HTML: Hate This Meaningless Life
CSS: Can't Style Shit
JS: Just Shit
Java: Just another vicious asshole
PHP: PHP Hates People
Go: (the "fuck yourself" is silent)
.NET: Now Everybody Thinks (they can code)

I really should find a more productive thing to do on my breaks.

Deleting files when not in use only to later realise how much I need them.

Fuck my life.

FUCK YOU SHITTY FUCKING DICK HEAD!!!.. I'M FUCKING TIRED OF YOUR FUCKING BULLSHIT ABOUT "YOU'RE A PROGRAMMER... YOU MUST KNOW HOW TO USE PHOTOSHOP!"... OR "SUCH A SHITTY PROGRAMMER YOU ARE... DON'T YOU KNOW HOW TO FIX MY COMPUTER"... OR "CAN YOU MAKE ME AN APP?... IT'S LIKE OTHER APP BUT BETTER, I CAN'T GIVE YOU MORE DETAILS BECAUSE IT'S CONFIDENCIAL, SO YOU GOT TO DO IT WHIT OUT KNOWING WHAT THE FUCK YOU HAVE TO DO"... GO TO FUCK YOURSELF WITH A TRUCK FULL OF DONKEYS FUCKING IDIOT!!!... STOP TALKING BULLSHIT AND GET AND FUCKING LIFE YOU ASSHOLE!!!... sorry about my english for those who read

FUCK YOU MICROSOFT FOR THINKING THAT THE FUCKING SAD FACE IN THE BLUE SCREEN IS APPROPRIATE!!!!!!!!
THAT SHIT IS WORSE THAN CLIPPY
WHO CAME UP WITH THE IDEA TO MAKE THE ERROR CODE IN SO SMALL PRINT???
YOU OWE ME 5 DAYS OF MY LIFE AND COUNTING!
NOT ONLY HAVE I BEEN UNABLE TO DO MY JOB, I HAVE ALSO NOT BEEN ABLE TO VENT MY FRUSTRATION KILLING ALIENS, IF I HAVE TO SPENT ANOTHER DAY FIXING THIS STUPID COMPUTER I WILL SWIM ALL THEY WAY OVER TO AMERICA AND BITCH SLAP EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR DEVELOPERS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I FUCKING HATE WAITING FOR PEOPLE.

It feels like a full quarter of my life is wasted just goddamn WAITING.

Fuck off.

From now on I'm just leaving whomever behind.

I am so fucking pissed off that I am shivering right now and can't even type.

The incompetent bastards in my team don't work and nobody bats an eye.

I spend five minutes on internet for some excel formula to enhance my productivity for the given tasks and everyone loses their mind.

This has been going around for months now. Maybe a year.

I tried to switch projects but still awaiting any opening in other teams.

I am functioning normally as a human but deep down I am completely shattered and broken with nothing to look forward in life.

I have failed a countless times.

I have learned from every failure.

I have implemented the learnings and failed better.

But never once, have I succeeded.

What pisses me off is the fact that jerks and assholes get everything without having to struggle or put in bare minimum efforts for survival.

It's like the richs are getting richer and poors are getting poorer.

Life is unfair and everything you do will go down the drain.

There is nothing called good karma. You only have bad karma to fuck you up all the time be it job, life, relationship, finances, the girl you like or the job you dream about, the car you want or the good deed that you did the other day, the vacation you plan for or the ice cream you want to at the end of day.

The wait will drain you out and then you die a painful death with nothing but regrets of not having lived the life you desire.

You have fretted all your life until now for smallest of the smallest things. But do you even remember something that made you happy or you felt satisfied?

Not sure why people are afraid of death when real pain is given by life?

JUST FUCK EVERYTHING BECAUSE LIFE IS DISPAIR AMD JUSTICE WILL NEVER BE SERVED.

FUCK PROPRIETARY FILE FORMATS. I'm now commiting to devoting the rest of my life to reverse engineering these shitty things. I'm fed up 😤

I googled "fuck apple" and ended up here... so yeah fuck this piece of shit company with shitty overpriced cancer inducing products. Xcode is the worse garbage I've ever seen in my life. For a company that masturbates to their superior design well they can eat a fat dick cause its horrible. Everything this fucking company does makes me waste my time. Add a fucking notch to their displays, retarded app store process, makes you workaround to install latest OS on older machines, hide options in convoluted interface, everything, make you feel like your 12 again and living with your parents. fuck them. fuck apple fan boys. fuck tim cook. fuck kids that jack off to iphones fuck you if you own a macbook and drink at starbucks . this is the last fucking ios app I ever make. bye

When your school project team fails to deliver 3 times in a row because of their incompetency and they're the sole reason for your failing grades

I am a hobby programmer. I just got rejected by the biggest crush of my life. I guess I'm stuck with my stupid wothless fucking life writing code. How fucking exciting....

Well what the fuck. Life just won't stop with the dick punches this year.

To recap: My wife had me arrested on bs charges. While i was in jail, she packed her shit and left. She filed a restraining order, which i fought in court amd won. I have visitation with my daughter every other saturday and every Monday. I lost my apartment because she left, so I'm homeless. Living in my car.

Today, I was fired from my job of 6 years. Fuck me.

!Rant

Doctors called me back, I’ve got brain decompression surgery in a month... fuck my life. If it’s not one fucking thing it’s another.

1hr before going to prod, after working for 16 straight hours, fuck my life

Dad: What are you doing with your life?

Me: Enjoying it. Can you say the same?

My dad degrades me for my programming because he's from 'that generation.' Fuck him, Imma do what I enjoy, cause I'm damn well sure I don't want to end up like him.

The only people I consider enemies are people who aren't honest with me and are playing games. Be upfront with me. Did I do something you liked? Did I fuck up? Fuckin' tell me. Then I'll treat you with respect. If not, fuck off and get out of my life.

Whoever thinks that coding is easy.

Fuck you motherfucker stupid chicken head nugget sized brain faggots. You think all we do is smash keyboards in front of our screen and it poops code and creates beautiful applications? Fuck you in particular.

One of my friend says sitting on computer for whole day is the easiest thing. What the fuck motherfucker.
One fucking string can fuck your life forever. Innumerable hours will be wasted behind one simple fucked up logic. And u shithead say its easy.
Get into my shoes and let me bang your head on the keyboard and we will see how beautifully it poops code.

Stupid people.

So my ethernet randomly stopped working on Arch.

At first I thought it had to do with a conflict between it and my tethered phone, so I tried removing all my connections. Still wasn't working.

Next I tried to test the driver itself and make sure it loaded on boot. It loaded, but was disconnected.

Next I decided "fuck it, I know I was just using the internet on Windows, but I'll check the ethernet cable is still plugged in anyway". It was, and it was returning the right MAC address, but still no connection.

So I try debugging the driver further. Everything seemed fine, except it would time out trying to establish a dhcp connection.

Finally I figured, maybe Microsoft tried to troll me and lock out the ethernet waking on boot. So I restart my computer, load into windows and check my ethernet driver, it seems fine. I go to disable the shutdown of the card on OS shutdown. Turns out this driver no longer has that capability.

Wait a minute!? Windows is also having connection issues!?

I look to my left.

Fuck my life...

My router was off... I must of kicked the powerboard under my desk..........

Tried to modify a script again which pretty much installs a ready to use vpn server on a server.

Tried to modify it so that it takes arguments instead of manual input.

It is, fucking, yet again, quitting right after an apt install command.

Error exit code? Oh no, a perfectly fine fucking 0. Which means it ran successfully.

