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I greeted my staff this morning with the phrase
"Morning, mind if I ruin your Friday?"
They laughed, but won't be soon enough. The task we've been working on for weeks, ripping apart the codebase changing it to work a different way, fixing a tonne of bugs, making it faster and simpler to add features too. Well business has decided they want us to stop, undo it, spend a month on something "with higher ROI" and then finish it off after that.
Business are expecting this to have no impact on any of the timelines and just to be like flipping a switch. Now obviously I won't let that happen and fight back for more time, but yet another session of compromises, arguments, and yelling. YIPEEE!!!!!!12 -
I was totally in the zone earlier.
Plenty of caffeine, plenty of anger thanks to idiots, rocking out to Amon Amarth and Disturbed, and chewing through a difficult logic problem. It was wonderful.
Then.
Then there was a mandatory all-hands meeting. A mandatory meeting entirely consisting of someone doing a (admittedly decent) presentation on very basic marketing. (Basic as in "This is what ROI is." 🙄) It lasted for about 40 minutes, totally killing my zone and butchering my productivity. I've barely gotten anything done the rest of the day, thanks to that.
On the bright side, I worked out the logic on stickies during the talky-people bits. Maybe I'll be able to write it tomorrow.4 -
At the data restaurant:
Chef: Our freezer is broken and our pots and pans are rusty. We need to refactor our kitchen.
Manager: Bring me a detailed plan on why we need each equipment, what can we do with each, three price estimates for each item from different vendors, a business case for the technical activities required and an extremely detailed timeline. Oh, and do not stop doing your job while doing all this paperwork.
Chef: ...
Boss: ...
Some time later a customer gets to the restaurant.
Waiter: This VIP wants a burguer.
Boss: Go make the burger!
Chef: Our frying pan is rusty and we do not have most of the ingredients. I told you we need to refactor our kitchen. And that I cannot work while doing that mountain of paperwork you wanted!
Boss: Let's do it like this, fix the tech mumbo jumbo just enough to make this VIP's burguer. Then we can talk about the rest.
The chef then runs to the grocery store and back and prepares to make a health hazard hurried burguer with a rusty pan.
Waiter: We got six more clients waiting.
Boss: They are hungry! Stop whatever useless nonsense you were doing and cook their requests!
Cook: Stop cooking the order of the client who got here first?
Boss: The others are urgent!
Cook: This one had said so as well, but fine. What do they want?
Waiter: Two more burgers, a new kind of modern gaseous dessert, two whole chickens and an eleven seat sofa.
Chef: Why would they even ask for a sofa?!? We are a restaurant!
Boss: They don't care about your Linux techno bullshit! They just want their orders!
Cook: Their orders make no sense!
Boss: You know nothing about the client's needs!
Cook: ...
Boss: ...
That is how I feel every time I have to deal with a boss who can't tell a PostgreSQL database from a robots.txt file.
Or everytime someone assumes we have a pristine SQL table with every single column imaginable.
Or that a couple hundred terabytes of cold storage data must be scanned entirely in a fraction of a second on a shoestring budget.
Or that years of never stored historical data can be retrieved from the limbo.
Or when I'm told that refactoring has no ROI.
Fuck data stack cluelessness.
Fuck clients that lack of basic logical skills.5 -
The fact you’re older doesn’t give you the right to call other people’s 8-months’ engineering effort “shit work”, especially if you didn’t even see the code...
Sincerely,
Your tech lead - me :)4 -
Mining-Noob-Exp. #1
Just received some ordered ASIC miner from Bitmain. I'm very excited wether I'll reach the ROI or just bought some expensive heaters.
Lesson learned: Don't forget about possible (high) import taxes and fees in your calculations. 😐
Time to piss of my landlord who is paying the electricity bill. 👺
15 -
TL;DR you suck, I suck and everybody sucks, deal with it....
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Let me let off some steam, since I've had enough of people hating on languages "just because"
Every language has it's drawbacks and quirks, BUT they have their strengths also. Saying "I hate {language}" is just you being and ignorant prick and probably your head is so far up your ass that you look like an ass hat. With that being said, every language is either good or bad depending on the developer writing in it. Let's give you an example:
If I ware to give you a brick and ask you to put a nail in a plank, can you do it? Yes, it will be easier if you do it with a hammer, but you have a brick, so hammer is out of the question. If you hit your thumb while doing it... well... sorry, but it is not the bricks fault - it is YOU!
