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If restaurants functioned like Microsoft:
Patron: Waiter!
Waiter: Hi, my name is Bill, and I'll be your Support Waiter. What seems to be the problem?
Patron: There's a fly in my soup!
Waiter: Try again, maybe the fly won't be there this time.
Patron: No, it's still there.
Waiter: Maybe it's the way you're using the soup; try eating it with a fork instead.
Patron: Even when I use the fork, the fly is still there.
Waiter: Maybe the soup is incompatible with the bowl; what kind of bowl are you using?
Patron: A SOUP bowl!
Waiter: Hmmm, that should work. Maybe it's a configuration problem; how was the bowl set up?
Patron: You brought it to me on a saucer;what has that to do with the fly in my soup?!
Waiter: Can you remember everything you did before you noticed the fly in your soup?
Patron: I sat down and ordered the Soup of the Day!
Waiter: Have you considered upgrading to the latest Soup of the Day?
Patron: You have more than one Soup of the Day each day??
Waiter: Yes, the Soup of the Day is changed every hour.
Patron: Well, what is the Soup of the Day now? Waiter: The current Soup of the Day is tomato.
Patron: Fine. Bring me the tomato soup, and the check. I'm running late now.
[waiter leaves and returns with another bowl of soup and the check]
Waiter: Here you are, Sir. The soup and your check.
Patron: This is potato soup.
Waiter: Yes, the tomato soup wasn't ready yet.
Patron: Well, I'm so hungry now, I'll eat anything.
[waiter leaves.]
Patron: Waiter! There's a gnat in my soup!
The check:
Soup of the Day . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $5.00
Upgrade to newer Soup of the Day. . . . . . . . $2.50
Access to support . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $1.009 -
Being a dev by day and a simracer by night. I made a skin because I wanted to see what devRant would look like on a race car.
14 -
Tldr :
Office Building : 1
Population: 5000
Number of PC users: 5000
No of Spare mice: 0
Day 1:
Training period commences.
My mouse laser sensor doesn't work.
Solution: Use this mouse to log in to your system.
Open the company portal.
Connect to vpn.
Enter username password.
Create a ticket for mouse replacement.
Done.
Day 3
I bring my own mouse.
Confiscated at security.
Becomes a security violation.
Day 9
I get a call from helpdesk.
Agent- what is the problem?
Me- my mouse is not working.
Agent- why?
Me- what do you mean? Something is wrong with the sensor.
Agent- clean the sensor.
Disconnects call.
Marks ticket as resolved.
Me- WTF just happened!
Naturally, I escalate the issue.
Day 15
Level 2 Agent- what happened? Why have you escalated the issue?
Me- I need a mouse, waiting since 2 weeks.
Him- No mouse is available
Me- you don't have a single spare mouse available in an office with 5000 PC users?
Him- no they're out of stock.
Me- when will it be back in stock?
Him- we will 'soon' launch a tender for quotations from sellers.
Me- time?
Him- 1 week.
Day 34
I email the head of supplies for the city office. Next day I get a used super small mouse, which doesn't have a left button. Anyways, I've given up hope now.
Day 45
I become a master at keyboard shortcuts.
Finish my training.
Get transferred to another city.
No mouse till date.
Surprisingly, this was one of the top recruiters in my country. Never knew, MNCs can be so so inefficient for such simple tasks.
Start-ups are way better in this regard. Latest tech, small community, minimal bureaucracy and a lot of respect and things to learn.15 -
Had this conversation the other day:
Girl: So, what do you do?
Me: I'm a Software Developer.
Girl: So you write 1 and 0 all the day?
Me: Yes!
----
I actually work with C#3 -
One day, someone at Google decided that what their search engine was really missing was a dice rolling tool, complete with text that says 'Rolling...'
Stocks are up 600% since then.
10 -
Honestly: I love my job. Every day. I get paid to do what I love to do. And when I get home after sometimes 11 hours of work, I turn on my notebook to do exactly what I did at work - just as a relaxation method.5
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When i said i'll deliver a feature by end of the day, they thought it after 5. But what i really mean is 11.59pm9
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"Ugh... what a day, so exhausted from sitting at the computer all day. Can't wait to get home from work and
INSTALL ARCH LINUX FUCK YEAH!!"6 -
My start in new company....
HR: you will get a Macbook from us...
Me: yessss!!!!
~~~
One Day before first Day:
I Picked up the laptop from company...opened the case....
No Macbook, but HP 😂😂😂...🤷♀️
~~~
First Day at new company:
PM: you will be using Ps, Sketch....
ME: how will be the licence costs payed?
PM: it is already installed...
ME: wait, what? It's nothing in my Laptop.. Wait what? Sketch?....I haven't recieved a Mac....
PM: What?????🤦♀️.....
~~~
Later in the same Day...
My laptop: Fu*k you!!! Your account has been disabled. Contact your system Administrátor...
ME: wtf????? 🤷♀️🤦♀️
.....to be continued....23 -
What a day and what an achievement!!!
Today ladies and gentlemen I broke my record for number of passive aggressive “as per last email” comments, in a single email.
I now stand at 11
Today is a great day and I’d like to thank everyone not reading my emails who got me to this point. You guys are the real record holders!5 -
My client uses a very old hosting company that cannot even support php 5.2. We urge him to switch to IBM softlayer.
My Client: I am afraid that your hosting company(IBM) will close one day.
Me: ... What?5 -
While implementing a new feature I got “error in function A”.
I spent one day trying to figure out what was wrong.
At the end I found that someone copy/paste “function A” debug comments in “function B”.
I almost went to jail.4 -
Got stuck on a project for a whole day. Just got out of bed, start my computer, got a cup of coffee and in 5 minutes I found the problem.
Just amazing what a well rested body can do.7 -
What my parents would have said back in the day if I told them I was a dev: "You listen to that annoying sound for a living?"
2 -
Ok you fucks that don't believe in documentation - me included.
Document your shit, because one day, one day some dumb fuck is going to have to recreate your over engineered bullshit of a system and scale it up.
What would fucking be useful right now is ANY god forsaken insight into what in the flying fuck your code is doing, or not doing, or why it makes queries to a database with no fucking records in it 🤦♂️ and then attempts to use that data... in case it did exist.
