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When your boss asks you to debug some crappy legacy code and you need to bring in the heavy artillery7
About 10 years ago my wife and I were buying a house. We found out late that we needed a lot more cash than we had previously thought we needed, and the deadline to deliver it was just a few days away. After returning home from my full-time gig at about 6pm, I took a break for a bit and then worked all night on a job for a client to make up the extra money. When 7am rolled around I had just finished up. Then I went back to work at my full-time job, and later met with the client to present my work. It was roughly 27 hours at a keyboard for me. That effort made it possible for us to successfully buy our first home. If you want something badly enough, make it happen!8
So the interns tried to 3d print a rubberduck and it got stuck mid way.
Guess i have a coding duck now
I call her "Detached HEAD state"22
Not a coding test, but:
Them: So you are interviewing for a programmer opening. Do you like programming?
Them: do you make logos?
Me: ...I can...?
Them: good because you won't always be writing code here.
Me: I'm out.9
The worst career choice I ever made was walking away from a six figure salary software development job with benefits to focus on the small startup I co-founded just a few years earlier. My wife and I had two small children at the time and my wife was also nearly 8 months pregnant with our third. It resulted in an approximate 70% reduction in income, prematurely cashed out 401k and loss of existing health insurance.
To be fair, it was also simultaneously the best career choice I ever made. Three years later I make more now than I originally walked away from. The raw roads of stress, anger, fear and complete uncertainty have aged both me and my wife at an accelerated rate but we have grown closer to each other than we would otherwise be. We have relied on each other, and she has been unbelievably supportive with all the late nights and required traveling. We discovered what we are capable of. In one day it will be October. In one day it will be the month that we finally pay off our last batch of credit card debt that resulted from that career choice.
I cannot recommend following in our footsteps as from where I’m sitting there are much better, more calculated ways of going about it. Logically, what we did was beyond stupid. Luckily for us, we were still young enough to not grasp the full magnitude of stupidity and we also refused to fail. It’s also crucial to have stellar business partners who are just as crazy and just as determined. We have all labored tremendously and we have each played critical roles in our success. The hard times of fear and uncertainty aren’t over. I don’t think they will ever be, to be honest. But, it sure has been one hell of a ride. I wouldn’t change a thing.16
Early in my career I was assigned the task of implementing a 3D pie chart into our application that you could spin and rotate with your mouse. You know, because sometimes you want to see the sides and the back of a pie chart.4
It had been 13 days since I was last approached with a "great idea for an app".
Today, the counter resets to zero!10
7 am. Dog wants out. I roll out of bed after trying to pretend I am dead.
Walk down the stairs to the side door. Half asleep and notice that the door has daylight shining through on the lock side. Didn't shut it all the way the night before. Walk outside. Dog does his thing. Turn around. Doors locked.
Go for my phone. In the house. Go for my keys. In the house. Fuck. Fuck a duck.
Start checking my windows. One opens a fraction of an inch. Doesn't do me any good. Dog is outside with me. Freezing his ass off. It's like 5 degrees here.
Both of my neighbors don't answer their door. Life flashes before my eyes. Put my dog in my jacket to warm him up. Little 15lb rat terrier. Not made for snow.
He's fine for now. I grab a piece of rebar from my backyard and lever my window a bit more open, busting one of the locks.
And then I yell "ALEXA. OPEN THE FRONT DOOR." The voice of an angel responds. "OK." Whirrr. Click. Door opens. Sweet warmth.
I need a fake rock with a key under it.
The devRant Podcast is finally here!! We're happy to announce the release of episode #0 - featuring Andy Hunt (known for The Pragmatic Programmer, rubber duck debugging, DRY, and much more). We can't thank Andy enough for agreeing to be on our first podcast episode and it was so enjoyable to interview him.
We also want to give a huge thanks to our two devRant users who helped us out and came on to talk about their rants - @silhoutte and @sway. We also greatly appreciate all of the questions that were submitted by community members. We really wanted to ask all of them since there were a lot of good ones, but we had to narrow it down a little as Andy was already kind enough to go over the 20 minutes we had originally asked for. This episode features questions from @casanovanoir, @fatlard1993, and @3K-Vengeance.
You can get all the links to the podcast here: https://devrant.io/podcasts/... (available on iTunes, Google Play, and we've provided the raw mp3).
If you'd like to see it on any other platforms in the future, please let us know. And like always, feedback is appreciated since we're new to this and still learning our way when it comes to podcasting. If you enjoy the show, please rate it to help us out :)
If you're going to bother to detect that my input is without hyphens, then you can certainly insert them for me too.8
My girlfriend always takes pics of me coding saying it looks beautiful lol... I once told her that code is like a beautiful woman who is sick and you're the doctor and can't figure out what's wrong and occasionally ask your rubber duck for help...24
Not writing unit tests.
Everyone reading this is guilty of it.
Anyone who says otherwise is lying.23
That awkward moment when you tell your gf you want a rubber duck for your birthday present but you mistyped it.
Gf: "Sweetie, what gift do you want for your birthday?"
Me: "a rubber dick would be fantastic! it'll help me debug things"
Gf: "Ok... if you say so..."8
I came from a village, we have animals (like a farm), pigs, chicken, sometimes duck and goose. One day I had to work from home, bc had to come back to parents house. Our daily skype meeting was like this:
* discussing very important IT stuff *
* grandma rushes into my room *
me: sorry, but i have a meeting
grandma: i just wan...
me: but i cannot right no...
grandma: just wanted to know if...
me: grandma, I cannot right now, we have a skyp... im talking with colleagues, on the computer
grandma: * quiet voice * okay, i dont want to interrupt, I just want to know - Did you ordered the ducks?
* what I hear in headphones: collegues and boss LOLd sooo hard *
me: ffs, what ducks?
grandma: did your father not give you the guys number?
me: * starting to sweat * what guy? no he didnt, i have no idea what youre talking about
grandma: * disappointed * then who gonna order them...?
grandma: * standing next to me, she hears the laughter * whats that?
since then, if im working from home every skype meeting starts with "Tommy, is your grandma there? HAHA!"7
Apple just announced a new 6k monitor. The stand for it is NOT included and will cost $1000.
This snapshot of the presentation is meme-worthy.
...People will still buy it.29
Client just informed our support that they solved their own forgotten password problem by clicking the "forgot password" button in our app. They say they are now awaiting the email with the password recovery details.
One problem: we don't have a forgot password button in our app.10
Hooray for open source!
So my mother's Model M died. I didn't think that was possible but it looks like even the best ones have to die eventually.
I was one click away from ordering a replacement controller board for around the same price I had bought the keyboard for, when I duck-duck-went one last time for a service manual. Because maybe there was a error code table and maybe that flashing num lock light would tell me something about the defect. Then, I could investigate further and maybe repair the keyboard. I didn't find one.
What I did find was someone who made a USB controller board back in 2008, documented it well and published everything. It fit my Model M and I had all the parts at hand so I could fire up printer, etching bath, drill and soldering station and make that thing.
Now there's a working Model M on my table just because a guy named Ronald Schaten thought of future people having the same problem as he had.
Be like Ronald. How specific your issue might be, someone /will/ have the exact same one. Document and publish your solutions!9
So I found myself explaining to my rubber duck all the things I've done wrong in my past relationships...
What? It's a great guy, I shouldn't limit it just to code issues, I have a life it could fix too4
My sister in law got me this guy for Christmas after I told her about devrant!
She found it in a rubber duck shop in Amsterdam.
Best sister in law!11
My lil girl has a habit of bringing me her rubber ducks whenever she sees me sitting down and just chilling. But this far she has (funny enough) done it twice whilst I am coding.
This time she got me super duck!!!
:) i love my lil girl13
Do you ever talk to yourself out loud while thinking/programming/debugging? (Not a rubber duck in sight, because that makes it okay?)
I need to avoid making this a habit..
Me: What? Why is this even an error?
Client: I am unable to turn on my computer after running you app. Can you plz help me out.
Myself: Sure, since my app is corporate web app and nothing to do with OS lvl functions but still I will help you. (Didn't really had a choice🙄) Tell me your exact scenario.
Client: I think I was downloading some torrent as well, and then I am unable to turn on my computer.
Myself: Ok, try restarting your computer. Press power button 1-2 times.
Client: Nothing's happening.
Myself: Plug in your charger and try again.
Client: ohh! It started.
Myself: DUCK FACE😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑😑
( Disconnect the call immediately) And start writing code for people who doesn't even fucking know how to start the computer.1
I actually talked to my duck. He solved my Server 500 error which said "java.lang.NoSuchFieldError: logger". I had to purge the build .class files and recompile the application and low and behold it runs.
Why is my duck a better debugger than most actual debuggers? He didn't even go to college!11
So yesterday I became an actual human rubber duck!
So I have a colleague in my team that for weird reasons is not allowed to work with the same thing as the other colleagues in the team is allowed to work with. So she´s kind of alone, working on another project, and that seems to suck really hard.
And this is how I became a human rubber duck. She asked me a couple of questions about a technology/language I´ve never touched before and I told her I never worked with that technology or language and know nothing. But she was eager to get me over to take a look at what she meant.
