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Search - "fortune 500"
UPDATE: I have my dream job.
About a year ago I commented on Devrant that I was having some hard luck interviewing for development jobs.
Shortly after my post I decided to lower my expectations and took a job at a tech support call center.(3 month contract)
After getting a little experience(Not just a degree) I was able to land a hardware support job at a fortune 500 company.(Not what a programmer really wants 😂)
I worked hard and started writing tools at home to help with the job. I started giving them out to the other techs and put them on a little internal website for easy access.
About 3 months ago I just became a software engineer within the company.(after 6 months of hardware repair.) The main reason I got the job was because I showed them how much overtime and extra work I had done and that the techs relied on my software to do there jobs and that I was dependable.
It was hard work but it was worth it. And I built software that I never would have done if I hadn't taken this "lower job"
So keep your chin up and your fingers on the keys, I was in your shoes a year ago. 😉12
Summing up many ridiculous meetings I've been in.
Many years ago we hired someone for HR that came from a large fortune 500 company, really big deal at the time.
Over the next 6 months, she scheduled weekly to bi-weekly, 1 to 2 hour meetings with *everyone* throughout the day. Meeting topics included 'How to better yourself', 'Trust the winner inside you'...you get the idea.
One 2-hour meeting involved taking a personality test. Her big plan was to force everyone to take the test, and weed out anyone who didn't fit the 'company culture'. Whatever that meant.
Knowing the game being played, several of us answered in the most introverted, border-line sociopath, 'leave me the frack alone!' way we could.
When she got the test results back, she called an 'emergency' meeting with all the devs and the VP of IS, deeply concerned about our fit in the company.
HR: "These tests results were very disturbing, but don't worry, none of you are being fired today. Together, we can work as team to bring you up to our standards. Any questions before we begin?"
Me: "Not a question, just a comment about the ABC personality test you used."
<she was a bit shocked I knew the name of the test because it was anonymized on the site and written portion>
Me: "That test was discredited 5 years ago and a few company's sued because the test could be used to discriminate against a certain demographic. It is still used in psychology, but along with other personality tests. The test is not a one-size-fits-all."
VP, in the front row, looked back at me, then at her.
HR: "Well....um...uh...um...We're not using the test that way. No one is getting fired."
DevA: "Then why are we here?"
DevB:"What was the point of the test? I don't understand?"
HR: "No, no...you don't understand...that wasn't the point at all, I'm sorry, this is getting blown out of proportion."
VP: "What is getting blown out of proportion? Now I'm confused. I think we all need some cooling off. Guys, head back to the office and let me figure out the next course of action."
She was fired about two weeks later. Any/all documentation relating to the tests were deleted from the server.16
Every job description out there:
" JUNIOR XY position.
Requirements: 50 years experience of Assembly, Java and Masonry, HTML, cloud based computing and artificial intelligence. Must be able to write algorithms like Hummingbird. Fluent in English, Mandarin and Latin. Must have five doctor and two Bachelor degrees. Experience in leading a Fortune 500 company benefitial.
Renumeration: 5 rice grains"6
Neighbor: So what do you do for work?
Me: I'm a software engineer.
Neighbor: Oh I don't even know what that means. What exactly do you do?
Me: I write code for Fortune 500 companies while sitting on my couch in my underwear.2
I work for a Fortune 500 company where the proposed "solution" that I almost always hear is, "Let's use an Access Database for that" As a FullStack Dev my response is always the same:7
So, after weeks of reading spicy rants from all of you, I finally decided to join your community ; even if I'm only a student, I've encountered some solid crap in my internships.
Let's go back in time bois. Two years ago, I started my first intership at a Fortune 500 company (this doesn't exists in France, but whatever, this is nearly the same category). I was supposed to build some file sharing system for the office. Before getting into it, I briefly thought aboyt what technos I could use to build it and make a sweet interface for my co-workers, in 10 weeks, and not a single another day.
> Nice team with devs that I could ask things about and learn solid tricks that would even amaze David Copperfield
> Having a nice dev environment
> Alone on this project
> No fucking dev environment, I had to build everything on Notepad
> No CI
> No SCM
> And, the worst, Ladies and Gentlemans,
I FUCKING HAD TO WORK IN A SINGLE FILE IN A CLOSED ENVIRONMENT.
NO WEBSERVER, NO DEDICATED SPACE.
I HAD TO REQUEST A SPECIFIC ENVIRONMENT IN A CLOSED CUSTOM CMS THAT WAS SERVING FILES, SO THIS FORMAT COULD BE READ ON FOLDER OPENING IN IE9 (FIREFOX FORBIDDEN).
YOU HAD TO MIX HTML, CSS AND JS IN A SINGLE FILE. NO SERVER-SIDE LANGUAGES, ONLY STATIC LINKS, NO FRAMEWORKS (if we can call jQuery, Bootstrap, Semantic UI and all these thinks "Frameworks").