There's nothing like unpicking a mess of bullshit, and documenting it, and then have to remake it on a new platform.
Documention saves lives kids, maybe your own life one day😬16 -
!!depression
I used to measure my performance in features per day (or week, depending on their scope), or tasks/day or loc/day for huge projects. My usual was two to three small features a day, and some progress on a larger one.
Now I’m so burned out and depressed that i measure my progress in the amount of days per week that aren’t “zeros” — as in days where i get literally nothing done. Now any day where i get _anything_ done, no matter how little, is a “good day.” I partially refactored about fifty lines of json builder spaghetti on Tuesday. That was a great day.
This week I’ve had two zeros, and it’s Thursday morning. I think it’s going to be a three zero week.
Worse: performance reviews were due weeks ago. I still haven’t written mine, and have no idea what i would even write. How can i make myself sound good when i can barely even force myself to eat or take a shower?50 -
My boss is making me deploy a major change what hasn't had proper testing yet on the day I leave for 2 weeks. Save me someone.13
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Customer logic - "We'd like a website but we don't know what we want...so can you do a whole thing so we can change 80% of it day after day until we are bored of it? Thanks"4
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A day before the deadline.
Project manager decides that we are ready to publish the same app with the iPad version too. Without asking dev team.
+Yep, sure. What could go wrong?
I'll keep you posted.2 -
What if some day devrant starts getting bigger and has a lot of employees? What happens if they start ranting too?8
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A client was talking to me all day asking about my "hacking" experience.
I taught he was going to ask for a pen test for his trampoline website. At the end of the day, he revealed he wanted me to hack the "competition's databases" so he can promote his "very unique trampoline accessory".
Guess what happened? Nothing, cause fuck legal trouble!7 -
best friend works at a gym, and he always remind me to exercise.
him: bro when was the last time you workout?
me: every fucking day.
him: what?
me: I am a programmer bro, everyday is brain day.2 -
>creating Android app
>forgot to save project
>ANR window pops up
>Android Studio stopped working
What a nice day :D7 -
People that don't know what you do, think you're just a lazy introvert that sits on the computer all day4
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Changed the battery and extended the RAM; 6 years old dying laptop resurrected.
What a great day 🤗13 -
When you have a product owner who, on her first day of the project, asks you ' What do you mean by UI?' and a week later question a UI dev why should something take 3 days?
Are you fucking kidding me? I am done with this shit.3 -
When you start work on Monday and need half a day to remember what you actually did on Friday.
Someone knows this too ?
3 -
"There were a lot of complaints about missing grades" well, yes. That's what happens when you make me grade all 60 submissions every week while I work 10-12 hours a day at my other job, on average.17
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Hi Fellas !
I'm new here. I have no idea what makes you get so many ++ and what ++ can do for you.
I'm just feeling better here, it feels like im entering my soul's home!
Weekend is near, what project you gonna do ?
Have a great day !40 -
Today on "I'm Not Crazy, I'm Just a Burnt Out Dev".
Project Manager: "What day would prefer to demo your work?"
Me: "Tomorrow or Wednesday"
Project Manager: "Tomorrow is Wednesday"
Me: "O"
Project Manager: "O"
Me: 🤝
Project Manager: 🤝
Anyone else having problems remembering which day of the week it is? 😂😂5 -
I want to share with the DevRant community that after a lot of work; today my first IOS app was accepted and published on the App Store.
What a historic day!9 -
"I keep complaining to you guys every day about this bug and nothing happens!"
Firstly, it ain't a bug. Secondly, you're not complaining, you're whining. Thirdly, complaining is a bloody limited resource. If you do it once a year, everyone's going to sit up and take notice. If you do it daily, it's just "Duncan having another moan", and the only thing anyone will do is play "what time of day will Duncan rant" sweepstakes. -
You know, the whole AWS outage being caused by a typo while debugging got me thinking... whoever did that is most probably a developer who had a REALLY bad day. Could that person be on DevRant? Because the story of what the rest of that day and week was like for him or her has the chance to be the most epic rant on here ever. Poor guy/gal.3
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"A developer? What, like a landscape gardener?"
No idea to this day what they meant, but it's always stuck with me!3 -
Thanks again devRant, @dfox and @tragus.
Those stickers are amazing.
Hope to get the stress ball one day too.
Btw @dfox what do you mean with +1’s here? 500 +1's on a single rant for a ball
4 -
I realized I've need a hobby other than sitting in front of the computer all day.
What non-developer things do you love to do? :)39 -
Seven years ago, a russian artist started the "Putin Every Day" community. It started with one picture of putin. Every day, he was downloading the previous day's pic and uploading it again.
Over the course of seven years, JPEG compression artefacts built up to what you can see here.
What an amazing metaphor.
https://vk.com/putineveryday
34 -
My productivity hack? Exercise.
It's amazing what a good workout can do after a long day of work. The stress just melts away and i sleep like a baby!! Ready to rock and roll the next day. 😎4 -
So one day I come home from work and my wife meets me with a pack of these little tux-fellows!
Do I have the best wife or what!!!
12 -
> 1:1 meeting with a CTO from Fortune 500 (any minute now)
> spilled coffee over the table and both computers
*taking a dog outside, so she doesn’t talk during the meeting*
> some dudes injecting drugs in the corner
My day is a shitty Hollywood movie 🍿8 -
I'm starting to have some doubts about carrying around a phone in my pocket all day. What if my tender swedish meatballs get cooked by the radiation? Not good.
14 -
!rant
It's a non-working holiday at the office so I'm at home doing nothing. I asked my boyfriend what to do for the whole day then he said "Spend your day to something you really enjoy".
Ah yes!
So I'm building a new project. What an exciting day!1 -
1. Start ur day posting Good morning in #general thread.
2. Say Hello Team in the project group (slack).
3. Have a standup call with the entire team and discuss what everyone would be doing.
4. Evening 6 pm go on another call with the team explaining what you did for the day.
5. Time tracking software should always be on, so we can monitor your keystrokes.
6. Track time on Clickup tasks, as well as move them to appropriate tabs indicating their status.
7. Before u log off, post a detailed report on the group chat about what you did for the day.
Surely, this will increase productivity of the team, right?10 -
*Swiches on the PC and opens VS*
Probably I should get some coffee.
