Wife: the neighbors brought their pc, it doesn't work.

Me: WTF did I say to you. I DON'T REPAIR ANYTHING NO PCS, PRINTERS, WASHMACHINES NOTHING TELL THEM TO GET THE FUCKING PC GODDAMIT ITS MY FREE DAY FOR THE LOVE OF GOD.

I FUCKING HATE THOSE TWATS GODDAMIT I CANT HOLD IT I WANT TO FUCKIN SLAP THEM

Goddamit Apple fanboys... I saw 5 tents infront of the Apple Store in Zürich switzerland today, I MEAN WTF ARE YOU DOING WITH YOUR LIFE? SPENDING AT LEAST 1000 CHF (around the Same in USD) FOR A FUCKING PHONE WHICH IS FROM APPLE!? WTF?! WHY? WHAT IS THE FUCKING POINT OF ALL THIS NONSENSE?! EXPLAIN THIS BULLFUCK TO ME!!

"...the way he has written the code, it feels nasty man. I would have done it this way..."

Fuck you and your feelings. If you think my code is bad, give justification for it. Explain the fucking reason. Stop saying it "feels" like a bad code.

Fucking tired of this mentality in most of the developers. Why is it that the moment you look at someone else's code, you feel like you would have written it better. Programming is problem solving. And you can solve a problem in couple of different way.

If the code is absolute shit, has followed no best practices then yeah, go ahead and call it a bad code. But just because you would have moved some lines here and there, that doesn't mean the other persons code is horrible.

Goddamit!

*deploys new VPS*
Click clack tap.. alright, done.
*notices that I accidentally made an Ubuntu 14.04*
Well shit... Guess I'll have to update that immediately to 18.04 then.
*logs in, immediately disables SSH password auth*
# systemctl restart sshd
> systemctl: command not found.
What the fuck..?
What was the command for that old init again.. >_<
# /etc/init.d/ssh restart

WHY THE FUCK IS THIS UBUNTU STILL USING THAT OLD INIT?!! Goddamit, Canonical living up to the philosophy of its Debian counterpart indeed!

WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCKING FUCK MICROSOFT?!!
I go to log into my laptop:
me: *enter the pin*
Windows: Error
me: Ok let's try the password...
Win: WRONG PASSWORD!
me: *checking my password manager* Nope, pretty sure that's correct... Ok, whatever let's try to reset it.
me: *generates new password and resets the password for the account*
Windows: You can now log in
me: *enters the new password*
Windows: WRONG PASSWORD!
me: that's weird... let's try that again
Windows: WRONG PASSWORD!
me: Ok... reset once more *I enter the same password I generated before*
Windows: ThAt Is An OlD pAsSwOrD
me: *getting really pissed* FINE, GODDAMIT, HERE, NEW PASSWORD
Windows: You can now log in
me: *enters the new new password*
Windows: wRoNg PaSsWoRd!

jdjsjcjj+3+@!o(€;#@!(&(1!!#((#(€_"jsjeucjcjfdjosdifhshabxnfnxjsosoguwqlqqlall#7@+1(
aaaaaáaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK
YOU FUCKING INCOMPETENT CUNTS AT MICROSOFT!!!!!1!!!!!!!

I'M GONNA FUCKING TEAR YOU INTO THOUSAND PIECES AND THEN RUN YOU THROUGH A SHREDDER!!

YOU MOTHERFUCKING IDIOTIC CUNTS
FREAKING DEGENERATES

Goddamit! Why does hitting Ctrl+Y in android studio is set to delete a line by default? Shouldn't it be redo? Who the fuck designed it? Thank God I can reassign keyboard shortcuts in android studio.

And so net neutrality dies in the US... Mofo Ajit Pai why you do this to us? Literally 80 percent of people are against this repeal. So what the heck does he do? Repeal em of course. Hope he burns in hell forever. By that I mean I hope he has to have really slow internet forever. Now that would be justice.

Before production deployment: Everything is running well, all bugs are fixed, serenity sets in.

Production deployment day: Fire everywhere

goddamit we don't get a fucking break

No work experience: I'm gonna be the best programmer in the world. My code is beautiful. This is my passion.

After 1-2 years experience: just f@#$!ng work pls so i can go home goddamit i hate my life im hungry f@$!% everyone.

My Unreal project right now:
FVector
std::vector
Eigen::Vector
KDL::Vector
....
*sigh*
And people ask me why I like Lisp. A Vector is a Vector goddamit! Half my project is now just parsing the same variable to the different functions. sigh....I hate this.

Oh GODDAMIT Nexus!!!

You gotta love it when you're in a hurry, unlock the fucking phone while it is plugged in to the goddamn charger, and the bloody thing just fucking shuts down because the battery is apparently empty. WHEN YOU HAVE A FUCKING 15 WATT CHARGING CABLE STUFFED UP YOUR BUTT?!!

You know Google, if I wanted an iPhone battery with tons of little "features", don't you think that I would've bought a fucking iPhone?!