Successfully my fucking ass. You aren't even through half the motherfucking script!?

Fucking hell. Fuck my life sideways.

The problem with my life is acceptance from others. Validation (almost wrote vladiation).

For instance, I finished my course in Advanced Java Programming a few days ago. Supposed to be a year course or some shit, finished it in two months. They told me I don't need to go to the remainder classes and I could write the examination. Got the certifications, passed with flying colours.
Well done me? No, fuck you me. "It's not through Oracle, so it's completely useless. Har har you wasted your measly salary on a course and it means nothing". You know what? Fuck you and fuck validation. I will validate myself from now on.

Anywhom, what a start to a shitty rant. Let's go over some generic points so I can finally make my avatar.

IE can suck a duck ("oooh you made it and it runs fine in every fucking browser except fucking IE - slow clap).

Chrome RAM usage can suck a duck, two times. (just generic post, don't actually give a shit - I use Firefox).

People who can't use one fucking indentation standard ("oooh two spaces, oooh three spaces, oooooh a fucking tab button... " etc) can fuck off.

That fucker who came and converted my buildings in Age of Empires with the "wolololo" priest can fuck off too.

Been reading through devRant and you know what? You guys are pretty cool

I fucking hate python and myself even more. Python is easy they say, Python has nice syntax but fuck you . Fuck you seriously I cringe if I see non-c-like syntax. Every time I leave my comfort zone I get fucked over by damn semicolons. Fuck this imports i don't know your damn library. But god damn In far too advanced for hello world. There are two versions and the lib I want to use is incompatible? Well fuck me? That kind of shit never hit me on PHP. Damn me! Fuck you python. I want to know you but you fuck me harder than life. GEHÖRT? DU FICKST MICH HÄRTE ALS DAS LEBEN DU HURENSOHN!!!!

What is even your problem? Indentation? Well thank you for not having braces! I mean come on I try, I really do. I know you are different but every thing I want to learn about you is either for uber beginners or so advanced I don't even know what's going on. Do magical shit in a few lines? What the fuck is in those packages? A wizard full filling whishes like "plz make this work"?

But don't worry you cum snorting unicorn as much as I hate you I'm more mad about me for not being a descendant of fucking slytherin!

you know what... I'm pissed... I'm fucking mad... this has gotten beyond the point of annoying... and I need to get off my chest... I AM LEARNING HOW TO PROGRAM ANYTHING FROM PYTHON TO C++ TO PHP not "wasting my time playing stupid games" for over 3 fucking years... I tell my parents and they just won't listen... like they think that they're right but they're not... this is my passion and my future life and they shake it off like it's nothing! fuck fuck FUCK! FUCK!!! I really need a stress ball or else I'll probably end up throwing my mouse across the fucking room...

Ah, every time I am on VPN, on every single website I have to prove that I am not a robot.

Just because I am using a VPN service to protect my information, that does not mean I am about to fuck the website up or DDoS the shit out of you. I wish the CDN providers would understand that and make our life easier.

I am seriously tired of completing the Google verification. Select the vehicle, bike, sign post, dick, vagina, Mia Khalifa. FUCK OFF

I hate it when people don't want to work for themselves and when I share something for their knowledge

"Wow what pro", "Dude you're so smart" etc in a sarcastic manner.

Dude wtf, you don't want to improve yourself then fuck off. You're there because of yourself not because I fucked it up for you.

You reap what you sow and i don't need people discrediting my effort to get to where I am today. I get it, I'm not even what you would call "pro", So what shitface?! I wanna be there someday. If you don't then just die. I don't need people like you in my life 😬😬😬

Never ever have I been so happy in my life.

Deleted an account which has been deactivated (because I was not aware that there was a delete option) for four plus years.

Thank you @bittersweet for the help.

Fuck Facebook. Fuck Zuckerberg. Fuck them with a hot rod in their fucking ass.

Privacy is one of the reason, but I hate how this company demeaned the word morality and what all goes on between people.

Facebook has caused more psychological damage to this world than any other thing.

I just hope and wish Facebook dies out completely.

Let's all add fuel to fire and support the growth of the movement.

#DeleteFacebook #FuckZuckerberg #FuckFacebook

!dev && I'm fucking pissed

Bloody fucking mosquitos, FUCK YOU!!
If you couldn't evolve your shitty self over billions of years to be able to consume decent food instead of MY FUCKING BLOOD, then just let me fucking kill you already and eat my own fucking supper in peace!
MOTHERFUCKING PARASITIC ABOMINATIONS OF LIFE!!!

Look at the 'k' in 'keyboard'... Fuck this fucking shit. I'm wasting my life with this stupid things

Just discovered that we are loading 200k for a custom font on one of our platforms...

200k FOR A FUCKING FONT?!? FOR REAL??? ITS NOT EVEN FUCKING DIFFERENT ON SIGHT!

So I sarcastically asked why the fuck are we using it and my coworker said its because the designer designed (duh) the layout this way...

Look... Usually I'm a quiet person and I don't rant in real life but this time I could not restrain myself.

Me doing monday morning Support because all of our fucking support members were not available.

Me: Can you navigate to the Installation path of our Software.

Customer: how?

Me: with the Windows File explorer

Customer: i dont have That

me: Explaining how to navigate to the install location (thinking: fuck my life)

You know that you have fucked up another night when you are browsing devrant and your phone turns off the soft-color-night-mode because the sun has infact rise.

Fuck my life, another fucked up night and following day

I've lost my faith after I've found out how much crunch and just life eating overtimes and overwork is required to be something more than unnamed drone. Especially in game industry.

Fuck my life.

Depressed.
I have never been so depressed in my life. Today I felt so sick, tired and numb.

Fuck depression.

FUUUCK I HATE FUCKING WORDPRESS AND PHP!!!! FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK.

I didnt change anyfuckingthing and everything went to shit! FUCK! FUCK YOU FUCKING FUUUUUCK!

Who the fuck came up with the idea of using indentation instead of braces? I wasted 5 fucking hours of my life tracing a bug which eventually came down to incorrect indentation of a return statement which pushed it inside the loop!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FML

And the PR has already been merged into master! How will I face everyone on Monday!

Fuck my fucking life. Laptop of about 6 years is finally giving up on life and I don't have a big budget right now..

Anyone advice on a new pc? I want a desktop one this time. 16gb ram minimal.

😥

So we hired an intern and his first task was to change a few things in email layout for our client, which is an investment bank.

I told to one of my developers to make his local database dump and setup the project for an intern. When intern completed the task, my developer thought that title "Dow Jones index crashed" was pretty funny title for a test.

What he didn't thought through enough, is that he forgot to configure fake SMTP server and he had production database dump with real email addresses.

I had really awkward 20 minutes conversation with our client. Fuck my life.

After a 4 year CS college completed and 3 years of java experience I have found the biggest challenge of my life when my gf asked me to teach her programming. After explaining 10 times what a class and an object is , I started to understand how frustrating is for a teacher with a shitty pay to teach an know-it-all dumb fuck to write a hello world after 2 years of college.

FUCK YOU WORDPRESS

Omfg never been so fucking pissed in my life.

I just wasted 3 hours because this fucking bullshit rewrites the fucking URL based on the URL on a config fucking file?!!?

It fucking ignores: apache virtual host configs and nginx reverse proxy

omfg...

Just broke up with my girlfriend and it feels AWESOME! Like I’m free now! I finally can do what I like to!