*1 hour later, with 0 LOC written*
I should probably code now. Umm, I need music, else I might not focus on the code.
*another hour passes by headbanging to led zeppelin and still on 0 LOC progress*
You know what, this wont work. I should eat and will code with a fresh mind..
*has lunch*
I'll code now.. Maybe I should check up on devrant...
*time goes by with 0 LOC at the end of the day.*
I'll do it tomorrow.
*Next Day, repeats what I did on the earlier day*3 -
A new day, and a new "specification" written by the most unspecific architect ever. I don't understand what you want me to do. Use your words. Be SPECIFIC. As in SPECIFICation. Twat.2
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Marketing: so we want it to behave like this website, so it'll have to have feature A, B, C and D.
Me: okay that might take a day or two.
Marketing: what? can't you just copy-paste the code from that website?8 -
Started with a small rant on the platform to meeting some awesome people.
And now look what I got.
Love from NY to KTM that made my day brighter. 😍😍
8 -
So I work as a "Web Development Lead"
Which means I lead (frontend,backend and infrastructure teams)
Also I am in charge of infrastructure or devops or whatever you call it, which means I handle production issues, dev and staging environments,...etc
and I am a team of one, and today I asked for a day off because it's my wife's birthday
and suddenly everyone is blocked, everything is on fire, and the phone is not stopping ringing, I had to go out of the cinema theater to answer the non-stopping calls
I AM ASKING FOR A SINGLE DAY, A FUCKING DAY, EVEN IF SOMEONE IS BLOCKED SO WHAT IT'S NOT EVEN A DAY I ONLY NEED 6 HOURS
IS TO TOO MUCH FUCKING TO ASK4 -
<rant>why the fuck do live demos NEVER work properly when a day ago the code was fine?? What is this bullshit sorcery!?</rant>6
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“Good comments explain why, not what,” says Andy Marks. “Do more of the former and none of the latter. A well named method or variable will beat a well-written comment every day.”2
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Spent 18 hours debugging and finding a fix for a critical bug, casually told about the fix to a senior programmer and left home. Couldn't go to office the next day and what I see on the day after that is endless mails praising the senior guy for fixing the bug. He stole my fix!4
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Facebook you little piece of shit.
We have a page setup for a band since apparently this is what one does these days. But oh boy is facebook annoying. Can you please stop sending me 100 notifications a day about fking post boosting?! What the fuck. We are students we don't have money for this shit. fk off! <.<12 -
Sometimes I wonder:
Who actually cares?
About what I do
About what I make
About me.
Why put in effort if there is no different result? Why am I always sad? What ruins my day? Is there really hope? Why? So many life questions I want answered. Do I care too much? I definitely think way too much. Why am I so lazy. The questions I have.
Cheers,
To a better day.13 -
Note to self:
Don’t use npm, use yarn!
Don’t use npm, use yarn!
Don’t use npm, use yarn!
Don’t use what??👂
Npm! Use yarn!
Well done!! Now repeat this 5 times a day.24 -
Dumbass client renamed jpeg extension when asked for a png file. Ofcourse Android build system is little more sophisticated than that.
What a shit day!2 -
They say a rant a day is good for you.
So I’m just going to leave this here for anyone looking at trying somethingn new.
$15 for what appears to be every course @udemy
https://www.udemy.com/2 -
That feeling you get when you write an automation package on top of selenium and python that at a press of a button runs through an entire User Checkout process 😍
Oh the hours this is going to save me.
Now to see what else I can automate in my day to day life.3 -
I guess I had an EMP attack in my home.In a single day my laptop charger burst,my desktop monitor got damaged and my Lumia phone has stopped opening.Dont know what to do13
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"Get a job doing what you love, you'll never work a day in your life" they said
What they didn't tell us is that it would lead us to babysitting/troubleshooting continuous deployments at 3 am on a Sunday with a black Irish coffee and a manic look on our faces5 -
What a nice day to goto the office.
-some exercise after being stuck at home for a week
-no one on the trains even as they run smoothly
-nice "warm" weather and morning
-nice views
9 -
When my professor wanted us to make a GUI for a Pig Latin Translator on the first day of Intro to Java and it was due that night. Like I just learned what System.out.println(); does, how do you expect me to do that?3
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Recently, my CS teacher proudly bragged about how, to this day, no pupil has ever had WiFi Access to the school network (only teachers have access).
What a naive teacher he is ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)5 -
today is one the worst day of 2018, after this
https://devrant.com/rants/1571445/...
I was looking through the websites which were made in the company last year, and while looking at a website I said: "this website is looking total shit, what the fuck is this".
Guess what, the guy who made the website was there and more worst he's my senior, I'm currently doing a project with him. He was not happy with this comment ( I thought the guy who made this left the company ). I totally fucked up.
Now I will search for another job. I can't bear this.4 -
There was a time, I couldn't find what made my webpage to appear blank. I stayed 3 more hours at the office to find the problem. Didn't find anything. The next day, I took a fresh look at my code, and guess what. A semicolon hidden in a JSON array.
Damn you semicolon ! I'll get you someday !3 -
What a day to wake up to the win10 update asking you to confirm yet again that you don't want to send all your data to them, I guess it's time for O&O ShutUp again..
4 -
It's a beautiful autumn day. The sun is out, the sky is blue, it's warm and the trees' leaves are already colored magnificently.
What will I do today? - Exam preparation! :D3 -
At the end of each day, work out exactly what you need to do next, and then...
...don't do it. Seriously. Make a note of it, save it, then walk away. Then you know *exactly* what you're getting started with the next day, and by the time you've done that you're in the swing of things. (Especially helpful if you're not a morning person like me. Much, much easier to get started if you know exactly what you're doing.) -
That feeling when you about to leave at work and ready for the long holiday, and suddenly there's a 🔥. You need to investigate and fix the issue. What a day!2
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So, just started my new job (stoked btw). At the last interview - boss: what kind of OS do you work on?
