print. So when I got home I was thinking, no problem I'll just do a reset and then we cant start again.
NOPE !!! you only have one chance to set the master print! after that if you want to reset the thing you need to use the master print along with a physical key that comes with it.
What sort if Moron designs hardware / software that is unable to be reset. Imagine how much fun it would be if once you set your router admin password it was permanent unless you can long back in to change it. Yea nobody has ever forgotten a password.
Well they are about to learn a valuable financial lesson about how user friendly design will influence your bottom line. people (me) will just return the lock to the store where they bought it, and it will have to be shipped back to the factory and will be very expensive for them paying for all of the shipping to and from and resetting and repackaging of the locks and finally shipping again to another store. Meanwhile I'll keep getting new locks until at no cost until she gets it right.
poor design
36 -
My family thinks than I can do Uber (eats), Facebook and WhatsApp but better. And than I'm lazy because I don't build those "obvious" business opportunities.
BTW I'm mostly web dev, sometimes mobile dev on a small company.4 -
“Your idea is not valuable, at all. All value is in the execution. You think you are an exception; you are not. You should not insist on an NDA to talk about it; nobody serious will engage in contract review over an idea, and this will mark you as clueless.” Patrick McKenzie6
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FUCK YOU BUSINESS GUY
FUCK YOUR SCOPE CREEP
SOLO DEV AINT GIVING U 20 FEATURES IN ONE MOTHERFUCKING WEEK
Seriously, though. Being a solo full-stackq developer who can do both frontend (react, redux) and backend (feathers, node) does NOT mean you have twice the manpower to accomplish all of your shitty shit. Just because you have an idea does NOT mean I have to implement all of it. You don't even have a motherfucking specifications for me, yet you expect me to deliver shitloads of complete fucking feature in a fucking week. This is not a fucking joke. I am NOT your mother fucking tool. I need time to build my stack, design and perfect the interface. I don't want a shitty motherfucking product on my fucking portfolio.
*dies inside*
11 -
Argh,
Today - you son of a bitch.
It all started with a 2 hour flight out of town for business, and I mean started as in I needed to be at the airport at 4:30am!
Despite 2 coffee's to get me out of bed I proceeded to indulge myself in the magic juice, 3 cups later and it felt like my heart belonged in a Grand Prix.
Now here is the sticky part, we where briefed that we would only be doing 2 site meetings and that was it.
Low and be hold it got worse, turns out that we would be pitching our product to 3 highly regarded CEO's, now bare in mind that my position on this trip is as the lead developer, and don't get me wrong I am well up to date on every aspect of the business, hence why they sent me.
So more coffee down the gullet, and eventually the conversation leads back to a project that I had developed to allow authorization of debit orders online, now usually I'm quite a well presented person in these types of situations, but you don't realize how quick this can change.
A quick jump to the geography of the location I was doing business. Johannesburg, South Africa - its as dry as hell, smoggy and at a very higher altitude "as in above sea level".
Now unfortunately none of the above factors where helping me much at all.
Now back to where I am being asked about my project, and never in my life have I tripped over my own words, I went completely blank, I'm surprised I didn't pass out to be honest.
Now despite the death stare and my colleague kicking me under the table, I am feeling pretty terrible, fortunately I had a kick ass team that was able to cover my ass!
Luckily I was able to recover ( 2 muffins and about 3 bottles of water later). We where able to salvage the meeting and it turned out pretty well, I regained my energy and we made it happen!
Must say the flight back was amazing! Almost empty and we all had a row of seats to ourselves, which resulted in some major comfort stretching!
Thanks for tolerating my essay, I'd love to hear if anyone has had anything of the sorts happen to them.
2 -
Meets a family member****
Fam.Member: Hey so what do you do now?
Me: I work with a tech company
Fam.Member: Nice. As what?
Me: Software Engineer
Fam.Member: oh IT stuff. Can you check my phone for me, it's slow now.
Me: No (then walks away sipping my drink)7 -
!rant
TLDR; Lost passion after a few years, wasted a year, went on vacation without really any technology, found my passion and am excited as hell for 2019.
After programming for nearly 5 years, I’ve hit the point of not wanting to program anymore. I’ve burnt myself out, and haven’t had a vacation in 8+ years so we’ve finally decided to take one. I’m not going to say it’s a full blown vacation, but a semi-vacation since it’s with my parents also so I do have to do a few things I’d prefer not to such as meeting relatives.
I didn’t have the motivation to work on any new projects, finish any projects I actually enjoyed, I just did a few side projects for friends that took me anywhere from 5 minutes to 30 minutes every few weeks. In general this year has been garbage in development terms, I’ve lost passion. It felt like a chore, I didn’t find the entertainment I once did.
I’ve been away from technology for about 2 weeks now, and have less than a week left before I fly back and I’m excited as hell. During this break away from technology (with the exception of browsing devRant once in a while), has me excited to work on many projects and actually start learning and improving my skills. I’ve actually gained the motivation to work on 2 projects that have been planned for nearly 2 years now, I’ve noted down ideas for them, made diagrams, etc, just never had the passion to develop them. 2019 is going to be one hell of a year, since I get back almost at the end of November, and December I have a few business meetings and University exams that I have to prepare for. Excited to see these projects through, one is going to be for the hell of it, just been a passion project I’ve wanted to do for years now. The other project is actually a project for one of my sub-companies that hasn’t officially released since I didn’t have the passion to work on it. (Not going to go into full detail yet about the companies/projects, going to save that for the future)
Alongside that, I’m excited since my main company that is totally unrelated to technology, is set to do some massive moves during 2019 also. Looking forward to that, and being able to launch my dream company (the sub-company I mentioned before).