Finally! To live without regrets and fears of not being able to entertain someone. It’s finally my thoughts, my music, MY life. My fucking life. Just me as is and it’s awesome. Finally, after three years of suffering.

FUCK YOU

Start to work, open laptop, open IDE, open editor, excited for coding, end up with youtube, fuck my life

Sooo... Cant drink coffee or energy drinks with my new medication.. FML

When you been debugging over 3 hours and wonder... "What the fuck is wrong with my life"

Why the fuck am I - who never had a girlfriend in his life - the person my friends come to to get relationship advice?

Well, I can tell them what no to do...

As you all know, I test a multi-million dollar product on Internet Explorer running on Windows 7.

Today, I have been assigned a performance testing task.

There are 20+ tabs open on Internet Explorer which takes eternity to load and if a tab is switched the entire page loads all over again.

You talk about having a hard day, eh?

I have been struggling since morning to complete one vanilla flow. SHIT JUST DOESN'T WORK.

FUCK MY FUCKING LIFE.

I'm such a fucking moron... I just wasted ONE FUCKING HOUR of my fucking miserable life trying to understand why updates won't download. One goddamn hour until I found D out that I wasn't connected to the fucking shit wifi! I hope I suffocate while sleeping today. Fuck my life.

I have shit loads of things in my To-do list to be completed on weekend.

But, I rather decided to keep scrolling devRant.

Just tested my GPU code vs my non-GPU code.

Its a simple game of life implementation. My test is on a 80 x 40 grid running for 100,000 cycles.

The normal code took 117 seconds.
The CUDA code took 2 seconds.

Holy fuck this is terrifying.

At first I thought fml means fuck my life but, it turns out, it means fuck machine learning.

Have you ever lost 1,5 TB in few seconds? Well... Here I am... Fuck my life. Really, fuck it!

I am 21 and I just found out that I have rheumatoid arthritis in my fingers

I think a little part, no ,a huge chunk inside of me just died.

Why the fuck does life keep piling shit...
what's the fucking point....

I installed Ubuntu on my new laptop 12 hours ago.
Customised the shit out if it, tuning everything exactly how I want it to be.
I'm in deep compassionate love with Linux already and I've passed the point of no return.
Fuck you, Windows. My whole life was a lie.

Fuck you, you motherfucking fuck. How DARE you have the capacity to sell fake fucking chips on Amazon and make me fucking waste hours of my god damn fucking nights trying to program your shitty, lazy-ass implementation of an EEPROM.

I followed the datasheet specs down to the fucking microsecond just to find that nothing would write to the chip, and then spent hours of my goddamn life trying to figure out what I was doing wrong, making myself feel like a fucking failure for not being able to write 1s and 0s to a few pins. Fuck you, fuck you with a giant horse cock with needles on the tip

Me at midnight: let's release a demo build

Me at 1 am: why are there so many bugs? Why won't it compile.

Me at 2 am: omg finally compiled. Runs it, buttons don't work. Closes it, reopens it. Buttons work.

Me at 3 am: let's write apologetic posts for the bugs, but post the version anyway

Me at 4 am: why do I advertise in so many places

Me at 5 am: let's update the patreon reward tiers

Me at 5:30 am: nah fuck this, going to bed.

Mom at 9 am: wake the hell up we need you to dig out a hill and build a stone wall around one side of the house.

Me: omg wtf why.

Me at 2:30 pm: why the hell are we doing this, I have so many bugs to patch and everyone knows they are there because I told them all!

Teacher: The next 3 months we're going to learn web dev
Me thinking: fuck yeah, finally, I love web dev.
Teacher 1 week later: shows us how to build with wix-like builder...

God fucking dammit.

I got assigned to a WordPress project...

I AM NOT A WORDPRESS DEVELOPER!!!

Why do I have to deal with this giant pile of stinking shit?
I'm a php developer, I make applications, I don't write fucking wordpress plugins...
WHY DOES THIS EXIST, WHY DID WORDPRESS BECOME SUCCESSFUL WHY CAN'T I JUST DEV IN PIECE.

Dear wordpress developers,

Please suffocate on a big fat old cock.

Regards.

Dear life,

STOP FUCKING TESTING MY PATIENCE.

I fucking lack it and trying my best to cope up with the shit your throw at me every single god damn day.

Nothing will go right but everything will surely go wrong.

FUCK MURPHY'S LAW.

Do zillion good deeds and nothing good ever happens to you.

Do one bad act and hell breaks down.

There's nothing as Karma. It's pure steaming bullshit made by men to control his own species by fear and hate.

I am just sick of things constantly going wrong and nothing ever good happening around. I am just tired of waiting. I cannot put up with this anymore.

I don't even have enough resources and energy to continue playing this infinity game. Worse is, I cannot even drop out. I am just draining out.

FUCK YOU LIFE, JUST FUCK YOU.

Brought in a meeting a really good idea. One guy out of 9 sayd, that it's stupid and we could not use it.

1 week later the same guy proposes the same idea to the boss and team. Took all the merit and when I confronted him, he denied, that it was first my idea.

Fuck my life...

>Middle of night
>css not getting applied conditionally
>a simple ng-class
>me raging
>fuck angular's digest loop
>fuck dom and not giving parse errors
>fuck my life
>Coworker is also confused
>after 1hr, what it could be
>A typo, ifStudent->isStudent
>😑

I feel strange, because I don't have nothing to rant about... I work with awesome people, and my life is not so terrible... What the fuck I'm doing on devRant?

Uhm... maybe I'm the boss who everyone is ranting about...

Shit that annoys me: People use the store (insert google play/apple/other) rating with one star to ask questions instead of fucking filling the stupid contact form or send an email to tech support.

Not dev but worth ranting.

It’s important to know that I am a wheelchair driver.

It was Saturday evening and I was waiting for my friends.
All of the sudden a random woman approached me. Putted her hand on my shoulder and says:

In your next life you will be Running around!
Jesus holds his promises!

I was to confused to say anything... do you guys have a good idea on how to react?
I have to deal with similar stuff quiet often!

ITS STARTING TO PISS ME OFF!

WHAT THE FUCK GIVES EVERYONE THE RIGHT TO TELL ME STUFF LIKE THAT WITHOUT KNOWING JACKSHIT ABOUT MY LIFE?

I don’t think I need nor deserve their pity!

So today I realized that Im not happy.

When I was a kid I wanted to do many things because I had time and energy but I had no money. Now that Im an adult and I have the money, I have no energy and no will power to try and have personal life in these few hours left of my day. I spend 9 hours at work everyday and totally 1hr 30min is wasted on commuting.

I spent 4 years in uni between lectures and working on my side projects, and I really believed that after uni I will get a job and my life work balance will improve.

After uni I spent 2 years working abroad in 3 jobs at 3 countries. I work as android dev and now Im making a really decent salary.

However Im not happy at all. I realized that life is not about the money. Im changing countries like socks and dont even feel the need to socialize or enjoy my life anymore. Im european and these other eu countries are not that different at all. It came to a point where relationships are meaningless to me. I became an office drone who cares only about work and outside of work I care only about my projects and more work.

At this point im only 25 years old with around 2 years of experience and money is really good, but fuck it Im so tired of being an emigrant and having no stability in life. Im so drained. I spent past 6 years (4 in uni combined with side projects and 2 years working in 3 jobs in different countriee) working my ass off and lying to myself that after the next big thing Im gonna take a break and enjoy life. But its never enough. I dont want to hit 30s or 40s and realize that I wasted my life on pursuing money and didnt get to enjoy life..