> mfw at the end of the intership13
I had a manager in a fortune 500 company encourage me to install a web cam with live feed in another team members cube as a prank. Being younger, I trusted him and so figured it would fine and just get a good laugh.
Then another member found the setup and reported it. Turns out, this broke so many company regulations, I could have been fired on the spot. They confiscated my laptop and I got the 3rd degree from my senior director, who told me I was lucky to be a contractor at the time or the situation would have been even worse.
Moral of the story for younger folks in large corporations... don't take everything your higher ups say as gospel. Think for yourself and do your own research if something feels iffy.2
A few years ago I found a public AWS S3 bucket owned by a fortune 500 company containing a database dump backup with all of their users unsalted md5 hashed passwords.
I didn't report it because I don't want to get sued or charged. I don't know whether it's still public or not.6
My current company has taught me a remarkable lesson. Just 1-2 really good full stack developers is all it takes to pull in Disney, Berkshire Hathaway and other fortune 500 companies. Cause at the end of the day these companies dont care about how many developers or how proficient the work flow is over here. They care about the history of the company, the mouth thats moving in these lunch meetings and the words being said. The sense of confidence and the nice building they see when they visit. Ive found a deep respect for marketing/sales, the facade that they can put up and the way a company builds off of facade until its no longer a facade. We literally wait until the big job is landed to hire the developers needed to make it happen. Its hilarious.
I dont know what to feel anymore.
Got hired directly without an interview into 'Data-analytics' department in fortune 500 company. This is my first job. Got hired because this company want start a website that cost millions.
Even though I am junior, I can see that this company has no idea about software development at all. No git server, no code review, no quality assurance and no proper workflow. No senior developer to guide us (junior dev) too.
There is one 'senior' consultant that work on automation project here but he just focus on his work and don't help us directly too.
The contract is about 1 year. Still got 11 months to go :/5
Gained access to a fortune 500 companies "naughty word" filter table. Everything from "bootie wootie" to "comshot". And some sad soul had to put in all 30,000 of these entries9
How bad is it for a fortune 500 company to open port 22 over the internet for all its linux servers?? Today, I reported this to my boss and he said "it won't be a problem, no one can login without a password".12
A conversation between an offshore developer and his manager at a fortune 500:
I'm a software developer and the company I work for is a vendor for $manager's and $offshore_dev's company. They provide endless hours of entertainment/terror. Recently, we've been trying to convince them that they need to stop sending sensitive information plaintext over HTTP and set up TLS/HTTPS which has led to tons of fun conversations such as this one they had during a conference call:
* $manager: "Did $offshore_dev implement TLS1.2?"
* $offshore_dev: "Yes, we enabled a parameter in the code to enable TLS1.2 in the code but according to $me's email, this requires HTTPS in order to work."
* $manager: "No this works, we're using TLS in $other_application right now."
* $offshore_dev: "Well, $manager, it's implemented but it currently doesn't encrypt anything as such."
* $manager: "Okay, HTTPS is in the roadmap in the next quarter, we can move forward without this for now."5
I am SOOO fucking sick of being asked if our website and gaming servers are going to be GDPR compliant. All these game owners in a panic changing everything they do just to conform to this law.
Fuck GDPR. In all reality COME AT ME BITCH. The EU wants to grow a pair of balls and act like the world internet police? Bring it the FUCK on. You can't even stop pirating in your own country, so how the FUCK are you going to regulate and enforce this law on HUNDREDS of THOUSANDS of servers, when your punk ass government can't even shutdown a single torrenting website.
Give me a fucking break, and shame on you pussies for allowing it. All you people running around scared acting like your private gaming servers are important. I give a shit less how much work you put into your server. I have put more work than most anyone else, but you don't see me trying to act self important as if my gaming server is some fortune 500 company.
Your server isn't important and neither are you. The government doesn't give a shit about your server so can we all just stop acting like this fucking matters. NO ONE FUCKING CARES ABOUT YOUR SERVER.
NO ONE is going to come and sue you for not complying. GDPR is for business, and anyone that wants to argue no look it says right here it applies to all is a fucking MORON. Do you idiots stop and think or do you just believe everything typed out on paper.
THEY CANT ENFORCE THIS ON EVERYONE. They don't have the resources. So use your fucking heads and stop being so fucking scared of a law that has no resources to stop you. THEY CAN"T DO ANYTHING. EU and whoever made their polices, I DARE them to try and touch my server, I WANT them to start something with me, just so I can show the rest of the world why the Internet is still the wild west and why they have no power over me.