So I came over to her screen and she started to tell me everything about the project, the technology and the language. I soon realized she wasn´t only looking for help, she was probably feeling alone in the work she was doing and just needed someone to talk to. So I took my role as the human rubber duck and sat down to listen to everything even though I almost didn´t understand anything.
I think it actually helped her even though I did nothing.
Being a human rubber duck felt good!7
I found a duck today and just had to put a little cape on it 😂
I guess you could say..I really want the d 😏
Sadly I could not convince it to become my companion 😭8
Today I became a rubber duck debugger 🐤
I was leaving from office and spotted my senior collegue sitting glued to the screen solving an issue. I sat along with him to embark on a debug adventure. I casually asked him about the issue and what might cause it. After a bit of discussion *bam* he figured out where the problem lies and solved it in an instant.
Quack quack off I run 🐤5
*Just got a package delivered, didn't check yet*
Friend: who sends you stuff from from the USA?
I (excited as fuck): uh it must be my
Friend: your what?
I explain, he walks away not giving a fuck.
But I don't care what he thinks, i love my new devDucks. Oh and special thanks to @dfox for the autograph. Well technically you just signed the customs declaration, but an autograph none the less.3
Guess who's birthday it is! It's my birthday and that are my birthday gifts my GF gave me 😍🤩
Also starring Dick-butt Debug-duck!
I feel blessed. 😁26
And so it began.
I made debug duck-chan (with devrant-chan of course lol)
@No-one this is your fault xd29
It would be really awesome if devRant would send us a rubber duck if our rant gets more than 1000++ 😝😝20
Yet another someone just contacted me about having a "great idea for an app".
That's a justified rant all by itself.8
Stackoverflow has come up with this great idea of "virtual rubber duck". I just tried it. And I must say that I'm really enjoying it right now!6
At my first job, I got tired of having to type a user name and password every time I debugged the web application. Thinking I was clever, I put in a hack so that if you launched the application with the query string "?user=Administrator" it would log you in as the administrator. So much typing saved!
A couple days after the next release, I realized it shipped like that. In absolute horror, I walked into my boss' office, closed the door, and told him the tale of my mistake.
He just looked back at me, and after a moment or two said, "Loose lips sink ships."
And that was it.6
That moment when you find yourself seriously arguing with your rubber duck about which approach to implement...2
To not break with the "tradition", here is what your pink goddess cooked today. It was tasty, although someone forgot to buy half of the ingredients I wanted, for example any vegetables at all.
Duck with rice and some tasty peanut sauce.
Share your non-instagramy christmas food with everyone!
Merry Christmas or whatever you celebrate these days!26
Took me a week to realize that "!rant" just means "not rant".
I thought it was some sort of post front-matter that was no longer supported by the app (like a Duck Duck Go "bang").
If I run into a problem with code or a configuration of some kind, like a good little programmer, I Google it.
One of two things will happen:
1) I quickly find the answer to my problem.
2) After hours of searching, I can't find anything about my problem. At all. I change the search phrasing, adjust the advanced search settings, read all the somewhat related but still unrelated articles. Nothing.
If #1 happens, awesome, life is great, thanks Internet!
If #2 happens, it's because of one of two things:
1) I am the first person in the world to stumble upon this issue. Quick! To the Blog Cave!
2) I AM TOO STUPID TO BE DOING WHAT I AM TRYING TO DO BECAUSE MY MISTAKE IS SO UNBELIEVABLY DUMB THAT NO ONE HAS BOTHERED NOR WILL BOTHER TO WRITE ABOUT IT, ANYWHERE, EVER. I LOOK AT MY WORK AGAIN FOR THE 100TH TIME AND FINALLY REALIZE MY EMBARRASSING NOOBERY.
2.1 is a unicorn. 2.1's happen to other people.
I am dealing with a 2.2.2
The problem with my life is acceptance from others. Validation (almost wrote vladiation).
For instance, I finished my course in Advanced Java Programming a few days ago. Supposed to be a year course or some shit, finished it in two months. They told me I don't need to go to the remainder classes and I could write the examination. Got the certifications, passed with flying colours.
Well done me? No, fuck you me. "It's not through Oracle, so it's completely useless. Har har you wasted your measly salary on a course and it means nothing". You know what? Fuck you and fuck validation. I will validate myself from now on.
Anywhom, what a start to a shitty rant. Let's go over some generic points so I can finally make my avatar.
IE can suck a duck ("oooh you made it and it runs fine in every fucking browser except fucking IE - slow clap).
Chrome RAM usage can suck a duck, two times. (just generic post, don't actually give a shit - I use Firefox).
People who can't use one fucking indentation standard ("oooh two spaces, oooh three spaces, oooooh a fucking tab button... " etc) can fuck off.
That fucker who came and converted my buildings in Age of Empires with the "wolololo" priest can fuck off too.
Been reading through devRant and you know what? You guys are pretty cool6
So I was just informed by a Canadian colleague there's a giant rubber duck in Toronto.
They should've advertised it and keep it to make a Developers' Mecca... and hold a Developer's Day where we all gather and yell out all our problems.4
(I wrote most of this as a comment in reply about Microsoft buying GitHub on another rant but decided to move it here because it is rant worthy. Also, no, I'm not a Microsoft employee nor do I have any Microsoft stock).
Microsoft buying GitHub makes sense. They contribute more to the open source community on GitHub than any other company. (Side note, they also contribute/have contributed to the Linux Kernel).
Steve Ballmer isn't running the show anymore. Because of that, we have awesome things like:
* Visual Studio Code - Completely free and powerful light weight IDE for coding in just about any script or language. This IDE is also open source, hosted on GitHub. It can be installed on Win/Mac/Linux.
* Visual Studio Community Edition: fully featured flagship IDE free for solo developers and students, can be installed on Win/Mac.
* Fully featured Sql Server running in a Docker container.
* .Net Core, which can be compiled to native binaries of Windows, MacOS AND Linux. You can't even do that with Java, you have to first have the JVM installed in order to run any kind of Java code on any of those operating systems. .Net Core is also an absolutely beautiful framework with so many features at your disposal.
Yes, they've done bonehead things in the past but who/which company hasn't. Yes, they have Cortana. Yes, they force Bing on you when searching with Cortana (does anyone actually regularly use Cortana? Or Bing?). Yes, their operating system costs money. Yes, their malware-style Upgrade-to-Windows-10 tactics were evil and they admitted such. Yes, they brought ads and other unfortunate things to Skype. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't concerned about that Skype bit translating over into GitHub. BUT, the fact that so many of their employees use GitHub daily means they are dogfooding the platform, which is a positive thing.
Despite the flaws, from the perspective of a software engineer they really should be given a lot of credit for all these new directions they are moving in now. They directly aim to help and contribute to the developer community. Plus, Windows 10 is finally getting a dark theme! haha.
I think Microsoft buying GitHub makes a lot of sense. Of course do what you want about it, feel how you want about it, but casting the same ol' shade at them for anything they do seems a bit like automatic reflex more than anything else.
I'm bracing myself for the impending wave of angry hornets from the nest I just kicked. In all seriousness though, I welcome discussion on the topic even if you feel differently than I do. I'm not saying there's no reason to dislike them, just saying there are lots of new reasons to hate them less and/or appreciate what they are doing now.23
The hardest part of programming is not the inner workings of the chosen frameworks and tech.
It's the damn naming.
I will spend hours trying to figure out what to name things for sense and clarity and then a fraction of that time coding it together.
*me, staring out the window*
"Hey dude can you--"
"Ssshhh. I'm naming things."17
Fucking HR interviews. Fucking "tell me about yourself" and pretending to seem interested in what i have to say while you think about how you did it with a guy behind the dumpster.
For fucks sake, i am a developer, i have spent more time with coding language than human language. I speak more to a rubber duck than to my friends. That's what you want to know about me?
I am here to fix your fucking site that uses flash plugin in 2017 and you want me to tell good things about your company?
Do you want me to tell you the details about your site that i got from whois and that your subscribed domain registration will end in September this year?
You don't know what responsive design is and you dare interview me?
Thanks for wasting my time and telling me shit about your company and how you have offices in germany and china. Well guess what? I dont care. I am busy thinking about some girl... Actually i am thinking about my side project. I dont know why i pretend to be cool?7
Dropped out to grow a business I co-founded. Respect to all those that finished. I was already working a six figure salary as a software engineer before I even started at a university. I decided to attend though to have a more complete resume. One day a professor explained that we could look forward to doing really "advanced concepts" like web services OUR SENIOR YEAR. That was already daily life for me. Our business was starting to grow quickly and it needed more and more of my time. I chose the business and for me, that was the correct choice.7
While watching season 2 of Star Trek Discovery, it was nice to learn SQL is alive and well in the 23rd century. Also, that there are still idiots that don't defend against injection on a warp-capable spaceship with transporter technology.3
A recent project actually taught me how HORRIBLY STUPID it is to store large bodies of text in a SQL Server database. There were millions of records with pages of compressed text each.
More and more text records pile on every single day. Needless to say it was becoming super slow and backups were taking WAY too long.
After refactoring them out as compressed files to disk storage (I love you, micro-services) and dropping them completely from the database, the backup size went from 90gb to 3gb!