Time for sleep now, goodnight! (Wrote this after a few drinks and in the middle of the night, hopefully it’s not full blown garbage)2 -
Going to create a couple of cron jobs that delete stuff from database.
What could possibly go wrong? ;)6 -
Online applications are so much worse than the classic snail mail ones, because some companies just don't seem to give a single fuck about the quality of their application application (hehe).
This results in such joyous things like:
• "Allowed file types: doc, docx, pdf, jpg, zip"
• "Max filesize 3mb"
• "One of your files does not meet the requirements" (doesn't tell you which)
• "Upload timed out, please try again"
• 403 forbidden
• "Your account does not have the necessary permissions to upload more than 4 files at once"
• clicking the submit button leads to a 404
• "Please explain why you want to work for us." 500 character limit
• Google forms2 -
Why would someone hire you to build a website, constantly say that you don’t know business, never give you anything you ask for, berate you for asking questions about what they want the website to be like, “that’s your job”, all while expecting under $500? Because they’re stupid, that’s why. Oh also, they now want an app instead of a website because their generic-ass domain name was taken already. Fffffffffff8
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TLDR: Don't ask for free support a year after I redesign your site.
Background: Last year I got ask to redesign a non-profit website, they say they had a set budget (note to future self: If someone has a set budget than walk away). I redesigned their (and got it done 5 weeks early). Their happy and only ask for support once.
2018 comes around and someone from the non-profit (a different person since I guess they changes volunteers every year) calls me and basically asks for help on how to change something on the site, I decide to be nice and tell them how to do it, then they contact me a week later with a different question and I decide to just give them the answer (while offering a monthly support contract).
Sometimes I'm just too nice but I guess if you own the business you have to be nice to everyone.3 -
Got a few Jira tickets reassigned to me because the dev who was supposed to work on them got stuck on another project. It's fine, that happens.
I open the tickets. No descriptions for all of them. No screenshots for those reported as bugs, nor any replication steps. No attached test cases or, well, ANY useful information.
I talk to our BA, he says that all information I need are in OTHER tickets on ANOTHER BOARD that business manages but I DON'T HAVE ACCESS TO. Honestly, these shitfucks could've just done simple copy/paste. But nooooo...
So I reassign all the tickets back to their original reporters (business testers) with comments requesting more information.
It's been a week. Now I have no idea what to put in my time sheet.1 -
Imagine yourself being a CTO back then.
Brand new Acura NSX. No MacBooks, ThinkPads are hot. Your company has its own skyscraper. CASE tools are just introduced and they’re hotter than blockchain now. You do software architecture in IBM Rational Rose, typing on your Model M and thinking really hard about Java OOP which is very hot right now.
You have Erlang servers at your own data center. You laugh at people writing in COBOL. You excited about aspect-oriented programming.
What a wonderful time.3 -
FUCKING google doesn't allow our country to buy FUCKING partner or reseller program.
So what the fuck do we do as an agency, we have to fucking treat every domain and google business suites as seperate entities.
WHAT THE FUCK IS THE SHIT WITH THAT?
WE HAVE TO FUCKING KNOW THEIR ADMIN PASSWORD TO FUCKING MANAGE THEIR GOOGLE SUITE ACCOUNTS.
IT IS A FUCKING NIGHTMARE.
I HATE GOOGLE FOR THAT REASON ALONE.
I can care less of how much data you gonna steal from me.4 -
Business opportunity geared towards remote developers: a coffee shop that turns into a bar at 5pm. Instant customer conversion.7
-
OneDrive: where we duplicate your files instead of synchronizing them correctly because fuck that.5
-
Have any one used Skype for business, It seems to me it has down syndrome.
They cant just make a simple think work.21 -
Effective working days are only 4 days left before everyone left for holiday,
Sprint zero has started though most of the people also has started their holiday leave,
Got a mandate to conduct a sharing session for some developers who was pressured by their manager to join, has never touched any javascript and has to be proficient in React Native within 3 days of workshop before year’s end,
To put it simply, everyone are already in holiday mood and unmotivated as fuck, how the fuck am I supposed to conduct a useful training while being pressured to set up everything for a project that is still unclear as whether we’re gonna go through with it or not,
Fucking “do first think later” mentality,
2 -
My CEO uncle: "anyone can program."
A quote from when we were discussing strategy for my sit down with the CEO of a company I was applying at (FYI, his advice was to research the company, be familiar with their long term strategies and such). I get that there's no need to prove my technical prowess to a business exec, but it isn't because "anyone can program."
I mean, sure, in a philosophical sense, anybody has the capacity to learn. But developers aren't a fungible asset. Treating them as such leads to ruin.3 -
//rant
So I'm a BI consultant, been doing this for about 6 years now, and I'm pretty good at the data stuffs. Now I had to complete a project for a client where we call a web service and it had to be done in .NET. I wrote a console app in C# that called the WS, dumped the data then a stored proc processed the staging tables into final tables that our visualization tool can consume.
It works, it's done.
Mind you I'm not a pure .NET developer.
And now that it's completed and working this fucking .NET dude that works for my client is basically giving me an attitude talking about "why wasn't it done as a Windows service? Blah, blah" Like WTF!!??? I get that he's the C# BSD but like chill bruh!!
It's annoying as fuck having to work on projects that are not your area of EXPERTISE and then be ridiculed by other elitist assholes about it.