JavaScript, yes it has a whole lot of problems, but it works, you can do a ton of stuff and does a good job at that, it is evolving through node and typescript (and others, just a personal pref), BUT if you used js when you ware debugging that jquery (1.0) plugin written in the free time of a 13 yo, who copy pasted a bunch from SO, well, it is not js' problem - deal with it. Same goes for PHP, i've been there where you had a single `index.php` with bazillion lines of code, did a bunch of eval and it was called MVC, but it also is evolving.. thing is all languages allow you to do some dumb stuff so YOU have to be responsible to not fuck it up (which you always DO btw, we all do). Difference is PHP/JS roll with it because the assumption is that you know what you are doing, which again - newsflash - you don't.
More or less I would blame that shit on businesses which decided to go with undergrads to save money instead of investing in their product, hell, I am in a major company that does not invest that doesn't care a whole lot about dev /tech stuff and now everybody's mother is an engineer - they care about money, because investors care about money (ROI) and because clean code does not pay the bills, but money does.
If we get all of the good practices and apply them to each language every one of them has it's place, that is why there is no "The Language", even if there was, we STILL ware going to fuck it up and probably it was going to be even worse than where we are now.
Study, improve, rinse and repeat... There are SENIORS and LEADS out there that are about 25-30 and have no fucking clue about the language, because they have stuck up their heads up the ass of frameworks and refuse to take a breath of clean air and consider something different than their dogmatic framework "way" of doing things.. That is the result you are seeing. Let me give you a fresh example to illustrate where I am at atm:
Le me works with ZendFramework 2.3-2.5 (why not, which is PHP5+ running on PHP7 [fancy, eh]), and little me writes a module for said project, and tries to contain it in its own space, i.e not touching anything outside of the folder of the module so it is SELF-CONTAINED (see, practices), during 2-3-4 iterations of code review, I've had to modify 4 different modules with `if (somthing === self::SOMETHING_TYPE)` as requested by my TL, which resulted in me not covering 3 use-cases after the changes and not adding a new event (the fw is event-driven, cuz.. reasons) so I have to use a bunch of ifs in the code, to check a config value and do shit. That is the way of I am asked to do things I hate what I've done and the fact that because of CR I have lost case-coverage, a week of work and the same TL will be on my ass on monday that things are now "perfect".
The biggest things is "we care about convention and code style"... right.... That is not because of the language, not because of me, not because of the framework - it is some dude's opinion that you hate, not the language.
New stuff are better, reinventing the wheel is also good, if it wasn't you would've had a few stone circular things on your car and things ware going to be like that - we need to try and try, that is the only way we actually learn shit.
Until things change in the trade, we will be on the same boat, complaining about the same shit over and over, you and me won't be alive probably but things will not change a bit.
We live in a place where state is considered good, god objects necessary (can you believe it, I've got kudos for using the term 'God Object'... yep, let that sink in). If you really hate something, please, oh god I beg you, show me how you will do it better and I will shake your hand and buy you a beer, but until then, please keep your ass-hurt fanboy opinion to your self, no one gives a shit about what you think, we will die and the world will not notice...6 -
That moment when you change your mindset from "I'll probably leave the office by 6pm" to "I hope I'll leave before midnight"1
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My day:
5:30AM - 2yo son wakes me up, I send him back to his bed
6AM - wakes me up again, gotta grab a coffee
7:30AM - leaving towards the office
8:30AM - finally arriving to the office, after horrible traffic.
*continue working on major schema change I started yesterday*
12:30PM - Lunch + Beer
1:30PM - Tequila time!
*back to work*
7:30PM - Finally done with coding, leaving the office
8PM - home at last
9:30PM - Beer time
9:31PM - "I'll just write a couple of more lines"
12:30AM - "That's it, no more code for today"
12:31AM - "I'll just scroll through devRant"1 -
!personal
So, I was diagnosed with congenital nystagmus at an early fucking age. This is complicated for people who've never heard of it before to comprehend, until they notice the eyes of the person in question. Think of it this way: I lack the biological form of optical image stabilization. Because of nystagmus, I can't fucking drive.
