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console.log('This website owner is a verified shit nugget. Avoid business.');
If you get a bad client, warn others! ;)11 -
Brother: Make me an Android application for my restaurant.
Me: But I have an exam tomorrow
B: So what, it will just take two hours
Me : -_-19 -
I AM SO FUCKING TIRED OF BUSINESS MOTHERFUCKERS USING TECHNICAL FUCKING BUZZWORDS LIKE THEY KNOW SHIT ABOUT TECH! THEY TRY TO BE FUCKING SMARTASSES AND ARGUE WITH DEVELOPERS LIKE GOD KNOWS WHY THIS FUCKING DOUCHE IS NOT THROWN IN /dev/null YET!
Ugh. He try to sound smart and argued with a unity game developer why the dev is not using "react" and "redux" in his game, purely because "since its the hype in 2016"... I was like really nigga?? FOR FUCKS SAKE Do some research before you say! Then he argued with a senior full-stack web developer on why they're using ES6 and not ES7, purely because he heard that ES7 is newer. When we try to explain we're not using decorator syntaxes since we use pure functions in our codebase, or how we haven't installed any ES7 babel plugins to transpile our code, he kept saying ES7 is newer and cooler and we must use it somehow... More to rant but i am fucking tired right now...
14 -
PM: 2 months? no thats way too long, do it in 1.
Director: I had a chat with someone else who doesn't work on this team, he says that developer you complained about is a good guy and we should keep him on the team.
Business: No, we don't have time for tech debt, lets build these new features as quick as possible and lets see where we are.
everyone: WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT CRASHED AGAIN??? THIS IS UNACCEPTABLE6 -
FINALLY, RESIGNED! Am leaving such a fucked UP "big" corporate company and starting my own business! Wish me luck!😔😔27
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Business: How long will it take to add that feature to the legacy system?
Programmer: When will the new system be implemented?
Business: 6 months
Programmer: The new feature will take 7 months3 -
I kid you not, this was in some of our official corporate training.
Unfortunately, this often is how our business area "functions"
6 -
I think one difficult thing about being a developer is having all your business friends tell you they have this idea that would make millions but you have to build a prototype (for free) for them to pitch. They don't seem to understand that this is a full time job.12
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I love companies that only use titles like 'Analyst'. Then, they can make you work as a developer, business analyst, tester, help desk, or project manager and there's no way you can ask for a raise or promotion6
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I had a professor, in college that believed "sometimes we have to fire customers. There are bad customers and it serves no purpose to spend time and effort in serving them when they burn you out and are simply bad customers" and I share that vision.
-
Team quarterly capacity planning:
- Confluence document created with a big table (+100 rows) by product / business. Each row is something that needs to be worked on for the coming quarter.
- Row 1 could be an Epic with 15 tickets attached. Row 2 could be adding a single log to our analytics. No consistency.
- For each row, we create a separate confluence document with the "technical details". 75% of the time these remain blank. 1% of the time there is something useful, the rest its a slightly longer version of the description from the bigger document.
- Each row gets a high level estimate by the leads. 50% of the time without sufficient background info to actually do get it accurate.
- These are then copied into the teams excel spreadsheet, where it will calculate if we are over/under capacity.
- We will go backwards and forwards between confluence and excel until we are "close enough" to under capacity without being too much.
- Once done, we then need to copy them into the org/division's excel spreadsheet. This document is huge, has every team on it and massive 50pt text saying "Do not put a filter on this document".
- Jira tickets + Epics will now be created for each one, with all the data be copied over by hand, bit by bit, by product. Often missing something.
- Last week, at the end of this process for Q2 (2 weeks late), 6 of the leads were asked to attend a 30 minute meeting to discuss how to group the line items together because we had too many for the bigger excel spreadsheet.
- This morning I was told business weren't happy with one of our decisions to delay one line item. Although they were all top priority (P0), one of them was actually higher than that again (P-1?) and we need to work it back in.
... so back to step 1
- Mid way through Q2, a new document will be created for Q3. Work items that didn't make the cut will be manually copied from one to the other. 50/50 whether anything that didn't get done on time in Q2 will make its way to the Q3 doc.
- "Tech excellence" / "Tech debt" items (unit/UI tests, documentation, logging, performance, stability etc) will never be copied over. Because product doesn't understand them and assumes therefore that they are unimportant.
==================
PS: I'd like to say this was a rare event for Q2, but no. Q4 and Q1 were so bad, we were made assurances from the director of engineering that he would fix this process for Q2. This is the new and improved process (I shit you not) that has resulted in nothing tangible.7 -
Every single fucking time:
Developers: Maybe we'll do something nice for the users, like signing in with Facebook account?
Business: Nah, nobody is gonna pay for that and it sounds useless. We're good with current solutions. Just do your job!
half a year later:
Business: Hey, I just came up with the idea that we could have logging in with Facebook.
Also business: Wow, great idea!
Management: Here's your bonus for a great idea!
Developers: ...5 -
Manager: Here's the design for the next feature, we're ready to hand it over to the consultant
FullStackClown: Uh... okay... is it spec'd out with requirements?
Manager: Huh?
FullStackClown: Well, already look at this design and user flow, did you consider what happens when <insert edge case X here>, <insert edge case Y here>, or <insert edge case Z here>? How is the consultant going to know what to put in for business logic if you don't even know or define it yourself?
Manager: Huh?
FullStackClown: Sigh... yeah, I'm too busy right now to be a kindergarten teacher, come back in a few days once you understand how your own feature is supposed to work
Manager: ...
Dev: ...5 -
I am officially hired as an Associate Business Analyst ! I made an internship as an Analyst Developper and the company enjoyed my work so they ask me if I wanted to join the team ! 🎉6
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Business: we need feature x in two
Days, highly urgent!
Me: fine, here’s a shitty implementation we can live with until you decide how to Actually make this work in the future.
2 days pass...
Me: where’s the content for feature x?
Business: awaiting approval
5 more days pass...
Me: I’m guessing this super urgent request wasn’t needed after all?
Business: it’s still awaiting approval
Me: so... I’ll just go and remove this feature, and revisit when its actually needed.
Business: no, it’s needed now, we are just waiting on approval
Me: 🤷♂️
Duck my life sometimes.
I could have built a full fledged system of this shitty hack job instead in the time taken to approve a useless piece of content.6 -
I've caught the efficiency bug.
I recently started a minimum wage job to get my life back in order after a failed 2 year project (post mortem: next time bring more cash for a longer runway)
I've noticed this thing I do at every job, where I see inefficiency and I think "how can I use technology to automate myself out of this job?"
My first ever application was in C++ for college (a BASIC interpreter) and it's been so long I've since forgotten the language.
But after a while every language starts to look like every other language, and you start to wonder if maybe the reason you never seriously went anywhere as a programmer was because you never really were cut out for it.
Code monkey, sure. Programmer? Dunno, maybe I just suffer from imposter syndrome.
So a few years back I worked at a retail chain. Nothing as big as walmart, but they have well over 10k store locations. They had two IBM handscanners per store, old grungy ugly things, and one of these machines would inevitably be broken, lost or in need of upgrade/replacement about once a year, per location. District manager, who I hit it off with, and made a point of building report with, told me they were paying something like $1500 a piece.
After a programming dry spell, I picked up 'coding' with MIT app inventor. Built a 'mostly complete' inventory management app over the course of a month, and waited for the right time.
The day of a big store audit, (and the day before a multi-regional meeting), I made sure I was in-store at the same time as my district manager, so he could 'stumble upon' me working, scanning in and pricing items into the app.
Naturally he asked about it, and I had the numbers, the print outs, and the app itself to show him. He seemed impressed by what amounted to a code monkeys 'non-code' solution for a problem they had.
Long story short, he does what I expected, runs it by the other regionals and middle executives at the meeting, and six months later they had invested in a full blown in house app, cutting IBM out of the mix I presume.
From what I understand they now use the app throughout the entire store chain.
So if you work at IBM, sorry, that contract you lost for handscanners at 10k+ stores? Yeah that was my fault (and MIT app inventor).