Doesn't happen much, but fuck it's something I hate about dev. FYI, if it was the opposite I would just be asking questions for understanding, not being a sarcastic prick.
//rant done5 -
Why do most people think that machine learning is the answer to their poor business decisions. I have recently had a client who won't stop talking about how his business will grow to Google's scale if I get the model to 97% accuracy . Regardless to say his data is noisy and unstructured. I have tried to explain to him that data cleansing is more important and will take most of the time but he only seems to care about the accuracy and how he is losing investors because I haven't reached that accuracy. This is fucking putting alot of pressure on me and it's not becoming fun anymore. I can only hope he achieves his ambitions if I ever get that accuracy (Ps: From the research papers I have read on that problem, the highest accuracy a model has ever got to it 90%)3
-
My business partners: "it's so fucking cloud!!" Whenever I do something remotely "techy"... so cringeworthy2
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Stopping a heavily used script in production, because management wanted a print statement to include a period at the end.
-
Starting my first business in my life at 19. I'm so excited, but also so afraid right now. So many thoughts in my head.10
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I didnt thought I have to write this down, but you people dont get standard business logic, so here advice from someone who knows that shit:
- If you wanna get paid, make your own contract and let a lawyer look over it.
- always have a lawyer on retainer and enough money for him/her.
- nothing is real without a signature.
- your clients should know that you're gonna sue them if they don't pay.
- don't go easy on anyone, here an easy way to decide if you should sue:
Didnt pay? Sue.
Breaks contract? Sue
Asks for later payment? Dont
- always code in a killswitch, trust me you're gonna need it.8 -
I'm writing a book that teaches everything I have learned in the past 20 years about writing small niche software and selling it.
Need some help from my fellow DevRanters.
Anyone who comments here with something constructive gets a free copy when it's done.
When I say:
"Why don't you just write your own software and sell it to end users"
What is the first thing that pops into your head?
Is it "I don't know how to advertise"
or
"that's a pipe dream"
or
"I tried starting my own business, but _______"
or
"I am doing that, i have this side project "
(how long have you spent on that side project?)
I need to know all your concerns questions fears, skepticism etc around the idea of writing your OWN software.
After 20 years I have like, so much knowledge, but it's sometimes hard to get it all out, UNLESS someone has a question or concern, then, out it comes.
So, I'm going to (hopefully) collect all the questions here ... and answer them, and it'll help me out a lot to extract this knowledge.
A lot of stuff I do without even thinking and realizing all the years it took to even know that.
What would you like to know the most?
You have the skills, you have the know how, you can probably see it in your head, so what's stopping you from making the leap?36 -
"Hey business, we've done some style changes in a new test evnvironent, can you check to see everything looks fine?"
"Page Y (which you've never heard of before) looks terrible!"
"It does! Sorry" - go check the page on the other test environment.
That's just what it looks like.1 -
(in a meeting between o&m team and business partners to assign priorities to various tasks)
I.T.: So what priority would you put this new task?
Business : it's our 1.
I.T.: ok, and this other one?
B: it's a 1.
I.T.: ... -
Ranting about the guy on DevRant.
Business Guy asks me what app I'm using.
Open Midget Porn instead.
If he found out, I'm fucked.4 -
Today some random highschool guy who i barely knew tried to convince me to build for him his "billion dollar" social app while he handles the business side. I burnt that crap with eternal holy fire before he even finished that sentence!1
-
I can't help but wonder if business folks have a ranting platform where they curse developers and biz partners. Any takers for bizrant.io? 😁4
-
That one client who feels entitled to immediate feedback and response from you, yet they're not paying you on retainer and know good and well that you have other clients. Then they get condescending in their emails and cop an attitude when you (nicely I might add) advise them to find another developer if they want people to micro manage.
Yeah, I just fired that client. Not dealing with this anymore. Good thing about being a contractor is that you have the freedom to walk and have a backup plan. And if they try to come back, I'm hiking the rates if I even take them back at all.
😎✌️ -
After the end of Sprint, well, the QA people came up with this defect ( mind it 'defect' ) : "The exclamation mark is not very red" [ sic ]
Cancer died a death that moment. -
/**
Fresh university graduate.
Looks for positions to apply to.
Refines search to "Entry-level".
All minimum qualifications: 5-10 years industry
experience.
Cries.
**/7 -
I'm thinking of starting a service of creating WordPress sites for people.
But there are like 1928372829+ companies doing that.
Am I late to the party?9 -
!rant
"If you want to find the secrets of the universe, think in terms of energy, frequency and vibration."
Nikola Tesla
If you want to understand your business, think in terms of customers, problems, and solutions.6 -
So my dad calls me because my uncle is freaking out about how a client messaged him and he doesn't know how to check if he can do what them asked him to. I tour them around the website he's using (as he understands little to none of it, and my dad doesn't use the site regularly so he's not versed into it as well) as to where they're supposed to look and they go check this one tab. In it, there's info of what is sold out in what day. And for each day it says "day x - y sold out" and he asks me what day it is that y things are sold out, and that it is confusing, and I'm like "are you serious it's right there". Goddamn it this guy sometimes
-
Are junior developers expected to make business logic decisions? There's one that my boss wants to know my opinion of, and I'm thinking, "fuck, I don't know, why should I make that decision?" Or is that part of what developers have to learn?9
-
!rant
How to earn a lot of money as a programmer?
So this question might sound a little naive and too simple, but earning a lot of money is what we all want after all right? Collecting experiences from people in the business should be a good idea.
