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Its that time of the morning again where I get nothing done and moan about the past ... thats right its practiseSafeHex's most incompetent co-worker!!!
Today I'd like to tell you the story of "i". Interesting about "I" is that he was actually a colleague of yesterdays nominee "G" (and was present at the "java interface" video call, and agreed with G!): https://devrant.com/rants/1152317/...
"I" was the spearhead of a project to end all projects in that company. It was suppose to be a cross-platform thing but ended up only working for iOS. It was actually quite similar to this: https://jasonette.com/ (so similar i'm convinced G / I were part of this but I can't find their github ID's in it).
To briefly explain the above + what they built ... this is the worst piece of shit you can imagine ... and thats a pretty strong statement looking back at the rest of this series so far!
"I" thought this would solve all of our problems of having to build similar-ish apps for multiple customers by letting us re-use more code / UI across apps. His main solution, was every developers favourite part of writing code. I mean how often do you sit back and say:
"God damn I wish more of this development revolved around passing strings back and forth. Screw autocomplete, enums and typed classes / variables, I want more code / variables inside strings in this library!"
Yes thats right, the main part of this bullshittery was putting your entire app, into JSON, into a string and downloading it over http ... what could possibly go wrong!
Some of my issues were:
- Everything was a string, meaning we had no autocomplete. Every type and property had to be remembered and spelled perfectly.
- Everything was a string so we had no way to cmd + click / ctrl + click something to see somethings definition.
- Everything was a string so any business logic methods had to be remembered, all possible overloaded versions, no hints at param types no nothing.
- There was no specific tooling for any of this, it was literally open up xcode, create a json file and start writing strings.
- We couldn't use any of the native UI builders ... cause strings!
- We couldn't use any of the native UI layout constructs and we had to use these god awful custom layout managers, with a weird CSS feel to them.
What angered me a lot was their insistence that "You can download a new app over http and it will update instantly" ... except you can't because you can't download new business logic only UI. So its a new app, but must do 100% exactly the same thing as before.
His other achievements include:
- Deciding he didn't like apple's viewController and navigationBar classes and built his own, which was great when iOS 7 was released (changed the UI to allow drawing under the status bar) and we had no access to any of apples new code or methods, meaning everything had to be re-built from scratch.
- On my first week, my manager noticed he fucked up the login error handling on the app I was taking over. He noticed this as I was about to leave for the evening. I stayed so we could call him (he was in an earlier timezone). Rather than deal with his fucked up, he convinced the manager it would be a "great learning experience" for me to do it ... and stay in late ... while he goes home early.
- He once argued with me in front of the CEO, that his frankenstein cross-platform stuff was the right choice and that my way of using apples storyboards (and well thought out code) wasn't appropriate. So I challenged him to prove it, we got 2 clients who needed similar apps, we each did it our own way. He went 8 man weeks over, I came in 2 days under and his got slated in the app store for poor performance / issues. #result.
But rather than let it die he practically sucked off the CEO to let him improve the cross platform tooling instead.
... in that office you couldn't swing a cat without hitting a retard.
Having had to spend a lot more time working with him and more closely than most of the other nominees, at a minimum "I" is on the top of my list for needing a good punch in the face. Not for being an idiot (which he is), not for ruining so much (which he did), but for just being such an arrogant bastard about it all, despite constant failure.
Will "I" make it to most incompetent? Theres some pretty stiff competition so far
Tune in later for more practiceSafeHex's most incompetent co-worker!!!6 -
The company I work for (very big IT consultancy) has made the absolutely genius decision to put a block on the corporate proxy for GitHub. GITHUB. Because no fucking software developer ever needs to visit there. Their reason? "We don't want people publishing our intellectual property". Mate, I can fucking guarantee you that if unscrupulous bastards want to publish code against our T&C's, they will do so. Why make every body else's job harder and block it?!
But the best bit, you can submit a request (that is accepted without question) to get yourself an exemption. WHY THE FUCKING FUCK HAVE THE BLOCK IN THE FIRST PLACE THEN
To add to their fucktardery, they blocked the CDN that hosted stackoverflows css and JavaScript last year (CloudFlare) weeks after the alleged hack was fixed, and seemingly without any research at all. This obviously rendered stackoverflow unusable. Because again, why would a company full of engineers need to go there.
Morons.4 -
I was today years old when I discovered the CSS property column-count.
Do you have any fucking idea how many times I’ve used CSS grid or flex box or BOTH when all I wanted was to make a layout with a set number of columns?
Why the fuck didn’t I know about this thing?
Did you know about this thing?17 -
css quick maffs
so you did this:
.foo:hover {
transform: scale(1.1);
}
and now ugly scrollbar is there when the element is scaled.