They say software is 'eating the world' but it really goes to show, for a lot of 'almost coders' and 'code monkeys' half our problem is dealing with setup and platform boilerplate. I think in the future that a lot of jobs are either going to be created or destroyed thanks to better 'low code' solutions, and it seems to be a big potential future market.
In the mean while I've realized, while working on side projects, that maybe I can do this after all, and taken up Kotlin. I want to do a couple of apps for efficiency and store tracking at my current employer to see if I'm capable and not just an mit app-inventor codemonkey after all.
I'm hoping, by demonstrating what I can do, I can use that as a springboard into an internal programming position at my current gig (which seems to be a company thats moving towards a more tech oriented approach to efficiency and management). Also watching money walk out the door due to inefficiency kinda pisses me off, and the thought of fixing those issues sounds really interesting. At the end of the day I just like learning new technologies, and maybe this is all just an excuse to pick up something new after spending so long on less serious work.
I still have a ways to go, but the prospect of working on B2B, and being able to offer technological solutions to common and recurring business needs excites the hell out of me..as cringy and over-repeated as that may sound.5 -
How to run a successful business:
1. Fire 30% of staff because covid, 'we can't afford you'
2. Be wrong about covid and have higher sales volume than ever
3. Be unable to handle such traffic with limited resources
4. Move EVERYONE, every fucking specialist, every non-people person to customer support and make them refund ALL disputed orders like robots because customers aren't happy
5. $?2 -
TL; DR: please save me from IT hell
Note 1: this is a rant that comes after a couple other rants I'm going to call "family business saga" from now on because I feel like this is gonna go on for a while
Note 2: the following may look exaggerated but it's because of how pissed off I am at said person
So I have to help this one family member with his computer but he's worned me out so much last summer that I can't stand him (it's all tech based). At all. Both in person and via text calls. I dread and become pissy each time he's nearby, just his presence makes me want to jump in a hole and stay there for eternity.
And he's not the smartest cookie in the jar when it comes to tech, so he comes to me for help (instead of going to my brother. Aaagh why doesn't he go for my brother as well, it's mentally tiring having to "help" him - as he doesn't learn what I'm trying to teach him even after several attempts). I don't really mind being sought for help when it comes to tech, but this guy takes it one step further.
He entered my room with his computer in his hands saying this friend of his has installed W7 on his PC (why didn't he handle all the things he wants to do, it would save me a lot of anger containment) and that I *had* (it's always "YOU HAVE" because I'm a tech-ish person and I'm in uni for CS) to help him do a bunch of things.
So he boots up the thing and there are 32 updates to do, so I'm guessing that he didn't boot it up after the OS update until now. He leaves my room and I sigh out of relief. He comes back with the AC remote complaining it's too hot in my room and that he's gonna put it down a degree or 2. Jesus christ do not tamper with my AC settings, it's fine to me. The updates are still going on. He leaves again.
The computer takes its time to update and so does he. I'm happily playing minecraft when he comes back, the computer off after updating. He looks at it and says "why is it off?". I reply back "it finished updating.", trying to keep my cool. Even the most simple questions are irritation inducing.
He reboots it and lets it run. After it boots and it's ready to go he just stays there for like 2' without doing anything because the hard drive light was going off. I think he thinks the computer is going to explode if he touches it while the light is blinking 😬
He goes to connect the computer to the internet and gets all surprised that the computer doesn't recognize our home's internet (he has been here before with his computer, I guess, so he had connected, so I think he was expecting it to auto connect like that). I tell him that the computer doesn't recognize our home's connection because it has had a fresh OS installation and so it didn't have any connection registered. He types in the password and the connection is established.
He them starts going on about that he wants to get these pics on the business' website and how does he put them in his computer and all that. I do that for him and he's all like "how did you do that?? 😮" like it's a magic trick
And he's always going on at everything as if it's all a big undoable thing. "How do I do this? You know what, do it yourself and show me because I don't wanna fail". Dude. Bro. Everything - EVERYTHING - you are afraid of doing is undoable. EVERYTHING. Good christ.
I swear I've never felt so glad I'm going back for uni next week9 -
After completing my sprint and some lingering stuff in the backlog
Me: Hey, there's this tiny feature people have really requested, I'll go build it since I got nothing else to do at the moment. It'll only take like 1h
PO: Hmm ok. Don't work on that yet, we need to check with business people and agree on the user stories and bla bla bla
Me: Ok, well there's these bugs I can take care of then, I'll get them fixed, won't be long.
PO: Hmmm, we need to measure the impact first. Let me get back to you on that a bit later
Me: Meh, oh. I'll refactor this bad component meanwhile then.
PO: Have you created a story for that in JIRA? Create the story first and then we'll groom it and take it in when we've time
Me in my head: Dafuq! Im trying to work on your fucking project but you keep throwing all that business bueraucracy shit at me. What am I supposed to do then? Sip coffee in the kitchen and talk about the other fucking billion failed "new business opportunities" with my peers? Fuck this circle jerk of a billion management people all trying to make themselves important. Nothing. Ever. Gets. Fucking. Done!!!
Me: Ah right, I'll do that *proceeds to the water cooler*5 -
Building a business can hamper one's development urges!
I have been building stuff since 2008. Took my first job in 2012, won a hackathon at Yahoo right after that. Got an amazing team to work with! Our team converted the hacked product into a proper product using Django and AngularJS. Those were the fun days. At that time AngularJS had just come out and I was under the dilemma to use Angular, Ember or backbone. But with all this came the responsibility to build a business out of our product. It didn't happen eventually though.
So I moved on to cure my entrepreneural itch and went on to start up an e-commerce startup along with my day job. It started getting good traction and I finally left my day job to focus completely on it. It's a sticker marketplace and I had to focus a lot on the actual physical product, improve the quality, tackle business development and stuff etc. In all this, my habit of creating stuff with code kind of got the back seat. Everyday, I see such exciting technologies come up and I want to try them out. I have been itching to create a native app using react native. Try to build a skill for Amazon Alexa.
On one side I am happy that I have been able to build a brand and become the largest sticker marketplace in India providing super awesome reusable stickers, but on the other hand, managing the business on a daily basis is killing the developer in me :(
Does anyone else building a business which involves a physical product also face a similar problem? I think I should just take up weekend hackathon type problems and try to solve them using the technologies I want to learn. Example, I have been meaning to build an app for our company. I think I will start with that!
I have been following devRant for quite sometime now and it has been awesome. Finally, signed up and ranted today! 😊😊5 -
Want to make some friends quickly?
Just go to any pseudo startup incubator in a university (all business people with an idea), mention you are a coder (mimicking the typing on a keyboard to make sure they understand) and all of the sudden you'll have a crowd of people around you that "need to talk to you"
The other guys working with me have to physically protect me every time someone finds out1 -
Business ppl asks for program to be created.
Business ppl send out 5 one hour meeting invites for the week.
Boss puts me in 5 day training for 7 hours a day.
Business ppl tired of me saying I've had no time to develop their stuff.
Boss asks why I haven't made progress on business ppl program.
Trainer upset I'm doing business ppl program instead of the training.
We can't win.2 -
I got in an argument with a co worker, she says that mass surveillance programs are "none of my business" and I shouldn't care how they operate.
ACTUALLY, ACCORDING TO GOOGLE IT IS MY BUSINESS.
2 -
I worked someplace once that fired a person for lack of quality output. Before that he sued the company over a labor dispute. After they fired him he went and founded his own business. A year later the company decided to recycle his old laptop to another developer and discovered the source code and business prospectus on it. The company took it to court and said it was actually their business because it was created on its own equipment and the time stamps confirm during business hours also. Courts agreed and they got possession of his business and then fired him again.6
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I quit my job at a startup because the business guys did not respect my advices in business strategy.
just saw the job post for my position where they write:
"experience with MySQL databases (for example redis and git)"
Now I know that I was wrong. These guys seems to have informations that I do not have 😎2 -
How can business majors be so gullible?! Who the fuck poisoned their minds with the app hype ?!!