So this is the position I am in:
I am a German student in my 13th year of school (which means I will graduate this summer) and I am very interested in information technology. I know C++ pretty well by now and I have built a rendering engine for a game I want to make using openGL already, which I am very proud of.
I would love to turn this passion into my profession and thats why I plan to attend a dual course of computer science next year (dual means that I will be employed at a company (or similar) in parallel to the studying course).
But what direction should I be going in if I want to make big money later on? I am ready to spend a lot of time and work on this life project but I don't know which directions are the most promising. I hate being a tiny gear in a huge machine that just has to keep spinning to keep the machine alive, I want to be part of a real project (like most people probably) and possibly sell a product (because I think that is how you really make money).
Now I know there is no magic answer to this, but I bet many people here have made experiences they can share and this could help a lot of people directing their path in a more success oriented way.
I personally am especially interested in fields which are relatively low-level and close to memory (C++), go hand in hand with physics and 3D simulation and are somewhat creative and allow new solutions. (These are no hard lines, I just thought I should give a little direction to what I know already and what I am interested in)
But really, I am interested in any work you are likely to earn a lot of money with.16 -
"Someone studied rich people for years and this is the five habits you should start having"
FFS, if I read this headline one more time...5 -
The more I try to sort my life, the more complicated it get.
Though most of things are second world problems but at this point of time, my life depends upon those things and decisions I made around them. -
Sudden changes in requirements. Business now wants a switch for this whole fucking project. They knew this fucking months ago and decided to tell us now. What the frikkity truck I just can't even2
-
I now that this can be a sort of business, but why Avast will suggest an abonnement where you pay more at the end?
Abbonamento = Abonnement
Anno = Year
Mese = Month
Consigliato = Recommended
15 -
Business idea:
- Buy some big old computer.
- Sell them as quantum computer.
- Get cash and run away.
Currently this idea may work. 🤔3 -
I HATE the idea of only releasing on pre-determined schedules despite work being completed and just waiting for that day to arrive.
I'm a co-founder of a small software company. We have partnered with another particular company that also writes software. Some of our clients have access to paid content of that company's services through our application.
Every once in a while, our clients will report issues with that company's service to us, because they access it through our application. They think it's our issue.
We then pass the report on to the partner company, telling them that their stuff is broken. Their reply goes like this:
"Ok. We'll get the bug fix scheduled, and we'll release it next Thursday."
"Next Thursday? The issue is now, they can't use the service."
"That's our scheduled release date."
O.M.G.
We voluntarily walked away from our safe, cushy jobs working for other people, taking enormous pay cuts to start this company. Now, we're 6+ years in, disrupting established fat-and-happy competitors in this space. I GUARANTEE you that if we had that same attitude, we would have been absolutely obliterated early on.
We are quick. Guided by kanban boards, our suite of unit tests and integration tests is vast and kick-ass. With continuous integration and the click of a button we know if we broke something or if the piece we're working on is ready to be pushed to production, IMMEDIATELY. Our "release schedule" is when the damn thing is complete.
It isn't all bad. Our integration with them has been beneficial for both of us. I just loathe their snail's pace which negatively affects our mutual customers. It can make us look bad, and we can do nothing about it.
Blah.3 -
We had a floor meet early morning, regarding some business advancements and new "business framework" in our company.
Guess who took a sick leave.
PS : Apparently tech is not the only field with buzzwords.
PPS : Floor meets? Early morning? Why? -
Best conversation with non tech roommate ever:
Me: hey roomie, implement an algorithm to determine if a string has all unique characters
Roommate: like a string of code or a string of yarn?2 -
!rant
When smaller web sweatshops try to under-quote to get your client to jump ship.
Boy, oh boy! They are in for a nasty surprise. Good luck fellas!3 -
Feedback from an interview the other day, technically you are top of the candidates but you aren't as business friendly!
Wtf is business friendly?
I'm through to final stage with one other who is more business friendly.
Any possible ideas what business friendly is?11 -
Cognizant ( A software giant in India)
Interviewer: What does your father do?
Applicant: Business
Interviewer: What business?
Applicant: Jewellery!
Interviewer: Nice. We'll let you know. Thank you. -
Am I the only one who gets intimidated when shit its roof?
Yesterday, during crucial business hours, one of the major OMS db column type got overflowed. Caused around 30 mins downtime and then later, pool of all connections with high concurrent requests flushed down stream which caused thunder herd.
One by one.. all services went down; Fucking java service couldn't even start because of load..
This is the moment I fell in love with GoLang. We shard request using GoLang service, it just started and picked up the load beautifully..
At the end, it is around 6 millions business loss, but a good lesson learned :) -
Please share the weirdest business logic you had to implement!
I remember having to filter certain categories and specific movies based on ID that were.. Well.. German porn.. Hardcoded Ids, not proud2 -
Why doesn't Skype of business have an application for Linux? Every company meeting where a developer isn't involved is run on sfb. Being on Ubuntu it is hard to attend any such meeting. Any meeting between developers is on zoom so we're good.
We can't really convince every one (other than developers) to start using zoom.
Do we have any other alternatives? Is this a lost cause?20 -
Tomorrow I have my colloquium (the final examination) of my bachelor's degree in Business Informatics. Wish my luck.3
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When I asked the client if they have an existing API with xml or json, they said that they will send me Excel xlsx per email.3
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Has anybody ever worked with a shady company where you don't even know the company structure? Like CEO and administration?8
-
It’s amazing when people come in for an interview and say, ‘Can you tell me about your business?’ Seriously, people. There’s an Internet. Look it up.6
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So the story is true and this is what we have to deal with now..