It's not every day you get to see a dramatic result like that from a refactor.
Lesson learned, and yes it was quite cool.6
So you remember this Headless duck that found it's way into debugging? Well after a few more adventures of 3D printing, it evolved. Afew parts that never would have seen the daylight were added to his body.
Say hello to: Lt. Duckfix4
Best coworker? My boss. Insane poker face skill level. I once saw him get too many pickles on a sandwich, and it was the same face he made when I fucked up DNS and brought company email down for 3 hours. I don't know how he does it, but he can navigate any bullshit political scenario with ease, and still duck out a couple hours early without catching any hell. Neither C-level nor catastrophe can shake his resolve. The man is a stone.3
Why Windows, do you need to spent 30 fucking minutes getting your Shit together after an update when I can leave a Linux distro basically alone for 6 months, come back, update it AND STILL FUCKING USE IT. Yet you fail at even starting remotely promptly.
On an SSD. With enough RAM. Top notch hardware. YOU STILL FUCKING FLAP AROUND LIKE A DUCK HAVING A STROKE ON A FROZEN FUCKING LAKE!14
- "no dad! this is my rubber duck. get your own" my daughter said.
okay.. she's 6 months old, so she can't really speak, but i could se it in her eyes.3
DEVDUCK ADVENTURES 0x01
Sir duck the first has joined me for some song writing and web development.
Speaking of song writing... I just released my new album!!!
Check it out: https://retrylife.bandcamp.com/albu...29
Designing a new software product: 1000 hours
Designing a logo and picking a color scheme that pleases everyone: 689236323447876 hours1
Friend : “What’s a devDuck”
Me: “We’ll use it as a problem solving technique. It’s a technique where if you get stuck, you try to explain the problem to a rubber duck.”
Friend: “Because you don't have the people skills to describe it? Autism levels skyrocketing”
Soo much fun working for a cunt as a boss:
B: We getting soo close now, the plane is coming in to land.
Me: Yes, but the engine is busy falling off
B: Well, if we miss the deadline, its only us to blame.
NO YOU INSIGNIFICANT LITTLE CUNT, ITS YOU, ONLY YOU, 100% ENTIRELY YOU YOU SHIT FACED DUCK DICK.
We are on version 8 of our deadline, which was initially March, our next and final extension ends next Friday, we are this fucked ebcause all he fucking does is make bad descisions and pointless changes, we been telling hims once October to stop making changes if we ever want ot make the deadline.
Directly after he vommited that poes out of his mount he goes on to detail the massive change to the data structure that only needs to be changed as he refused ot listen to the developer when they told him not to do it that way 3 months ago.
How is it even possible that someone this moronic and incompitent can actualyl exist on planet earth. He is not even a flat earther.2
Dear dfox and trogus,
Is it possible to arrange a secret santa kind of duck gift sharing campaign once a year? Not necessary need to be a xmas campaign. We can wait until you update the shopping cart process with the feature 😬
Each user can buy ducks for other users. You can contact the recipients for the address if you don't have yet and do the delivery.26
What the fuck is up with interviewers asking about my goddamn hobbies now? My hobby is slowly going blind while frustratedly talking to myself through an anthropomorphized rubber duck you fucking idiot, that's why I'm here in the first place. "Well we want a well rounded person". I'll give you a well-rounded asshole. It used to be, "well do you write code in your spare time too"? What the fuck do they want from us? Next time I'm answering this new "hobby" question as follows:
I DO COKE AND FUCK STRIPPERS! I'M THE ROCKSTAR DEVELOPER YOU'RE ALWAYS JERKING OFF TO, CAN YOU EVEN HANDLE THAT YOU ASTONISHING PUSSY?17
Thanks to Devrant I've learned about rubber duck debugging. Never heard of it before! It reminds me of a story many moons ago when I worked for a certain multinational company as a business analyst. The company brought in some consultants who basically stole the work my team was already doing on a big project (a horrendous series of spreadsheets linked to data coming from the core systems) and sold it back to the company for an insane amount of money as their idea.
When they launched the new product, the team I was in was asked to test and review it. It took my colleague ten seconds to bring the whole thing to its knees and trigger a corrupt data export back into the core systems. Bearing in mind this external company somehow managed to charge tens of thousands of pounds. So what did my colleague do? Hack the system? Some kind of complicated sabotage? Nope. He typed "FISH" into one of the spreadsheet cells! Thus the FISH test was born.
That day I learned several things: it's easy to break things with a fish; the importance of validating your input; and the satisfaction of showing up the smug bastards who stole your ideas and work.3
Fried from working all day, not long after getting up and doing something else the itch returns.
Coding is a drug and we're all addicts.
Super important prospective client: Yes but can your software application do that thing?
Me: Yes, yes it can do that thing.
Prospective: Great, fantastic thank you please take my money.
Me: *runs away to implement that thing*
Please have my tombstone read "sales-oriented software" as cause of death.3
Here’s one that has been the reason that I’ve not been on devRant for a while.
School counselor decides to come to me saying “Oh hey, it’s your last semester and at this rate you’re not gonna graduate bud” Why the duck couldn’t you tell me earlier?! Fine, fuck you, just give me FOUR extra online classes. ELA, Game Dev, Web Des, and Criminology. Alright, ELA and Game finished with no issue. Then comes Web.
This class is a complete piece of dog shit wrapped in HTML5 memorization hell. I don’t give a single fuck what a scrum is, or that this bitch doesn’t know how to ask her client if she can use their logo, the dumbass. How about you teach me more about actual STRUCTURE AND FUNCTION, HUH? MAYBE SOME EDUCATION THAT DOESN’T INVOLVE MEMORIZING ALL THE FUCKING HTML TAGS EVER?!
I am literally brute forcing my way through the tests. Failed? Open the lesson, close it, test reset and unlocked. Try again until you pass. Fuck this class in its miserably over complicated yet somehow over simplified existence.
Now I’m gonna go get some goddamn sleep. I’ve been at this shit for hours.6
One of our existing clients who used to pay for two of our products but now only pays for one just called us. The one he canceled is a loss prevention product that tracks internal theft in stores. He canceled it because he didn't feel it was worth it.
Now, he's calling us from a police station because he's trying to press charges against one of his managers because they were presumably stealing from him.
"Hey I need to know how many times this person stole from me over the last few months and I need to know it now because I'm at the police station."
With just a few clicks that would be an easy figure to retrieve for him had he not canceled our product.
My stance is he can get lost. I don't even think he sees the irony of canceling because "it isn't worth it" and then "asap" needing the data that the "worthless" product provides. Of course, he wants it without reactivating the subscription.
Why does CSS never work the way you'd expect? All I want to do is align something to the bottom of a div. No. Will not happen. You'd think it might be something simple as 'v-align' or 'align: bottom' or 'fucking put it at the bottom: now;'
No, it's never that simple. I try every result I can find from googling. Nothing. Simply does not work.
How about trying to keep a div to a square when you resize the page? That should be simple? height = width right? Fuck you. Ha hahah, no you have to implement some horrendous arcane hack involving fake elements and other bullshit.
You finally fix one thing and everything else you had working is now broken.
...and then some fuckwit comes along and goes "Oh, CSS isn't hard..." and it takes everything you have not to beat them to death with your rubber duck.
What the hell is wrong with CSS? It's not even programming! It's just pure, sadistic hell! FUCK CSS!!!!15
I'm a lead engineer, I design, I code, I debug, I test, I struggle, I deliver, I'm just a basic building block in my company, hardly involve in product roadmap planning. This is pretty clear in my LinkedIn profile. Jp Morgan recruiter called me for Vice president role. VP? Seriously? me skipping 4-5 levels, just with an interview process? Are you kidding me?
I asked her two times "...are you sure?", I lost my words, somehow gathered courage and asked, "what's the portfolio looks like, how many people will report to me?" Then she, calmly revealed that it's just an ic dev role and they name it that ways in their company.
What the actual ducking-duck-duckkk!
P.s. not sure about jpmc rest of the world but that's how it is in jp Morgan india.10
Friend got me a rubber giraffe because he couldn't find a rubber duck for my birthday. This is a toy for infants and it's perfect. Apart from satisfying the use case of a rubber duck for debugging, it has added features like you can chew it when you're too frustrated (coz it's made chewable for babies) and when you press it, it makes the weird peep peep noise so that you can express your glee in successfully finding and fixing a bug.
10/10 would recommend.8
There was a pretty big bug that I spent all day trying to pinpoint. It was getting really late, so I called it a night and went to sleep.
That night, I dreamed that I was still at the computer, debugging. I kid you not, in the dream I both found the bug and realized what the fix needed to be. In that moment, I woke up.
I ran straight to the computer down the hall, and sure enough, that was the issue and that was the fix.
Shoutout to the capabilities of the human brain.
Developers created IDEs with intelligent code completion and languages provide users with an annotation syntax to document their methods.
And then there is Python, nuking all the efforts of our ancestors by dynamic typing. And they are smug enough to call this laziness duck typing. "If it squawks like a duck, swims like a duck, walks like a duck its a duck".
Shit no, it ain't a duck because a fucking goose does all the same but is a mean bastard compared to a duck. You might pet a duck but only the craziest will attempt to pet a goose.