Im really considering taking a 6-12 months vacation. I need to find myself. Probably going back to my own country. Just learn how to enjoy life, attend workshops, get to know new city area, meet new people, do some interesting hobbies. Maybe do a little freelance (max 10hrs a week).

Im tired of feeling like I need to make as much money as I can and learn as much about my work as I can. Its not rewarding because its never enough.

Whats the point in that money if I cant enjoy it?

When you try to clear term in messenger.

Fuck my life. I shouldn't be allowed to programming before midday.

As a total noobass with Linux I tried installing Arch. Why the fuck did I do that.

I fucked up the drive partitions, deleted the Windows boot loader and now neither Windows nor Arch fucking loads.

Can this get any worse

I am quitting my job in the next couple of weeks. I don't even have a job lined up. I can't deal with doing Design work as a developer when you have a whole ass design team. Like what the fuck. Then I nearly do development. Oh and your gonna bitch at me when I mess up in design, then threaten to fire me? Well you can shove that shit all up your entire ass. Fuck this Job. I am doing my own thing. I don't care if I become homeless cause Fuck I'll be more happier I did that then be at this concentration camp. I am gonna live my life and own. Cause fuck everything corporate Jobs is fucking life sucking. Please Fire me. I GIVE NO FUCKS ANYMORE. Sick of being depressed and stressed. I want to be a real developer!!!! argghhhhhhhhhhhh

Seriously fuck this place!

For this $200 per month job, i have to work ovetime and no travel allowance and boss begged me to work this sunday too..

Fuck my life

After refusing to work over 40 hours a week and refusing to work last Sunday, today I was fired. It's been the 2nd time in my life and it's been the same deal: totally unrealistic timelines and totally unrealistic work expectations.

No big loss. Fuck that place.

Fun fucking story time so buckle your dick holsters.

My Windows partition died the other day. Like totally fucking died. Not recoverable at all. So I decided "Oh it's okay, I'll just boot up a windows USB and reinstall it."

I remembered I had ordered an m.2 ssd so I waited for that to arrive for the sick speed boost. All went well, it arrived and I realised my peasant MoBo doesn't support NVME at all. "No problem, pcie adapter bruh".

Inserted and started again. "Ruh roh raggy!" Fucking BIOS cant find the NVME. "Never mind I have a spare SSD. I'll use that and move shit around later." STILL NO FUCKING DICE. THE FUCKING BOOT USB WORKS BUT WHEN THE INSTALLER TRIES TO RESTART WINDOWS TO FINISH THE INSTALL IT FUCKING LOADS THE USB AGAIN AND WITHOUT THE USB IT FAILS.

The fuck do I do here? I've been sat all fucking day trying to sort this shit to no avail so now I have a very fucking expensive door stop while I try to solve the ever fucking great riddle of "I need the usb but the usb fucks the install that needs to usb to finish".

Such fucking bullshit.

This one was probably last week of my highschool education so everyone including myself were drunk as fuck like 90% of the time.

Came home drunk one evening and woke up in the morning with a working keylogger waiting to be deployed on school computers. Apparently I've even implemented FTP upload, some basic firewall bypasses and autostart feature. Everything was actually quite good, excluding my stupidness to upload captured data on server through FTP, but there was anyways no-one smart enough in that school to decompile a Windows executable binary.

What's more interesting is until that moment I've never written anything remotely so complicated - I was doing examples from the book and didn't think I have enough knowledge to make program that has any real life application.

After that day it started coming to me that one day I could actually earn for life with programming.

Aye so i got a new job, and its android. I thought "yeah sure, ive been a java dev my whole life, it will be easy".

And it is easy.

But its like a fleshed out java, with a trillion built in classes and xml (seroiusly, fuck xml), and also the studio eats away my ram.

I just bought an amazing Bluetooth headphone but I'm really FUCKING PISSED because when its charging the led flashes green and when it is charged it flashes some fucking other tone of green and as someone who has daltonism it makes me really fucking frustrated because I can't say tell the difference even if my life depended on it... PLEASE DONT BE THE STUPID CUNT THAT DESIGNS SHIT LIKE THAT! JUST MAKE IT NON COLOR DEPENDANT FOR FUCK SAKE!

Thanks.

I have a love and hate relationship with programming. You'll see me as the happiest and most motivated person ever. The next minute, you'll see me as an extremely depressed suicidal person. Then when a code works, I jump like hell.

I just decided to do something productive today. Well... Fuck my life

Me : *trying to download latest version of android studio*
Google: "Your client does not have permission to get URL /studio/index.html from this server. That’s all we know."
Me: FUCK YOU GOOGLE
Me: *googles: دانلود اندروید استودیو* (which means download android studio)
*and downloads it from a random website*

It happens every goddamn time, why the fuck i can't download this shit !? Because these countries are fighting each other all the time! What did i do wrong in my life? I just want to download your fucking app to write another shitty app to continue my fucking life. I don't know shit about this wars happening, I'm just a dev like others all over the world.
Downloading an app, is that too much to ask? Well fuck you then.

Fuck life, fuck this society and especially fuck my brain - waking me up at 6 AM and immediately making me burst into tears because bipolar... I mean come on! I can't even sleep anymore?! I know it's hard falling asleep but waking me up just to cry? ...why...

Tomorrow is Monday and I don't feel like going to work. I have an ongoing project that is boring. Its 1AM and and am still awake. Have to wakeup at 5AM. God fuck my life.

Moment when you discard all git changes instead of one..... Fuck my life 😞

No dev rant but... Yeah!! 6 MRIs and 2 CT Scans. Fuck my life.

Fuck! I am never gonna get hired again. I fucking suck at live coding. My mind just fucking gets blocked. On simple shit like arrays. I still suck at regular expressions though. Fucking failed Amazon and now wayfare.!!!! Fuck my fucking god dam life.

Annoying thing happened at work as usual -> can't get the mood to code -> procrastinate -> finally get my shit together -> get some work done -> shit it's 07.00 PM I should be going home already -> still coding because I started late -> shit it's 09.00 PM -> get the fuck home -> I need time to be alone and relieve stress by surfing the web -> shit it's 02.00 AM -> try to get some sleep -> Why did she left me? How's dad doing? God I think I that function that I coded today is awful, gotta fix it tomorrow. Am I going to afford a house EVER? Fuck what I'm doing with my life. -> Shit it's 05.00 AM, I MUST SLEEP. -> (kinda sleep) -> Fuck it's 10.00 shit shit shit shit -> arrive at work -> I'm not ready to open the code -> procrastinate -> ...

I want to build an Android app...
buuuut
- I hate NPM (NodeJS is neat, but NPM is annoying af)
- I hate Java
- I hate Dart
- I hate Windows

Fuck my life...

34 days without any sugar (except for fruits). Am i a hero already, or should i go for 2-3 months?

Me when I fuck up my sleep schedule badly by turning my life into a coding sprint and then trying to go normal

Alright, I have no idea who to blame!
Me and my Linux group at college hosted a Firefox Quantum Sprint with about 30people. And we promised them Firefox swag coz Mozilla promised us! Its been more than two fuckin weeks since we were supposed to recieve them... no swag!
Well, guess what? The local post office says "Insufficient Reciever Address". I specifically remember giving u morons More than sufficient sender address! My name, college name, college address, my number... thats enough to get me assasinated if u want and u cant send a package of stickers?!!!
Well shit.. after five more emails I havent even gotten a reply from Mozilla.. or maybe its the weekends... fuck! Why am i defending these assholes?!!
Send me ur swag Mozilla! Or I ll... I ll...
Wait.. i cant do shit!
Fuck my life! 😣😣😣

Called in on a Saturday... I’d rather have my underwear ride up for the rest of my life than having to deal with your bitch ass not knowing how to run a FUCKING computer.