My friend and I started to build a Web Application for a Roleplay Community. The project was for a client mainly and they don't mind if we try to sell this project to the public. All goes well except the shitty design, which is the one our client asked for. So after 6 months of work we planned to switch our backend to Nodejs, the switch look quite easy in our brains [PHP => NODEJS] because we already use Nodejs for instant functions without reloading the page.
So during the planning we earn a client which is one of the member of the clan, but he pay for another clan which is 6x bigger then the one we're in. So we continue to develop and think about the switch. We learn a news about a new competitor, this one sucks, we tried their App and it's not worth the money they ask. A few days after another competitor enter the market, this one is a big challenge for us. "Sit down tight, yea you reading this"..
The competitor use BUBBLE to create their shit, they earned 10 clients in one week and just punch us with "THE ROCK" hand, they release a lot of feature each week, they're 6 devs on that (if we can call them devs), we're 2 programmers (True Programmers). What we do in 1 week they do it in 5 hours with Bubble, the switching to Nodejs was a badluck, you couldn't add feature because of this switch during 2 weeks, this made us later and second in the race. My friend (at the same time my employee and back-end programmer) move into another appartment which obligate him to work full-time. At this time I'm f****, I'm only a Front-End Programmer vs 6 Wannabe Devs with a mother**** tool of *** (#Bubble).
This is where I am, in this beautiful opportunity to win this market but with this bad luck occuring = the opportunity is low, but our advantage is we don't have made our project public yet so they're the only good option for the communities to get that kind of web app, the others are not included and only a copy of this (Their Product) or just a big junk made with Wix.
At this time I'm working hard to make this opportunity happen, I have my math which I have to finish to have my High School diploma to do, a part-time job to get if I want to stay with an internet connection and finally I have to find a way to still be able to make my dream come true (Working on my Business at full time & Make money from it) and continue to be a Front-End Programmer/CEO of an enterprise.4 -
Employment first while building your future business on the side. Business in the future. Passive and residual income is the key.
2 -
Bachelor of software engineering, master of business administration = executive level job at large software companies.
It's pretty simple actually..,1 -
Update on my boss: higher discussion rate in the projects slack channel = higher productivity to him. We could be sitting around discussing this and that of its details over slack while putting down a 6 pack and he would feel more confident at the end of the day then if we were actually working. Having a boss that runs the entire business off emotion is incredibly exhausting5
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Needed money for my company, not enough clients to support business on SaaS alone. Took on a 5k / month job building a platform that competes with my SaaS (more niche, less generic). Also sign up new client who that company's owner is part owner onto my current SaaS. Win / Win?
I do a lot of custom work to my platform to fulfill their needs, which is why I ran out of time for the 5k / mo project. I did these customization for free. Losing money to keep client, but also improving my system.
Work gets busy, I need to drop the 5k project. Client is upset I am working more on his other company (he is not majority owner). I return 1 month of funds to the owner and say I cannot continue.
Owner threatens to make other company that he is part owner stop working with my software if I do not complete project. Blacklisting...great. I agree to work with an overseas developer to do it and PM it for 3 months at least. Making nearly nothing from it (now 1k / month for PM), working nights to deal with India, losing sleep...
Other company suddenly folds due to conflict of egos with that SAME owner. Users drop from 16 to 1. I drop the project, no more strong arming me. Everything is a loss, all effort and money lost for nothing. Bad bet..however...
Owner becomes 100% owner of the other company, and of the software company. I transition him to PM his own project, he still uses my software because It doesn't, nor will it, ever do what the one he is building does. Also, partners from previous company break off and use my software again. New Client. #profit.
But holy hell was it stressful in the interim. People's business tactics are disgusting. Stay calm, play it neutral. Win. Sometimes you have to do what you don't want to do in order to succeed...at least for a little bit.
I was so scared that how he screwed his partners he would screw me over as well if I built one of the modules I have planned for my System, but haven't done yet.
If I did it for him first and then built my own (totally diff codebase) I really didn't want to run into any legal issues considering the schematics he has now are mine, but I didn't finish that part of the system for him. He is obivously highly competitive. Even though he wanted me to, and still does, want me to run his company for him.
Who knows, maybe in the future. To be CTO / COO of two SaaS CRM's in the same space may make sense. But I will never sell my software to him or partner with him. Too much drama. Avoid the drama. Be careful out there fellas.
If you are a creator, people will take advantage of you in every way imaginable. Read the fine print, read the people, document everything. Don't put yourself at risk. -
Recently started reading about how businesses startup and grow. As much as I hate to admit it, their problems seem more daunting than technical challenges developers face. The nature of problems is so much more dynamic, unstructured and nuanced. After all, leading strangers to work towards your personal vision is kinda neat!1
-
Boss(non-technical) complains we are behind the schedule he set without consulting the tech team, the complains we don't all(including BAs) don't do code review. CHOOSE!
*Note: I am not bashing code review*2 -
what's your expirience with business intelligence / data science? Do your company has a own department for it?
If so how does it affect you?2 -
If I'll ever start a business I have some gold rules for it:
- what you're doing (the difficulty of a project) decides your partial salary, and not the time you're working on it
- if you take a lot of time working on something that should have taken less, you'll be controlled by your supervisor BUT he/she must be gentle and friendly, he/she should be able to understand your problem. If there is something that really could have taken so much time, the partial salary will be higher, otherwise, you'll get a strike
- after some strike you'll be "reviewed", we must understand if you're joking or you really want this work.