Fuck python and undocumented methods in particular!14
The last several weeks I've been coding at 100%, most all day and well into the night. Today, I just can't.
Things I have done today:
*Walked around outside a bit.
*Let my 18 month old daughter type all over my code
* Closed mysterious dialogs and menus daughter opened up that I couldn't open if I tried
*Watched the Mets score 10 runs on the Phillies in the top of the 5th inning
*Stared at stuff
* Cleaned up a few thousand emails out of my inbox
* Added filters to never see them again
* Noted impending deadlines on the calendar
* Stared at more stuff
In the meantime so many more ideas have come flooding in on how to proceed with these various features I'm working on. Can't even run from work.
So, no such thing as laziness, because apparent laziness is also productive. The exhaustion becomes doubly frustrating because there's just no way to physically keep up with the breakthroughs.
I'm still just staring out the window. It's raining now. Today is done.7
To all "StackOverflow is BAD" ranters - give link or don't post. And even before, please read
Facebook/Instagram era taught people that it's easier to just ask question gazzylion of times before doing research / using search (even "site:stackoverflow.com" search)
I do rarely post on SO just because in 99% of cases I find solution when preparing my question during research or due to yellow duck effect.
When I got qualified to do reviews on questions I started to see how often they are so abroad or so primitive than 10min of duckduckgoing would solve it. But no, it's easier to use other people for you.6
I live in the USA. Recently moved to a new state. Contacted car insurance company to change my policy to the new state.
Upon doing so, I was told about a new program they have where you install an app on your phone that monitors your driving. It gives discounts to your premium for driving safely.
Intrigued, I decided to try it out. At the end of the month, my discount was TWO DOLLARS.
Uninstalled, not worth the surrender of personal information that they profit off of in addition to my premium payments as well as the drained battery every day.
Has anyone else had experiences with similar discount programs, and was it worth it for you? Maybe I’m just a shitty driver ;).20
Oh boy how do I put it?
So I am an introvert and I have a strange question.
But first some context is needed. I am mostly nice to people not because I like every one but because I think it would only waste my time arguing with them so I just start to ignore the person I don't like. Which puts me in a strange situation where a lot of people think I am their friend where I don't care about them heck I don't know names of some.
Now because I am introvert people/friends see me as someone they could unload their secrets on (knowing I won't tell anyone (because I don't gossip(because it's waste of time) ) ). So I know almost every gossip worthy shit that I don't want to know about or don't care. Sometimes they even ask me for some relationship advice and then it seems like I am like a rubber duck for extroverted people cause at that point they kind of ask questions that clearly they want some specific answer (wich if I don't provide they will say themselves). Also it is also lame to ask me as I have never been in a relationship (I am an Indian and here somehow people seams to get in a relationship just to be in a relationship. (cause it's "modern", "forward thinking" "cool") (which I can already see will not last)). I am not against relationships but I think it's better to appreciate a friendship rather then forcing that "a girl and a boy can't be friends".
Ooh BTW the question to other introverts is if they become rubber ducks to there surrounding people?13
I feel lonely on my way back to home. I am a bit depressed while listening to the song "Alone" by Alan Walker. Because I code alone all day and I am single. There is a shop in my neighbourhood. It has its light turned on this night, perhaps just to increase its exposure. But, there is something so shiny that caught my attention. It is a smiling duck. I don't know what the duck is doing right there. I havent seen it before. But the shop is closed now.
At this moment, I realize it could be my friend when I don't have a friend.4
Python. Ok, so it's a really cool language, as a scripting language it's awesome, quick to write.
When it's been used to make full fledged oop programs that you suddenly have to maintain things like duck typing become problematic. Looking at an object fuck knows what methods are available. Worse still when some bastard that thinks he's being clever doesn't bother declaring any object attributes and instead overrides the __set_attr method to dynamically add them as they are used there is no hope for the poor sod that has to maintain it later.
I've also now worked out I'm at least the 3rd person having been given the task of maintaining it, i spent a day changing CLI options wondering why they didn't do anything but occasionally crash the app. I've now found a few thousand lines deep that someone had hard-coded these values because they couldn't work out where to get the CLI args from!
I've gained a new appreciation for nominative, strictly typed languages.11
Not really rubber, but he's my duck.
He's literally one year younger than me so it makes it quite special.
I really like him 😄6
So couple of days ago I've told you that I've made an Duck Hunt Easter Egg in one of my utilities. And @jiraTicket asked me:
"How on earth do you get a decent gameplay out of Duck Hunt without a Nintendo lightning gun?"
Well the answer is..:
Connecting Leap Motion and making them suffer..
P.s. It took me a loooong time to hit that duck with this controller=))))
So, I was shopping with @terrus and we found this lost duck in the bakery shelf. We felt it was a call of fate... Obviously, we bought two of them 🦆🦆❤️2
One of the first things I learned while screwing around in Linux for the first time was the calendar in the terminal. I never thought I'd have an actual use for cal, and it just sat in the back of my mind for a year.
Then, two weeks ago, I needed to find the date for a saturday in December, because I thought it was the seventh. My duck was like "Hey, your terminal is right there, why not use that cal function instead of looking for your calendar?" And I was like "Dude, that's genius!"
I have since done it thrice more for various reasons, and it has saved me like four minutes in total. I love all the little things like this in Linux (I'm pretty sure Windows and obviously MacOS do the same thing with practically the same command, but shut up and let me enjoy myself (and it just feels more accessable in Linux because I use the terminal so much more often))
God I need something to do...
Wait! I have several things to do! The first one will be making a list of all my projects.
Or spending another two hours on devRant.1
Another incident which made a Security Researcher cry
[ NOTE : Check profile to read older incidents ]
So this all started when I was at my home (bunked the office that day xD) and I got a call from a..... Let's call him Fella as I always do . So here we go . And yeah , our Fella is a SysAdmin .
Fella - Hey man sup!
Me - Good going mate , bunked the office , weather's nice , gonna spend time with my girl today . So what's goinon?
Fella - Bruh my network sharing folders ain't working no more .
Me - Did you changed or modified anything?
Fella - Nope
Me - Okay , gimme your login creds lemme check .
Fella - Check your inbox *texts me the credentials*
*I logged in and what I'm seeing is that server runs on Windows2008R2 , checked the event logs , everything's fine and all of a sudden what I found is fucking embarrassing , this wise man closed SMB service*
Me - Did you closed SMB service?
Fella - Yeah
Me - You know what it does?
Fella - Yeah it's a protocol , I turned it off to protect the server from Wannacry .
Me - Fuckerrrr!!!!! Asshole dumbass you fuckin piece of Dodo's shit!! SMB is the service responsible for files and network sharing!!!
Fella - But....I just wanted protection
Me - 😭😭😭
*A long conversation continues with a lot of specially made words to decrease the rate of frustration which I used already*
Fella - Okay I'm turning it on .
Me - Go on....... Asshole
Fella - It worked! Thanks a lot bro
Me - Just leave me and my soul away from evil and hang up .
*Now the question is , who the hell gives them the post of SysAdmin? While thinking this question , I almost thought of committing suicide but then my girl came with coffee and my rubber duck*1
Time for a soap box rant.
I just found this in one of our projects. I've simplified the example to make it more anonymous.
When I see code like this it automatically means there is a lack of attention to enumerations and/or understanding of what they are.
One may argue that in a certain execution of code it's a minor performance hit and therefore insignificant. It's still a performance hit. Furthermore, it takes even less time to do it the right way than it does to do it the wrong way.
Every one of these lines will enumerate the list from the beginning to try and find that one element you're interested in. Big O notation, people.
Throw that crap into a dictionary or hashset or similarly applicable data structure with direct reads at the beginning of your logic so that it only gets enumerated ONCE when the data structure instance is created. Then access it however many times you want.
Soap box rant over.22
When I get stuck I usually try a variant of the duck method. I find someone not involved the project and explain my problem to them. I always figure it out before I finish explaining3
conversation between me and coworker via slack:
me: why ffs does this class extend this class. Calling it as a static?
me: it's called as a static exclusively throughout the entire project. shouldn't it be moved to a core singleton class?
me: yup, moving it to core
me: thanks for being my rubber duck
Small feature request, but I think it would be cool if you guys could add some devducks with colored capes as well as keep the classic yellow duck as an option inside Desk Items (L).
I know its impractical to add text for obvious readability issues, but I think the base color of the actual capes would be cool, you know to match your current devduck irl :) Maybe keep the classic duck at +100 and have a higher ++ for the devducks with capes? Anyways, I'll just leave this here...
DevDuck Cape Colors:
#222242 // Purple
#b22028 // Red
#f4f6f9 // White
#f4753e // Orange
#171615 // Black
#3a6894 // Blue3
Let me introduce you all to my debug crew.
Dennis the Pirate and Puzzle the Mystic.
