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Dev: Hey our current server is starting to chug a bit. Can I get approved for $1200 additional spend to double the speed?
Manager: *Sharp inhale*. We need this project to cost as little as possible, we really can’t justify spending any additional money for any reason right now.
*2 days later*
Manager: YOU ARE APPROVED FOR $100,000 TO IMMEDIATELY IMPLEMENT SOMETHING RELATED TO NFTs IN ANY OF OUR APPS. THE BUSINESS NEEDS TO EXPAND INTO THE METAVERSE ASAP IMMEDIATELY. I NEED AN ETA BY EOD AS TO WHEN THIS CAN BE ROLLED OUT.
Dev: …16 -
WEB FUCKING THREE
Ok, some of this shit is interesting, let's get that out of the way:
Crypto - great for doing illegal things, great for financial speculation, interesting mathematically. But as likely to replace actual currency as I am to replace the fucking Queen.
NFT - should be written on the headstone of humanity. Entirely fucking useless, planet-roasting bro-wank dressed up as a revolution in...pretending to own shit. The only difference between a Bored Ape owner and my nephew pointing at a castle and insisting that it's his, is that he isn't thousands and thousands of pounds out of pocket by doing so.
Metaverse - AR and VR have been around before this dogshit rebrand, and they'll outlive it.
No, it's not that. It's that we now have a new species of parasite - the "Web3/Metaverse" LinkedIn guru insisting that this shit is even needed, let alone the next big thing.
Web 2.0 was a stupid fucking term alright, but it did represent a new generation of technologies that were badly needed, and adopted by the entire community. Web3 is a bunch of shit that some cunts think they can get rich off, so insist that we need. I wouldn't even give a fuck but I've already spent hours of my life explaining to clients and peers that this is UTTER FUCKING BOLLOCKS, there's no need for a blockchain in your app, there's no need for a blockchain in virtually anything. Yeah if you want some fucking 3d in your app or your page I'm your man, but if you keep saying 'metaverse' I'm going to fill it with easter eggs.
None of this shit was needed before and none of it is needed after. Have you looked at web3 games? It's Steve Buscemi asking 'how do you do, fellow computer games?', it's a fucking gambling app pretending to be something a human would do. Clash of Clans and Candy Crush already cornered the market for that type of fucking mug, right now you're making the Candy Crush business model look responsible and efficient. You CUNTS.47 -
Company upper management was asked of any plans for supporting businesses in the metaverse.
They said they want to focus on bussiness in the real world.
Absolute chads.4 -
Yeah sure, the Metaverse will be bigger than the Internet.
I really believe that. Short of a system collapse, there's nothing which will stop some Web/VR/AR amalgam from eventually going mainstream. If anything, a prolonged pandemic will make humans hunger for more digital entertainment and socializing options.
Might take 5 years, or 25, but it will happen in some form. Eventually, people will even readily accept various augmentations to their bodies to further immerse themselves and connect to digital experiences.
BUT:
We're still pre-bubble.
Does no one remember the dotcom crash?
Facebook/Meta will become the new Yahoo, decimated to a sliver of its former glory. Million dollar hype NFTs will become the new $10 parked domain names. 99.99% of all current efforts and content will end up like a modern day Geocities Archive.
So yeah... when I read that my pension fund is considering "investing in metaverse technologies"...
...you fucking bet it's time to transfer to a different fund!20 -
Y'all probably remember the terrible selfie of the Zuck with the Eiffel Tower announcing the Metaverse for France? I just had the thought, that it is certainly cheaper for me to buy a plane ticket to Paris and make an actual selfie with the Tower, than to buy a Quest Pro headset.4
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2021: What is Metaverse?
Google: I "think" it means...
2022: What is Metaverse?
Google: Seems "maybe" it is a ...
2050: What is Metaverse?
Google: Mate to be honest It's unclear to me also.2 -
How the fuck does that retard Zuckerberg manage to spend this much money on his metaverse and hardly have anything to show for? What are the developers actually working on? I mean, if you had that many people working that long on something you'd expect at least a product that looked all right, even if no one wanted to use it?!
I bet you could put a team of 20 top shelf developers, designers, QA and project managers together and give them 2 years to build almost anything we see today. A facebook clone, a Twitter clone, some sort of virtual reality look-at-my-perfect-but-empty-life-click-to-like piece of social shit-verse.. What the hell are they spending their time on?!!8 -
quantum computing cause it would be theoretically possible to digitize humans - I want to die and have my corpse burned before they start doing it so I won’t land in some metaverse corporate hell world against my will2
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Every time a new hype thing appeared, I was annoyed, like "kids these days and their tiktoks".
But at some point in time, this pattern of mine changed completely. I don't know how it happened, I don't know when it happened, but now I experience... acute nostalgia?
I miss Elon Musk and his twitter fanbase. I miss tiktok. I feel like a time traveller who went into their past, which is our present, to experience the cultural landmarks once again, because their time here is limited, and tomorrow they will have to go back.
I miss my autism problems and mental health uphill battle. I miss avengers and thanos. I miss metaverse.
Oh, and also... I miss you.4 -
Everyone knows about the origins of the "metaverse" but everyone keep talking about it as it was something positive.3
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the mistake people keep making when they're happy about some new tech and its possibilities is that they keep forgetting we are being ruled, and the tech is being controlled and monopolized, by a cult of megalomaniacal, narcissistic, powerhungry, moneyhungry, ideologically fundamentalist control freak lizards who give exactly ZERO shits about people, or the quality of their products, or some vision/ambition of making things better for people/humanity.
you think "vr metaverse", and you imagine Oasis because you think it's being made by James Halliday, while, in reality it's being made by a team of Cthulhus so it would be closer to reality if you imagined the people pods that ensure your lifetime connection to The Matrix.1 -
Whatever be the current trend on Linked-In, at the end of the day the product development life cycle remains quite the same.
Still, as developers which general domains in software do you think would flourish in the near future?
My picks (not in order) -
>> Cyber security : automation, both offensive and defensive
>> Block chain : trustable data platforms
>> Applied AI : a few key models, applied to all niches, bettering existing UX
>> IOT : wearables, embeddables, smart appliances
>> AR : Navigation prompts, real time info about real life objects
>> VR : Immerse entertainment. (Metaverse 🤮)
>> Quantum computing : first gen costly commercial releases, new algos
What would you add or subtract from this?1 -
Watched Nexpo's video on "This room does not exist". What a parallel. Once Facebook figures out how to simulate all the senses in the metaverse, they will torture you and sell you the right to forget it. This is according to the terms of use you agreed with without reading.1
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