No, I promise it’s working fine you dense fuck. You just don’t know how to fucking run it. Perhaps instead of calling me in, why not ask your other coworkers how to preform the task that you’re failing to learn.

And the shit thing is, I’ve explained this so many fucking times. It’s not my fault you won’t retain the mother fucking information you cheeky bastard.

STOP FUCKING CALLING ME! - who the fuck even gave you my personal number you fuck!

Does anyone else type slow for a dev and it makes them fell SOO guilty inside, you've tried to learn touch typing but stopped after a few days and get very depressed about how it may effect your future job. You attempt to count the relentless hours you've sat at your computer but still, you type like a snail. Suicide is becoming an option and you think to yourself is it the keyboard? You purchase a brand new keyboard but your still sluggish. Well, step into my shoes. 😢

Protip: This can happen even if the socket is locked, apparently.

One of those days...

WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY YOU FUCKING SPYING SNEAKY LITTLE CUNTS?!?

This is the Calendar app that comes with my phone. Can't disable, uninstall, or change these slightly suspicious permissions. FUCK MY LIFE

It's the days like these when I start to look back in my life and wonder: How the fuck am I outside without my computer

But truly, a beautiful weather

You don't know pain until you try writing a bash script using VIM ... on a ec2 instance ... WITH A SHIT ASS INTERNET CONNECTION

**slowly peels off face**

Fuck my life! For my studies at University it is required that I learn how to code... Over the past month I've been learning java, and yesterday a friend of mine has introduced me to Go. Now all I want to do is learn Go, meanwhile our Prof pushes us to learn switch-case and goto...

when you see devs with age <= 16 who look experienced than you and you say to yourself

"Where the fuck have I spent my early life"

So... after a vision test on a whim, it turned out I needed glasses.

Turns out sitting in front of a screen all day did actually mess my eyes up 😂

Luckily I only need them for using the computer for extended periods of time, so managed to run them through my company as an expense.

I just spent 2 days debugging why this shitty arduino project doesnt work. Then i noticed disconnected cable.
Fuck my life.

My f*cking laptop died. Well, the HDD did. And now I'll be without a computer until I have replaced this f*cking piece of hardware. I kinda wanna die.

Fucking powershell.
Just make a fucking api call, and shove my json into a damn csv.
How fucking hard do you have to be 🤯

RANT!
AAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!

BLOODY FUCK TURD BORN FROM THE BACTERIA OF YOUR MOTHER'S POOP, BRAINLESS WHORE
. JUST ONE SECOND OF YOUR NON EXISTENCE WILL CHANGE THE WORLD FOR ME.

Well this is what I would say to my brain deficient friends who think I don't have a life and sit at the computer all day playing GAMES and that I should get away from my computer and learn to PLAY with them in real life

BITCHES DON'T EVEN UNDERSTAND HOW IT IS TO WORK YOURSELF A LIVING, ALL THEY KNOW IS THROW MONEY AND GET THEIR DICKS SUCKED OFF. FUUUUUCCK!! AND DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON THE GAMES PART. ALL THESE PUNY FUCKS CAN DO IS TO POST POUT FACES FILLED WITH DOG FAECES AND CRY ABOUT THEIR LOST LIKES.

For the first time I tried to use WordPress. I spent almost 30mins. Now I decided I should not use that again in my life. Fuck WordPress.

Who the FUCK calls to get more information about a potential employee at fucking 8:20 AM? GO RECRUIT A LIFE AND DON'T BREAK MY SLEEP YOU FUCKING VULTURE

RANT.RANT.RANT.

So I have a fucking groupmate for our degree project and he's been constantly bugging on my neck asking me to do things. The problem with him is that he constantly reminds me of the things that I should be doing and he seems like he wants the thing to be done all himself. Basically, he doesn't trust me that I could deliver whatever he asks me to do. He keeps on micromanaging me from time to time and he seems like he wants to control my life altogether! Fuck this.

Oh and another, whenever he asks for opinion, whatever you say doesn't even fucking matter. He dismisses it immediately anyway and goes with whatever he thinks.

Seriously, fuck this!!! I can't keep calm and I need to constantly check on my posture! (Forgot the right term...) Uhhhh halp

Having to deal with legacy code is fucking terrible. Worse yet when there is basically ZERO documentation and what little documentation there is, is wrong! Not just wrong, contradictory.

I have spent far too long trying to decipher what I need to make everything fucking work. Having to figure out if they used Gunicorn or UWSGI. Whether they used MySQL 5.6 or 5.7. Whether they wanted me bent over or crying on my knees.

Been using Linux for years now and only now just discovered appimage's... Fuck me where have you been all my life?!

It's like snap and flatpak but not slow and shit!

Recently not a single fucking thing is going my way...... Every goddamn new thing i try, screws me over in some way... And when I finally think somethings working, I get fucked more than a highway hooker.

So, it's 22:40 here and I'm sat on a bench staring out at a pond because my stress and anxiety is at an all time high after a couple of weeks of hellish arguments with work and my personal life so as were all developers here to some degree let me convey my fucking thoughts here.
If you care more about maintaining your fucking superiority complex over writing good clean efficient code then get the fuck out of the industry.
I don't give two fucks whether you use Linux or Windows. I couldn't give two fucks about whether you use sublime, Emacs or VIM. I couldn't give two fucks about the framework you spend more time defending than coding in, because absolutely none of it matters if you code like a retard on bath salts you pretentious cunts.
Stop feeding you fucking ego. Absolute cluster fuck of an industry.

Fuck my dev life... #macbookpro #screencracked

I really think there should be a subject in every CS course to teach us how to handle/work-under Grade-A assholes and dumbfucks. Not that it would help, but atleast warn us on what we are getting into.

In my opinion, development is not *that* hard or frustrating but is made so by these shitty people. But again, what do I know.

I was scolded by my boss for using for-loop to iterate through an array recently. Apparently for-loop is not used in real world projects and this iteration should be done "in-memory". My colleagues and I are still trying to understand and process that.

I was asked to add fitbit integration to a project within 2 hours just because I had "already done it a week ago" in *another* project. Luckily, it was then given to a "senior" developer who took 4 days for it and essentially copy-pasted my work without much changes, ofcourse it stopped working every now and then.

I am given unreal deadlines on my tasks, on technologies I haven't worked on before, and then expected to churn out production ready code with no bugs in them.

My boss literally just sends me the links of 1st three google results on the problems I encounter and report, after humiliating me ofcourse. Yes, I did google it and yes I went through all I could find from Google forums to GitHub issues. When the library/plugin author himself says that this feature is not yet available, don't expect me to develop it in 2 hours you dumbfuck.

And for the love of God, please stop changing the data model every single day and justify it with agile development. Think before making any changes to it. Ever heard of Join queries? Foreign keys? Or any other basic database concepts.
We reached a point where each branch in the repo had different data model. Not kidding. And we were a team of just 4 developers. Atleast inform us when you change models after discussing it with your shit for knowledge "senior" developer, so we don't have to redo it all over again. The channels on slack are not for sharing random articles only.

I am just waiting to complete my year here.

I should have known what I got myself into the day he asked me to remove the comments I had added to explain what my code does. Why you ask? Because "we don't write comments".