I won Dennis as a prize at the Renaissance Festival (I hated the festival). The attraction was called "Dunk the Wench". There would be a girl sitting on a platform that opens up if you hit the target, and she would drop into a pool of water. I paid $10, hit the target after 3 tries and picked Dennis as my prize. Oh boy she was mad, like I give a fuck. 😂
Puzzle the Mystic
Went on a no Wi-Fi trip with buddies to some rural part of Minnesota. We had booked an entire cabin from Airbnb. Final day comes and I go to the bathroom to take a dump. I see that no one replaced the toilet paper and I open one of the cabinets to get some more. But something catches my eye, I see this weird yellow thing and realize it's a rubber duck. I gave it the name Puzzle, because it puzzled me at first because of its shape. I really wanted to take it, and not steal it. Luckily, The owners came to do some farm work before we left. I asked the owner I'll pay for the rubber duck, because it's unique. She said to just keep it. She must've thought I was weird 😂6
I am hoping to get two dev ducks soon.. I am naming the first "sir duck the first" and I will probably name the second one "Steve" ..
I will then make a series of posts called "DEVDUCK ADVENTURES" . Is will be a photo of the duck or ducks and a little story or something about that day's adventure. (I will try to keep it interesting)
I am only writing this down / posting so that I don't forget when I actually get the ducks.
Don't steal my idea.6
A rubber duck plugin for all ide that reminds the programer to drink water ( I usually forget to drink water while coding) and more than a few errors it should pop up automatically1
Around 11:30pm I honestly thought I was about done, but a series of production issues has kept me up until 4:30am. Solving one revealed another, and so on.
Finally, all is quiet.
My setup: AMD Phenom-2 1100T with fat cooler for silent PC, 16 GB ECC RAM, AMD Radeon HD-6850 passively cooled, WD Blue 1 TB HDD. One 22 inch monitor with 1650 x 1050.
The mouse is a bit broken because the click switch under the mouse wheel doesn't work anymore. The empty bottle in front of the PC is necessary for lying on the room light switch, or else it won't work. And the black/yellow tape is a fix for the worn out seat cover.
But the best, under the monitor, is the little green troll that serves as rubber duck.
Hahahaha just typed "teste" (Portuguese for test) in duck duck go and it showed me a picture of testicles ( I guess...) With huge "Testicle" written above it in the middle of the office hahahaha
Hope no one saw that, it was funny.1
I have an Android phone. Pixel 2 to be exact, and I love it. Many family members and friends of mine have iPhones. To each their own.
Having said that, I absolutely HAAAATE the stupid iPhone feature that lets users react to text messages. Today all those iPhone users added me to literally 5 different SMS groups (which by themselves are their own sin), chatting up a storm all evening. I already hate group texts, please, leave me alone. But it gets so much worse when my phone blows up with twice as many messages because so-and-so "liked" this message, and so-and-so "laughed" at that message. It sends you their chosen verb alongside the ENTIRE original text AGAIN.
Such a stupid feature, leave Facebook on Facebook, why the hell do text messages need reactions? I don't give a shit that you liked or laughed or loved that so and so said they will be there at 9 o clock.
At least i have the ability to mute notifications for each group otherwise I'd be replying to every group text I get with a trolling big trigger item or something super inappropriate until they stop. Don't want this to continue? Stop group texting me, stop reacting to texts, and don't do it again.12
Had a scheduled call to interview a dev contractor. He told us any typing noise we hear is just him taking notes. Ok. After several questions the long awkward pauses, typing and furious mouse wheels make it evident he's a liar and looking up answers.
Still managed to tank the interview and wasted our time.
I sure hope that wasn't one of you guys.3
I promised myself I wouldnt cry but ... nah I wont.
So I got the job and today was my first day of work, well not precisely work but introduction to the cultuure of the place, signing tons of paper, I probably sold my soul but who cares?, and I met my team, so far everything seems cool, except tthat I will be using windows and wont be able to use any streaming websites or services (yt, spotify, deezer, etc) yes I know, there are ways around it, but come on guys I dont wanna start screwing my first week of work, anyway everything is cool, even the food is tasty there iis only one thing left, my workspace Im an extremely bad decorator so I need ur help, (and yes I know i have to have a duck and a devrant stressball) but apart from that guys and gals, any ideas? So far ive thought about a debugging body, a lava lamp and an extra monitor.15
I used to collect rubber ducks back in college. I was absolutely crazy about it and tried getting my hands on almost all different types available like the Punk duck, the Pirate duck, the Weed duck....and so on.
I met this girl who was into the same thing and we ended up banding together to create a sort of webpage where we'd write crazy and hilarious origin stories for each of these ducks. We'd go to great lengths to create ridiculous comic book style encounters between them and had a lot of fun doing it.
We dated for a while but it didn't last.3
Does the devrant face thing have a name?
I have been calling my stress ball Devin when I use it to rubber duck debug.
Devin, developer, devrant...
I know, home run.😅7
TL;DR: Google asked me to PROVIDE a phone number to verify connection from a new device, on the said device.
Yesterdayto log into my work Google account from my personal laptop to check emails, calendars update and so on. I opened up a private navigation window, went to Google sign-in page, entered my credentials, all is well.
Google then decided to "verify it's me" and prompted me to PROVIDE a phone number (work account without work phone means no phone number set up) so that they can send a verification code to the number I just provided to make sure the connection is legit.
Didn't want to do that, clicked "use another method" and got asked to fill the last password I remember, which would be my current password thanks to my trusty password manager. After submitting, I'm prompted with an error saying I have to contact my admin to reset my password because they can't log me in with my CURRENT password.
I ain't gonna do that, so went back to login page, provided my phone number, got the code, filled in the code, next thing I know I'm browsing through my emails.
What the duck? Could have been anybody giving any phone number. So much for extra security.
Also don't care that they have my phone number, the issue is more about the way used to obtain it: locking me out of my account and having no other way of logging in.6
I built a chrome extension that brings a digital rubber duck to your browser for debugging, companionship and laughs - the perfect companion for a dev. :)
The logo was inspired from Devrant's ducks too, and the project is open source.
You'll find the GitHub repo here - https://github.com/rameshaditya/...
Do give it a star if you like it, that would make my day! :)5
I recently accepted my first "real" Dev position. This has been a huge hurdle for me.
So my degree is in graphic design and it's pretty much what I spent the first 2-3 years after university doing. In fact, when I started at the place I am now (I am still working my notice) I was hired as a creative artworker.
I had always had a website I put together with some basic frontend skills, but always assumed the backend stuff was "beyond me". But, given the option here, I asked to be sent on a PHP course. Holy shit I took to it like a duck to water. Over the next few months I got my feet wet building a new website for the company, building out a little intranet, all that good stuff. I went from procedural spaghetti monstrosities to nice, OOP, documented code. It was beautiful. And no one here really have a fuck.
About 6 months ago, I started trying to leave. This was hard. I actually had several interviews for design positions, but always got turned down for some variation of "you're very technical and we think you'd get bored here" and thank god really, because they're right. I could never get a look in for Dev jobs though, because on paper I had no experience, hell my job title was still "Digital Designer" despite over a year of developing here.
But it finally happened. Through someone I used to know I got my foot in the door for a developer position. In the interview they even told me if it was a junior position they'd hire me on the spot - but sadly it wasn't. I had a good time though, a good laugh, and had a lot of fun finally, for the first time in my life, "working" and talking with other developers.
Over the next couple of weeks the agent kept telling me I had done really well and they were just dragging their feet getting things sorted, but I gave up hope a little. So imagine my surprise when I found out they turned the role into a junior one for me!
And so now, I get to go to a job where my job title includes the word "Developer". To some of you that might not mean much, but to me it's a fucking medal I wish I could mount on a plaque on my wall.4
OK I've just got an idea that I think would be quite neat:
How about a virtual rubber duck that sits in the corner of your editor? Just like the gem in old Word, if you remember. It's yellow and quacks sometimes, and nods understandingly when you talk to it (mic monitoring).
And it also monitors your typing and says (popup text bubble) things like:
"those parentheses doesn't look balanced to me"
"did you really initialize that variable?"
"you wrote JASON again"
"you forgot the ;"
You get the point.
I don't have time to implement, feel free to steal my idea and become a millionaire.5
I have come across the most frustrating error i have ever dealt with.
Im trying to parse an XML doc and I keep getting UnauthorizedAccessException when trying to load the doc. I have full permissions to the directory and file, its not read only, i cant see anything immediately wrong as to why i wouldnt be able to access the file.
I searched around for hours yesterday trying a bunch of different solutions that helped other people, none of them working for me.
I post my issue on StackOverflow yesterday with some details, hoping for some help or a "youre an idiot, Its because of this" type of comment but NO.
This is the first time Ive really needed help with something, and the first time i havent gotten any response to a post.
Do i keep trying to fix this before the deadline on Sunday? Do i say fuck it and rewrite the xml in C# to meet my needs? Is there another option that i dont even know about yet?
I need a dev duck of some sort :/42
Visual Studio test adapter was failing out during the discover phase of the tests with a stack overflow exception, but that's all the information it gave me. The tests simply would not run.
Hunting through the code line by line, I eventually find this.
WHY IS THIS ALLOWED TO COMPILE4
The reason I stick around at my current job is thanks to a mentor who has helped me reach greater potential.
He's our senior architect.
It began with him simply bouncing ideas off me. I was a rubber duck basically. After a while I began to understand these ideas. All sorts of design patterns, cache invalidation problems and solutions, and so much more.