Seriously my tears are 90% from laughter and 10% shame for humanity.
Friend: "Dude I'd like to consult with you the idea of an app...etc"
Me: "Sounds nice, got a business plan?"
Friend: "Yes, but well...you see... development has already started"
Me: "oh cool, how's that going?"
Friend: "well I already made an upfront payment of 2K dollars"
Me: "sounds kind of excessive for the amount of work...wait did you said upfront payment?"
Friend: "yeah, we calculated 30k total"
😐
Me:"umm...that software must be...special...? Can I see it?"
Friend: "that's the thing, they haven't delivered"
Me: " did they give you mockups? A development plan? Demo? Anything?"
Friend: "umm no"
Me: "a god damn receipt?"
Friend shows me a piece of paper with the name of the guy and 2K written on it.
Friend: "he says he's been busy, I wanted your advice"
I blame Eduardo Saverin's fate and my friend's on college's failure to teach "real world assholes 101"
7 -
Most business apps end up being overcomplicated and convoluted because that’s what most businesses are:
Overcomplicated and convoluted.
Building an app to operate systems like that will always be an exercise in garbage in garbage out. Fix your process before saying wE nEeD An aPp To Do ThIs. You don’t need an app. You need a smack upside the head.11 -
My family thinks than I can do Uber (eats), Facebook and WhatsApp but better. And than I'm lazy because I don't build those "obvious" business opportunities.
BTW I'm mostly web dev, sometimes mobile dev on a small company.4 -
CTO: Research, problem analysis, customer need validations, and data based prioritisation is stupid.
Me: So, then why should we solve this problem?
CTO: Because my team invests a lot of time in here (read "because we build a shitty system in past without thinking and we are doing it again").
Me: I don't see this as a good idea.
CTO: I become emotional when I request product to align and they don't. We must solve this problem and not what customers want.
Me: I am not participating here.
CTO: And I want you to work on weekends to support my team.
Me: *disconnects*3 -
devRant is awesome, but Disney also manages to light-up my day.
This is how Wall-E became a beloved member of our team, and helped me put a smile on my face throughout a very frustrating project.
It all started in a company, not so far far away from here, where management decided to open up development to a wider audience in the organization. Instead of continuing the good-old ping-pong between Business and IT...
'not meeting my expectations' - 'not stated in project requirements'
'stuff's not working - 'business is constantly misusing'
'why are they so difficult' - 'why don't they know what they really want'
'Ping, pong, plok... (business loses point) ping, pong'
... the company aimed to increase collaboration between the 2 worlds, and make development more agile.
The close collaboration on development projects is a journey of falling and getting back up again. Which can be energy draining, but to be honest there is also a lot of positive exposure to our team now.
The relevant part for this story is that de incentive of business teams throughout these projects was mainly to deliver 'something' that 'worked'. Where our team was also very keen on delivering functionality that is stable, scalable, properly documented etc. etc.
We managed to get the fundamentals in place, but because the whole idea was to be more agile or less strict throughout the process, we could not safeguard all best-practices were adhered to during each phase of a project. The ratio Business/IT was simply out of balance to control everything, and the whole idea was to go for a shorter development lifecycle.
One thing for sure, we went a lot faster from design through development to deployment, high-fives followed and everybody was happy (for some time).
Well almost everybody, because we knew our responsibility would not end after the collection of credits at deployment, but that an ongoing cycle of maintenance would follow. As expected, after the celebrations also complaints, new requirements and support requests on bug fixes were incoming.
Not too enthusiastic about constantly patching these projects, I proposed to halt new development and to initiate a proper cleaning of all these projects. With the image in mind of a small enthusiastic fellow, dedicated to clean a garbage-strewn wasteland for humanity, I deemed "Wall-E" a very suited project name. With Wall-E on board, focus for the next period was on completely restructuring these projects to make sure all could be properly maintained for the future.
I knew I was in for some support, so I fetched some cool wall papers to kick-start each day with a fresh set of Wall-E's on my monitors. Subsequently I created a Project Wall-E status report, included Wall-E in team-meetings and before I knew it Wall-E was the most frequently mentioned member of the team. I could not stop to chuckle when mails started to fly on whether "Wall-E completed project A" or if we could discuss "Wall-E's status next report-out". I am really happy we put in the effort with the whole team to properly deploy all functionality. Not only the project became a success, also the idea of associating frustrating activities with a beloved digital buddy landed well in our company. A colleagues already kickstarted 'project Doraemon', which is triggering a lot of fun content. Hope it may give you some inspiration, or at least motivate you to watch Wall-E!
PS: I have been enjoying the posts, valuable learnings and fun experiences for some time now. Decided to also share a bit from my side, here goes my first rant!
3 -
FUCK YOU BUSINESS GUY
FUCK YOUR SCOPE CREEP
SOLO DEV AINT GIVING U 20 FEATURES IN ONE MOTHERFUCKING WEEK
Seriously, though. Being a solo full-stackq developer who can do both frontend (react, redux) and backend (feathers, node) does NOT mean you have twice the manpower to accomplish all of your shitty shit. Just because you have an idea does NOT mean I have to implement all of it. You don't even have a motherfucking specifications for me, yet you expect me to deliver shitloads of complete fucking feature in a fucking week. This is not a fucking joke. I am NOT your mother fucking tool. I need time to build my stack, design and perfect the interface. I don't want a shitty motherfucking product on my fucking portfolio.
*dies inside*
11 -
Argh,
Today - you son of a bitch.
It all started with a 2 hour flight out of town for business, and I mean started as in I needed to be at the airport at 4:30am!
Despite 2 coffee's to get me out of bed I proceeded to indulge myself in the magic juice, 3 cups later and it felt like my heart belonged in a Grand Prix.
Now here is the sticky part, we where briefed that we would only be doing 2 site meetings and that was it.
Low and be hold it got worse, turns out that we would be pitching our product to 3 highly regarded CEO's, now bare in mind that my position on this trip is as the lead developer, and don't get me wrong I am well up to date on every aspect of the business, hence why they sent me.
So more coffee down the gullet, and eventually the conversation leads back to a project that I had developed to allow authorization of debit orders online, now usually I'm quite a well presented person in these types of situations, but you don't realize how quick this can change.
A quick jump to the geography of the location I was doing business. Johannesburg, South Africa - its as dry as hell, smoggy and at a very higher altitude "as in above sea level".
Now unfortunately none of the above factors where helping me much at all.
Now back to where I am being asked about my project, and never in my life have I tripped over my own words, I went completely blank, I'm surprised I didn't pass out to be honest.
Now despite the death stare and my colleague kicking me under the table, I am feeling pretty terrible, fortunately I had a kick ass team that was able to cover my ass!
Luckily I was able to recover ( 2 muffins and about 3 bottles of water later). We where able to salvage the meeting and it turned out pretty well, I regained my energy and we made it happen!
Must say the flight back was amazing! Almost empty and we all had a row of seats to ourselves, which resulted in some major comfort stretching!
Thanks for tolerating my essay, I'd love to hear if anyone has had anything of the sorts happen to them.
2 -
Instead of making business cards, I bought small index cards. The first time ‘round, I carefully taped four or five together with chalkboard tape and then wrote on them with gold pen. Now I’m just using the index cards and black pen since the reaction to that in person’s been positive. What do you guys think? Are people just humoring me in person?
20 -
Online applications are so much worse than the classic snail mail ones, because some companies just don't seem to give a single fuck about the quality of their application application (hehe).
This results in such joyous things like:
• "Allowed file types: doc, docx, pdf, jpg, zip"
• "Max filesize 3mb"
• "One of your files does not meet the requirements" (doesn't tell you which)
• "Upload timed out, please try again"
• 403 forbidden
• "Your account does not have the necessary permissions to upload more than 4 files at once"
• clicking the submit button leads to a 404
• "Please explain why you want to work for us." 500 character limit
• Google forms2 -
Going to create a couple of cron jobs that delete stuff from database.