No, don't do overflow: hidden. There's a better way. Instead, do this:
.container {
padding: 1rem;
box-sizing: border-box;
}
the element total width is calculated based on the width of its content. That's true unless you specified width and height explicitly (if you did so, you're a doofus, I'm sorry).
Scaling makes content somewhat larger. With border-box, paddings work differently with the total width.
By default, if you set width to say 100px, and paddings are 20px, total width will be 140px — it's your 100px of content plus two paddings of 20px. width property set the width of the content, not the total width.
With border-box, width property sets the total width. So if you set width to 100px and paddings to 20px, total width would be 100px, just like you set it, and content will be 60px wide — it's 100px minus 20px times two.
The key part is it doesn't end with explicit width. The algorithm remains. When some node is rendered, its total width is calculated. When you use border-box, the total width will stay the same even if your content grows by some value that is less than your paddings. So, your content was 100px, you scaled it, and it became 110px. Well, then that extra 10px will be subtracted from your paddings, and they will be 15px each instead of 20px.
No more ugly scroll bar. Yaaay!
aight bye8 -
I was working for a client on a simple landing page. After struggling for days with the text-flow of one paragraph and trying one CSS property after another I finally realized it.
He sent me the texts in PDF format and I just copied them. What I did not know is that all the spaces in the text were non breaking spaces wich of course did not wrap like I expected.
Heureka. You bloody bitch. Never imagined having such a fucking issue in web development...2 -
i always go out of my way to help people learning to code. as a self-thought coder myself, i remember the struggles of starting out and not knowing the basic shit. but it seems that in todays environment, when there are a lot more resources, gamified platforms, tutorials, online courses, paid and free, their motivation to actually learn stuff, is non existing.
learn what the css property actually is before torrenting the fucking useless 40 hours video tutorial on how to use the shitty bootstrap.1 -
I decided I should finally relocate from Russia. As one of the people I value much once said, it’s not about grass being greener, it’s about grass being alive.
I’m not going to buy a property here. Instead, I do this all at the same time:
- fixing my health (eye surgery done, quit smoking half a year ago, quit sugar several months ago, now through dental care and an obesity treatment with newest novo-nordisk stuff and sports, so far so good)
- gaining some momentum (newsletter launched, articles and open source stuff are published on a regular basis, it all gonna assembly to make my new website and a v2.0 media presence)
- learning (hands-on management and a11y experience on my current job as a tech evangelist, also a11y courses, bleeding edge JavaScript and css)
- saving money. Fuck rouble, just converting everything into usd covers up all commissions and taxes and basically makes me money
I’m going to accomplish all this and finally relocate.
Being attached to my city is a bias and a mind game. I just need to leave.
18 -
You know you've been wired in for a long time and need some sleep when you typed in wrong css property.
#careless #whatissleep
4 -
I had to use XSS (cross site scripting) and tag injection to change one tiny CSS property on a bug tracker site where I have no actual file access and can only add custom footer text. Why not just give me file access, or at least some way to customise the CSS, you stupid thing!2
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As I already said on devrant, I'm a freelance web developer and I also often sell my services for teaching, loving that. Currently I'm teaching PHP with 30 students and it's going very well.
But yesterday, I received an offer for giving another course next month, this time on HTML and CSS, for a company I don't know yet. Almost every line of this email is wrong, outdated by 20 years, or just basically meaningless...
So I thought I could do my best to translate this as close as possible to the original, preserving the wrong formulations too, just for you devranters fellas.
"Hello,
I have an offer for a 2 days course for 5 people (level 1+ and/or 2), on HTML5 and CSS3. Below, the program :
1. XHTML AND CSS2 INTRODUCTION
Advantages and benefits of change
Understanding compatibility for different versions of browsers
HTML, XHTML, CSS edition tools : presentation of the different tools
The CSS language : different types of selectors : class of selector, identifier of selector, contextual selectors, grouped selectors
Blocks of text, boxes of text
The CSS1, CSSP, CSS2 properties
Relative and absolute measures units
2. LAYOUT TECHNIQUES
Full CSS, XHTML websites demo
Positioning with the position property, positioning with the float property
Columns creation
Layout for forms
Layout for data tables
Layout for menus
3. INTRODUCTION TO SVG (SCALABLE VECTOR GRAPHICS)
Role and importance of SVG
Using SVG on client side : basic shapes
SVG structure of document, tags examples
Using CSS styles with SVG
Different integration methods for SVG in a XHTML document
4. OPTIMISATION OF JAVASCRIPT CODE
Introduction to DOM and Javascript
Access to document objects : different access techniques, using this keyword, create elements dynamically
Positioning elements with the help of Javascript : positionning elements relatively to the mouse, move elements
Show/hide elements for creating hierarchical menus
Code optimisation techniques : using objects, objects litterals, loops optimisation
Can you please give me your availability ?"
