Millennials

Coworker wrote a nice package and put it on Github, to share with other departments.

I link his package on our company Slack, mentioning a team, with text "What do you think of this one? Is it usable for you guys?"

Next thing I know I have to explain to an executive why I'm "posting pictures of seductive cartoon girls in company chat with disrespectful commentary"

It linked the Github profile picture of the developer in Slack. A fully clothed anime girl, nothing particularly lewd about it.

But I like stabbing back a bit, and confusing the fuck out of people in suits:

"Hate to say it, but a good majority of all the code the company runs on, is written by people known as weebs, who use their so called waifus as their GitHub profile picture. It is very common for open source Javascript packages, but since we recruited 50 extra devs it now also happens internally. It's not my thing either sir, but I'm afraid we have to embrace it... "

"But what about our female devs? What about Joanna, she's in your team? We have to think of diversity! Our investors are really in to diversity, we can't have a bro culture!"

"Sir, with all due respect, we have super diverse teams without even trying. The problem is... they're all millennials. They grew up on weird memes... and are probably ten steps further in embracing diversity compared to the rest of the company."

"Also, Joanna is the one who drew this particular picture. She's charging a €15 commission for profile pictures... Do you want one of your fursona, sir?"

"What is that?"

"Uh... nevermind. Let's... let's not go there"

I wish my dad wouldn't bring up the cost of college to me.

Yes it costs me $12,000 to attend full time semester. Yes I'll be on $75,000 of debt by the time I graduate next year.

Why the fuck do you think older millennials aren't planning on buying homes, putting off marriage into their 30's let alone thinking about fucking kids.

It's not his fault, I love my parents. I just feel like they want me to pull a rabbit out of a hat when I'm already pushing full time work and soon full time classes.

I'm tired. 😔

Our dad: we used to walk 10km to goto school
Millennials as dad: we used to use 10kbps internet

Millennials are getting right f*cked.

Low paying jobs,
Many hours of travel to work because one can't afford to live closeby,
working 10 hour a day, and
there is no hope of owning a home.

Then people say 'oh what do you do when you get home?'

Sleeeep for the limited hours left!

Then your partner says 'oh you just come home to sleep'

Then you have instagram and all these 'influencers' saying go after your dreams... while they very well know they only get paid for heavily edited images.

Wish things were better for everyone.

Millennials era!

I'm so tired of so many fucking articles about millennials this and millennials that. Like holy fuck millennial has to be the journalism equivalent of AI or block chain.

I loathe JavaScript. Totally blaming the millennials for making this shit popular. #thankshipsters #fuckyourhashtagstoo

The most important skill you can have is doing things without shame.

Shamelessly stay in your bed all weekends watching PewDiePie, never brushing your teeth, eating Doritos from under your pillow and peeing into empty Mountain Dew bottle if you feel like doing it.

Shamelessly spend your vacation sitting in the toilet with a laptop browsing reddit.

Shamelessly cut your product in half and ship it if you don't feel like perfecting it.

Shamelessly admit that you don't know something when you messed something up at work.

If you are a millennial like me, chances are your gen x parents told you that you have to be perfect / really good to succeed and to be worthy.

You know what? Fuck your parents then. Fuck my parents as well. Admitting this behavior wrong and actually giving up on living like something is always watching is the best thing you can do to your mental health.

I'm lazy. I write "any" here and there when they force me to do typescript at work. When I need a sidebar, I go and copy-paste that jquery snippet. I write like one article a month at best and I really want to say "fuck it" if I just don't feel like it.

You can always give up on everything and it's perfectly fine. This doesn't make you any kind of looser or something. You're perfectly fine.

Too bad I'm only beginning to master that.

People calling themselves "Thought Leaders" on LinkedIn.

Torn between wanting to know what the fuck this means and knowing that the answer will doubtless make me lose even more faith in humanity.

The one I just saw referred to as such (probably by himself) is that Simon Sinek goof who went viral a while back for saying that all millennials are useless lazy dopamine junkies because their parents spoiled them beyond repair. He looks like the kind of gold-plated twat who would definitely consider himself a Thought Leader, even though 'millennials are a bit lazy' is the kind of insight you can get down your local pub from the guy who'd otherwise be trying to sell you tickets to a dog fight.

How do you qualify as a Thought Leader? Do you just need to dress like salesman of the month, or do you actually need to be good at anything?

I love LinkedIn.

When you start hiring millennials

[UPDATE] on my newly joined internship

Considering how corporate the organisation is, I'm surprised how chill everyone is. My team consists of mostly millennials, which is great!
Everyone is super helpful, I honestly thought it'd be shitty experience joining in and it'd all be so formal but none!
First few days I got no work, so I went and asked my mentor and he just laughed and said go home, watch Netflix, which I definitely didn't expected cause corporates

I got web testing work twice (sad I didn't get more, but in time it will increase), got some research work currently which is cool too.

Honestly, I wasn't excited to join as I didn't know what kinda work would I even get(it was pretty vague) but I'm glad I got this.
I'll continue to update here, and sorry I couldn't update any sooner

Cheers my dudes

@lazyDev reminded me of the time my bid for a project was rejected because I'm a white man. Never mind the fact that I have built my career around data management, visualisation and modelling and the only other competing bid was from someone who had experience in mobile development and little else. I checked up on the company and the project just now, and they've posted the project up again. I've made a bid just like I did before, only this time I've tripled my price. Let's see if they change their minds.

I was just watching a web series on X: the generation that changed the world, and damn!! Those X-ers (people born b/w 1961-1981 ) have really made changes that disrupted the whole world! Comparing to them, i feel like we millennials haven't made anything *that* disruptive.

- calculators happened which evolved to computers and then began a crave for knowledge and technology
- Netscape gave a new use to computers
- Tim Berners lee ,napster disrupted the way of sharing data.
- Google changed the way of searching.
- Amazon gave the true business value to internet.
- The revolution of music , hip hop and television.
- ...
(And these are just the first 2 episodes!)

Btw what do we millennials bachieved? Tiktok, heartbreaks, and porn fetishes :/

“Millennials are picking up their phones on average of 237 times per day. The machines have not adapted to the millennials. The millennials have adapted to the machines.”
Started listening to this book. So far so good.

When your code reviews are marked as either "on fleek" or "shady a f"

!rant

Dear oldies,
Star wars is boring.
Regards.
Millennials

Before Unicode was ruined by millennials

Most systems didn't support it and

Old school expressions were in ascii

See

: - ) ())===========>. 0 - :

Oh the universal experience so many of you people are remembering right now

Merry Christmas