What could possibly go wrong? ;)6 -
Got a few Jira tickets reassigned to me because the dev who was supposed to work on them got stuck on another project. It's fine, that happens.
I open the tickets. No descriptions for all of them. No screenshots for those reported as bugs, nor any replication steps. No attached test cases or, well, ANY useful information.
I talk to our BA, he says that all information I need are in OTHER tickets on ANOTHER BOARD that business manages but I DON'T HAVE ACCESS TO. Honestly, these shitfucks could've just done simple copy/paste. But nooooo...
So I reassign all the tickets back to their original reporters (business testers) with comments requesting more information.
It's been a week. Now I have no idea what to put in my time sheet.1 -
Why would someone hire you to build a website, constantly say that you don’t know business, never give you anything you ask for, berate you for asking questions about what they want the website to be like, “that’s your job”, all while expecting under $500? Because they’re stupid, that’s why. Oh also, they now want an app instead of a website because their generic-ass domain name was taken already. Fffffffffff7
-
FUCKING google doesn't allow our country to buy FUCKING partner or reseller program.
So what the fuck do we do as an agency, we have to fucking treat every domain and google business suites as seperate entities.
WHAT THE FUCK IS THE SHIT WITH THAT?
WE HAVE TO FUCKING KNOW THEIR ADMIN PASSWORD TO FUCKING MANAGE THEIR GOOGLE SUITE ACCOUNTS.
IT IS A FUCKING NIGHTMARE.
I HATE GOOGLE FOR THAT REASON ALONE.
I can care less of how much data you gonna steal from me.4 -
My CEO uncle: "anyone can program."
A quote from when we were discussing strategy for my sit down with the CEO of a company I was applying at (FYI, his advice was to research the company, be familiar with their long term strategies and such). I get that there's no need to prove my technical prowess to a business exec, but it isn't because "anyone can program."
I mean, sure, in a philosophical sense, anybody has the capacity to learn. But developers aren't a fungible asset. Treating them as such leads to ruin.3 -
Have any one used Skype for business, It seems to me it has down syndrome.
They cant just make a simple think work.12 -
Business: We want this exactly like [insert competitor’s web product].
Me: Oh, so like [this major obvious feature]?
Business: Oh no! Not that! Everything else but that!… You have everything you need right?
Me: …🤦♂️1 -
Dev team: This part of the app has a shitty ux. We want to fix it after we finish this feature.
Business: hey guys we think we lack data so we got some users to check our page with shitty ux and see if they think it is shit
User: yeah it’s shit
Great use of resources you chucklefucks6 -
Why do most people think that machine learning is the answer to their poor business decisions. I have recently had a client who won't stop talking about how his business will grow to Google's scale if I get the model to 97% accuracy . Regardless to say his data is noisy and unstructured. I have tried to explain to him that data cleansing is more important and will take most of the time but he only seems to care about the accuracy and how he is losing investors because I haven't reached that accuracy. This is fucking putting alot of pressure on me and it's not becoming fun anymore. I can only hope he achieves his ambitions if I ever get that accuracy (Ps: From the research papers I have read on that problem, the highest accuracy a model has ever got to it 90%)3
-
This business philosophy is relevant no matter which industry, culture or century you're in. In software development a user- or customer-centered design approach is particularly important👌
Via Instagram @alphaimplement 🚀
14 -
(in a meeting between o&m team and business partners to assign priorities to various tasks)
I.T.: So what priority would you put this new task?
Business : it's our 1.
I.T.: ok, and this other one?
B: it's a 1.
I.T.: ... -
so, I quit my corporate 9-5 job in 2020. and decided to move out of the field completely.
Moved to a small, tier 3 city, joined my family manufacturing business, cut off my circle, and completely shut my laptop....
...for 4 months.
then started developing solutions for my business, inventory management, invoicing, accounting, and other small apps.
and finally, after 3 years, in 2023, decided to move back to IT. but not as an employee this time, but as an enterpreneur.
developed a social media app, called Dialogbaaz.
probably coding is a disease that doesnt seem to go away. lets see where it finally takes me!4 -
I didnt thought I have to write this down, but you people dont get standard business logic, so here advice from someone who knows that shit:
- If you wanna get paid, make your own contract and let a lawyer look over it.
- always have a lawyer on retainer and enough money for him/her.
- nothing is real without a signature.
- your clients should know that you're gonna sue them if they don't pay.
- don't go easy on anyone, here an easy way to decide if you should sue:
Didnt pay? Sue.
Breaks contract? Sue
Asks for later payment? Dont
- always code in a killswitch, trust me you're gonna need it.8 -
Starting my first business in my life at 19. I'm so excited, but also so afraid right now. So many thoughts in my head.10
-
everybody in tech who got laid off: "remember your employment is just a business decision"
yeah, no shit
though you all were smart engineers3 -
Ranting about the guy on DevRant.
Business Guy asks me what app I'm using.
Open Midget Porn instead.
If he found out, I'm fucked.4 -
Ok guys, its a Sunday afternoon. Who is hustling like me right now? I'll do whatever it takes to create my own business and depend on myself 👊
I regret lots of wasted time playing games. I should have used all of that time to escape the rat race 💪
No one wants to become a high paid slave forever.8 -
Today some random highschool guy who i barely knew tried to convince me to build for him his "billion dollar" social app while he handles the business side. I burnt that crap with eternal holy fire before he even finished that sentence!1
-
In a call with the big boss of the huge company I'm working for:
HER: Yeah, this MUST be in the next release or we better not even release
She's talking about a fucking carousel to let the user know its stuff has been merged, I get the point! It's important, but do you fucking realize that the user is currently NOT EVEN LOGGING IN?
HOW TF IS YOUR PROBLEM WHAT THEY SEE ONCE INSIDE THE PLATFORM IF THEY CAN'T EVEN LOG THE FUCK IN?
FUCKING BUSINESS BITCH JUST SAYING WHAT HAS TO BE DONE AND THEN PRENTEDING SHIT TO ACTUALLY WORK PROPERLY5 -
That one client who feels entitled to immediate feedback and response from you, yet they're not paying you on retainer and know good and well that you have other clients. Then they get condescending in their emails and cop an attitude when you (nicely I might add) advise them to find another developer if they want people to micro manage.
Yeah, I just fired that client. Not dealing with this anymore. Good thing about being a contractor is that you have the freedom to walk and have a backup plan. And if they try to come back, I'm hiking the rates if I even take them back at all.
😎✌️ -
"Someone studied rich people for years and this is the five habits you should start having"
FFS, if I read this headline one more time...5 -
Are junior developers expected to make business logic decisions? There's one that my boss wants to know my opinion of, and I'm thinking, "fuck, I don't know, why should I make that decision?" Or is that part of what developers have to learn?9
-
!rant
"If you want to find the secrets of the universe, think in terms of energy, frequency and vibration."
Nikola Tesla
If you want to understand your business, think in terms of customers, problems, and solutions.6 -
"Hey business, we've done some style changes in a new test evnvironent, can you check to see everything looks fine?"
"Page Y (which you've never heard of before) looks terrible!"
"It does! Sorry" - go check the page on the other test environment.
That's just what it looks like.1 -
Business idea:
- Buy some big old computer.
- Sell them as quantum computer.
- Get cash and run away.
Currently this idea may work. 🤔3 -
I can't help but wonder if business folks have a ranting platform where they curse developers and biz partners. Any takers for bizrant.io? 😁4
-
I am strong technically, resourceful, with good analytical thinking, but I suck at comms. I lack patience and I struggle with communicating in a politcorrect business-friendly language when reaching out to other technical teams. I feel and behave as if they were all local folks, as if in a walking distance from my desk, when irl they [the client] may as well be on a diff continent
How can I improve? Anyone else had a similar problem? How did you overcome it?
Is this nuance going to be a problem in a career path past the senior chair?
What do you reckon?4 -
Most useless feature?
Any this business seems to think is the next great way to make their lives easier - by adding 500 more steps into an already complex series of cowboy processes.
