It's the biggest satisfaction to know that Wix means wank in German!
"why not do it yourself" just adds to it.

I often think in if statements ..

Every job description out there:
" JUNIOR XY position.
Requirements: 50 years experience of Assembly, Java and Masonry, HTML, cloud based computing and artificial intelligence. Must be able to write algorithms like Hummingbird. Fluent in English, Mandarin and Latin. Must have five doctor and two Bachelor degrees. Experience in leading a Fortune 500 company benefitial.
Renumeration: 5 rice grains"

Pet peeves as a programmer and ex hobbyist hacker:

1. People who press F12, change a colour and consider themself a hacker or/and programmer.

2. People who pick up someone's phone, guess their passcode and post shit saying 'hacked' at the end.

These people can kindly fuck off to the hellish dimension they came 👌

oh sh*t waddup ill hax ur toaster m8 git on my fkn level

DevRant makes me really proud how well developers can act together as a group. Makes me think what we could accomplish if we would take all the world's developers and programmers to one place and make our own country. Our currency will be devCoin. World domination follows shortly afterwards

I am patiently waiting till someone makes me close my laptop or tell me some bullshit like 'stop hacking' inside ships/trains/planes

I am passive aggressive and willing to put up a fight :smileyface:

That moment when you're finally getting your user registration and login system up and running!
As a web dev student I feel like I have accomplished something :)

How my lecturer drilled JS syntax into us:

Write this:
var x = document.element;
x.value = 10;

Instead of this:
document.element.value = 10;

His reasoning:
"You make the cake in the kitchen, you don't put icing on it on your way to present the cake"

Had my pure PHP web app rejected on a market platform because I didn't use a framework..
BITCH IT WORKS PERFECTLY WITHOUT A FUCKING FRAMEWORK, IF YOU WOULD HAVE TESTED IT YOU WOULD HAVE SEEN THAT!

I feel terrible making $3,634/year at my current job in Nigeria with all my skills and experience.
I've applied for jobs in Germany and had a couple of interviews but they fell through.

It's difficult been a software engineer in Nigeria. 😔

Started part time job at a company, had to log my time on timesheets. Said fuck this and now the whole company logs their hours on a custom web based time logging system which I built.

So earlier today as I was walking out of class, I overheard some people talking.
One of them said “Oh I hacked google”
Then the other one said “Oh yeah I hacked google aswell. I made it say (something I forgot)”
They were thinking that using the dev tools to make one of the tags say stuff was hacking.
😤😤😤😤😤😤😤😤😤😤😤
I had to run away
It was t o o m u c h

StackOverflow is ruthless! You only have to breathe and you'll get downvoted!

!dev

The school I went to didn't have PCs when I first joined (had some RISC OS machines instead). They got Windows 95 PCs eventually and networked them. I had no experience with networking before this, but had a PC at home. We all had mapped drives to resources on the server. The PCs were pretty locked down - no "Run" command etc.

Anyway, one day the head of IT came in to one of the lessons and asked me "how I did it".

What had I done? Well, clearly he had seen something I'd taught one of my friends. I wrote it down for him.

1. Right-click the desktop
2. New shortcut
3. \\nameofserver
4. OK

Such hax, being able to see the file shares on the server.

Shortly after this, all computer areas had signs saying "no shortcuts allowed"...

Friend of mine created a blog from scratch... You could create a post, by just sending a POST request (no authentication required!)....
As an additional bonus: you could dump full unfiltered HTML in a post, which was then executed...

Please kill me

Secretly installed Automate app on my friend's Android phone to mess with him. (For those who don't know, with Automate you can automate anything on an Android device).
Made a 'flow' that would read his incoming sms's, and send an email to me with his exact location if I sent him an SMS saying 'where are you?'.
Was funny to mess with him and tell him his exact location even though we were miles apart.
Cleared it up for him a while later but it made me feel like #hackerman

Last night I had a panic attack and woke up in cold sweats because in the dream I had I was constantly using the wrong variables in the wrong places...

Boss: I want feature foo!
Me: that will be a bit tricky because bar...
Boss: It's easy, you just baz!
Me: ok boss :) *hax around bar*

I convinced someone that I hacked the government by doing the "help" command.

Analog mail still works!
Stickers finally arrived! Thanks @dfox and @trogus for this amazing community !

People seem to like cryptographic puzzles. Well, try this one for size:

b417021dc01b409ad0c21b430a508624

Answer is a sentence in plain english. Space is used, but no punctuation. Post answer to comments. Good luck :D

Another day, another task that requires magic. I'm stuck trying to connect hibernate envers and tomcat. Both work fine on their own, but now envers needs session data and i see no way to make that work because THAT GODDAMN ENVERS-LISTENER HAS NO WAY OF ACCESSING THAT INFORMATION WITHOUT GODAWFUL INSTABLE HACKS.

The sorting button on devRant's feed page is just Gilfoyle's tattoo twice, once upside down like Dinesh says.

Started coding HTML, CSS and JavaScript as part of my multimedia design studies. Lecturer would throw up a simple 960 page on the projector, said "make this" and left the room. Being thrown in the deep end is definitely a way to learn that taught me a lot

Was the discovery of Ajax also mindblowing for other web devs here ?

Who here is both a graphic designer AND developer?

Rate my high tech setup, i spent alot of time putting it together.

System crashed and caused MAMP to fuck out, all table data gone or inaccessible. FUCK THIS SHIT !

!rant

I'm dreaming of a web language that is as close to the English language as possible.
Imagine:
<html>
nav bar with 5 links
slider with 3 images that runs automatically
Section with 3 images next to each other
Paragraph with first word in red
Footer with menu and sign up form
</html>

This would be the shit!

"Internal error: initial hax sync failed" - yeah, that can't be a real error!

Going from freelance to part time to soon full time