It was almost as if through osmosis that I began to research things and learn more and more about topics I had only barely seen in high-level articles and papers.
Once I began to contribute to the discussion, he helped foster that. I went from being a rubber duck to a protege.
My pay here isn't what it should be. The problems we're faced with are stressful and often times wear me out. I stay because I'm self-taught and I yearn for learning as I always have.
This isn't just my job, but my passion. I love what I do, and I get up happy to come here every day knowing I'll learn something new while doing what I love.1
Remember how my course paper used a de duck image?
Asked the writer about it, apparently he wasn't aware of devRant and that devducks were a thing (he did know about rubber duck debugging).
He just took the image from Google and after I explained they were real he ordered a couple :D4
I present to you the rubber duck I use for debugging.
that's right I dont have one. I just to talk to myself really. but what's curious is that when I do this, I tend to cock my head to a side, or turn slightly in my chair as if I was talking to someone just behind me. I didnt realize I was doing this until my cousin pointed it out to me coz it was creeping her out.
let me also mention that I used to have an imaginary friend growing up. his name's Jesse. I dont know if it really is just a weird mannerism or maybe I was still subconsciously talking to him.4
You know what, let me jump in on the "I hate PHP" bandwagon.
A couple months ago I upgraded my mail servers unattended. Roundcube got fucked for a couple of months, and I figured.. fuck it, I can still use Dovecot for authenticating with desktop mail clients like K-9.
Recently I unfucked it, turns out that it was an issue with the sock file in php-fpm. That's also when I noticed that PHP apparently hardcodes in its current version in the bloody socket file. Because why the fuck wouldn't you? It makes upgrades so much fucking easier!!! Said no fucking sysadmin ever!!!
And today I upgraded one of my mail servers to Ubuntu Server 18.04, finally, after a lot of hesitation. Bad decision, because now PHP got fucked YET AGAIN.
Again an issue with socket files? I have no fucking idea. systemctl shows no failed services (because you know PHP, why would you fail your service with an error message instead of throwing a meaningless 502 Bad Gateway, right?!!) and looking at the config files, well the socket file got its new php-fpm 7.2 file (still got the fucking version number hardcoded in) and thus I changed that socket file location in /etc/php/7.0...
devRant may just have been my rubber duck.
WHY THE FUCK DO YOU STINKING FUCKING PILE OF SHIT CALLED FUCKING PHP KEEP THE FUCKING 7.0 DIRECTORY OUT THERE WHEN YOU'VE UPGRADED, WITHOUT EVEN HAVING THE FUCKING BALLS TO RENAME THE MOTHERFUCKING DIRECTORY TO 7.2, IF YOU'RE GOING TO HARDCODE IN YOUR VERSION NUMBERS ANYWAY?!!!!!
Bloody fucking pile of fucking junk!!!!18
Holy duck, I lost two days on a convolutional autoencoder splitted in two separate neural networks to encode and decode separately, it reconstruction had some strange behaviours. I was giving as input an image and then saving the encoded compressed representation in a new image, in this way I could decode it with the decoder whenever I want saving space.
How much retarded am I?
The internal layer's weights hadn't constraints so in learning phase the convolutional filters can contain any number, positive > 255 or even negative and I cannot save it in a new image as they are so they were clipped automatically between 0 and 255 with an huge information loss.
It's so frustrating when you rewrite the code in any possible way, you obtain the same wrong result and then you realize that was a borderline behaviour of a third part library.1
Not a rant because life is fucking amazing... but..
I deleted my Facebook account. I can't fucking believe it. I have a bagazillion people following me and my booze fuled horseshit rants, photos of hamburgers and cats.
I fucking did it.
Omg, delegation to others feels like the last, most difficult skill to master. Letting go can be so hard.
Patience, me. Patience.3
I'm lazy as 🦆 duck
If I want to implement a new functionality I'll just look for a library for it, rather writing it from scratch6
Created utility for installers..
Pressing Ctrl+Alt+D opens a new window with Duck Hunt game in it..
Did this about 6 month ago.. Used it today myself.. got stuck for an hour..3
So random thought.
How many ducks do @dfox and @trogus have laying around their houses?
I was just looking through the store, adding a duck and a stress ball and maybe a hoodie to my cart. I then realized that each item has a real photo or two attached to it.6
This rant covers a lot of topics very quickly; a Lenovo and a Facebook rant. I had a unique experience today:
I realized I missed the launch of the thinkpad 25. Looking at it, I have to say I could not be more disappointed. I had a t41, a t61, and a t510. The 41 gave out from the dreaded graphics chip solder joint failure, and I sold the t510 because it was awful. I still use my 9 year old t61 to this day.
The thinkpad 25 didn’t have the latches, the good chassis design, didn’t have thinklight, had a crappy version of the keyboard everyone wanted them to bring back, had the worst display in recent history, was touch screen for no reason, and worst of all shipped with an nvidia card, a chip that has no free driver, especially when Intel iris OUTPERFORMS that nvidia chip the chose. How disgustingly disappointed I was.
I was so disappointed that I literally in a fit of rage decided to see how the surface book looks.
I searched on duck duck go, and then clicked a link to the Microsoft website. To my shock and HORROR, it said the server at Facebook.com cannot be found. That’s because I have Facebook domains blocked in my hosts file.
HOW FUCKED UP IS THAT THAT FACEBOOK IS DOING CLICK TRACKING SOMEHOW THROUGH EVEN THE DUCK DUCK GO LINKS? If you don’t think this shit is real you are stupid.
And of course, surface laptop looks great... until you try to get 16gb of ram which is non negotiable IMO, then it becomes more expensive than a MacBook Pro. Guess we’re going back to old faithful Apple.6
So... do you actually talk to a dev duck like you would to a normal person, or do you just imagine talking to it?8
I was flash developer once, it was great when macromedia was around, then adobe acquired them, now flash is gone.
Years are passing and most of industry is the same as always. Trying to drag you into this rat race of learning new amazing technologies, amazing projects that are actually doing same job as 50 years ago but using more memory and cpu cycles. Because all has it’s roots in algorithms from previous centuries.
So youngsters loose your best life time, be innovative by doing nothing more then copy paste from stackoverflow and duck typing shitty code.
Be a slave and sit in the amazing office, that has everything but not your real life that meanwhile is sucked by corporate squeezer till your last breath.
Be piece of shit that can be kicked around.
Watch youtube, facebook, instagram or whatever social network that shows you pictures that are fooling your mind that you’re someone special and you need this stuff.
Then be ready to suck some dicks to earn money and buy stuff you don’t need, live where you don’t want and do what you don’t like. You piece of shit.
Well that’s what disappoints me from my tech stack.
Now chill out, turn off your electronic gadgets, go out and enjoy real world.2
Fuck my life!!! Fuck it right hard!!! My fucking compiler (the one I code) fucking broke down, and i have to put it to competition it two weeks... Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck: obviously Iost backup and gitHub doesnt seem like wanting to give me that version back... Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck duck!!!!5
Yes, I have to admit, sometimes Linux is a F*KING B*TCH.
I was supposed to fucking format a pc for a close friend of mine, cause he produces music and win 10 fucked his machine up with its broken updates.
Knowing the guy is a talent I promised that by 7PM the pc would be fixed.
Not really, I'm feeling the stupidest guy in this fucking earth, cause I've been here for 2 hours, fucking trying to extract an ISO image, and nothing on this fucking planet seems to work.
Tried the graphical archives, none open de ISO, tried 7z, it gives me an error, tried fuseiso, which is recommended in Arch Linux' documentations. Doesn't work. Tried mount - o my file.iso /mnt and it says /mnt isn't in the fstab file which makes me even angrier cause I always mount everything there without editing shit. So I installed 7-zip for windows in wine, it extracts until 90% and freezes. Now I'm trying hsuebrirbwkwpxjhw9shrbejejwke and my mouth is foaming and my ear is bleeding my brains out and I don't need you shit.
Fuck you, Fuck your goddamn ISO and Fuck this faggot ass spell checker, that changes Fuck to duck and assign to asset.
Fuck it, I ain't gonna format anyones pm anymore.20
I'd like to share with you guys the fact that I had one of the greatest Christmases ever!
This includes having randomly received this debugging duck from someone that had no idea what it would mean to me, but also meeting people who brought 4 dogs to the family reunion (I am absolutely in love with dogs)2
I just spent an hour troubleshooting an error message which I perceived to have some kind of abstract meaning.
Overthinking idiot, it couldn't have been more literal.
After the fix to one stupid line, I quietly watch that hour of my life sail away on a sad river of anguish, never to return again.4
I heard you guys do rubber duck debugging or something.
So I remember, several months ago I visited some town and bought this Ganesha (Hindu deity) figure from a local store.
I decide to put it on my desk until I get my rubber duck.
And surprisingly, I don't swear a lot today... Probably this god has just fix my manners....9
devRant community!! My little brother brought me my rubber duck!! (it's not reeaaally a duck.. it's more like a watermelon, and it's name is "senor Sandia"!)