I love and hate my job some days 🤦♂️1 -
So my dad calls me because my uncle is freaking out about how a client messaged him and he doesn't know how to check if he can do what them asked him to. I tour them around the website he's using (as he understands little to none of it, and my dad doesn't use the site regularly so he's not versed into it as well) as to where they're supposed to look and they go check this one tab. In it, there's info of what is sold out in what day. And for each day it says "day x - y sold out" and he asks me what day it is that y things are sold out, and that it is confusing, and I'm like "are you serious it's right there". Goddamn it this guy sometimes
-
Cognizant ( A software giant in India)
Interviewer: What does your father do?
Applicant: Business
Interviewer: What business?
Applicant: Jewellery!
Interviewer: Nice. We'll let you know. Thank you. -
Why doesn't Skype of business have an application for Linux? Every company meeting where a developer isn't involved is run on sfb. Being on Ubuntu it is hard to attend any such meeting. Any meeting between developers is on zoom so we're good.
We can't really convince every one (other than developers) to start using zoom.
Do we have any other alternatives? Is this a lost cause?20 -
Feedback from an interview the other day, technically you are top of the candidates but you aren't as business friendly!
Wtf is business friendly?
I'm through to final stage with one other who is more business friendly.
Any possible ideas what business friendly is?11 -
Please share the weirdest business logic you had to implement!
I remember having to filter certain categories and specific movies based on ID that were.. Well.. German porn.. Hardcoded Ids, not proud2 -
Junior dev here.
I'm removing features that are worth days of work because business requirements weren't properly defined with the business owner. Disheartening.2 -
what's your expirience with business intelligence / data science? Do your company has a own department for it?
If so how does it affect you?2 -
Tomorrow I have my colloquium (the final examination) of my bachelor's degree in Business Informatics. Wish my luck.3
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ML Dude: “Hey see what I did with this python code. It is so clean and dope”
Business Boss: “Well Done.”
ML Dude: “It is a nice approach don’t you think.”
Business Boss: “How does this put a money in my business account?”
ML Dude: “Ehmmmm”2 -
Tech management and leadership are the most toxic and cancerous folks of any organisation.
In all my past experience, I have encountered nut jobs.
If it were just me, then entire product or design org won't be suffering. What helps me confirm this hypothesis is every engineer who work for such retards is suffering and fighting for their existence.
We have monkey business going on with our CTO and his ass licking engineering head. -
Needed money for my company, not enough clients to support business on SaaS alone. Took on a 5k / month job building a platform that competes with my SaaS (more niche, less generic). Also sign up new client who that company's owner is part owner onto my current SaaS. Win / Win?
I do a lot of custom work to my platform to fulfill their needs, which is why I ran out of time for the 5k / mo project. I did these customization for free. Losing money to keep client, but also improving my system.
Work gets busy, I need to drop the 5k project. Client is upset I am working more on his other company (he is not majority owner). I return 1 month of funds to the owner and say I cannot continue.
Owner threatens to make other company that he is part owner stop working with my software if I do not complete project. Blacklisting...great. I agree to work with an overseas developer to do it and PM it for 3 months at least. Making nearly nothing from it (now 1k / month for PM), working nights to deal with India, losing sleep...
Other company suddenly folds due to conflict of egos with that SAME owner. Users drop from 16 to 1. I drop the project, no more strong arming me. Everything is a loss, all effort and money lost for nothing. Bad bet..however...
Owner becomes 100% owner of the other company, and of the software company. I transition him to PM his own project, he still uses my software because It doesn't, nor will it, ever do what the one he is building does. Also, partners from previous company break off and use my software again. New Client. #profit.
But holy hell was it stressful in the interim. People's business tactics are disgusting. Stay calm, play it neutral. Win. Sometimes you have to do what you don't want to do in order to succeed...at least for a little bit.
I was so scared that how he screwed his partners he would screw me over as well if I built one of the modules I have planned for my System, but haven't done yet.
If I did it for him first and then built my own (totally diff codebase) I really didn't want to run into any legal issues considering the schematics he has now are mine, but I didn't finish that part of the system for him. He is obivously highly competitive. Even though he wanted me to, and still does, want me to run his company for him.
Who knows, maybe in the future. To be CTO / COO of two SaaS CRM's in the same space may make sense. But I will never sell my software to him or partner with him. Too much drama. Avoid the drama. Be careful out there fellas.
If you are a creator, people will take advantage of you in every way imaginable. Read the fine print, read the people, document everything. Don't put yourself at risk. -
In a previous job, I was trying to organize a common repository with our shitty business partner so we could both be able to contribute our part so our work would not overlap. Not like they cared anyways.
One thing I quickly noticed is those fuckers would just straight up commit untested changes on master and cripples our whole testing and prod deployment at times because we were depending on a shitty IoT service they provided us onto which we had no control whatsoever.
I told my boss, who was often complaining about them being unreliable in the first place, I would simply restrict them from merging and commiting to develop or to master without my approval. We cannot keep working like this.
He told me that we could not impose on them our work practices and that I should not try to piss them off. To be diplomatic.
I politely and professionally refused to do it, but he did change his mind in the end. He and I left not too long after. I guess he felt obliged to respond that having his job at stake but you cannot condone voluntarily shitty work. -
Companies are laying workers off these days like it's nothing.
My company dismissed (just within my department) 90 out of 129 workers — that messed me up.
However, though, my team experienced just a partial effect: 2 Senior devs are needed out of 3 — mid and junior devs are going. I literally had to re-interview for my role again, since they need to keep only 2 senior engineers.
To cut the long story short, I was the first selected candidate — grateful I still have my job. But, I'm sad to see the disruption.
I understand that at the end of the day, it's all business, but mehnnn ...
Is anyone going through the same thing here?
How y'all coping?2 -
I HATE the idea of only releasing on pre-determined schedules despite work being completed and just waiting for that day to arrive.
I'm a co-founder of a small software company. We have partnered with another particular company that also writes software. Some of our clients have access to paid content of that company's services through our application.
Every once in a while, our clients will report issues with that company's service to us, because they access it through our application. They think it's our issue.
We then pass the report on to the partner company, telling them that their stuff is broken. Their reply goes like this:
"Ok. We'll get the bug fix scheduled, and we'll release it next Thursday."
"Next Thursday? The issue is now, they can't use the service."
"That's our scheduled release date."
O.M.G.
We voluntarily walked away from our safe, cushy jobs working for other people, taking enormous pay cuts to start this company. Now, we're 6+ years in, disrupting established fat-and-happy competitors in this space. I GUARANTEE you that if we had that same attitude, we would have been absolutely obliterated early on.
We are quick. Guided by kanban boards, our suite of unit tests and integration tests is vast and kick-ass. With continuous integration and the click of a button we know if we broke something or if the piece we're working on is ready to be pushed to production, IMMEDIATELY. Our "release schedule" is when the damn thing is complete.
It isn't all bad. Our integration with them has been beneficial for both of us. I just loathe their snail's pace which negatively affects our mutual customers. It can make us look bad, and we can do nothing about it.
Blah.3 -
Has anybody ever worked with a shady company where you don't even know the company structure? Like CEO and administration?6
-
Is there a chance to realize your business project? What to do with competition and increasing costs for office maintenance?12
-
!rant
As a company director that’s just starting out down my freelance journey, I still find it so scary taking money out of the business, even though I know I have the money to replace it.
The spectre of getting my taxes wrong even though I’ve got established accountants looking out for me is insane. -
Am I the only one who gets intimidated when shit its roof?
Yesterday, during crucial business hours, one of the major OMS db column type got overflowed. Caused around 30 mins downtime and then later, pool of all connections with high concurrent requests flushed down stream which caused thunder herd.
One by one.. all services went down; Fucking java service couldn't even start because of load..
This is the moment I fell in love with GoLang. We shard request using GoLang service, it just started and picked up the load beautifully..
