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Just had the first meeting in the new company I'm working at.
Started at 1:00 pm
Ended at 5:30 pm
Almost had to slap myself in order to stay awake
😴5 -
Why does live streaming to mobile need a cable subscription when I can get the same channel with a HD antenna for free?
Was trying to watch the Thanksgiving parade at my parents. Didn't know they had a working HD antenna so spent an hour trying to cast and find a streaming source...
Then Dad said we do... I just needed to rescan the channels...3 -
Started being a Teaching Assistant for Intro to Programming at the uni I study at a while ago and, although it's not entirely my piece of cake, here are some "highlights":
* students were asked to use functions, so someone was ingenious (laughed my ass off for this one):
def all_lines(input):
all_lines =input
return all_lines
* "you need to use functions" part 2
*moves the whole code from main to a function*
* for Math-related coding assignments, someone was always reading the input as a string and parsing it, instead of reading it as numbers, and was incredibly surprised that he can do the latter "I always thought you can't read numbers! Technology has gone so far!"
* for an assignment requiring a class with 3 private variables, someone actually declared each variable needed as a vector and was handling all these 3 vectors as 3D matrices
* because the lecturer specified that the length of the program does not matter, as long as it does its job and is well-written, someone wrote a 100-lines program on one single line
* someone was spamming me with emails to tell me that the grade I gave them was unfair (on the reason that it was directly crashing when run), because it was running on their machine (they included pictures), but was not running on mine, because "my Python version was expired". They sent at least 20 emails in less than 2h
* "But if it works, why do I still have to make it look better and more understandable?"
* "can't we assume the input is always going to be correct? Who'd want to type in garbage?"
* *writes 10 if-statements that could be basically replaced by one for-loop*
"okay, here, you can use a for-loop"
*writes the for loop, includes all the if-statements from before, one for each of the 10 values the for-loop variable gets*
* this picture
N.B.: depending on how many others I remember, I may include them in the comments afterwards19 -
"We are looking for a GDPR expert to be hired in our company"
"I am an experienced data protection manager"
"Oh, fine! May you give us your phone number?"
"No"
"Your email address?"
"No"
"You're hired"4 -
What's with some devs around here posting their stories of doing shitty things like they're heroes or something?
Oh, you hacked your former boss and destroyed data because he did something you didn't like?
Oh, you tried to work smart, but then essentially defrauded your client by claiming you had to rewrite the app for another platform?
How many other ones?
It's shit like this that make it harder for the honest developers out there to get a client to actually trust us, and that trust is so important for both sides of a contract.
How can a client who was burned by one of these douche bags trust when another developer actually quotes a rewrite of a code base that is fundamentally flawed?
How about a business partner of the one who was hacked. What if they're as honest as can be, but heard the horror story, and now refuses to entrust anything to their developers?
It makes all our jobs harder and makes us all look like shit.
And here you are, posting it up for those precious ++'s.
Fuck you. Either shape up or do us and your clients a favor and choke on your keyboard.7 -
23:04 Client: We need these changes pushed to production before morning.
06:22 Staff: Changes pushed to prod.
<Tells story to manager>
Manager: Sum up the time you've worked on it and double it.
This isn't a special thing, we however have a policy stated in our contracts that all changes must be scheduled with a minimum of 24h before the time they're needed.8 -
I am curious whether facebook IS listening to conversations or not.
Living with my girlfriend in a small appartment, yesterday we were talking about some shitty game we both played around 10 years ago, I was wondering whether the game still exists and googled on my phone (via LTE, not wifi) - yeah the game is still online and still the same shit.
Today she saw facebook sponsored ads to this game on HER facebook.
Today we watched a movie (Valerian and the thousands planets) - and there was this ship which looked similar to Millenium Falcon. I noted that in the midtime. After the movie - guess what - opened the facebook abd there was a sponsored ad to buy Millenium Falcon miniature or lego figure.
How? Randomized events? I do not think so. This was not the first time it happened.
Note: we are not native english speakers, maybe "millenium falcon" could be the only catch fb could achieve?16 -
When your gf isn't a Dev but still tries to surprise you on your birthday with an HTML cake. But your OCD is killing you because of the mistakes
Src: IG - developers_team45 -
Sololearn has probably the dumbest community I've ever seen...
I know that there are lot of beginners who just started learning programming, but if you can't even use the app, I don't think they will be able to learn programming.
Also all these little kiddies who want to get some badass hackers but don't even know how to do a fucking course (There are lots of questions like "Where can I learn HTML" while they are right in the fucking app, like holy sheeet).
Sometimes I browse the Q&A just because there so funny and dumb questions. Really amusing!8 -
So I wanted to send an email to Microsoft to request a feature in their new "To-Do" app.
I went to the play store and scrolled down to the end where it says "Send an email to developer".
Clicked on that. And here is the email address:
"noreply@microsoft.com"
😑 😑13 -
while coding i listen to a combination of FKJ, George Duke, Lalah Hathaway, some snarky puppy ... i'm running out, please what playlist do you use while coding... send soundcloud or youtube urls too. thanks2
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1.Run into issue
2.Go to Stack Overflow
3.Think of best way to phrase the question
4.Find solution while editing post
5.Bang head on desk3 -
Part of my code wasn't working until I changed my class into an id... How was using a class incorrect??19
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ever noticed that a years day can be stored in an 8byte variable?
the creatorz of the universe anticipated computers!