Just got my first internship using Angular 1 today. Oh yeah, I’ve never in my life touched Angular. Fuck (:

!dev

I just fucking hate people that have 10 years without talking to me and write me to ask for a favor.
Starting like: hey man how are you doing? Like you give a fuck about the shithole I'm at, just tell me what a fuck do you want and let me go back to my life.

Fuck-a-doodle-do Fuck Fuck Fuck what a fucking dipshit. Scared the god damn shit out of me.

So I am deep in code, listening to my music pounding out some code and Drupal configurations and I feel a shadowy draft over my right side like someone is watching me.

I work with a guy that will not for the fucking life of me use Slack to send me a message when I have my headphones on or at all for that matter.

He gets up and walks to my cubicle and just stares with a goofy fucking grin on his face. You know the one. LIke a retarded fucking dog eating shit out of a wire brush. Yeah that's the grin. Silently derping with his fucking derp ass Derp McDerpington face waiting on you to turn around an notice him there instead of knocking on the cubicle wall or waving to get your attention.

The FUCK dude? CreepyPasta

Today is fucking great. My £100 mouse broke cause I put it down on the desk to hard.
Laravel nova was working perfectly last night now it's fucked. In-between then and now I've only slept.
My Dev env has decided to stick a 12 inch dildo up it's ass and die.

I'm almost tempted to do the same at this point.

On top of that, I'm stressed out as fuck from my job. Life is fucking great.

Fucking hell. I'm so tired I can die this instant and be happy about it. Uni-life sucks at the end of semester.

Plus, my ML chatbot does the baby-talk for fuck-all. I thought it was supposed to be smarter. O.o

Actually finishing a project.

I am a person who gets a lot of ideas for projects I want to work on, then I start writing the code for them, then I reach a wall, stop and restart the cycle all over again.

Fuck my life.

>laptop can't handle 3 terminals because cpu is single-core 1.2GHz
>fuck it
stress -c 128 -i 128 -m 16
>second terminal
top
>load average: 272.15, 247.60, 149.80
>CPU is cool after 30 minutes
>how
>picks up laptop from right side
>burned myself
>cpu is on the left under power button, right side has nothing that would get hot???
>takes apart laptop
>second large CPU-like die
wtf.386
>looks up laptop
>floating point/algebraic coprocessor
WHAT

and that was the story all about how my life got flipped turned upside down

what fucking system has a coprocessor after 2002? (My laptop is a 2008 HP something or other)

First time doing web development for front end AND back end and I just want to say...

FUCK YOU YOU SHITTY ASS BOLLOCK DRIPPINGLY RETARDING CACHE, WHO YOU LOAD THINGS I NO WANT YOU TO LOAD...WHY THO?...

Well that was 2 hours of my life wasted....

How do you celebrate GDPR? By having a breach

Fuck my life

Going to a tech entrepreneurship meetup only to strike a conversation with a guy who looks for a CTO and mind rapes you for the entire mingling time. FMDL <-- this is me coining a “Fuck my dev life“ expression. Remember this day ;)

FUCK YOU LIFE!
YOU LEFT ME 3 HOURS WALKING IN THE COLD TO GET TO MY HOME FROM MY FUCKING INTERNSHIP!
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS ORGANIZE EVERYTHING SO THAT I.E. TODAY THE BUS DOES NOT ARRIVE AT THE BUS STATION??!?!??!?!?!!
I ALWAYS DON'T HAVE LUCK. WHATEVER I DO... I (ALMOST) ALWAYS FAIL AT IT (not talking about skill-related stuff! fuck you!)

Oh my motherfucking God...
How the fuck can a dumb IDE be so fucking slow? I entered the office at 8:15. And I am still unable to checkout a motherfucking previous version of an android app in git and get Android studio to build it, because the fucking gradle is so damn slow it freezes the GUI. WHAT. THE. FUCK. Android studio get you shit together and maybe, just maybe don't be such a dick!!!

You need 5 min to open that project and another 10 to build it ONLY FOR ME TO REALIZE THAT I HAVE TO REPEAT THAT WHOLE PROCEDURE BECAUSE I NEED A DIFFERENT APP VERSION FROM THE GIT REPO FUCK YOU YOU SHITFACED STUPID COCKSUCKING CUNT, SHIT FUCK ARRRRGH!!!

Sincerely,
Me.

Edit: now it's 9:35 btw

Got married. Best day of my life. Woke up the next morning to my wife on one side and a fuck load of messages from my boss asking me to fix shit. Quit shortly thereafter.

mom : i don't understand why my son became a nocturnal being..

father : son .. what the hell do you do entire night alone in your room with your lappy .. go get a gf or get married .. go get a life

relatives : beta (son in indian lang) my tv is not working can you fix it.. beta my internet is not working on my mobile (goddamnit turn on the mobile data for fuck sake )

Me using Windows 10:
- Bluetooth device doesn't remove when clicking the remove button
- I try to remove it elsewhere by going to the Device Manager
- *Device Manager does not respond*
- *Nothing responds anymore*
- I try to restart my computer, restarting takes an hour
- Computer finally starts up
- Bluetooth device now has a different name
- Removing the device works
A task that should only take 3 seconds, took about 65 minutes for this OS. Fuck my life, and most of all, fuck Windows

Linux on the 3DS is going well. Others have no issue at all, but I've gotta fix issues with the toolchain executables being named wrong, the provided, precompiled toolchain everyone else uses being the wrong one and being incompatible...

Fuck my life.

That moment when you make a suggestion. But client ignores you, and you end up building what they want.

Then an asshole comes along and presents the thing that you suggested, and has the balls to say they made it. When you can clearly see that it's the prototype you made!

At least it's Friday...

Fuck you windows 10. Fuck you private keys. Fuck you tortoise git. Fuck you git bash. Fuck you cygwin. Want 3x hours of my life back. Had an auth problem... Had to reinstall all the above on windows to connect to my private repo. Took me 5 minutes to connect after reinstalling all the tools. Grrrrrrr. And I'll never know why it wouldn't connect apart from fatal protocol error: bad line length character..I tried ever stack overflow answer... I nearly bricked my gitlab CE...and it was windows being a motherslut

Fucking kill me. I've just agreed to make a shitty fucking app that would be better as a Webpage, using shitty fucking technologies I don't understand, to do a thing that would be better handled by a third party.
You know why? The guy who asked me to do it is a good friend, and I'm the "best (only) code monkey" he knows. FUCK MY LIFE.

At least I'm getting payed

So my time saver automation can not be used because automation is not reliable.

Yeah sure make me extract data manually from 800 urls by hand and see if there is no human error.

Fuck my life.

! related

So there is this girl in my office from different team. We only talked over emails couple of times. I never got courage to go and talk to her in person. Sometimes I found her looking at me (** i guess**), sometimes she catches me looking at her. Smiles gets exchanged and that's it.

Didn't see her for 2-3 days. Checked in portal, turns out she left company. I'm feeling super bad right now. I can't focus on anything since this afternoon. I know this is not the place to share it, but I don't have anywhere else to share this...

Faaaakkkkkkkkk
Faaaccccckkkkkkkkkkkkkk

I could've tried...

My shyness kills me more than anything else in this world.😞

One of my interviews....
Interviewer: Do you know the welknown hack that increases the speed of embedded tomcat two times than default??
Me: what?? it even exists???
interviewer: yes... it exists... I know it... normally I share the answers with the interviewees... are you interested to hear the hack???
Me: Hell yeah...
Interviewer: ohh no... I will not share with you...
me: whyyy???
interviewer: I don't like your current boss...
Me: Fuck my life(inaudible)... facepalm..