Me: I'm a simple guy who uses windows and notepad++
First day at work - get a brand spankin' new macbook and endure the most unproductive day ever...19 -
what a great idea to do server upgrades on a friday evening...and i can do it alone...and am responsible that everything works as expected...what a great day today...and i hate every single second of this day yet.. :-/
damnit i'm a developer, not a sysadmin, just because i can do it doesnt mean that i'm supposed to do it..what about our admins? what get they paid for? rebooting the coffeemachine? fuckers already left the building1 -
Been drinking like a litre of beer yesterday after a long day of work, came home like at 2.35 AM.
Today's gonna be a long day and I only slept 6h40m and I'm still feeling drunk.
What an awesome way to start working!
Also, making an AR project in unity, doing stuff I dunno how to do11 -
- the first time I have to touch a GO codebase
- it's the day GH goes down
come on, what's happening here! First dR, now GH? Tomorrow what - SO's turn?8 -
When you rock out a solid day of development. Making what use to be an 8 hour job 30 minutes, and everyone looks at you like you are a wizard. This is how I left the office today...
3 -
"you got all that done in a day?"
that's what happens when you work *with* your framework instead of against it1 -
and the saga continues...
the plans i had for the morning have been cancelled... and now I'm awake for nothing 🤡
what a day2 -
Not a rant, of course, as life is amazing but...
... Here is a rare, beind the scenes look at what happens on the back end of our office.
Wishing you all a brilliant fucking' day from Bulgaria's Black Sea coast...
11 -
Hey! I will start as a freelancer in a few days and i want to know what tools do you use in your each day, to manage tasks, time trackings and that sort of things? And if you give some advice will be appreciated, thanks!10
-
Expectations VS. Reality : A new Software Project (After all designs and requirements are clear and fixed.)
EXPECTATIONS:
Day 1: Create workspace, Configure tools
Day 2: Implement high priority Feature
Day 3: Write UT and peer review
Day 4: Push first feature to Prod.
REALITY:
Day 1: Create workspace, Setup configurations
Day 2: Still setting up configurations
Week 1: Almost done setting up configurations
Week 2: New migrations issue, again reconfigure before coding starts
Week 3: Take a vacation
Month 2: Finally things are working but God knows what was the issue...1 -
my CTO is on 2 week vacation, guess what he did on his last day...
installed a camera with a microphone in our office. coincidentally right near the devs...
i'm afraid to talk with my colleagues...7 -
I have a power nap after lunch. No matter what. Waking up from a nap is like getting a new extra day for free. And this time whatever was bad before the nap just doesn't seem so bad anymore.7
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Started my day by running a forkbomb on my own computer to prove to someone what it was 😑Wake me up when it's Saturday.2
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!rant
I wonder what it feels like to be a programmer in north korea...
1 bug, 1 day gulag?
Just kidding :)
I hope they enjoy stackoverflow & news over TOR.5 -
I'm going to try a 'zero-day' strategy for learning c++ (at first I was also a little confused about the term zero-day).
The name zero-day does make sense in that there are zero days of me not doing x
So, for this strategy, I have to program something (doesn't matter how small) in c++ every day for a month. After that I'll do the same for python
Then I can make an educated decision of what programming language I like the most
I want to thank @teganburns for his c++ video about c++, that's the reason why I chose to try c++ first4 -
Yesterday a windows update somehow managed to corrupt my arch linux partition and I eventually had to spend the whole day recovering what was left because I needed it for today. Well... yesterday was also my girlfriends birthday..2
-
What a bunch of cunts.
It's sad how they keep applying restrictions to everything. Two years ago, there were no restrictions. Now:
Max one website, random account locks if you ever get actual visitors, no support unless you're premium, max 5 simultaneous clients, one hour sleeptime a day, some "random" disk full errors or internal server errors and at least two hours downtime a day.
Fuck off.
23 -
When I am asked to do something and the next day same person asks to change what was changed the day before.
For fuck sake do a prototype and fucking change that and not the actual fucking code 😒😒😒 -
How do you explain to your family exactly what a programmer does all day? Like they think our job is no big deal sometimes...9
-
Since a few days I have my first dev job in a small it company. At my first day I directly stared to implement a rest api for managing dns servers.
Today I completed the prototype and all works well. What a feeling :)5 -
me: Today will be a productive code efficient day
also me: what is diz devRant
then me: man this is lit
*fml*11 -
I'm going to replace Designer with Architect.
Every single day: WHAT MONKEY DECIDED TO BUILD THIS SYSTEM THAT WE NOW HAVE TO CONTINUE DEVELOPING?
HOW THE FUCK DID HE THINK TO SCALE BY BUILDING A SYSTEM THAT TYING EVERYTHING TO A SINGLE DB?2 -
My director has started a new thing. We all have to tell what we did the previous day, what we are planning to do in the current day and if there are any blockers.
Good thing, right?
The only thing is that all these things are already plotted on the sprint board. It’s right fucking there in front of our eyes.
So what do we do? Just reiterate what is already written there. Fuck my productive life.6 -
What a fuck.. the best way to begin your day?
"We have an assistance session with client for you!". At 9 o'clock2 -
That one day you realize you can be in an abusive relationship with your boss, and he's a sales guy, and gaslighting is what he does PROFESSIONALLY.4
-
Today my therapist suggested I work towards one day getting back the will and energy to start coding side projects, just for the fun of it.
That was a long, long time since I had the ability to do. Maybe I can get back to feeling that much in control that I can let work go for a day or two each week and just... Have fun coding. What a mind-boggling thought.2 -
Detox for a couple of weeks.
Have been avoiding social media apps like Instagram and Facebook.
It’s day 3, already feeling positive and less stressed
Only downside is what to do in free time8 -
So my dad calls me because my uncle is freaking out about how a client messaged him and he doesn't know how to check if he can do what them asked him to. I tour them around the website he's using (as he understands little to none of it, and my dad doesn't use the site regularly so he's not versed into it as well) as to where they're supposed to look and they go check this one tab. In it, there's info of what is sold out in what day. And for each day it says "day x - y sold out" and he asks me what day it is that y things are sold out, and that it is confusing, and I'm like "are you serious it's right there". Goddamn it this guy sometimes
-
Second day at work ✌
Just started a website without drawing the template first. What could possibly go wrong..2 -
Since roughly 1 year ago I have been making "leftoff" comments in my code, whenever a work day ended or so, with a few notes on what I was doing and what I was about to work on next.
