Interviewer asked "Write SOMETHING on the board"

I wrote "Something"

Me: *busy doing dev stuff with my laptop*

Sis: *looks at my to-do stickies* Hey, what's Log4j?

Me: *without looking away from my screen* it's a library.

Sis: oh, cool! Where is it? Do you have a membership?

Me: Ha-Ha. This is going on devRant.

Few months ago, I ate so many MBs (just 300+ GBs) in a month that my ISP blocked my connection and sent a worker to check if i was sharing my internet connection with neighbours etc. { They say UNLIMITED downloads when selling packages }
I was so pissed that after restoration I wrote autorun-on-startup powershell which keeps downloading a 100MB file forever just to eat bandwidth.
This month my downloads crossed a TB.
I feel like I've pissed in ISP's face just to show that if I'm not eating TBs every month, it doesn't mean i can't do it.

Consultant: "you should deploy a website. Use wordpress and have a draft ready in a few days. It's easy."

Me: "It's a static website, a one-pager even. I think we would be better served with something light-weight without a database."

Consultant: "99% of the websites in the entire internet are powered by wordpress. It's state of the art, you should use it"

Me: 😢 "Nooo, it needs mainentance and stuff. Look, XY is much simpler. You can even version the static site with git"

Consultant: 😤

We ended up with wordpress for our static website now. I am so proud. I absolutely love wordpress. It is amazing. Now my static one-pager can have plugins, multiple users, security issues and all that. The future is now!

!rant
Me to my bf: You smell. Go shower.
Him: I don't feel like it...
Me: Sudo go shower.
Him: Goddamn it Rudi..
*wait for it*
*He showers*
Me: *evil chuckle* I gotta post this to devRant

Friend: "How can I check my ip?"
Me: *opens terminal*
Friend: "is this a virus? Please stop"

As a child:
Look Ma, no training wheels!

As an adult:
Look Ma, no mouse!

when the only solution to your problem is in a youtube video made by a lame 12yo kid

Group projects make me realise why Batman works alone.

"HTML is a language that needs to be compiled"
- Web dev "teacher"

CEO: "What if we invest in our devs (i.e. trainings, certifications) and they leave?"

CTO: "What if we don't and they stay?"

:))))))

what a relief 😂

Friend: What is the easiest way to become a developer?

Me: Just buy an Android phone.

Oh.. I see.. How about pass@123...

A few days ago while browsing devRant, my girlfriend stopped me at this one post and asked why does this person have a rubber duck. I went on to explain her about Rubber Duck Debugging. She was totally amazed by the concept (she's not a techie). Today suddenly a package arrived at my door step from her.

Well now I have an entire family of rubber ducks to code with :D

I am at a loss for words. This JavaScript powers the login of a company's intranet

alexa in action

Git blame strikes again

Binary is easy to teach