- there must be a lot of free time, we don't like stress
- your supervisor (as written before) must be gentle and friendly. If these qualities aren't met we must find a new supervisor (of course there will be a survey)
- you should come to work with a smile, if an activity is too much stressful you should report it, and take a pause (here comes the free time)
- I don't care if you have a degree, what you CAN do is what I'm searching for.18 -
You would think that one might get used to the following scenario, but it still pisses me off every time it happens. I'm getting a design created by the customer that is specific to a pixel-level. The product I create in turn is very close to a 100% match visually and functional. And then a few days later, the work already done, I get renewed versions of the same designs. Just like that. With all those nooks and crannies replaced and new ones added, as if it didn't took time, effort and experience to make them functional in the first place. And no one blinks an eye. Not the customer, not our project managers. So after having me built you intricate card board house, you just smash it and tell me to rebuild? It's not always a huge deal but it happens so often and I guess it's part of the "customer is king" mentality, but it's bullshit. If the customer hands in a final design, then that's it. Any changes afterwards need to be paid extra. Otherwise it feels like I'm wasting my time and those changes will not get the same quality treatment for sure.1
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PM:"I don't care how you dev build it, those are tech details, not my business, I only care about the business domain."
sounds familiar?
this is the main reason why so many projects failed, can you image any professional use such an asshole statement in other industry.2 -
When I talk about release a personal project to GNU/GPL license (when it's finished, some day) people looks at me like "wow, be careful". It makes me think about the mythology around silicon valley and how the idea of writing a killer app or a nice machine and instantly grow rich became a standard, even when it's terribly wrong and false...2
-
!rant
As a company director that’s just starting out down my freelance journey, I still find it so scary taking money out of the business, even though I know I have the money to replace it.
The spectre of getting my taxes wrong even though I’ve got established accountants looking out for me is insane. -
I finish my internship in dev the next week and my supervisor wants to hire me as a Business Analyst, for that I have to pass some tests in an assessment center.. I hope I will success it ! 👊1
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Not as much a rant as interest, but did any of you guys recently start a business or witnessed the start of one? I really wanted to know how those find the services and tools that get them off the ground or enhance the business, is there lists with "must have" services for specific business categories etc?14
-
Need a new business name idea for a web based software house. We are 2 weeks into choosing one and no progress :D help!20
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Start a business, it'll be fun they said. One of those days you'll realise that you're in a situation where you'll have to fire a friend from your engineering team, there's no way around it..
People keep on thinking and saying
"You're so lucky, you can choose the clients and the team, and work whenever you want to.."
Yep. Highest highs and lowest lows go hand in hand. Thank god there's both.1 -
Anyone in here have experience with UML in the real entreprise world?
As a student I've learned a lot about documentation and software architectural design, I've worked 3 different places and worked with customers that were developers and all of them seemed to not really do architecture and documentation that well. Personally I find having an overview/guideline for bigger project really helpful
how come you don't see better software documentation and UML out there?
Maybe I just haven't found the right place yet4 -
Fuck fabricated industries that create a problem to justify their existence.
There are plenty of problems that need addressing, don't make more... -
I feel like premium content should be available via paid (ad-free), free (ads), or through web user small scale crypto mining, at the users discretion obviously.
I don't get why we have to have these ad blockers and ad creators trying to one up each other. The *option* for low-performance crypto mining while on the page would be cool to have as a choice.3 -
I made a game dev friend from a forum. Later we went in business together and now we have a really strong friendship. And our business is doing great.2
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Any of you have built companies/businesses? I never thought that I'd think of making one but I'm thinking of doing it. Software companies or any other. I want to hear your stories 😄
-
I can create and deploy a web app (LAMP stack) but I don't know how to create mobile apps. Should I hire mobile devs in the future or self study and create the mobile apps? Um or find some mobile developer to partner with? 🤨4
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So I make websites on the side for small time clients for some additional income. And without fail every time I sit down to work on this one site something goes wrong. First there were problems with the hosting, and now the template that the client chose is no longer for sale. I hope I'm not going to lose them over this :( I've sent them a list of alternative templates and contacted the company behind the original template to ask what is up. Real shame because they picked what I considered the favourite too and now I regret waiting to fork over the money to make the purchase.5
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I need your thoughts on a privacy related matter. I find this fact being very provocative.
So, at work we use Gmail:
Person AB has email AB@company.tld
Person ABC has email ABC@company.tld
How is it that when you send an e-mail to AB, that ABC sends back a god damn Out-of-office, without ABC being in either To, CC or BCC?
I reckon that the mailbox AB is owned by said company, and ABC is the owner of all those accounts. But shouldn't the contents of such mailbox still be private in some regard? (At least until AB isn't in the company anymore?)
It's funny, as a customer said she got an out of office from ABC, while solely sending one to AB.. I noticed this a few weeks back, and I'm rather infuriated by the fact that there's a possibility that every e-mail AB reveives, also ends up in in ABC's box.
🤔15 -
Dad: I want you to marry a girl of my choice.
Son: No
Dad: The girl is Bill Gate's daughter.
Son: Then Ok.
Dad goes to Bill Gates.
Dad: I want your daughter to marry my son.
Bill Gates: No
Dad: My son is the CEO of the World Bank.
Bill Gates: Than ok
Dad goes to the President of the World Bank.
Dad: Appoint my son as the CEO of your bank.
President: No
Dad: He is the son-in-law of Bill Gates.
President: Then OK
That's business...!!2 -
At one point in my career I tried to do a payment plan for the websites I built for some reason (I guess to make it more affordable for people???).