And I recommend it, I think that's good practice. Because I forgot to do it on friday and I have no GOD DAMN CLUE what I was working on :|3 -
Today I learned that some external devs one of our projects is working with have DB tables where they store references to specific dates, and not only that, but every minute of those dates, and the day of the week, and what season its in. Im not joking.
Hmm should I use the local datetime libs or should I go through a firewall, load balancer and DB cluster just to find out what day it is? -
A full day discussion with 'non-designers' to decide on a repeatative abstract image that is to be used for background in a website.
A fcking full day..
What the hell!!
And the final selected image was the same that we started with.1 -
I just spent a whole day learning wordpress cause it's mandatory for my graduation project and I'm still not quite sure what I'm doing.
I'm proficient with HTML, CSS, Javascript and PHP enough to make the damn thing in less than a day, yet here I am strugling with the damn plugins and themes... It just looks too chaotic for me.
6 -
!rant
I was getting headaches from looking at the comp screen all day, but what can you do when it's your job? A friend told me about these glasses you can buy specifically for people at a comp 8+ hrs a day. I gave in and bought a pair, and now, no more headaches! Thank you Gunnar glasses! 👓 😃1 -
I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day!1
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Using a brute force dictionary algorithm to retrieve every employees password. Access got blocked for a day because they didn't know what my algorithm did, I deleted the main file moments ago. They only saw the curl scripts.3
-
What if sites like Fiverr and Upwork are actually preparing us for when we all have to compete with third world programmers working for a dollar a day? 🤔2
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Plan my workday a day ahead. And plan it into as small steps as possible.
So that the next day I do not have to think about what to do. And that all steps are so small that I wont have much mental rejection for them. -
First day in the office for the year. First thing i do is connect through a vpn while inside a vdi. Fuck me! Since it changed my IP, now i can't access the damn vdi. Can't even restart it! What a way to start the year.
-
We had to test our client's karaoke app. QA said there was a delay between the singer's video and the user's recorded video.
What a day! Developers singing along, waiting for someone to be in sync... -
I like our daily stand-ups, but our team only does it when our scrum master is present, if he takes a day off, no one cares about it
I think it's healthy for scrum teams to have that every day
What do you guys think? Are you also doing scrum? How bug is your team?6 -
I hate dealing with (business) users... They keep asking why...
You're the fucking ppl that told me this is what u want a year or two ago...
Where can I find a job where its mostly dev and not answering why every day?4 -
I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day!
-
What do you guys do on low work days? both in terms of
a) Low energy = low work production
b) Low work required of you/slow work day10 -
My mate just pen-testing on running production server using admin credential.
Guess what happen!
And no backup!
What a day!2 -
Is it normal to be frustrated when you can't solve the bug for a day and all you can do is update on what you've tried solutions?
3 months in this company2 -
When companies don't understand what DevOps is and don't know how to implement it.
I hate when the term DevOps gets slapped onto a traditional Ops or sys admin team and they call it a day.
It's become the new agile.3 -
Oh boy, a bright new day 🌞.
Will this be a productive day with me getting my tasks done like a functioning member of society,
Or will I drown in my own sorrows and want to spend the whole day in bed.
Let's see what happens.5 -
So, yesterday I made a post asking for a recommendation on what to give my boyfriend for Valentine’s Day (He is a programmer and starting to learn how to develop video games) I gave him a Wacom, two online courses for Unity in Udemy, and, a portable coffee maker (since he previously complaint about the coffee in his office) What do you guys think? 😎4
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So I wanted to implement a feature in my app, but was too lazy to implement it myself. So I spent the entire day searching for a library that perfectly does what I want instead 😅. Happens to anyone else?1
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What the fuck is wrong with people!?
When I produced somewhaz high quality Videos, Ive gotten like 10-20 views a day...
Now... I made A FUCKING 10H EDIT OF SOME GUY SAYING SHIT AND SHIT AND SHIT... AND I MADE 181 FUCKING VIEWS IN A SINGLE FUCKING DAY!!
FUCK THIS.5 -
Maturity is day dreaming of wanting to work on a big side project, having a whole afternoon where no one is at the office, but still working on what you're supposed to do.
It's also extremely boring. -
me: what a nice day
someone: hey, wanna join our project? its a university thing
me: yeah sure
someone: oh, you r the PM
me: AAAAA -
This is what I did today in 5 hours and 45 minutes. Documentation and optimized code inside. One method was kinda tricky but I managed to optimize it from 1,88s in the first lazy version to 35ms in the end. Now that's what I call a productive day
1 -
Today me :
It’s 9 am, let’s work a bit, open the terminal, type vim.
What a mistake.
It’s 7 pm, still don’t do anything yet, just browsing some cool stuff on vim, vimawesome.com
Today was a good day.
2 -
My family STILL doesn't know what I do to this day. I graduated 3 years ago and have been in the industry since. They think I'm a designer. 🙄 No, mom and dad. I CODE. 😂2
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Really not in the mood for work.
But since that is not an acceptable reason to ask for a day off, I wonder what excuses I can make to get out of working today... 🤔11 -
When the best event of the day is a business phonecall and you are a developer.
Customer actually gets what we do, is excited about it and is willing to put in some effort. -
I really want 2017 to be a great year...
One thing I do is have a movie marathon ... Last few years I did the Hobbit movies ...
I can't think what to do to start of this year 🤔
I'm already building this site ... For new year's day but I dunno what to watch to get me in the spirit , any suggestions ?5 -
(Day 1 of Database Class)
Database Prof - "Your final project is a program or app that deals with big data and showcases data analysis. Make something that can be used by consumers and has real-world application."
(After the Day of Showcasing Projects)
Database Prof -
(What he should have said on Day 1) - "Make something that makes me laugh with added data." -
Client Of The Day : Hi, I would like to have a website. I went to an agency but are too expensive for me. Can you do me this website for less than €150 ($170) ?