You think pirate bay is the only one who knows how to hide their server? You think pirate bay is the only one who keeps backups of their server to be able to re release in an instant somewhere else in the world? Bitch get real this is the internet, a place where a 5 year old can buy hand grenades from the Red Silk Road, and you wanna talk to me about your privacy? Go fuck yourself.
It's not my problem some douche bag went onto a site that used his personal information in the wrong manner. So how about you do what everyone else does and browse ANONYMOUSLY. But no it would be to easy for governments to make their own citizens responsible. Instead they have to hold all of YOUR hands, because you people are to stupid to protect yourself.
Wake the fuck up world, and stop being a bunch of whining little brats who cry for the government to bubble wrap your world so you can live safer. Natural selection is long overdue for a lot of morons still breathing air.21
Anyone here making big bucks working for a small company? I've interned at startups and worked full time for fortune 500's, but I'm considering looking at smaller companies in the future just because the corporate environment kind of burns me out. What's it like being a senior level developer for a smaller company? Is the money typically there? And in your experience, what about quality and expectation of work? I would love to have some more say and passion into what I'm building and take home a big chunk of what a business earns but I don't know how realistic that is.
I'd also like to start my own e-commerce company but as a web developer with 0 business / marketing experience that seems far off lol11
I volunteered to interview interns and new grads for a Fortune 500 company. Interview day consisted of a tour, then interviews, then the pool of interviewers would commune and rank the candidates explaining why to hire or not. This was the last round before the offer.
There was this one lady who always said "yes" to basically all candidates. One of the reasons given at one of these sessions was that she felt bad saying no.
Wonder how many pity hires got through that one...1
What dark, heathen God do I have to sacrifice to in order to get CUDA 9.2 installed on a machine? For the love of Christ Nvidia, just make a functional fucking installer for once in your God forsaken life, you're a Fortune 500 company. Why does everything have to be so incredibly janky with you?4
Aside from simple programs I wrote by hand-transcribing code from the "Basic Training" section of 3-2-1 Contact magazine when I was a kid in the '80s, I would say the first project I ever undertook on my own that had a meaningful impact on others was when I joined a code migration team when I was 25. It was 2003.
We had a simple migration log that we would need to fill out when we performed any work. It was a spreadsheet, and because Excel is a festering chunk of infected cat shit, the network-shared file would more often than not be locked by the last person to have the file open. One night after getting prompted to open the document read-only again, I decided I'd had it.
I went to a used computer store and paid $75 out of pocket for an old beater, brought it back to the office, hooked it to the network, installed Lunar Linux on it, and built a simple web-based logging application that used a bash-generated flat file backend. Two days later, I had it working well enough to show it to the team, and they unanimously agreed to switch to it, rather than continue to shove Excel's jagged metal dick up our asses.
My boss asked me where I was hosting it, as such an application in company space would have certainly required his approval to procure. I showed him the completely unauthorized Linux machine(remember, this was 2003, when fortune 500 corporations, such as my employer, believed Ballmer's FUD-spew about Linux being a "virus" was real and not nonsense at all), and he didn't even hesitate to back me up and promise to tell the network security gestapo to fuck off if they ever came knocking. They never did.
I was later informed that the team continued to use the application for about five years after I left.
The ones I have now! I have a team of great people I'm working with. We get good work done and have alot of laughs. And since we work for a huge fortune 500 company, we have plenty of people in the enterprise to complain to each other about!
So far in my career I've tried been hired to a startup, two medium sized consulting agencies and a Fortune 500 company.
Trying to figure out why the startup and the big company managed to attract so many assholes.
I've heard similar trends from friends in the industry.6
So I've learned how to code a little over 2 years ago. I have been at my current job as a full stack developer for just less than 2 years. For my job I work with multiple fortune 500 companies and it is unbelievable the incompetence that almost all the devs that I work with have. I have only been doing this for 2 years and some of the devs I work with will spend months on a ticket that I can do in a few hours. At times I think they just have it figured and do very little work and just chill most of the time and get paid 6 figures to do it.
I just don't understand how these guys have all this experience and they are still bad engineers. They just don't know how to engineer properly. It's so frustrating.
Maybe it's just the people I work with but I have seen on the inside of a lot large corporations and it's terrifying.
Here's to one day opening the doors of my own company and not allowing incompetence to come through the door2
Hey y’all. I’ve worked with a couple startups and live in a third world country. Recently I received an offer from a Fortune 500 company to relocate to a first world country. A couple of buddies and old workmates who know about this are discouraging me to take the offer with claims that there isn’t much to learn or gain in those companies, but there hasn’t been much learning or career growth gained from the local scene. My question is if anyone has any insight kindly advice me on what the right move is. Because I feel I’m gonna go for the offer.6
Just got offered the position of IT Specialist on a salary at my current job where I'm a legal assistant. I have an interview with a fortune 500 for an apprenticeship in a few weeks though.1