At the end, it is around 6 millions business loss, but a good lesson learned :) -
Sudden changes in requirements. Business now wants a switch for this whole fucking project. They knew this fucking months ago and decided to tell us now. What the frikkity truck I just can't even2
-
I now that this can be a sort of business, but why Avast will suggest an abonnement where you pay more at the end?
Abbonamento = Abonnement
Anno = Year
Mese = Month
Consigliato = Recommended
15 -
PM:"I don't care how you dev build it, those are tech details, not my business, I only care about the business domain."
sounds familiar?
this is the main reason why so many projects failed, can you image any professional use such an asshole statement in other industry.1 -
Has anyone else worked in business environments and found... em.. "wannabe-tech decisions?"
For example, naming stuff with shortened words and underscores instead of spaces.... for no real reason? Or maybe using the word "database" a little too often, just to use the word? (similar to the way you might call someone by name, only to confirm to them that you have learned their name?)
It doesn't actually bother me, rather, I think it's a bit cute that these people are interested in our culture and want to be a part of it, even if it's in sort of silly ways like this.4 -
It’s amazing when people come in for an interview and say, ‘Can you tell me about your business?’ Seriously, people. There’s an Internet. Look it up.6
-
If you look at the "lightweight business laptops" or business netbooks section of the market you'll notice almost all of them seem to have 4gb
Bitch, thats barely enough to run windows 10.
Looks like a market opening. If I were still doing upgrades and repairs I'd blame everything on low memory (well, a lot of slowness can loosely be attributed to lack of memory) and upsell new machines with more and better ram. Target 6gb, which is cheaper than 8 and offers a minor but noticeable boost, just enough to passably justify the increased cost to whoever is responsible for authorizing the upgrade.
I don't understand whats so hard to grasp about this. It's like companies trip over dollars to pick up dimes.2 -
Not as much a rant as interest, but did any of you guys recently start a business or witnessed the start of one? I really wanted to know how those find the services and tools that get them off the ground or enhance the business, is there lists with "must have" services for specific business categories etc?14
-
Whelp, looks like sony will soon own the entire Japanese media import market in North America (again).
Unfortunately, it also means they're breaking up otter media, which means that vrv will be reduced to nothing. I would imagine that this will spell the end for either the Crunchyroll or Funimation brand in the not too distant future.
https://theinformation.com/articles...4 -
Employment first while building your future business on the side. Business in the future. Passive and residual income is the key.
2 -
I made a game dev friend from a forum. Later we went in business together and now we have a really strong friendship. And our business is doing great.2
-
why is it everybody wants to hire a head of a department all the time
like that's just super weird to me
wouldn't it make more sense to hire someone into a lower position, have them learn from head of a department, then get promoted because you know they'll head the department to your standards then?
but most posts want you to already be head of a department... and it's like, I don't know your department. what the hell happened to the last head of department? why do so many people need heads of department? why the hell are they choosing to get them from outside the company?
somehow none of this makes any sense to me
like I'm literally just so confused why people hire seniors and expect them to automatically know the way the company does things
it just literally doesn't make sense
promote your underlings? then hire more underlings to sus them out?
WHY ARE YOU HIRING SENIOR STAFF FROM OUTSIDE YOUR COMPANY, LITERALLY NOBODIES, AND GIVING THEM TONS OF AUTONOMY AND CONTROL OVER OTHERS IN YOUR COMPANY, THATS SO CONFUSING
worse yet I hear most people just lie when they apply so it's like... are you rotating irresponsible lying people through senior positions at your company over and over again, as they attrition your underlings and eventually get fired for incompetence?
WHAT IS THE STATE OF THIS ECOSYSTEM5 -
You would think that one might get used to the following scenario, but it still pisses me off every time it happens. I'm getting a design created by the customer that is specific to a pixel-level. The product I create in turn is very close to a 100% match visually and functional. And then a few days later, the work already done, I get renewed versions of the same designs. Just like that. With all those nooks and crannies replaced and new ones added, as if it didn't took time, effort and experience to make them functional in the first place. And no one blinks an eye. Not the customer, not our project managers. So after having me built you intricate card board house, you just smash it and tell me to rebuild? It's not always a huge deal but it happens so often and I guess it's part of the "customer is king" mentality, but it's bullshit. If the customer hands in a final design, then that's it. Any changes afterwards need to be paid extra. Otherwise it feels like I'm wasting my time and those changes will not get the same quality treatment for sure.1
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Anyone in here have experience with UML in the real entreprise world?
As a student I've learned a lot about documentation and software architectural design, I've worked 3 different places and worked with customers that were developers and all of them seemed to not really do architecture and documentation that well. Personally I find having an overview/guideline for bigger project really helpful
how come you don't see better software documentation and UML out there?
Maybe I just haven't found the right place yet2 -
I have legitimately identified an 9 figure (possibly more) market with 1. massive demand, 2. sufficient supply, 3. literally, I kid you not, zero companies in the field. No regulations to speak of.
The overhead is trivial and it is very much a network-effect based market.
No I am not joking. Yes this is real.
What do?
edit: 9 figures not 8. Yes it's that big.12 -
For those who are involved/want to be involved in a start-up (or even if you just like a good blog), look up James Altucher. He writes really entertaining and informative stuff about entrepreneurship, software, and good advice about keeping stress under control, coming up with ideas, and staying positive.1
-
Dad: I want you to marry a girl of my choice.
Son: No
Dad: The girl is Bill Gate's daughter.
Son: Then Ok.
Dad goes to Bill Gates.
Dad: I want your daughter to marry my son.
Bill Gates: No
Dad: My son is the CEO of the World Bank.
Bill Gates: Than ok
Dad goes to the President of the World Bank.
Dad: Appoint my son as the CEO of your bank.
President: No
Dad: He is the son-in-law of Bill Gates.
President: Then OK
That's business...!!2 -
I feel like premium content should be available via paid (ad-free), free (ads), or through web user small scale crypto mining, at the users discretion obviously.
I don't get why we have to have these ad blockers and ad creators trying to one up each other. The *option* for low-performance crypto mining while on the page would be cool to have as a choice.3 -
I love business ya know, always soo damned smart.
Our current products code base is soo old it will literally up and stop working come December, from April we cannot launch new clients on it.
The new app should be production ready, at least the MVP with our most essential features.
A week from tomorrow a new senior dev starts so that he can build new features into the current app. -
Screw DataStage
Screw Saleforce
Screw the $25k/week Vendor who finishes work maybe 60% complete, if I’m being generous.
Screw the business rushing to us to fix their shadow IT cluster.5 -
I adhere to the Socratic method. I don't like people in business who 'explain' things to others by stating "this is obvious" and "this is obvious" about various aspects of very business-specific rules.
No, it's not 'obvious', explain to me ad minutae how something works if you want to transfer your mental image to mine.3 -
I finish my internship in dev the next week and my supervisor wants to hire me as a Business Analyst, for that I have to pass some tests in an assessment center.. I hope I will success it ! 👊1
-
I'm in a midlife crisis.
TL;DR: Trying to make a living by teaching people how to code.
I've started a business in my local town where people can join to learn more about programming. Currently most events are free and everyone can join, I spend many hours creating these events and get little in return.
Many people have asked so how can you make money on this? My answer is by having 1-2 days of intensive workshops. The issue however is if I would have one of these, I'm 100% sure that nobody will attend, so for that reason my goal is to run these free events and get as many members as possible until I have some serious buyers that want to pay for the workshops.
I'm kinda stuck in the mud. Don't know where to start, or how to go with these workshops so I can get payed. It sounds like I only care about money, but that is not the case, I love to teach and want to make a living from it.
At this moment, it feels like I'm giving away free knowledge without getting anything back... But at the same time, I feel I must in order to gain some traffic/interest for my company.
I would love some feedback of what strategy works best, how can I go from free to payed, what would you do if you were in my shoes?4 -
Start a business, it'll be fun they said. One of those days you'll realise that you're in a situation where you'll have to fire a friend from your engineering team, there's no way around it..
People keep on thinking and saying
"You're so lucky, you can choose the clients and the team, and work whenever you want to.."