WE LIVE IN A MATRIX!4 -
If y'all need a lil help with clients and conversating, here's my personal way of ending conversations. Just acknowledge it! (If all else fails, take things into consideration)
Friend: I hear that the most viewed youtube video ever is now despacito
> I acknowledge that
*conversation end*
Co-worker: I love my new shoes!
> I acknowledge that
*end*
Hot girl: hey sexy, you're looking fine today
> I acknowledge that
*end*
Client: hey could you add x?
> No
*end*
Sibling: you're adopted
> I acknowledge that
*end*
(Consideration example)
Windows: I will update
> I will take that into consideration
*end*
trogus: I will make a line of debugging ducks with capes with their respective language on it
dfox: I acknowledge that
*end*
Bus driver: sir please wake up the busses are closed
> I acknowledge that *sleeps*
*end*
Python: wrong amount of tabs/spaces
> I acknowledge that *uninstalls python*
*end*
devRant: you are running out of characters for this rant
> I ackno12 -
25 phrases you wish you could say at work more often
(Warning: Contains naughty words...:-)))
1. Ahhh...I see the fuck-up fairy has visited us again...
2. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.
3. How about never? Is never good for you?
4. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
5. I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to worship me.
6. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.
7. I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message...
8. I don't work here. I'm a consultant.
9. It sounds like English, but I can't understand a word you're saying.
10. I can see your point, but I still think you're full of shit.
11. I like you. You remind me of me when I was young and stupid.
12. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
13. I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't give a damn.
14. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
15. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
16. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.
17. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.
18. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.
19. What am I? Flypaper for freaks!?
20. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.
21. It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.
22. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.
23. No, my powers can only be used for good.
24. You sound reasonable... Time to up the medication.
25. Who me? I just wander from room to room17 -
It's sad because Django is a really great framework, but I can't understand how their serializers work.
I finally tricked to make my own using JsonResponse and alternatives methods, but I can't see why there is "serializers", "DjangoJSONEncoder", "JsonResponse", "json.dumps" and so on...
The documentation doesn't explain much about it :/6 -
Dev stickers are for loosers.
No for real, just received the new computer i ordered . i hear my daughter scream something from the other side of the house.
I thought she said:“is this your new computer?”
But actuaylly she said: “can i put stickers on you new computer???”17 -
Please allow me to share my thoughts since I can't totally outrage my frustration because we have this so-called fasting to control our anger towards a person we currently disagree with.
A letter from your loving, sincere, pretty and gorgeous working partner to my young, chubby, smart and clever colleague:
Please do cooperate in times of live editing from the FTP since CTO is not and will never be going to appreciate version control since CTO is too tired for giving a shit and just want deliverables be delivered as fuck perfectly regardless of the resources that we have.
As you know, I tolerated you for not getting the freedom of live editing as what you've experienced from your previous team lead. All I ask of you is to get fresh file from FTP whenever we touch the same file because firstly, God knows how frustrating it is how your hard work is going to be replaced and be gone as much as I do. Secondly, I don't want you to experience how pain in the ass could this be in the long run, and lastly, I don't want any hard feelings to be wasted just because of this.
P.S. I'm too shy to send this to you because I don't want to hurt your feelings and don't want to sound too seriouz and feel old. I also hope we share the same telepathic understanding so we can agree with each other.
Your loving, sincere, pretty and gorgeous working partner,
xoxo ❤️
(thinking of stating my first name) 😂16 -
Life of a junior self-taught dev with a sysadmin job:
1)At work, desperately try to script and automate every task, even when it isn't nessecary.
2)Learn dev skills from tutorials and web courses at every minute of your free time.
3)When returning home get self-guilt because you're procrastinating instead of doing an all-night development like your dev friends
4)The only productive thing you do is more tutorials and courses because you feel your dev skills aren't high enough for a self project
Frustrated.13 -
I REALLY HATE TECHNICAL PHONE INTERVIEWS!!!
I was asked: "What are the differences between C++ and Java?"
I got a mind blank at that point... Good thing it didn't last long and I came back with a reply.
But seriously, if you can't speak English clearly, why? Why? WHY?!
(I lost a whole question because I couldn't understand the interviewer. ☹)
At least it went "well" and now I have to improve the "technical" document and do 2 tests by Monday!11 -
I’ve pretty bad ADHD (diagnosed) my entire adult life, so focus has been a huge struggle for me forever. Here’s my strategy:
- Noise-canceling headphones blasting chiptunes (Spotify has some, but YouTube has the best selection of old-school video game music) I’m usually way less distracted if I listen to music without lyrics.
- A chair cushion (I actually use one of those ridiculous donut ones, but I put a normal sized pillowcase on it. SO comfortable, even after many hours.)
- THE POMODORO METHOD. 25 minutes hardcore coding/debugging, followed by 5 minute intervals for breaks, like checking fb, etc. (Breaks are totally optional if you’re in the zone tho 💪) It’s a great way to reward your brain for focusing.
- And if all else fails, the looming threat of unemployment is always there to keep you motivated 🙃 (Sad but true— always crosses my mind when I’m starting to fall behind on a task)2 -
I appreciate if someone explains this to me:
Designers ask that we put three images in a grid layout on an Android device so that they can compare which image looks better, and guess what is changed in theses three images: font size changes one point in each image.
My question is: Is this normal? Designers need to see it on a screenshot to be able to decide which fits better?9