I've lost it a couple of months ago.. but NOW I CAN BECOME AN AWSOME CODER AGAIN!! (or just keep trying.. xD)
sorry, but I had to share it with you!5
[serious] I'm a Windows guy. Been so my whole life. devRant community, I'd like to start playing around with Linux. As someone who has never done that before, where should I start? We're talking total noob. Thanks in advance.8
What are the odds of a game studio's co-founder starring a R18 decensoring GitHub repo? Welp. Today one did. And I saw because I found his GitHub after Googling (I switched to Duck in September). Welp. This is gonna be embarrassing for the guy. Whoops.
Repo is DeepCreamPy btw if you're interested in "researching how it works".5
During the summer I was part of a three person brand new software team. One of my co-workers had a rubber duck, and explained rubber duck debugging. I brought in my own duck and it turned out to be identical to hers. On the last day I left my duck there with my other co-worker, so now they will both have ducks to talk to when nothing works! 🐤🚫🐛4
Alright, the Internet has failed me and even the mighty Amazon is proving useless in my quest for a new laptop bag. I request your aid brothers!
My old targus backpack has died a death and I need a new bag. I would prefer a messenger bag/cross body bag of some kind with enough space for a small laptop, a book, notepad, water bottle, mouse, tablet and all of the other pointless necessities I may desire (gotta carry the rubber duck somwhow) but my search and returned nothing but fancy stylish "slimline" bullshit.
I NEED PRACTICALITY AND WATERPROOF GOD DAMN IT!
Can you help a fellow nerd?9
Well, so I finally got 200 ++s, and now I can finally...
Wear vests! Uh... so that's cool... XD
Anyway, I just wanted to thank everybody for being such a good sport, around here... I've not been here for a long time, but I already feel like a part of a big family, of developers (and, why not, also non-developers...), and that makes me so happy.
In the end, devRant is like one of those rubber ducks developers use to tell things, I guess, lol.
It's just that. devRant is a rubber duck.
And every one of us is making that rubber duck bigger, and bigger, into something so unique and cool...
Something you can talk to (or rant to, I guess haha), something you can express all of your feelings to...
And inside of that rubber duckie there are... all of us. Hearing these rants from developers all around the world.
In the end it's really the community the most important part of... every thing or project, really, whatever it is, online or offline.
Keep on ranting about whatever you want, if you feel the need to...
I hope to hear more about all of you.
Thank you, all of you. I mean it.
Especially you two, who made it possible, @dfox and @trogus.
...devRant is such a cool project.
I sincerely hope it lives forever, it deserves it. You deserve it.
Again, thank you!
I love you all, good devRanting! 💙8
Got a rubber duck for christmas, and it reflects my personality perfectly. Some mean debugging ahead... *mwahahaa*5
Spent all day refactoring lots of confusing code down to just a few lines. I am satisfied, frustrated and drained all at the same time.3
People here working your own business or side hustle:
1) How long have you been doing it?
2) What kind of tech stack do you use in your product(s)?
3) Are you happy with your business endeavor or has the grass become greener elsewhere?
4) What is the most important thing you have learned from it that you wish you knew when you began?5
Did anyone else follow the epic duck twitter battle between museums around the world?
Seems it was started by The MERL: https://twitter.com/TheMERL/status/...
A nice summary: https://mashable.com/article/...
I agree completely with the one tweeted response in the link above:
"Honestly seeing museums flex over ducks in their collection is the kind of energy I want from 2019" (https://mobile.twitter.com/hannahke...)
I HATE the idea of only releasing on pre-determined schedules despite work being completed and just waiting for that day to arrive.
I'm a co-founder of a small software company. We have partnered with another particular company that also writes software. Some of our clients have access to paid content of that company's services through our application.
Every once in a while, our clients will report issues with that company's service to us, because they access it through our application. They think it's our issue.
We then pass the report on to the partner company, telling them that their stuff is broken. Their reply goes like this:
"Ok. We'll get the bug fix scheduled, and we'll release it next Thursday."
"Next Thursday? The issue is now, they can't use the service."
"That's our scheduled release date."
We voluntarily walked away from our safe, cushy jobs working for other people, taking enormous pay cuts to start this company. Now, we're 6+ years in, disrupting established fat-and-happy competitors in this space. I GUARANTEE you that if we had that same attitude, we would have been absolutely obliterated early on.
We are quick. Guided by kanban boards, our suite of unit tests and integration tests is vast and kick-ass. With continuous integration and the click of a button we know if we broke something or if the piece we're working on is ready to be pushed to production, IMMEDIATELY. Our "release schedule" is when the damn thing is complete.
It isn't all bad. Our integration with them has been beneficial for both of us. I just loathe their snail's pace which negatively affects our mutual customers. It can make us look bad, and we can do nothing about it.
I gotta say, the shirt is very soft at first impression. Plus FREE STICKERS!!!
The duck is nice............ oh meh gurd it sqweaks!!!!! (Follow up on it soon)
Altogether very pleased. :)
Things I learned in this 2 month training in an IT company ;
- the way @marcerisson wanted me and my group project team to use Git (and kept yelling at us about ) is actually the proper, professional way of using Git
- there is a difference between an MVC model and a fucking pack of overcomplicated spaghetti code
- commenting your code and naming your variables properly IS IMPORTANT especially when another dev might read it 15 years later (i see you Mr I Name All my Variables With the Name Of the Function and A Number)
- « if it worls it ain’t stupid » also apply in a professional area
- where ´s my fucking rubber duck2
Try to finish some of the projects I've started in 2018. Right now I have a todo list text file, along with multiple written lists (the written ones are more focused on a single project normally).
-Finish the startpage I've been doing off and on for at least a month now. I ended up making a lot of it command based (just need to write the scripts for the commands..). I had a little config menu but I just got tired of it and the text box is autofocus anyways, so I figured I'd make it command focused.
-Nice little root safety script as I call it. I've made very stupid mistakes as root before. I once made a typo and ran "chmod --recursive 644 /" while half asleep. I believe I was trying to run that on the current directory I was in, but as you know, the . and / are right next to each other. Basically the script would see what you're doing and echo "you're about to do x, are you sure that's what you want to do?". Something I know I could knock out in a day, but I've been putting it off for at least a year now.
-Compiling notification. I saw something similar once a few years ago, and it was so fucking cool. I remember it being a Mac, and it had a notification that would basically tell you how many files and shit you had left to compile if you were building something. Kinda want to build something for polybar.
-FUCKING RUBBER DUCK DEBUGGING TO THE EXTREME! This one was inspired by a comment someone made once months ago. Might have been here, or reddit, or in real life, not sure. Basically a big ass fucking rubber duck with LEDs in it that will like glow red if your code wouldn't compile (I think Visual Studio has like an automatic error detecting thing in there?? Maybe something similar if I can figure that out). Honestly not sure how the fuck I'd do this one, but I love the idea and I really want to fucking do it
There's more shit. These are just the main ones I want to attempt sometime in the near future.
It’s my “duck” in a box!
Would have paid extra for the DevRant devs to sign my duck 😂 @dfox and @trogus.
Thanks for keeping new and exciting things compiling in the community, I think I speak for everyone when I say that we’re lucky and proud to be apart of it!5
As a developer the only way I know how to spend my lunch is by lifting weights until I’m nearly crying blood. All the sitting, contemplating, reading and collaborating tunnels me directly into a toxic pit of my own compulsive disorders. By 12 pm I am near ready to put my fist through my cheap cubicle siding, squeeze my rubber duck till its head pops off (no pun intended I swear, stop it!) and more then anything ready to find Brendan eich, wherever he resides and beat him over the head with my new MacBook that would equate to smacking him with a plastic ruler. However, After screaming my way through a self deprecating hour of of lifting weights my mind is restored and all is made right in the world. Eich goes back to being the 10 day genius behind the language that’s redefining my career field and my alcoholic colleagues become more then tolerable. Some people take a pill. This is my pill.11
I see it evolving the same way it always has done. The technology will keep changing for the better and the best stuff will emerge on top.
You have a choice to fight the current of new technology that is always flowing by learning and adapting to what comes. If you don't, and you stay stagnant with your chosen tech and skill level, the current will eventually carry away your relevance.
It's natural selection. You have to fight or die.
Notifications are not being sent from github to slack. Ok. Looks like that legacy slack github integration that has been telling us its no longer supported for months has finally been deactivated.
Fine. I'll cave and upgrade all 45 of our repos to the new integration.
Thousands of clicks later, finally done.
"Notifications still don't work?"
That's when I saw this notice on github.
FML I want my hour back.3
If it walks like a duck and talks like a duck, it’s a duck, right? So if this duck is not giving you the noise that you want, you’ve got to just punch that duck until it returns what you expect. -Patrick Ewing2
I've shown my devDuck to other people in my school. At first, they did not understand but I initiated them to how a ducky can be useful and now they're playing with my duck (yeah, duck) and they're so noisy I'm going to regret it1
Vacation starting tomorrow! I'm going to BlizzCon! How much do you want to bet I will be roped into doing some emergency work while I'm there??4
Would it be possible to extend the shop with a perl rubber duck? I feel left alone as one of the few perl coders here... everyone seems to be using php and python etc.
I'd probably be willing to pay more12
In my absolute lack of genius, I just lost way too much time finally realizing that in C# linq-to-objects removes duplicates when you use Union().