Yep. Highest highs and lowest lows go hand in hand. Thank god there's both.2 -
Need a new business name idea for a web based software house. We are 2 weeks into choosing one and no progress :D help!15
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Getting tired of old business types managing software projects... I really don’t care if you have fifty years of experience in managing loans in banks, please don’t try to manage software or data projects... this is sooo out of your realm of understanding.
PS I actually like this person, they are a wonderful human, but keep nosing in areas they have no knowledge, and derail the conversation from talking about things we actually need to discuss. Like “how do we build this?”5 -
Who says 'Hmm' in a business chat???!!!
For God's sake, at least have some mannerisms before joining a business discussion. Did 'OKAY' or 'OK' have too many letters to type??!!!!!11 -
To all the business owners, it's good to have employee's. It means you get to do their jobs besides your own too.1
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Making software is science. I'm not talking about overengineering, just doing things right (with a minimum of automated testing, abstraction, architecture easy to modify, stuff like that). If you don't wan't to invest money in science, but only in business, get external providers for parts of your product, if not all of it. Stop making custom stuff that already exists, unless you can make something better (because it most probably ain't be cheaper, regardless the quality level).2
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Not a rant, a question.
So I am planning to build an ecommerce website for my business, is it sensible to make it from scratch and if not then what existing solutions I can use
Urghhhhhgg, really confused3 -
When business people are so fucking shit at their job, you need the damn devs to do their job for them and ask about KPIs and alternative business models
-
worst: choosing to be a business student instead of studying computer science
best: finally graduating from business school, and now i have time to concentrate on coding fully -
Messy business rules results in messy code base results in unhappy programmers results in high turnover rate results in more messy code results in falling business
-
It's been for a while that I'm dreaming about food ordering company where I can choose from the different foods in the way of: " I want 100g rice, 150g brokkoli, one baked potato...". Probably the calorie would be automatically added up maybe even the macros. The assembled packages for a week will come every day or single order would be possible as well. It's a so beautiful idea. Here we have some similar companies but they deliver raw stuff so there's still a hustle to cook it... And of course there is the fastfood nightmare... Imagine you could eat stuff you assemble yourself, you know the calories as well and there is no overhead of shopping and cooking. Basically every single all-you-can-eat could implement the idea. I'm really sorry that there's no such service. :( One day if I get really angry I will start it...1
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I just finished posting this but think it deserves its own post.
If you're creating a business or "startup" (as people like to call it these days) don't assume the idea is novel or investors will just jump on board. Focus on the business fundementals, money and cash flow, even before launch, unless you can afford not to. But really you can't afford not to. Selling before launch means that you're effectively doing two things 1 you're collecting new customers and income for the business and 2 you're. raising awareness at the same time. Obscurity is death and failure.
Get you a good sales team and marketer when the time is right.
Have a year of runway.
Identify the sites and groups your target audience and investors frequent. Start conversations now, buzz is the hardest thing to generate.
Start building relations with customers and potential clients now. Discuss launch, ask them if they'd be willing to pay up front before launch, in order to secure a "lifetime membership", offer it as an early opportunity and charge extra. Giving a discount out of the gate is a mistake B/c it says to potential investors that you don't think it's ready or worth it yet. Of course if it's between making 1. Some money or 2. No money, don't let it be a deal breaker, offer a discount. Going from no clients to any clients is a BIG deal. If you can do 1 you can make it to 10, if 10, you can reach 100, we etc.
No one likes asking for money and yet it is as important if not more important than development. -
Talking about Skype, more specifically Skype for Business, how hard is it for MS to implement a nice way to switch chats between mobile and desktop? When a colleague sends me a message on Skype and I open it on my phone it won't show up on my desktop for at least a few minutes. WHY?!
-
Level 1 support moron dishing out bad instructions from his flowchart.
Wanted me to edit config files for a production setup, which would've killed shipping for all stations, in the middle of our shipping rush.
Fixed the problem while in the escalation queue for level 2. L2 confirms the fix, and bemoans the shit documentation L1 provided.
If its a business class (mission critical) system, hire decent support staff! You might try testing people for reading/listening comprehension, and then paying them a decent wage! This isn't good for my blood pressure... -
If I'll ever start a business I have some gold rules for it:
- what you're doing (the difficulty of a project) decides your partial salary, and not the time you're working on it
- if you take a lot of time working on something that should have taken less, you'll be controlled by your supervisor BUT he/she must be gentle and friendly, he/she should be able to understand your problem. If there is something that really could have taken so much time, the partial salary will be higher, otherwise, you'll get a strike
- after some strike you'll be "reviewed", we must understand if you're joking or you really want this work.
- there must be a lot of free time, we don't like stress
- your supervisor (as written before) must be gentle and friendly. If these qualities aren't met we must find a new supervisor (of course there will be a survey)
- you should come to work with a smile, if an activity is too much stressful you should report it, and take a pause (here comes the free time)
- I don't care if you have a degree, what you CAN do is what I'm searching for.16 -
A non-relationship database system with drag and drop + business process flows. It was fun at first, but like my Android phone, it slowed the **** down so much that it affected business operations. Must have been their evil plan all along.
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//rant
Two weeks ago we delivered four parts from a request containing about 30 minor developments to ease general every day operations.. this week my boss demanded a specified fallout report about how those cut our expenses and costs, how many percentage those four of the total amount of savings all 30 developments would save and whatnot.
ARE YOU FUCKING SHITTING ME!? They've been in prod for ONE god damn week and the intended operations are not even launched yet! How about you go and CHILL THE FUCK DOWN!? I understand that whole part about growing business and getting it to stay alive, but you sir.. you.. GAAAH!! -
Successfully moved out of my current team and got assigned in Business Analyst track of my organization. Now that I’ve joined the dark side, should I stop using DevRant? Or is it a fairly technical role as well?6
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The go-getter boss sets us up on basecamp. ( Mind you, this is just two weeks after starting us on Slack )
The first topic of discussion he puts out is "What would you suggest to improve meetings?" Considering the business genius has cancelled the past 5 office meetings, I replied with "The key to a successful meeting is actually having them."
Basecamp's been pretty quite ever since.1 -
Your project is never complete. There will always be one business guy who'll report a feature as a bug.
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After learning programming language, Which one earning source is the best one?
A) YouTube
B) Freelancing
C) IT Job
D) Own Business38 -
I will be enjoying the greatest freedom on the day when all the sites with lots of adds and very low or little information will be wiped.1
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Got dragged into business meeting. Said stupid things because I didn't know they were secrets... Can't wait to get chewed out. Why am I not just a code monke?!?!2
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Today I got a change request that told me I needed to create a report showing orders broken down by their order types as percentages.
Now the order types part involve SQL queries that translate business rules into multiple table joins and it's quite nasty (200 + lines or so).
Naturally the change request doesn't mention any of these business rules and how to tell that orders are of a specific type... but alas!
It teaches me how to calculate a percentage :)
... like "10 / 100 * 100 = 10%"
I don't know whether to laugh or feel insulted.2 -
I believe that there are 2 paths. Either a successful job(a really high salary) or building your own business. Which do you prefer? I prefer to have my own business.
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Did you know that 94% of the start-up businesses struggle on the very verge, during their first year of operation? Why, because they didn’t know how to finance a start-up business. Know how to finance a startup business and what are the means of getting small business loans for your startup.
https://readosapien.com/how-to-fina...4 -
A bit of a follow up on my last rant (https://www.devrant.io/rants/362638). Cause now I have two weeks to work through this shit. The title somewhat translates to "business administration for credit institutes"
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confessions[1]
I've started way too many projects. Even more than the number of times I've shopped clothes for myself. But I rarely complete anything ever. Once the learning phase is over and I've to actually do the typing out the code part, I lose interest and leave the project and start new ones. -
How did you guys get your business running once you were freelancing? Did you do subcontract work for your old employee or just start fresh with a bunch of customers?1
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We regularly have deadlines set before they've worked out anything about what's in the release, and business takes their time, so we're literally told "we don't know what business is going to want, but we have to start coding now to meet the deadline"
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This is a Shark Tank related question. I've seen some investors say "I lost money investing in this business or that business" and I'm curious what happens after that.