Goddamit Perl.

so i ordered free samples of microcontrollers because i didnt want to waste money... in the receipt, i saw Oct 28, 2017 and im like oh cool i guess ill receive it on that date.

today they sent me an email saying they have already shipped the package today and im like wtf why just now and i looked over the receipt again and saw:

SHIPMENT DATE: October 28, 2017

i swear to god i flippes shit because it may actually arrive in a month or two and the project has to be submitted in a month. goddamit and there is no other way! i have to buy it :(( the worst part of it is that i have another set of microcontrollers TO BE SHIPPED in January. theyre for the next project which should be submitted in January.

lesson: TIME IS FUCKING GOLD. if u want free sample, order them at least 3 months before u start the project.

Me: I'll get it to you tomorrow.

Supervisor: (*Sarcasm abounding*) That's fiiiiine, thank you sooo much for all of your haard work.

Fucker, you have no idea. Learn to code before making comments like that, goddamit.

Goddamit I hate it when services advertise how they are about security and then deny me using random readable words with hyphens as passwords.

Today started off great!

New 5TiB HDD... Check!

Formatted with zfs under LUKS, with a high level.of compression and dedup... Check!

Copying over roughly 4TiB of data, about 2 of which was scattered in small files... Coworker unplugged it from AC thinking it was his (they are sort of similar), when the process was almost complete.

Goddamit. zpool scrub.... 6 hours left. It's 9 pm over here, and I'm not a fan of leaving my stuff at work. Goddammit.

...I guess tomorrow is another day.

Goddamit belgian beers

I've ordered my better a half a christmas present. He just send me a link of that exact christmas present. I had to tell him not to buy it for "reasons".
Fk you google! You ruined the X-Mas suprise T_T
It got suggested to him by google when he was looking for something similar.
Goddamit. I was so proud to have found it first T_T

Goddamit now that school's started I don't have time to code any more. Why can't I just not do school and code all day gahhhhhhhhhhh

Another nice rant while I try to find a job.

I make an interview with the senior dev (they are small and don't have a hr).
Everything sails snooth and they tell me "We will tell u something at the end of august"

Well yesterday I wrote to them, asking for news and not only they give me a negative response... (after they also said they forgot about me) but.... THE WROTE MY GODDAMIT NAME WRONG!

Like my email has my name in it, I presented my self and I closed the same mail with my signature. Yet they write a completly wrong name.

Like wtf!!! you can't even look for my name? it feels like they don't even know who I was.

I can say I'm lucky not to work for them.

i had to write some js and css / html for a small project that i work on Django.

GODDAMIT I FUCKIN HATE IT MY HEAD HURTS WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT
FUCK IT

LEAVE ME ALONE WITH MY GOD LOVELY PYTHON
OR ANY BACKEND LAGNUAGE(except php of course)

jesus christ i almost threw the goddamn pc out of the window.

fuck front end.

tl;dr never heard about rubber duck debugging before devrant

i didnt worked with Yii fw in the past but we bouth a site written in Yii and i wanted to add a form but could not pass the model to the view so i went for a smoke with my roommate to think about it

"i have the view, i have the model, the action but dont know how to pass the model variable because its an existing view..."

"...it should be passed to the render function in the existing index action but thats written somewhere else, so if i could pass it there..."

"...i can write the action there and then i should pass the variable to the render function in the index action and goddamit, so thats how you do it, thanks mate!"

he stared at me like wtf? o.O

room mate debugging ftw!

Finally, I finally got my dream job, but three weeks after starting, I will say I am going into depression.

First, I have to learn a new language (the lang is less than 7 years old) on the job. The language is so different from the paradigm I am used to-from OOP to functional programming, it has very little confusing documentation and a small but growing community.

Though I have been able to show some work, goddamit, it's taking me blood and sand to adjust and be productive.

My onboarding tasks are fixing bugs and implementing a feature, and it has been like walking in a dark tunnel.

I have to face my problem alone as all the devs in the team have swapped.

I rarely sleep, and I recently started to have an existential crisis!

Also, I work part-time on another project, and my output is so poor due to the fact that I am trying to adjust to the new job. Just this evening, I got a call from the manager who was passively aggressive, complaining and asking me to rethink (a passive way of saying "you are fired, if you do not...").

I am feeling anxious. It is taking so much time daily to adjust to the new job.

Will the depression pass?

Sometimes people ask me for my Favorite song,
I'll always Awnser,
Middle Finger by CoCoon
Because this song describes my Life...
AND IT DOES IT REALLY FUCKING WELL AND I FUCKING HATE IT THAT SOME GAYFUCKERS ALWAYS ASK ME THIS SHIT OF AN QUESTION! GODDAMIT PEOPLE! LEAVE ME A FUCKING LONE! AND NEVER ASK ME THIS BULLFUCK AGAIN! OK?!