Seriously...
CSS-fucking-1 ! Is it a course for dinosaurs ?
...And if only my rant was just about the program...
It's totally impossible to cover all these subjects in only 2 days with people of different levels and experience.
The guy exactly said to me : "don't worry about the program, it's an old text but they agreed to it anyway. They just want to learn HTML and CSS, some of them already know it but want to learn more, and the others are total beginers.".
And here is the meaning for the "(level 1+ and/or 2)" part in the email.
So... Surprizingly, I accepted the offer, but asked for at least a 3rd day. I'm waiting for their answer, but I'll do it anyway, adapting the course content to the actual students knowledge. I need the money, after all.
Wish me luck...
It's just sad that these formation companies are selling bullshit to clients that just want to learn something useful. It's too often like that, they sell shitty/useless programs and we have to catch up in real time with students that don't understand why they don't learn what was told to them.3 -
If my girlfriend was a prefixed browser-incompatible CSS level 4 property I would still use her in production.2
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Let me guess, using regexes in the mousemove event handler isn't a great idea.
How fast are simple regexes, anyway?
I have /^(\d+)(.*)$/, because I want to animate a css property that might have some unit.15 -
This might just be me and my OCD talking, but am I the only one who gets super annoyed with sloppy CSS formatting?
So like, if somebody writes a sloppily formatted rule like this without spacing out each property and value:
#signUpButton {color:#FFF;background:#000;float:right;clear:both;padding:5px;position:absolute;top:5px;right:20px;height:100px;width:45px;}
As opposed to something like this, which just looks much cleaner:
#signUpButton { color: #FFF; background; #000; float: right; clear: both; padding: 5px; }
The formatting makes no difference in how the CSS is evaluated and rendered, but I find the spaceless style so ugly and difficult to read/edit, whereas the spaced out style is much more appealing to the eyes and easier to read
I find myself reformatting other people's CSS that works perfectly fine just so it will be easier to read/edit for anybody else that looks at it in the future8 -
Turns out `white-space: nowrap` takes priority over every single other layout property used to constrain width and overflow, including these:
overflow
width
max-width
grid-template-column
But hey, CSS doesn't suck, you're just bad at it!4 -
TIL CSS has a counter-increment property and it really gave off some powerful "HTML is a programming language" vibes.9
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Today i faced a "bug" which caused an element not to trigger a Bootstrap 3 accordion by klicking on it. Only on iOS/iPhone - Desktop and Android worked fine.
The actual problem was that almost the same structure worked fine on another website...
took me about 3 hours to figure out that the element which was supposed to trigger the accordion needs the css property 'cursor: pointer;'.
why the hell does a touch device, which got no coursor, need this property?!3 -
You know you want to quit life when: You spent a whole 4 hour journey looking for a missing property in css that you never added expecting other elements to behave a certain way and you sit there neanderthal looking figuring it out.
-
Google enslaved me to conduct their experiments on me, and now when I use a -webkit prefixed css property, I feel excruciating pain. They made me have intercourses with horses and bite my wife to death.1
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A question on the CSS position property. I have a hard time understanding position, so I thought I would finally conquer it so that website development it easier.
Q.) Absolute removes the content from the flow and bases its position on the body, unless a container in the body has absolute, meaning the lowest level element finds the highest element that has absolute and bases its position from that and relative keeps it flow as if it was still there and moves relative to is current position in the documents as just a visual, as it does not move the other elements. Am I getting that correct?3 -
I'm retarded and never learned or was taught how to CSS
What's the simple toggle/config/property to throw onto things in CSS so different rendering engines will render things to look the same?
I just want 1 line of text, an input text box and a button on a web page opened by an app, to look roughly the same on iPhone, android phone and tablet.
Why the fuck did historically shit get fucked up so we have different rendering engines. I just want my fucking 1.5 em/rem to be legibly readable on these different platforms.
https://xkcd.com/927/
https://webaim.org/blog/...
an extra special fuck you shout out to apple
time to go down the rabbit hole of who knows what, i dont fucking know what a fucking viewport is yet8 -
font-family expects a comma-separated list. Fonts haven't been displaying on my blog for months because of this issue.
Why could NONE of the browsers I tested this on give me a real syntax error instead of "invalid property value" which could mean literally anything.
Edit: Actually, why can't the CSS plugin for VSCode tell me that I'm making a syntax error in the value of a well-known property?10 -
Use Linear gradient ...
No use rgba
Arghhhh...okay rgba looks OK...wait linear gradient is better...no wait
Hallelujah!!!!!2 -
@supports in css - helps to check whether the browser supports the given css property before it applies
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