Out of the 3 people I onboarded 1 of them actually finished paying for everything.
The other 2 didn't make it half way through.
Their invoices are overdue collecting interest to this day. Websites are shutdown.4 -
How does devrant make profit?
Are you, hexical labs, accepting donations, or what's the business model?4 -
Is disaster recovery capability to meet business requirements and testing it part of your new system implementation roadmap?
-
They're all waiting in line to buy the new Iphone X while I'm sitting on my chair waiting for my brand new Nexus 5 to be delivered 🤗
-
did little coding today... Spent most of my time learning Agile with Scrum. Suddenly so much of what went on in the 'Silicon Valley' tv show began to make sense. Jared [Donald] was a shrewd businessman.
resting now... Business & tech fascinate me. Perhaps there is still hope for this high-school dropout afterall! -
Talking about Skype, more specifically Skype for Business, how hard is it for MS to implement a nice way to switch chats between mobile and desktop? When a colleague sends me a message on Skype and I open it on my phone it won't show up on my desktop for at least a few minutes. WHY?!
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Today I got a change request that told me I needed to create a report showing orders broken down by their order types as percentages.
Now the order types part involve SQL queries that translate business rules into multiple table joins and it's quite nasty (200 + lines or so).
Naturally the change request doesn't mention any of these business rules and how to tell that orders are of a specific type... but alas!
It teaches me how to calculate a percentage :)
... like "10 / 100 * 100 = 10%"
I don't know whether to laugh or feel insulted.2 -
Level 1 support moron dishing out bad instructions from his flowchart.
Wanted me to edit config files for a production setup, which would've killed shipping for all stations, in the middle of our shipping rush.
Fixed the problem while in the escalation queue for level 2. L2 confirms the fix, and bemoans the shit documentation L1 provided.
If its a business class (mission critical) system, hire decent support staff! You might try testing people for reading/listening comprehension, and then paying them a decent wage! This isn't good for my blood pressure... -
Your project is never complete. There will always be one business guy who'll report a feature as a bug.
-
To all the business owners, it's good to have employee's. It means you get to do their jobs besides your own too.1
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Again got an email(pseudospam) from a service I subscribed to (yes I did). It says the email is from CEO and it's supposed to be X-mas wish + invitation to their youtube channel. It was, kind of...
But the words they (or he, but I hope not) used in the email! It was so obviously blank, such uninteresting-president-speech. It was even targeted as a spam by gmail. In a foreign lang.
I mean... if you want to reach to your customers, sit on your ass and imagine _yourself_ reading an email that's long, its point was lost somewhere in the fourth sentence and magically appeared at the end + even default mail filter targets it as a spam.
That's what you get from a service. Motivational crap and blank words. Many thanks, I haven't heard a lot of those lately, eh?! -
Man it feels good to go back to Android. iPhone started twitching out something fierce and I had enough. Thankfully I have more than enough smartphones laying around2
-
AHH!!! PM talk is melting my brain...nodes are...collapsing...
"We need to post-mortem our lessons learned and level set our expectations so we can define quick resolutions and set tollgate approvals, at a very high level."
# clear my head of beastly things
def cls():
print ('\n' * 666)
cls()2 -
Just when I thought a project I'm analyzing has done a good implementation, I found out that they got lazy and started writing business logic DIRECTLY into models!! Now stuff is tightly coupled that extracting it will cause unknown effects.
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Sometimes I think to keep development as a hobby for my side projects and not as a full time job.
Hate how development/programming has to compromised for businesses.
Hoping some of you will get what I'm trying to say. -
A non-relationship database system with drag and drop + business process flows. It was fun at first, but like my Android phone, it slowed the **** down so much that it affected business operations. Must have been their evil plan all along.
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A bit of a follow up on my last rant (https://www.devrant.io/rants/362638). Cause now I have two weeks to work through this shit. The title somewhat translates to "business administration for credit institutes"
2 -
Got dragged into business meeting. Said stupid things because I didn't know they were secrets... Can't wait to get chewed out. Why am I not just a code monke?!?!2
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The go-getter boss sets us up on basecamp. ( Mind you, this is just two weeks after starting us on Slack )
The first topic of discussion he puts out is "What would you suggest to improve meetings?" Considering the business genius has cancelled the past 5 office meetings, I replied with "The key to a successful meeting is actually having them."
Basecamp's been pretty quite ever since.1 -
When you go out to have a client meeting, then the client doesn't show up (and you only learn they won't show up after you have texted them twice).
Looks like I need to start sending out meeting reminder emails again.... -
Not a rant, a question.
So I am planning to build an ecommerce website for my business, is it sensible to make it from scratch and if not then what existing solutions I can use
Urghhhhhgg, really confused3 -
worst: choosing to be a business student instead of studying computer science
best: finally graduating from business school, and now i have time to concentrate on coding fully -
I will be enjoying the greatest freedom on the day when all the sites with lots of adds and very low or little information will be wiped.1
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I tried using Lynda the other day for what I assumed would be improving my theoretical knowledge of digital forensics. Part of the lesson in "advanced" digital forensics was that people change filename extensions to make them look innocuous, and how to use nano.
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All these routes, and still im not yet done. More power to devs whom client dont realize how tedious to validate thez things!
4 -
Maybe we hate sales/business people so much because they're always thinking about the future while we are in present.1
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Suffering from the cash flow blues.
Remote contracting roles are far and few between, and so far I’ve only found the one client, the problem is that because they’ve been burned in the past by contractors, they only operate on an order by order basis.