Me : -_-
So, question. What is your minimum for a freelance assignment ?5 -
An internal error occurred during: "Initializing Java Tooling".
java.lang.NullPointerException
-.-"1 -
Time spend with coding: 2 hours
Time spend with branching, merging, fixing merge mistakes and check if systemnis building again: 4 hours
What a miserable day... -
What if there was like a 1-2 day workshop that helped recruiters be more technically fluent? Like the basics of software development (not programming, but concepts and what engineers really do)?6
-
I remember the day when I was in first year college. We were tasked to make a c++ program that will print a diamond pattern. Didn't know that you could achieve that with for loops.
What I did?
A hard coded one.
What I got?
An F -
Do you remember what kind of questions and information you were given *after* being hired as a programmer?
For example, in the service industry, they might tell you about payroll, how they do scheduling, what a typical day looks like for your role, etc.12 -
What could make a programmers day worse?
Trying to find a bug, WITHOUT AN ERROR MESSAGE!
fuck QlikView. -
So.... my colleague just used `var` for assigning every variable in Flutter.
What a wonderful day....1 -
What do you mean you sent a fucking mail about it? Theres a reason we have case systems with case fucking numbers. Its so that we can keep track of different customers, which is crucial for day to day operations. You retarded fucking fuck.
-
New job had me working on a Mac.. great! Let's give this a shot and see what the fuss is about.
One year later and I can now knowledgeably say that macOS is balls slow, the worst Unix I've used day to day, Debian/Ubuntu 4 lyf.1 -
Day 3 as the Junior Dev.
Co worker fucks every time on defining functions in python
What my asshole teammate does is:
def someShitFunc():
print(shit)
And he was clearly instruct to return value not print the value what a jerk he is.
I have to fix his all problems and in meeting he brags how his code worked. What a sucker.4 -
I finally got one of these boards, I still need to figure what to track on it, I already have a planner with me for my day to day
any suggestions?
10 -
Question of the day:
What to do when listing fees on exchanges too high?
Answer:
Unicorn;)
And a happy new year (delayed though :p)!
10 -
New "senior" mobile developer started the other day, doesn't know what core data is or the best way to implement a network call. I'll just leave that there to sink in for a second.1
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Terrible project with unclear requirement, lots of legacy and a client that doesn't know what he wants. Quite a bit of procrastination because of this situation, then crunch day & night to hold the deadline.
Then the project was scrapped.1 -
What a great day at AWS Summit!
Now I can build all the guestbooks / pet-stores I ever wanted!
#basic.2 -
Now, I didn't even really know Employee Appreciation Day was a thing until an article appeared on the company intranet about it coming up.
From Wikipedia:
"It is a day for companies to thank their employees for their hard work and effort throughout the year. This day was created for the purpose of strengthening the bond between employer and employee."
I thought, "Oh, cool. I wonder what they're doing for it."
You know what they did?
They encouraged us to use the internal eCard system to send each other notes of appreciation. "Let's break a record," they said. "Most eCards sent in one day!"
And that's it. That's how my employer showed their appreciation for me.
I feel so... appreciated?
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
P.S. Yes, we broke the record.
P.P.S. No, I didn't get any eCards.4 -
So this happened a while ago, me and my friends designed a website for our college and upon the day of releasing it you realize what assholes people can be when you receive messages like this doesn’t open in uc browser🤦🏻♂️
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What does a job as a Software Developer Feels like ?
( I was wondering what tasks are exactly needed to be done when you're finally employed as a Software Developer proficient in one or more programming languages. )
Have a Nice day ;)3 -
What a sad day for emulation tbh.
But yuzu had it coming, considering the practices they employed 🤷
They also have to pay a 2.4Mio fine.
13 -
With every day that passes, I more and more want to do something else as a profession...
But WHAT?!?!8 -
Finding out that the Project Manager and Test Manager are actually in a relationship then spending the rest of the day trying to work out what you said to each of them in confidence
-
Made a little change to the project.
Went out to grab coffee.
Project broke.
Forgot what change was made.
2 hours spent tracking down the change.
People ask me why I work 12 hours a day. Here's why.4 -
Depends on what a tough dev day is. If it was just a tough day usually playing ice hockey helps. If it was a stressful day, board games with my daughter, provided it's not a Wednesday (her Mom's night). If it's a tough problem or bug I'm working on then alcohol, running or lifting, sex, general distractions will do the trick
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My salary. They came back with a solid counteroffer on what was supposed to be my last day and here I am.7
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Today i sent an email to a client about some last details of a project. This happened in the morning.
The day is now over and got no response.
Tomorrow is Friday.
We all know now what is going to happen.1 -
What a day when not even the coffee machine starts up...
I was thinking last week was hard where the milk was out -
So far I've spent about half my day waiting for my computer to respond (cpu @ 100%). Can't tell if this is a good day, or bad day.
What a waste of company resources/time. At least I'm being paid well to sit and twiddle my thumbs daily as this is a daily occurrence.10 -
Things like this are what makes my day a little more bearable. A little more bearable because I laugh myself to tears.
2 -
I f*cking hate "ticket creep". I feel like half my worktime (as a tech lead) is spent just to contain what people ask for or report in a ticket. "No, you fool, this ticket isn't about that, file a different one!" is what i'm most likely to be thinking during any work day.3
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when that time comes, and I have an empty queue, I'll spend the day on desktop doing: right click - refresh..
it's been a while since checked what my background looks like!1 -
So after programming in the Vue framework, I have developed a habit of Ctrl + S for anytime I would usually use Enter. I just typed in setting in the search bar and press Ctrl + S.
What are your habits you took up from programming and just cannot shake it down in day to day life.7 -
It's about valentine's day again. any idea what a single programmer like me can do?.
last year I made a chatbot app to wish me valentine's day 😂7 -
!rant
What did you do in life before you got into computers/development?
I was mostly a nolife gamer who could play video games 12 hours a day. I was also obsessed with History.
Loved also Philosophy, Politics, Theology, Geography, Biology, Arts and Literature.2 -
Anyone here tried dotnet Blazor yet? seems interesting thus far. I have been toying with it for a good portion of the day and I've got to say that thus far I like what I see.4
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Advice needed!!