Now, let me tell you, it really fucking sucks. I've never had a girlfriend, never been able to get a job, basically never been able to do the type of shit most of you can already fucking do. Pile that on with college, where I don't really fucking know anybody, and it's really fucking easy to see why I've had depression and nearly fucked my GPA over last semester (2.08, yeah it's embarrassing but fuck it).
That out of the way, nystagmus is rare. So rare that any surgeries to fix it aren't guaranteed to fix the problem, and are only marginally better. I have strong skepticism for any optometrist who acts like they perform this surgery every day, because the numbers simply don't back them up. If there's so few who have this issue, then the amount of operations and opportunities to do them are fucking slim.
Today, my mom came over to Indiana from Ohio, and took me to the local Cheddar's (do other countries have those??). We sit down, and she wanted to re-hash this surgery idea. I have made the statement before that these are the only two eyes that I will ever have, and there's no guaranteed ROI on any procedures, and is probably going to fuck me over if shit hits the fan.
Then she tells me there's this doctor in Maryland. I might be geographically challenged (lol), but I'm pretty sure that's over on the east coast. It's forever from here, we'd probably have to take an airliner.
This doctor made some pretty bold fucking claims. Not only was it possible he could fix the nystagmus, but he could help me use a special form of glasses that would enable me to learn to drive. Knowing that R&D on nystagmus was sketchy because of the aforementioned conditions, I had to tell her that I still don't know how I feel about it. Also, if this doctor moves from Maryland to any of the other states, would he still be allowed to do these things?
I told her I don't know how I feel about it. I'm not sure it's worth the money if we follow through and come to find out it's not enough, and I still can't drive. She acts like this stuff is dead simple. I don't think it is. You have perceived benefits, but there have to be caveats. This would be a major change, and I don't know how I feel about following through with it.9 -
left the office early today to see my 2 years old son before he goes to bed.
it's 11pm and I'm working from home, gonna wake up around 5:30am to commute to work.
I really need to move closer to work3 -
Some people are really getting high on this Agile shit. Probably because they learned some new bullshit bingo phrases - and it suits them: lots of vapory talk and expensive meetings and others will have to do the work anyway, while they can circlejerk on how to have shorter iterations to improve the time to market, increase the business value, inspect and adapt to faster deliver a minimal viable product - yeah, do the agile transformation, update to the digital age, you noobs. Throwing around some catchy phrases will let you compete with Google? Maybe need some blockchain or machine learning?
While you are clustering your post its, the coders who keep the ship afloat, sit in their legacy code base that's so bitrot they are mainly doing bugfix releases without a single feature for three fucking years. Consider this.5 -
on one hand- got a new job, on the other hand getting a new MacBook pro just before they release a new generation2
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I might be pushing my 4 years old macbook pro too hard with 2 IDEs, 1 instance of datagrip, and tons of open browser tabs, all on 4gb of RAM..6
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so current elon - Twitter situation is like this:
EM - i will buy this company for 44B
Twitter: what!? 44B for this crap? our ESOPs will make us millionaires! sure , go ahead.
EM - Sike!! i was kidding. no deal
Twitter - NO BACKSIES!!! *sues*
EM - ugh, okay. i will buy this company, but i want full ROI in next 5 years + 50% of you are fired
Twitter - Whaaa!!!
----
i guess some disaster was expected from this takeover and twitter mgmt throwed themselves on the axe on their own.
but it's wierd why every CEO change comes with an immediate firing of staff16 -
Randomly one day, out of the blue:
Echelons: You now have Workspace, and it’s a requirement you use it. Make it successful because we paid and are paying a large dollar amount for it, and our competitors have reported success with it. We want email communications companywide eliminated by 50% within the first 60 days.
Management: Ok, excellent! We want to do XYZ.
Echelons: Nope, can’t do any of that.
Management: Ok, how about a, b, and c?
Echelons: Nope, nope, nope.
Management: Alright, let’s try 1,2, and 3.
Echelons: Nope, not possible.
Management: What can we do then? We need further direction at this point.
Echelons: One group for all departments, posts, and attachments only. PDF, .jpeg, .png files only. Everyone in the company must be registered within seven days and using the platform. Only mobile devices allowed.