Let's say I gave you 10% of equity for $1 million and my business didn't make it.
Or I partied too much and blew it all.
What would happen to me then?11 -
Some just know how to talk the walk. Wanna pitch a ridiculous idea but don't know how to execute the plan. I give up on people these days.1
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Couple months ago I mentioned that the product group needed to involve engineering when making promises to the business. Otherwise they were going to write checks our asses can't cash.
Welp, now the situation has happened and I pointed out that a lot of things have been promised for delivery that we haven't planned for or even seen in engineering. And things that I have been harping on haven't even been accounted for and, unlike business promises, these are legal requirements. Now I'm the asshole because I pointed this shit out in front of the whole team.1 -
From the career point of view, I've seen many programmers, more or less, in the long run, specialize in the industry|ies they've been working, so the business practices, ins and outs and logics became part of their strong point in that|those industry|ies.
But I found myself on the opposite side, I could care less about the business's practices, etc. because in the end I'm mostly passionate about reaching some technical satisfying accomplishment or a novel approach to solve some kind of problem or just learn new approaches.
So when I'm handed info mostly focused on business practices|logics I just boringly read through it.
How about you?
Obviously business problems and technical feasibility to solve them overlap. But wouldn't be better to have people capable to express their issues more from technical points of view than talking nonsense to someone who's clueless about the business <.<?1 -
I am busy with multiple projects simultaneously, and this... very nice business guy that I've been working with for the past year just decides to send me a message telling me that I should send our sysadmin a message and ask why he can't login to our ticketing system... You have him in your contacts, I'm not your fucking butler holy shit...
For context, I rarely ever work together with the sysadmin, and he's quite easy to reach1 -
Really frustrating is when business asks you to finish large tasks in an unreasonable amount of time (4-8 hours). As a Medior developer, my speed is not at hours, but at days/weeks. Perhaps if I were a Senior with absolute mastery I could achieve such speeds.
They don't seem to understand programming takes a lot of thinking, testing, debugging and communicating, which not always necessarily sync. Some people are busy and others are jerks.3 -
Currently in talks with a designer girl about collaborating and coding her designs.
I've put forward my deal and the price for the work I offered to do.
Will she say yes? Will this deal happen?
Let's wait and see.3 -
Just when I thought a project I'm analyzing has done a good implementation, I found out that they got lazy and started writing business logic DIRECTLY into models!! Now stuff is tightly coupled that extracting it will cause unknown effects.
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Is it possible to get through a work week without hearing about a surprise requirement when the deployment is supposed to be one week from now?
Bonus points: One week from now, deployment is delayed due to more whatever shit they forgot to take care of in the biz side1 -
I recently recommended that we fix a gap in the current CSRF implementation.
I’m asked by a fucking business guy that if we haven’t seen an issue till now, why is this a priority?
Should I demo the vulnerability? Why can’t they fucking trust the people that they hire? It’s not like I wanna do it for some selfish motive. -
Going out of order, because I need to rant 😆 https://www.devrant.io/rants/311992
Worst enterprise software forced to use:
Lync/Skype for Business
I've used a lot of crappy systems. But being forced to use this is painful. On Linux I make it somewhat bearable by using Pidgin but that has its limitations (no file sharing, etc.)....but after attempting to use the "new" Skype for Business it doesn't do that simple task either...so Lync 2011 ***2011*** for me. It's 2016, they know that right?2 -
Business: The feature is not as aspected.
Dev: This is what you asked for.
Business: I ask for something else.
Dev: Please refer to the documentation.
Business: F**k with document.
Dev: You only the documentation. -
Does anyone in here use skype for business in their work !? How fucking incompetent it is at doing what it should be doing !? If we wanted disappearing messages, we could have used whatever the fuck we wanted.. Not skype from microsoft. Why does my messages get lost, because skype thinks it is not important enough to save ? A line of text is barely a KB..
Also whats the deal with the UI idea of creating seperate windows for chat..? One fine day i am gonna go on a rampage and tear apart my computer because of that incompetent shit..6 -
What's the best way to deal with constant dread? I deployed code after following every procedure, got every kind of thumbs up from QA and now it's my fault our 2012 admin site borked. Should I point out all the obvious flaws (again), or should I give up on our stagnant-ass developers and systems?
The fear of showing off anything new is crippling. I wrote up a Pyton API to hook into our current pipeline over lunch breaks but am worried if I even raise it as an option it'll just be cast aside and lost to time, regardless of business value. -
For a project I'm working on:
Does your work allow you to sign in to your personal accounts for i.e. Gmail or Facebook on your work device?
Do you think this should be allowed?
Do you do it yourself?
I imagine it's a gray area. I'm even thinking it could be a security risk? But maybe healthier too to keep business and private life separate? Thoughts?4 -
Finally after 3 fucking months, 15-20 fucking meetings, I got sign off for a feature release. The development took 3 weeks and was completed in March end.
I know being a financial institution and feature was regarding system handling funds, business guys need to worry a bit as any mistake in code can mess up the funds disbursal. But fuckers took 3 months to give sign off.
However, it's finally released and I can relax for now. #peace -
Today I pass an assessment test to be hire as Business Analyst / Business Intelligence, I'm stressed about it because I'm just finishing the school, I got this possibility because I made a really good internship1
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Paystubscity can assist your business in generating and printing the necessary documents for its operations. We produce W-2s, 1099s, and more to facilitate your business's smooth operation and ensure compliance with legal and financial requirements.
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Hey guys,
What books had the biggedt impact on how you live your life, conduct your business, the way you code or make decisions?
I'm reading "Zero to One" for the second time now and love reading it all over again.10 -
So I take a business class that is offered at my school and currently the whole class is working together to make a business.
Well me being me I get assigned to lead the website part of the business but we have a bunch of extra people in the group so I sit down with them, and I ask them a few questions like “have you done any web development before?” Or “do any of you have experience with photoshop?” Well I’m the only one who knows how to do anything, I’m also the youngest.
This is go my to be a long year -
My boss, Business people call dev code monkey bec they act as money is shown, like monkey likes banana! Dances Which is kinda wired like what they think we are (felt like shit)3
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What do you have on your business card and what should i put on mine?
I was thinking "Technical Analyst" but i dunno...4 -
So I'm tasked with creating a single sign on link using documentation from the third party we are logging into. So far so good.
Well they don't support some of the fields our users will need--that we don't want to support (otherwise why use a third-party?).
Their solution is to make us the system of record so that when a user goes through the single sign on we pass this info as well. But it needs to be editable on their side well--because they won't give us an API for our system of record to update their side.
That's right only a user signing on from our system will update their side. Tough luck admins on our side. You get double duty due to the poor business decision to work with a company with lazy devs. -
Started my design/development agency in Jan. I work both direct to client and also on a whitelabel basis for other agencies and developers.
My 2nd biggest client is one of the said whitelabel clients. Unfortunately he has been unwell for a few weeks and is now taking another 3 weeks off. This week I have had to take over the running of his business (from a client and development standpoint) to ensure projects don't fall behind...they're already 2 weeks overdue with new RFQs coming in thick and fast. All this whilst running my own business.
Yesterday was a 16hr day and it doesn't look like it is going to let up :|
At least it's billable I guess?1 -
That moment when the business expects you to work 60 hours and be available 24/7 to support rollout, but won't subject their team to the same.
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What are some cool titles/position I can put on a my business card? It's kinda lame if I just put Software Engineer there. Lol10
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The genius businessman Isaacs Schlueter, who sold a common tool npm to GitHub, forced a breaking change to block yarn in a minor upgrade in August.
Every decision of trading his users for his own business growth is so obvious, so hostile and so badly executed.
Let us give a moment of silent to the damage he's done to the community, I still see comma-first and colon-skipping as an intentional habit in some open source libraries.
This very commit https://github.com/npm/arborist/... breaks so many things at once.4
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