I had a telephonic conversation a few days ago with a startup and they said they would assign me a task the next day. At the end next day I emailed them asking about the task as they didn't assign me yet. They replied saying they would assign it the next day.
That day was yesterday and I still didn't get a task.*What do I do?* I don't want to look desperate but I'm in short of time and won't be able to manage if it gets more delayed.3 -
What a fucking day.
Half a day looking for functionality on github that was lost in some branch and not merged to master. All remotes was pruned. Finally restored it from some remote on production and merged to master before Saturday release. Yeah !!!!
Month saved fuckers, pick some more hardcore shit to surprise me. To strong to fail. -
How my friends work day goes, I worked at the same firm and on the same project, I dont pity him.
70% debugging
25% refactoring - after his pull request was denied a few times, and had to rewrite that code in question a few time. I think most people go mad
3% test writing
2% code writing -
Day 11 of devWholesome...
I think it is very important today to express how much we care about others. Today I want you to do something nice for a friend or family member and tell them how much you care about them. You realize how important the ones around us are and what they mean to you. Tell me what you did today that fulfills that goal in the comments. And as always, make the most out of your day!1 -
So, not really a rant. The opposite in fact. With all this frustration about GDPR lately, GUESS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED?! My domains (at one registrar so far) where all made private because of the law. GOOD DAY!
2 -
!dev
what a nice day to have birthday on the first day of #wk100 :)
... and having a deadline till tomorrow 12am and there's still stuff open. o boi -
What are you doing today?
Oh just rererereinstalling windows. Not even a little upset. Not like I'm in the middle of a *swearword* boot camp. Not like I'm supposed to be coding a conservative 8-10 hours a day. Nbd. This is my favorite way to spend time.1 -
Get to work before everyone is there to work a while without interruption.
Be the first there... to fix the worst problem of the year which appears this night. What a nightmare.
But it's done and fixed I'm happy ....
Half day is over now come to the real work. Oh wait Chef want to know what happens.
Day is over.
Best day of the Year!2 -
!rant
"This vendor system is broken and we need the data in its DB. Here's a report used to use from it. Build a new report in SSRS that we can use to pull out all the records."
+1 day tearing apart their data warehouse to find where things are.
+1 day duplicating their sample report
"Well, you did a good job duplicating what we had, but we want something that will pull every single bit of possibly related information that's in the system, and not just what was on the report we gave you."
ffs!1 -
Any recommendations on what I should get? 8GB DDR4 RAM or 240GB SSD
I have Dell Inspiron 3567 with 8GB RAM and 1TB HDD. I would just like to have an overall faster/smoother experience in my day to day tasks. Like opening up applications or building projects.
Maybe it's worth mentioning that I do a lot of Android development. Haha!13 -
My first Rant/Story
One year ago I was told I'll be working on a Magento 2 project.
I was told it's great you'll see it's so much better then Magento 1 (at that time I didn't even know what Magento is or what it's used for).
Now one year later, a day doesn't pass that I don't discover something new in it to hate. Every day there is something new that doesn't make any sense at all. But I found my way to live with it.. at least it isn't boring haha -
1. How do you feel about on unproductive day?
2. What you will do to overcome unproductive day?
3. Is Arrogance need for to be a good Devloper.?5 -
Migrating angular project from version 2.x to 4.0.1 developed by a colleague. Everything's fine but there is a animation package he used which is extreme incompatible with angular 4. What a day xD
-
Senior: “we can go remote now, but you have to report what you did at the end of the day. Ex: 7am clock in work on bla bla to 10am. 10am -12nn still working on bla bla. Til end of day.”
What a crap. Now I don’t want to work remote with this bunch of reports at the end the day. Some bullshit in here.3 -
What the fuck does Spring Break mean?!
A: Spring has begun.
B: Here's a break. Go have some fun!
But no, here in Buffalo, the snow doesn't give a shit, it keeps falling!
And no! You want a break? How fucking cute! Here are two projects for you to work on that you gotta submit , the first day after spring break ends! and a midterm exam the day after!
Fmfl.2 -
Today I was forced to code in 4 hours what I had planned for 2 days. I have a feeling that any change to that code will take a day to implement.
-
Today was the last day in a project that I've hated so much. But now I'm feeling kind of nostalgic. What the fuck is wrong with me?
-
Tell me what is value of a "," ( comma) in programming?
Because
I spent a whole day debugging errors one after another and atlast the main reason of all errors leads to a fking comma 😑8 -
What are some good introductory level CTFs?
I've got a free day tomorrow without any class, so I'm trying to work on something fun but useful.17 -
Threading gui's and sockets...
What a painful day...
I honestly hate python dependency hell.
Started coding in python 2 months back, currently working on a distributed alarm system using rpi3's spent the whole day figuring out how to use it all without them all crashing into one another...1 -
Still wondering what it says about me when I tell my wife it was a good day because no one emailed or pinged me 😁1
-
Say what you will about macOS. I just finished a task that was supposed to take me all day in 3 hours, and half of that was re-familiarizing myself with AppleScript.2
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Hey, to all programmers here :) ...
What do you do when you don't have to code for a day :o...How will you spend this holiday ^_^?8 -
How do you switch off after a day of technical thinking? What hobbies do you enjoy that don't have you sitting in front of a monitor?3
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What a productive day! Managed to speed up some code by getting rid of some classic ASP AND sticking it in a dotNET library instead! Ran some benchmarks and it seems to work pretty fast now 😎1
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Day... or... umm... Night 6 of devWholesome...
Happy Halloween folks! Today we celebrate spooking ourselves on purpose to feel anything but despair in the hell that is quarantine. Go watch a scary movie or have a small little halloween party with your family! Comment on this post if you celebrate halloween, what you are dressed up as, and what you are doing to celebrate. And as always make the most out of your day... I mean... night!3 -
What percentage of your time is spent actuslly coding?