Management: We have almost 10,000 employees, and the SSO aspect alone could take weeks and months.
Echelons: Insignificant as Facebook said it should be easy to deploy. Also, every post not created by admin will need to be manually approved and done so within 5-10 minutes after its submission 24/7, 365.
Management: Ok, solved. A little shaky, but it’s working. Can we increase the number of admins and moderators?
Echelons: Only 1700 employees have registered; the app has been up 14 days now? What’s wrong? Where’s the engagement? Effective immediately, all members of management must be creating and starting 4 to 7 posts daily, including weekends.
Management: Our registration process with the SSO client isn’t smooth and clean across all devices. We had to implement training to overcome this. Can we increase the number of admins and moderators? Can we make all members of management either administrators or at least moderator? Can we at least turn on live streaming and video formats?
Echelons: No! 10 admin and mods max. Yes to streaming and video.
Echelons: Progress update, please. Include ROI timeline and impactful usage data. This must to pay for itself in the first six months and continue to pay for itself long term, along with showing XYZ company-wide growth quarterly.
Echelons: Hello?
Echelons: Hello?
Having Workplace shoved down your throat has been an interesting experience. Anyone have any exciting ideas or examples to share on what they have utilized with Workplace and increased employee engagement?7 -
Python file truncate instead of actually deleting file contents...
there goes a weekend of log backups.. FML -
developer oriented saas? well yeah, you could've at least develop a decent SDK for one language, or just let people send JSON payloads instead of XMLs..a**holes
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Brewmaster.
I've been brewing my own beer for about 6 months now and super positive feedback keeps on coming :)2 -
So I developed this proxy server that will throttle down API calls to one of our providers so we don't get blocked for TOS violation...
Some dude had a tool running all day long which crashed 2 minutes before I left work.
This literally ruined my day until I recalled it's all cached!!!!
Mood is back again and I deserve my beer! -
Just spent a lot of time on custom building an Ubuntu docker container, and forgot to save the image before I accidentally reset the whole thing to blank1
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Going over some NodeJS code, and I feel like the scene from "Dude Where's My Car" - "And then....And then..."
Coming from almost three years of 99% python, this hurts my eyes so much1 -
Getting started with Python's asyncio is probably the worst experience I've had with the language in 2+ years I've been using it.2
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So I've been on vacation for a week now, still two days to go until I get back to work.
It's been super fun, but I am getting pretty stressed about the shit-ton of work I have to do when I come back.
How do you let go?2 -
Playing around with a POC I'm doing for work, and it works so well I got an IP ban from one of my favorite websites for a massive amount of requests they got from me
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Writing DAL code that I am 99% sure will be replaced really soon along with the database schema.
Angry coding is almost as good as tipsy coding - AMAZING. -
Installing the entire system on new machines. Too many configuration files and too much manual work. (New workplace, haven’t automated it yet)
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Finance lady keeps turning the air conditioning off.
It's either sticky note on the controller or R&D vs. finance lady on an on/off battle...
What do you say? -
No rants about new MacBook pro generation? Obviously one must rant about the absolute need to buy adapters to connect keyboard&mouse (let's be honest, BT devices out there are mostly nowhere near ergonomic)1
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Read about concepts that are new to me and try to implement them.
Code reviews with experienced devs -
Ex-manager keeps trying to boss me around. Not only that- he now tries to get fame for a project I’ve been doing for six months that he actively avoided managing...
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Camembert cheese in the fridge is great, but how can one survive without the stronger Nespresso capsules ;(
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on one hand - softlayer is way less intuitive than aws...
on the other hand - when your boss tells you you can bring up up to $1000 monthly valued servers, you can forget about the first hand
1 -
So I just refreshed LinkedIn and it has a new look.
It's so bad I can now remember Microsoft bought LinkedIn a couple of months back every time I look at it1 -
So I spent about a day on this brilliant priority calculation formula just to come to the conclusion that FIFO would be a better approach for now1
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POCing a neural network thing.
Luckily it's a shallow network, but it's taking a frickin' eternity to train :( -
so they brought a senior engineer to our (very small) dev team. I feel like poking my eyes with a nail looking on his code.1
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