Friends Pandemic December proposal: "We should all get on Zoom every weekend, play Christmas trivia games and do shots"

Family ideal Pandemic December: "Lets send each other Secret Santa presents throughout the whole month, and get on Zoom and unpack them"

Me: Chilled out on a reclining seat next to a freshly slaughtered green fir tree, burning hearth fire, warm wool sweater, faux fur slippers, big mug of liquored up hot chocolate, keyboard on my lap, writing a Rust library on big screen TV.

Sorry friends & family, y'all are doing holidays wrong.

Happy holidays.
-- signed, Grandpa Bittersweet.

So I bought myself some computer glasses after feeling uncomfortable looking at a screen with "bare" eyes (I don't wear corrective glasses).

But the other day, I lost them.

I looked for them everywhere, under each grain of dust I could find. They were nowhere to be found.

Reluctantly, I bought new ones. They arrived today, I unpack them, test them, and then do some flat cleaning. I lift some envelope and...

My first pair was sitting there, innocently.

Fuck me.

Who wants to unpack this RAR 😂😂

I was at a company for almost 5 years (my first job too). Got fired a few months ago by my mentor/the lead dev who was there for about 3 - 3 1/2 years of my time there. He left for better opportunities, he knew the company was pretty shitty to work for. He comes back (why???) and fires me about 1-2 months after his return.
Reason why, I'm unhealthy for the company and the company is unhealthy for me (not because I'm a bad dev, cool I guess). I don't disagree (a lot happened while he was gone, but he doesn't really know what happened) but this happens after I have a "discussion" with him about how I don't know how to prioritize my work anymore with new policies regarding billables and pms and management pushing me in multiple directions in regards to what I should be working on. (There's more to this but I'm trying to finish this rant eventually.)
I'm not surprised but I'm pissed at the company for never really improving and I'm pissed at him for drinking the kool-aid so to speak.
I want this company to fail. I'm surprised it hasn't. The place was a shit show when it came to the Dev department and my old mentors return didn't help much either.
I should get over it and move on but this place was like a toxic relationship I couldn't bring myself to leave (as much as I wanted to leave and knew I should). And there's so much to unpack with this place.
I'm hoping dev rant can be a good place to unpack the shit I dealt with there over the years so I don't burden my friends and family with my thoughts.
So yeah, hey ya'll and welcome to my rant(s).

!rant
Challenge for all Linux users:
You have to unpack sometarball.tgz
You have 10 seconds.
No googling!
Can you do it?

"Our company encourages cryptocurrency big data agile machine learning, empowerment diversity, celebrate wellness and synergy, unpack creative cloud real-time front-end bleeding edge cross-platform modular success-driven development of digital signage, powered by an unparalleled REST API backend, driven by a neural network tail recursion AI on our cloud based big data linux servers which output real time data to our Wordpress template interactive dynamic website TypeScript applet, with deep learning tensor flow capabilities.

Don't get what the fuck I just said? Udemy offers countless courses on python based buzzwords. Be the first out of 13 people to sell your soul and private information, and you'll get the first three minutes of the course free!"

Arguing with my girlfriend (recalled from my mind, not 100% accurate)

she: What do you expect when you buy an android?
Me: sure thing apple is more "unpack it, use it", easy to use - but android is more like an empty canvas. The first thing when I buy it is setting it up to my needs.
she: You don't understand, what do you expect from your android device?
me: It has to be affordable and work for a certain time
she: No I mean, do you.. when you unpack your phone, expect it TO WORK?
me: Sure, it's not like I buy a pile of trash, I expect it to work
she: you're too stupid, baka
me: ... ? *confused*
she: When you say it is like a canvas, isn't a canvas someday full?
me: yes, every phone, iPhone, Pixel, Samsung, every phone has a limited memory
she: *mad* you don't get it, silly
me: I want to but heh, I don't get it

Hexdump oneliner

php -r 'for(;$r=fread(STDIN,16);)printf("%08x %s $r\n",$i++*16,join(unpack("h*",$r)));'

So i was putting finishing touches on an android game i was building in Unity3D as a fun side project - implementing google play leaderboards and google ads.
Luckily google is nice enough to include 2 unity plugins for ads and leaderboards/achievements however, THE FUCKING PLUGINS AREN'T COMPATIBLE. TWO PIECES OF SOFTWARE THAT ARE LITERALLY MEANT TO WORK TOGETHER HAVE COLLIDING .JAR FILES PREVENTING ME FROM BUILDING THE APK.

i had to spend fucking days trying to figure out how to unpack the jar files and what to remove from them so they would stop colliding.

WTF GOOGLE?

!rant, but let me tell you this

I wanted to automate some tasks in work, because it started to be a pain in the ass, manually copying those assets took me between 30 - 50 min

let me see, I always wanted to check out python so I started to copy paste some code together, editing it and after a few hours all I know I have a tool which logs in to our work CMS download and unpacks a zip archive, creates a backup from the old files in the repository and moves the files I just downloaded in the repo, I put this in a loop for our twenty languages (websites) and its done

Im amazed, I never picked up a language this easy to use

Duck! this sloppy whiny winnfsd.

Yay! Let's use state of the art Docker with a VirtualBox VM on Windows10.

Don't get me wrong.
The Docker containers in this VM doing a great job on performance.

But in the very moment a Docker container uses a mounted folder via the windows network filesystem, all hell is breaking loose.

Building a vendor folder using a composer Docker image with 84 Packages takes about 15 seconds when cache has been warmed up.

The same Docker command pointing on a folder mounted to Windows Filesystem with warmed up cache takes about 10 Minutes!@&&@""+&

And what is the duckin' reason for this delay?
Because every transfer of a teeny tiny file has to establish a connection to fat ass Windows OS and has to pass it's glorious "security" layer.

DUCK it!
For real.

I currently working on a shell script which builds the whole vendor folder on a volume on Docker VM.
After completion, the shell script will compress the folder to one file.
This one file will be transferred over this god damned network filesystem.
Finally the script will unpack the compressed vendor folder in it's destination folder.

*sigh*
What year is it?!??

trying to unpack game's archives
"this game uses .arc files"
*glances at game's asset folder*
"sounds.dat"
"sounds.fat"
"sounds_patch.dat"
"sounds_patch.fat"
"world_chunks.dat"
"world_chunks.fat"

erm... okay

*tries dat/fat unpacker for other game, packer crashes*

well we're fucked, huh

Company paying tons for retired old mainframe devs to come teach basic z/OS and to give a hands-on. Third try and they still sent a guy showing off their windows based mainframe replacements without terminal connections.

I set an pirated z/OS up and now I have to deal with 10 coworkers who apparently can't unpack a 7zip, follow basic instructions or failed to open the .torrent with files i distributed 14 days ago. Losing the will to live (in legacy tech)

My current job sent me to another country to work and paying my 5 star luxury hotel. You know what that means. Your king of shits big shitter shitbeast has now shitted in the hotels toilet and that's just day 0. Its the first thing i did. Didnt even unpack my briefcase yet. Shitting comes first. Nice hotel with gym spa and pool. Almost like burj al arab