#NoHomo

The platform team who provides all other teams with common framework emails everybody we need to upgrade the framework to new version. Let’s say version 1.a.0. They say it brings crucial security features and all pipelines using old versions would be blocked. My colleague created a story to upgrade all of our 10 microservices. When I got to it in a couple of days for some fucking reason they already rolled out 1.a.1 and didn’t inform anybody, the pipelines just logged warning u need to use 1.a.1. Alright, I did the upgrade to 1.a.1 and merged ducking everything in 10 fucking microservices. In a couple of days at morning they roll our 1.a.2 and require everybody to upgrade ducking degenerates as they found a high severity bug. I wanted to start again but was lazy and did nothing all day to learn that at 6pm the fuckers roll out 1.a.3!!! And again require everyone to upgrade!1!1!1eleven
Ten fuxkibg microservices. Goddamit write some unit tests, do friends&family, do fucking tests on small group of your inner clients before rolling out this shit that everybody must to use.
Spat at the display

JESUS CHRIST GOOGLE YOU ARE A MULTIBILLION DOLLAR COMPANY HOW THE FUCK IS YOUR WEBSITE DESIGN SO SHIT?
goddamit with the amount of fucking whitespace on YouTube I could fit an entire fucking copy of the website in.

So I am working in this startup at Stockholm for 6 months and 1 week ago decided to leave.

I am still under probation period(5 days left until probation period is over), so I should have actually given 1 months notice. However we had many meetings about this and we decided that I will give 2 months notice.

Like we decided, previous week I gave founders a notice of 2 months and they agreed to it. I sent them e-mail and they confirmed it so I have proof.

This week all of a sudden they are saying that their plans have changed and there won't be much work to do for me so they are are forcing me to leave after 3-4 weeks.

I understand their point of view. Since my salary is 41k, they are spending totally 53k sek on me monthly. So their idea is to save extra 53k sek by forcing me to leave 1 month earlier. Also I've heard that they plan to hire another person 2-3 months later after I leave, so essentially they will save 150-200k sek and that's fine, I get it, it's business as usual right?

What I don't understand is how can they be so inhumane?

We agreed that notice is 2 months. I informed all my relatives (since I will be leaving Sweden). I gave notice to my landlord (deposit is 10k sek) and etc. I wanted to have 8 more weeks to plan what I'm going to do when I leave.

When asked wether I can leave by the end of this month I didn't know what to answer. I said that I will need to think about it and now I'm "thinking" about it. First of all I mentioned to them that I am risking to loose my deposit. Instead of offering any compensation, they keep asking me how they can help me to leave as soon as I can?

Situation is really messed up.

Since according to the contract I am still under probation(even though I started working earlier than stated in contract, so technically I shouldn't be under probation) I have no idea what they can do if I don't agree to their terms.

As far as I know they are obligated to give me 1 months notice if they are firing me while I'm under probation, so it doesn't seem that I would have much power in this situation.

If I would try to force them to keep me around for total 8 weeks, they can just officially fire me while I'm under probation and I will have to leave in 4 weeks. However after one week I will become a permanent employee and then they will have to give me 2 months notice if they want to fire me. So it seems that they are trying to save their face by trying to force me to leave earlier on my own will.

My current plan is to agree with them and actually leave at the end of this month. But with conditions.

First I need to get in touch with my landlord, explain the situation and hope that he would give back my deposit even if I'm leaving 1 month earlier than I've told him before.

Also, since these guys decided to mess up my plans by trying to save some money, I think I should demand for some compensation? Like 10-15k? I had plans goddamit and we agreed that notice will be 2 months via e-mail after all.

So for the past two days I had to deal with a problem where I have to do a nested query with sequelize, pretty straight forward reading the documentation, or that was I think. I implemented everything according to the docs but the query stills fails, why ? I had no idea, I double check my implementation, I googled the error, no luck, after a day searching like crazy I talked with the backend lead about this and he help me to realize that the naming convention was changing because sequelize is creating a nested (SELECT * FROM) because one of the relations has a one-to-many realtion with the root model and I'm why the heck is doing that? But we both didn't know, and the problem was solved by just modifying the names, so we let it through, and sent it to QA. The next day I see the task rejected by QA and the reason was after the changes were merged another part of the app was broken, ok np, I'll fix it right away, and oh God I found the error was caused by another query that was including the first query we fix yesterday ! It was a nested query with 3 lvls! And the names became even more complex ( like `model1->model2.colum1`), goddamit, ok, I spent most of the day searching again, nothing, read the specification of the findAll function, nope, tried to put that name in the ON clause as the docs suggested, still an error, shit, then the lead helps me again and creates a literal which can hold that name and voila! Everything is happiness, at least for that moment, but I was still curious about this behavior, so I keep digging on it and I've just found an issue where a great guy posted an option to the findAll method that is not documented in any version of sequelize ! WTF ! And this option was "subQuery" which if you set it to false it won't create that additional (SELECT * FROM) from before, FUUUCK! I can't believe it, I know that all the effort works in my favor because I learn more about sequelize, but FFS I'm still angry because this shit shouldn't happen, you need to update the god damn docs, it's just adding a row and telling the people what it does. Well to end this, after putting that in the query and replacing all the workarounds with the expected syntaxis everything works like charm.