In a week, I spend not more than 1 full working day writing codes. The rest is spent doing PoCs, designing (LLD and rarely HLD), solutioning and deployment.1 -
Building up me getting off my break of programming by doing a few small exercises each day testing new small front end stuff (since that's what I'm learning rn)
-
Wednesdays. The day we get every single dev in a meeting room, and get everyone to explain what the fuck they are working on and what sort of issues they are having. Regardless of whether you'll ever see that site or not. Can't think of a bigger fucking waste of time.... ....meetings for the sake of meetings.... PISS OFF!!1
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A colleague of mine were bashing all day long about which JavaFX scene builder is the best. Let's settle this what do you think?1
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Came to rant about a thing not working only to try and post an image here 3 times... ugh... what a fucking day.2
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29th is a big day for me!
Physics exam that day....
What am I thinking right now???
"Should I continue with learning SQL or first finish off JavaScript course!!"
😐😑 -
Keep developer occupied whole day on useless calls to see what he's working on.
Ask next day what he worked on whole day yesterday and to present progress report.
Obviously nothing mf because he was on a call with you. He doesn't have 36 hours in a day.
Moron. -
Currently looking into switching from Windows to Linux as my main day to day OS (at least for development). What distros do you recommend based on my entire Linux experience being a RasPi?4
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So today was my last day before heading off for an2 week holiday. Spent most of the day explaining to my team what needs to be done and how everything has been structured for the current project, but I get the feeling they don't understand any of it.
Pretty sure I'll be coming back to a clusterfuck. -
Holiday (Labor Day) == Personal Work/Clear ToDos Day
I think I got 10% of what I had planned to get done done... :(
I'm also planning to take a week off soon though not really going anywhere... It's supposed to be a Workation but... -
Bought a stream deck on prime day with the intention of using them for macros. Now it has arrived, and I realized that I don't have a clue what macros to make.1
-
Trying to upgrade to macOS High Sierra, guess what? After half a day of backing up and installation, I time traveled. My Mac is still running macOS Sierra. 🙄
(Luckily i backed up)4 -
Hey I am actually proud of myself today :) I managed to pretty much do my task at work and I got a lot of school work done. Pretty nice day. Not every day is full of rants and anger people. A lot of times it's good we do what we love.
-
Does your company have a dress code? What do you wear for an average day?
And if you're a student, what do you wear normally?30 -
This is the 4th day at my new job. Just got a call from Unilever. Im invited for a second interview there. First world problems of a developer. What job to choose :/
-
If one day you wake-up with a billion idea (tech/app) in mind.
What would be the stack for develop it?5 -
Currently feeling like I wont get anything done without visualizing it on a whiteboard... What a nice day...
-
Day 1 of Engineering Programming 100. One "System.out.println("Hello world");" later, and I'm like "Yeah I'm a hacker so what?"
-
My Android phone's built-in app manager blocks auto-startup of an app from Taobao 1200 times per day.
Hmm what a beast.1 -
Oh yeah! I am a struggling coder. I have a dream. I want to be a coder what if I am a software tester now. I will create my own softwares. The day I get my concepts right, you will see me scripting your story!
2 -
So after the CIO pretty much does a table flip to the division about causing near daily customer impact we now have seven business day cool period for Changes and 13 cross functional teams stood up with 1, 15, 30, 60, and 90 day deliverables to an executive audience.
Guess what my team did today?
Offline a major Production database during the middle of the day, thinking they were in Development. Didn’t notice for 40 minutes. -
I am going to school for a BS in computer science and the other day my dad tagged me in a job for IT. Spent the next couple hours explaining what my job actually is.1
-
What a fuck is wrong with GitHub? Almost every day there are a few minutes when requests take ages to load. Is Microsoft messing up their cloud?
(Everything else works correctly. E.g. devRant opened instantly, speedtest measures good network speed)7 -
Spent my whole day (9-6) trying to fix some problem with local server. End of the day. The problem is still there and i dont know a single shit what make the problem. Frog !
-
so yesterday was a fun day. I'm wiring up dbvis toour db life cycle envs. connection to dev, works. move on to Val, connection works. move on to prod, boom, dbvis violates some security protocal that obviously does not exist in dev or Val which locks out the dB acct. I single handedly shutdown production, simply trying to connect with dbvis. smh. what a day!!
-
What is the average working hours of a freelance web developer??? I work 12hrs a day..but i think that's not enough!3
-
What the hell is happening? I have gotten 99 notif in a day. The last one is just a single spam reply. Did the devRant got raided by spam bots?5
-
Every day I’ll open up wordle, but before I enter a guess I’ll google “What is today’s wordle answer?” Then I’ll just enter in the answer to get a 1/6 every time. After that I’ll post my score to twitter and when people accuse me of cheating because I get a 1/6 every day I just lie and say “no I’m really smart that’s how I knew what the word was.”
Is that cheating??9 -
Get to work, I'm going to have a really productive day tackling problem X. What do you mean Jenkins decided to corrupt every local SVN checkout? Spent the day getting Jenkins back on its feet and trying to figure out why it hated last night. Tomorrow... I'm going to have a really productive day tackling problem X...
-
What the fuck, does an EAT even do?!! Other than gaining a salary comparable to a Dev and just sitting in meeting day in day out.
How the fuck can someone work in tech without knowing even the basics of programming12 -
What everyone needs to remember is there is never a time when I’m not starting to remember or remembering or just in an elevated state of I know you’re up to something so if you al think you’re able to get away with things over and over again you’re looking at this wrong
I’m being given literally an opportunity for revenge every day multiple times a day8 -
Greetings guys, I am just going to my first assesment day and I have no idea what to expect. If anyone has any generic advise i am all ears. Its for a junior java dev. Thanks in advance
-
It feels good to jot down tasks for the day in the first 5 minutes of coming to office. I know what needs to be done for the day and what was accomplished the previous day. Also I tend to be on proper track during daily standup. So maintaining a work related TODO list helps a lot.
-
I've been tasked with adding QuickBooks online to a cloud solution we have. Being the newest dev here I did what any self respecting dev would do. Spent all day on stack overflow and Google 😂
-
I asked my manager for a day off on 27th May to watch the friends reunion, he had no idea of what friends is, now we are on a break.1
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Data scientists: I have logged how busy my gym was for a week (every minute). How would I generate a graph of a typical day? I haven’t done anything like this, so I don’t know how to approach the problem. Basically I want to see what time of the day there’s a quiet period on average.11
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