Dude I want to ask you , It's possible for me to call myself as a software engineer if I always got a cancer when I try to create HTML template ? I'm suck as fuck on front-end, I can't even create a single HTML template even if you give me help with css framework. I don't know what to do with HTML and CSS, they're totally fucked up my life.

When they tell you they put all the js code in a `core.js` file

Sometimes when I'm telling my boss how to do something on his computer or I am watching him explaining something to me and he seems like a fucking lost infant that never used a fucking computer in his life I just wanna say loud and firmly:

"What the fuck man? Can't you fucking just click this shit already? Your fucking mouse pointer is on it already, click this motherfucker for once!"

When you work your ass out for days and night together for a feature. Rip your brains apart for that slimy thing to work.

And the client says it was not needed.
FUUUUCKKK

Fuck my life!!! Fuck it right hard!!! My fucking compiler (the one I code) fucking broke down, and i have to put it to competition it two weeks... Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck: obviously Iost backup and gitHub doesnt seem like wanting to give me that version back... Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck duck!!!!

Rust is beautiful. Rust is also extremely difficult to understand. What the fuck are lifetimes?! I’ve never seen this shit before in my life.

I learned computer science so i can create a small game some day. I spend my entire time on web development coz thats what makes money in my lame ass country. I come home too tired to go into game development which is an entire world to explore by itself. Cant apply to other countries coz game development companies wont recruit a web developer (i tried). Fuck my life

It's the best thing ever where watching one tutorial doesn't work. So you go to another. Then you see a suggested video that's unrelated to your current task, but it's a short video. So you quickly watch it.

Boom. Next thing you know, it's fucking 45 minutes later and you just watched some random ass dude's entire fucking life story in his vlogs.

Fuck my life an Adderall would be fantastic right now.

> Am writing code
> Life is good
> Add debugger keyword
> Script pauses
> Type in var name... Undefined.
> ...What?
> Check out local scope. It's there. What the fuck?
> Add console.log(myVariable)
> Refresh
> Logs variable no problem. Cool.
> Type in my var name
> Undefined

FFFUUUUUUU-

WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK. What is this dude talking about?! What am I doing with my life?!?!
Test what? What do I have to do? I didn't study this. I don't know what this API thing is. My life sucks. My job sucks. I suck. I'm stupid, because apparently knowing who or what this API is is essential for being a normal part of society.
I don't even.. oh someone pls kill me.
(No I don't want a detailed explanation what I have to do - I know this is not google and i wont understand it anyways and my husband will torture me with it in the afternoon. Just some sympathy for a finance person who has to deal with this would be nice)

That moment when you just quit your successful paying job just to have more time to study and try to pass the fucking piece of trash math exam.

Fuck my asshole, fuck my life and fuck that motherfucking college degree. If I don't pass, I will eventually kill my self or quit college.

Jeez, I wonder what was in my head when I enrolled in college, oh wait.. Parents, society brainwashed me to think I need top tier education to be a successful computer programmer engineer.

Fuck you society, fuck my brain, fuck everything.

I don't like others to know that i'm a programmer. Do you agree or why shall they know? It just changes their opinion on you.

300 fucking people.

and only 120 are allowed to study SOFTWARE ENGINEERING while everyone else can go fuck themselves in a COMPUTER SCIENCE COLLEGE

why is this restricted so much

why such a small amount of people are allowed to study SOFTWARE ENGINEERING

are you telling me i sacrificed my time and wasted 2 years of my life on college because i wanted to study SOFTWARE ENGINEERING, just so i can go fuck myself after 2 years?

someone explain this to me

this is unacceptable

Assignment release: this is a basic assignment that is supposed to help you understand the basics of memory allocation. You are free to use any design you want, however you can implement more advanced features that would lean towards specific designs. What will be punished is that you don't have a dynamic memory allocator. We will run the tests for these offline after the deadline

2 days before the deadline: we released the tests for checking whether you're allocating memory dynamically, but these tests also check for this specific design. So fuck you for choosing any other design than this one. Have fun on sleepless nights.

Fuck me, I guess, for worthlessly working on a different design than they wished for, but didn't specifically ask for from the beginning. I just wasted 2 weeks of my life and feel unmotivated af to do anything anymore regarding this. Fuck this shit. Fuck them. Fuck this course.

I fcking hate when my friends come to me for restoring his stupid blocked accounts like Instagram, Facebook, Google etc... OMG I'm a fcking computer technician not a hacker

Create my own company and finally release my app. Quit my current job and eventually start doing whatever the fuck I WANT rather than whatever the fuck I HAVE to.

I have only one life. Is it that much to ask to have it for myself, not sold to someone else?

At my workplace, we are working on the codebase from 1999. It's built on Oracle Forms and Reports. Fuck my life 😔

So we work on a Vmware network. And besides the terrible network lag. The specs of that VM is one core (Possibly one thread of a xeon core) and 3 GB RAM.

What do we do on it?
Develop heavy ass java GUI applications on eclipse. It lags in every fucking task. Can't even use latest versions of browsers because the VM is a fucking snail ass piece of shit!

So, in the team meeting I proposed to my manager, Hey our productivity is down because of this POS VM. Please raise the specs!.

He said mere words won't help. He needs proof.

Oh, you need proof ? Sure. I coded up a script that all of my team ran for a week. That generates a CSV with CPU usage, mem left, time - every 10 min. I use this data to show some motherfucking Graphs because apparently all they understand is graphs and shit.

So there you go. Have your proof! Now give me the specs I need to fucking work!

Fuck you sysadmin, what makes you think that running a complete antivirus scan everyday at fucking 11am is a good idea?
What the fuck can I do with the fucking 5% CPU available? Should I play fucking Pong in an emulator? Write the story of my life with notepad?

Go hang yourself on an Ethernet câble in your fucking server room, you fucktard cunt.

Spent ten plus years professionally coding, used c, go , python, openwhisk ,docker, kubernetes and God know what else. Now I have to convince those team members who coded so far in their free time that write fucking clean code, avoid dependency on distributed and hard coded configuration, how to build a product
Fuck my life

I am currently learning angular.js and in index.html I call two different controller files. I have spent the last 5 hours of my life looking for the error when the issue was that when I opened the script tag I didn't notice that type="controller.js" instead of src="controller.js" because of auto finish please kill me now for this terrible mistake that has almost annoyed the fuck out of me and forced me to walk away from my computer on multiple occasions to try and figure out the issue

When googles stupid geocoder api breaks for No reason after IT has worked for months with no problems. Adding a try/catch apprently fixed it and I still have No idea why it fixed or why it broke in the forst place. Fuck my life, this is one og the days i would wish i could jump in a vulcano.

I dedicated one day of my life to install Hackintosh in dual boot… with no success. FUCK.

Just another day with Windows...

P.S. I have Linux dual booted already.
Time to go 100% Linux, I guess :-)

Wasted 2 hours of my life trying to make an actionbar display white text on a dark background after migrating the legacy code from ActionBarSherlock to the supportactionbar.

And guess what? That fucking actionbar still displays black text.
What. The. Fuck.

Giving up on this for today...