So we’re stuck in this perpetual cycle of issues > estimates > order > development > test > tweak > pay and repeat.
The problem is that there is always significant delay between the stages from both sides, either because they’re busy on stuff, or I’ve burnt myself out rushing to meet an estimate and having to take a bit of breathing room.
Don’t get me wrong, it’s great working in blocks of a few days to a week and then having some time to myself (and the money is nice too), but the cash flow inconsistency is super scary when you’re having to manage corporation tax, accountancy fees and a salary.
Anyone else have these issues / know good places to find remote contract work?2 -
I recently recommended that we fix a gap in the current CSRF implementation.
I’m asked by a fucking business guy that if we haven’t seen an issue till now, why is this a priority?
Should I demo the vulnerability? Why can’t they fucking trust the people that they hire? It’s not like I wanna do it for some selfish motive. -
How did you guys get your business running once you were freelancing? Did you do subcontract work for your old employee or just start fresh with a bunch of customers?1
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We regularly have deadlines set before they've worked out anything about what's in the release, and business takes their time, so we're literally told "we don't know what business is going to want, but we have to start coding now to meet the deadline"
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That moment when the business expects you to work 60 hours and be available 24/7 to support rollout, but won't subject their team to the same.
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//rant
Two weeks ago we delivered four parts from a request containing about 30 minor developments to ease general every day operations.. this week my boss demanded a specified fallout report about how those cut our expenses and costs, how many percentage those four of the total amount of savings all 30 developments would save and whatnot.
ARE YOU FUCKING SHITTING ME!? They've been in prod for ONE god damn week and the intended operations are not even launched yet! How about you go and CHILL THE FUCK DOWN!? I understand that whole part about growing business and getting it to stay alive, but you sir.. you.. GAAAH!! -
Business: The feature is not as aspected.
Dev: This is what you asked for.
Business: I ask for something else.
Dev: Please refer to the documentation.
Business: F**k with document.
Dev: You only the documentation. -
New framework and tool is a luxury. I think I've too much of time 'learning' new stuff that seems doesn't make big different to my life. A friend of mine made his first million in his 20s by building team which heavily on jquery.2
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Some just know how to talk the walk. Wanna pitch a ridiculous idea but don't know how to execute the plan. I give up on people these days.1
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confessions[1]
I've started way too many projects. Even more than the number of times I've shopped clothes for myself. But I rarely complete anything ever. Once the learning phase is over and I've to actually do the typing out the code part, I lose interest and leave the project and start new ones. -
Finally after 3 fucking months, 15-20 fucking meetings, I got sign off for a feature release. The development took 3 weeks and was completed in March end.
I know being a financial institution and feature was regarding system handling funds, business guys need to worry a bit as any mistake in code can mess up the funds disbursal. But fuckers took 3 months to give sign off.
However, it's finally released and I can relax for now. #peace -
Going out of order, because I need to rant 😆 https://www.devrant.io/rants/311992
Worst enterprise software forced to use:
Lync/Skype for Business
I've used a lot of crappy systems. But being forced to use this is painful. On Linux I make it somewhat bearable by using Pidgin but that has its limitations (no file sharing, etc.)....but after attempting to use the "new" Skype for Business it doesn't do that simple task either...so Lync 2011 ***2011*** for me. It's 2016, they know that right?2 -
Hey guys,
What books had the biggedt impact on how you live your life, conduct your business, the way you code or make decisions?
I'm reading "Zero to One" for the second time now and love reading it all over again.10 -
Today I pass an assessment test to be hire as Business Analyst / Business Intelligence, I'm stressed about it because I'm just finishing the school, I got this possibility because I made a really good internship1
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What's the best way to deal with constant dread? I deployed code after following every procedure, got every kind of thumbs up from QA and now it's my fault our 2012 admin site borked. Should I point out all the obvious flaws (again), or should I give up on our stagnant-ass developers and systems?
The fear of showing off anything new is crippling. I wrote up a Pyton API to hook into our current pipeline over lunch breaks but am worried if I even raise it as an option it'll just be cast aside and lost to time, regardless of business value. -
Basically any idea without any monetizing strategy whatsoever or just the idea of "selling data". What data and to whom?!
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What are some cool titles/position I can put on a my business card? It's kinda lame if I just put Software Engineer there. Lol12
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So I'm tasked with creating a single sign on link using documentation from the third party we are logging into. So far so good.
Well they don't support some of the fields our users will need--that we don't want to support (otherwise why use a third-party?).
Their solution is to make us the system of record so that when a user goes through the single sign on we pass this info as well. But it needs to be editable on their side well--because they won't give us an API for our system of record to update their side.
That's right only a user signing on from our system will update their side. Tough luck admins on our side. You get double duty due to the poor business decision to work with a company with lazy devs. -
My little junior say programmer pay is low and can't buy shit, I show him a cheque I got last week he looks a bit shock and says "You work extra 1-2 hours here and you're able to develiver by working after ur job?"
I told him the truth later "I got this pay cheque using git clone and changing few placeholder, is programmer pay good?" -
!rant
What's the best technique for securely storing all the various credentials used throughout a business?8 -
So I take a business class that is offered at my school and currently the whole class is working together to make a business.
Well me being me I get assigned to lead the website part of the business but we have a bunch of extra people in the group so I sit down with them, and I ask them a few questions like “have you done any web development before?” Or “do any of you have experience with photoshop?” Well I’m the only one who knows how to do anything, I’m also the youngest.
This is go my to be a long year -
what position can i put on my business card aside from software engineer? software engineer is a boring title. lol4
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