92% download..
internet goes down
restart it!!
fuck my life

Hi all,

This might be a long post so bear with me. I work for a company and there was a project for a huge client. I'm junior in skill (been programming for about two years) but my job title doesn't reflect that. Anyways, I got the design about a month ago but I was on deadline for two other projects so I couldn't pick it up until last week Wed. Ironically, that's when the final design was delivered & told me it was due next week Wednesday. I built it as fast as I could. Finished mobile but for some reason, this last part for desktop just wasn't working out and it just so happens to be the most crucial part of the piece. (I was also sick the entire time and didn't sleep for the last two days nor did I eat). I was supposed to demo it yesterday but I still needed to make a few updates and the project coordinator took me off the project & gave it to a dev with more experience. This has never happened to me before. I'd go as far as to say this is my first big fuck up. I've always delivered on deadline and I'm taking this pretty hard. Has anyone been in similar situations? What do I do? Any advice?

FUCK MY MOTHERFUCKING LIFE! FOR GOOD THIS TIME!

I worked about 6 hours straight today to get SSL up and running, so you can include your own certs in my framework. This worked without any problem in Netty. Even forcing SSL was without any problem.

And then I tried to fucking show an image and this motherfucker won't load. I tried to copy code examples from fucking any source I could. As I gave up I tried to comment out a Netty decoder.... AND IT FUCKING WORKED!

FUCK YOU NETTY DOCUMENTATION!!!

FUCK NETTY, LONG LIVE NETTY!

OH IT'S SO FUCKING COOL!! If you do not yet have changeStreams from MongoDB in your life, and you use mongo, YOU HAVE TO EXPERIMENT WITH THEM!

They are so fucking fast, they are so incredible, and OH MY GOD JESUS MURPHY FUCK NUGGETS MARY. RealData enabled in MongoDB! I am giddy like I ain't been in a LONG ASS MUTHAFUCKIN TIME

Have to present a school project I've been working in for three weeks with my team.

My part of the presentation is done, my part of the project is done.
The fucking sysadmin doesn't have his fucking part ready...

ALL HE HAD TO DO WAS SET UP A FUCKING WEBSERVER, IMPORT A DATABASE, EDIT THE HOST FILE AND WRITE A SMALL 2 PAGE DOCUMENT ON THE INFRASTRUCTURE.

Each of the 4 "roles" within the project need to present their own part, guess whose part of the presentation isn't there...

I am so fucking done with this guy and 2 others in the team...

I just don't get how you can spend 1000's of € per year on uni and then not take it seriously.

"But using XYX is better and it's not hard to set up!"
No, fuck you and your recommendations.

It's too time consuming to set up that blazing-fast minimalistic modular shit, because I know I'll want to configure it to perfection until I bang my head against my tiny keyboard when I have finally realised that all the config I went througu only achieved the same outcome as the 'bloated' software I was originally using.

So, fuck you.
I'd rather get on with my life and get some work done.

It's not like I wasn't aware of XYZ in the first place; I'm not using it because I know what's more important to get my shit done.

its seems like ill lose my gf if i start my cs study cuz ill not earn money in this period.. wtf!?
is this dev life?
console.log ("fuck you") ;

When you need to work with the register of your microcontroller but you fuck up the addresses. I wasted so much time looking at my code to figure out what I'm doing wrong. I tried everything, looked up the datasheet again on how to initialize everything and in the end I fucked up the fucking register addresses. Three addresses had, at the offset, one 0 instead of two.

I never felt so dumb in my life

Jesus fucking Christ, how dumb can I fucking be?
I know this is like the most regular thing that can happen, but I've been searching for a motherfucking bug for about 40 minutes, I rewrote/erased a lot of code that could potentially cause that fucking piece of shit bug and it turned out that I just put ! in my if statement, where it wasn't supposed to be, and didn't fucking notice it for some goddamn fucking reason, fuck my fucking life

Giving up expectations of people.

People don't know what the fuck they want, so what made me think they could actually deliver anything? Idk, but it doesn't matter now, my life has been easier since I stopped caring.

Well my software update came through correctly, but now it crashes everywhere 😠😠 (Follow up on last Friday).

Doesn't work
I hate my life
fuck this shit
Oh I used the wrong list
*jumps from the top of the mountain*

FFFFFFFUUUUUUCCCCCCKKKKKKK!
endRant();

Booted my laptop in windows 10. Forced to install the new updates. Ubuntu partition got deleted.
Fuck my life, how can get Microsoft away with that? That's so stupid. Now neither Ubuntu nor windows 10 is booting and I have to perform a boot repair and recovery with a live CD...

Sometimes you just have to chuck it in the fuck it bucket and move on

Very applicable to my life the past few days

Follow-up to my last rant... The HDD is still not booting. I'm afraid it really is fucked up. (The screenshot is TestDisk doing a Deeper Search, and showing a shitload of Invalid FAT Boot Sectors)

How fucking hard is it to write simple documentation with everything you need to get something working for fucks sake. Several fucking hours of my life later and I'm still no closer to figuring out what the fuck is going on with something that should simple. FUCK!!

Reasons i hate Christmas #147

I have job interview tomorrow (27th) and i my hair looks like bum of a vulture with diarrhea
Near me is at least 15 barbershops.
NOT. A. SINGLE. ONE. OPEN. UNTIL TOMORROW
BECAUSE OF CHRISTMAS
Why the fuck has this holiday of manipulation and lies and misery and shit to have so huge impact on normal flow of life for so many days!

I
HATE
CHRISTMAS

I feel retarded...

After getting a new hard drive late at night bcoz my old one went kaboom, I put it in the case, wired it up but it wouldn't work, I tried connecting it to different SATA ports with different cables etc.. This went for 20 minutes and then I realized that the drive wouldn't even start spinning, then I discovered I hadn't connected it to the PSU. Fuck my life and fuck my retardeness.

I am a web app developer by profession and software engineer by qualifications but when there is a problem with router, firewall or a server needs to be setup, whether internal or for client, all my employer can see is me. Sometimes i get too tired of this shit. Also I am expected to work at home during night as if I don't have any life outside this field. I need to enjoy my life with I am young. I am twenty and stuck. Fuck it.

Never had a more stressful day of dev in my life. After shooting off about half a million emails today to clients who decide that they want their sites to go live over the long easter weekend (fuck knows why they all want it this weekend) I just need some beer and some Zelda. I love this job but sometimes it kills me

I was failing all the test cases for a CS assignment where we had to implement our own methods for strings in C++. After an hour of debugging, turns out strings don’t end with ‘/0’ in C++ like in C.
Fuck my life.

Omg I have to check 2350 svn commits.

We have 2 seperated frontends, one for maintaining old UI and one for new UI which is going to production in one month. So now I have to check if any CR/bug was implemented/fixed only on old UI. Frontend2 was created last year on july. Fuck my life

Turns out the reason the current tester12 build of Linux 3DS hangs on my 3DS (at the very least) is due to it trying (and failing) to get the version of the onboard NAND (where the Nintendo-sanctioned code resides), which hangs. If I boot the known-working copy of Linux 3DS and run parted, it instantly dies due to my NAND making it say "Error: A partition cannot reside outside of the disk!"

Either the onboard NAND is dying or Linux is just being an asshole. Either way... fuck my life.

Fucking fuck... My exams are over, today was the last paper(IoT) and it was quite good and I wrote enough to get pass the examination.
While coming home my flip flop got fucked, had fight with gf after 2hours, decided to go and work on my Electron project but MY FUCKING LIFE IS PLAYING WITH ME, MY FUCKING MONITOR IS NOW DEAD.... FUCK MY FUCKING LIFE.
😢😢 I'm so fucking sad that I'm feeling fucking numb, emotion less. My fucking mind is blank and now I'm having headaches.... Fml