At one point I knew this, but I forgot about it because I never want duplicates, slowly forgetting what Union() was doing.
*This time* however, the duplicates are required and it all goes to crap without them.
Save me, Concat()!
You can run but you can't hide from noobery.
Day 2 of trying to get SQL database to work with JDBC application.
I've built a try/catch method and it throws up the message that IntelliJ can't find the JDBC driver.
More research to be done. My first officer duck buddy has no input for me.
It's going to be a long day.17
Who the duck designed the common app interface? It's bloody awful just straight up awful. Why do you have to click out and then click back in to delete your previous search? Like wtf. Also when they ask for parents' country of birth but it isn't on the drop-down lousy because it didn't exist. It just looks like some lazy programmers did the bars minimum not caring about how it'd look or be to use because yknow duck that. Wow ok I'm done.1
Not exactly vacation, but there was this nice-to-have feature in our application that I coded up in the hospital after my wife gave birth to our son. I wrote it during the downtime while they were both sleeping.3
When I hit the endpoint from Postman it works. When I hit the endpoint from my application that pushes data to the endpoint it doesn't work, returning a 404 status code. I KNOW the endpoint is there and operational and that both Postman and my application have the same endpoint configured, letter for letter.
So lost. So confused. What the hell is going on.
I decide to install Fiddler to monitor the traffic to see if I can see anything helpful.
I initiate the request again from the application and immediately see that the request size is huge. BAM. It immediately hits me, the payload to the endpoint is too big and the server is "rejecting" it with a 404. I post a smaller request with the application and it works fine.
Yay, saved by Fiddler.
Why does the endpoint default to 404 in such scenarios. The definition of 404: "the client was able to communicate with a given server, but the server could not find what was requested"
In my case, the 404 returned was a red herring. I understand that the substatus code gives more information on why the 404 was returned, in my case the request size being too big, but 404 in general feels like the wrong status code to return because the endpoint IS there. It made me troubleshoot the wrong thing.
Someone at my work actually got a rubber duck and him talking to this duck (himself) is really annoying at one point someone got over there and solved problem for him lol seriously, who actually says it out loud?3
But the best was the debug mode: the characters would be printed, but a yellow duck would appear from the left and eat them in Pacman style.1
Holy fucking monkey nuts my boss is such a cunt, he is soo damned ignorant, for some who worked in dev for 20 years, to tell another dev that is easy, should only need to change a few keys in order to be able to completely rewrite 6 months worth of work. Poor bastard was soo pissed he finished a whole bottle of whiskey.
I made him work from home today, we not really meant too, because you know, Developer do not do work if their duck dick of a manager is not there watching, and well it makes it a lot harder for him to make rediculously, moronic requests like that over slack.
Part of me was genuinely afraid he would same something equally moronic and said dev would try and kill him, which would put the rest of the office and the awkward position if having to help. Really complicated to cover that up and then get the stories straight and iron out the alibis.1
Working with a SOAP endpoint. I know it is some .NET server due to the style of stacktrace on exceptions. Nice, a framework where I can expect some type safety granted by static types. I build some xsl to transform the SOAP wsdl files into classes and structs to interact with the endpoint. Works out perfectly.
Elements which are defined in the xsd/wsdl with maxOccur=unbounded and minOccur=0 should represent a simple collection of this type. Therefore does my implementation expect a collection of this type. But no. The shipped SOAP client in my stack ignores the definition and simply deserializes the SOAP response into T and not a collection of T.
Where the duck are the types when they are defined all over the place?2
Test A succeeds when run solo. Test A fails when run in conjunction with Test B. Obviously, some kind of messy state that isn't isolated per test.
I realize what it is, so I add a new feature to address it.
Test still fails, it had nothing to do with that.
I finally realize what it was. One liner fix.
Yay for a new (useless?) feature that isn't getting backed out.1
On the days when I just want to sob and put my head through the monitor....
I get out a piece of paper and draw my processes (whether that be code or mapping etc). Each step of each process, helps to represent the input and output of each method.
This makes it easier to find which step isn't giving the desired output....
Either this or the rubber duck method. :)
To me, writing authorization code for securing APIs is like having to fold an enormous pile of laundry and actually putting it all away afterward. It needs to be done but I'm not going to enjoy it.3
I got a rubber duck that can say what my code is doing wrong! Well, actually it is my brother that just gives me advice on how I can make my code work lol1
My family literally knows nothing about development, programming, computer science. It's bad. The closest anyone in my family has come to understanding is a distant cousin, who is an IT lead in Healthcare. His mother told him to call me because some fucking piece of shit at his job purposefully mucked up an internal ASP.net app on his way out. Sure, I had nothing better to do than to phone debug your shitty app with zero context. Great.
My wife is the one who comes closest to understanding in my immediate family* but even she admits when I come home ranting that she has absolutely zero idea what I'm saying.
It great though because I get to use her as a living rubber duck that just stares at me with a blank expression. Then at the end of describing a complex problem I'm trying to sort out she just replies with some encouraging thing like, "I'm certain you'll figure it out."
Fuck this is a long rant. Sorry. I better get back to work.
About half the chats with my line manager is just me being a rubber duck equivalent to him.
M: Can you implement the stuffity stuff like I asked?
Me: *starts typing*
M: Oh nevermind it was cached
People posting their (not so good) workstation. Post it if you code on 3 widescreens, 9 monitors, a gaming rig or if your debug duck is a ducking (pun (maybe)) dragon.
A laptop on a 10 inch table is pretty sad.3
I did not fully understand dev ducks untill my project partner said I used him as a dev duck. I wonder how long it would take until he gets me one.
I'm in hospital now and pretty much can't walk to toilet so nurses gave me this thing that you can relieve yourself in. Guess how they call it. A DUCK. ARE YOU SERIOUS? I'M NOT GOING TO TALK TO THAT THING.4
The annoyance when you type something and butcher the spelling of a word so bad that not even spell check has any clue.1
Need to change host for my sites, but no money for a good one. Trying to put everything in one cloud (5 USD) but... How the duck can I create a mail server with multiple domains?
A good fight with postfix, dovecot... The first account, just to the sake of make it work, is almost working (I reckon)10
Okay, guys and gals... I need your creative minds. I need a concept for sort of a property manager for my game.. I have an idea of my own, feel free to tear it apart or throw it out the window.
So basically.. You'll no longer have one Computer System (and you wont instantly hit the login screen for that System on startup) Instead, you'll have a lot of things. They will probably only be represented using text and menu's (likely no 3D or 2D environments or anything.. Though, a setup like News Tycoon would be epic, but I think that would be too much for this game.) You'll basically start off with a small space (probably a basement) with x amount of free space. In that space, you'll need to add things like a desk, chair, and a laptop, or tower + monitor. You can also buy things like server rigs with a ton of space, but those are pricy and bulky. Each item costs X amount and takes up X amount of space. Also, you'll need a desk for a monitor (or multiples..) and other things.. (Like your rubber duck collection ;P JK) You can also rent and manage servers. (renting is more exspensive in the long run, but things on your server are not on your property. But, if you own a server on your property you can rent space to to NPCs) As well as manage your devices, properties, stocks, etc..
Also, there will be in-game time. Depending on how "comfortable" you are will determine how long you can stay up in a day. In-game events will take place later on at specific times so staying up (or not..) will need to be managed well. Especially if you're being targeted by a rival (NPC) hacker.7
FUCK ME IN MY INDICES.
FUCK THE GPUS IN THEIR INDICES.
I mean... I understand (roughly) why the meshes are sent to gpu in this form, but at the same time...
...there's a reason why first thing I did when I was coding my procedural geometry generation library, was abstracting away all of that stuff...
...sadly, as many useful things, when I was looking for that lib on the start of this contract, I couldn't find it. and I was like "doesn't matter, this is a simple thing, using the library would be just a lazy overkill anyway".
two hours of playing around with two fucking triangles, trying to figure out which indexes are pointing to the correct vertices in a list containing FOUR outline paths.
(lower inner, upper inner, lower outer, upper outer, exacly in this order).
i mean, yeah, it's actually pretty straightforward stuff... for someone not as dumb as me =D
you just have two offsets, one that jumps you to start of the upper path, another that jumps you to the start of the outer path, then it's just
0 + upOffset to get the vertex extruded upwards from the zeroth of the inner path, or
0 + outOffset to get the zeroth from the outer outline, or
0 + outOffset + upOffset, to get the one extruded from zeroth outer vertex...
and so on.
simple stuff, then you just replace the zero with loop control var, put them in the right order, and voilá! walls!
except... whatever, why am I describing in such detail, not necessary, you're not my rubber duck =D
in short, figuring out which fuckin vertex is which, when the list contains ...well, any number of points, and you need to plug the gap between last and first points of the paths, where you need to wrap around the list...
...has proven to be surprisingly hard for me.
funny how much I love doing these things with meshes, despite how bad I am at doing them, which makes me hate doing them despite loving it =D2
First, realize that trying to accurately estimate how much time something is going to take is akin to accurately predicting the future and that people who ask you to do it are stupid. Then realize that sales-oriented deadlines are the source of all that is evil. Then shift away from sales oriented software. Instead focus on selling existing features and new features on the roadmap have no deadlines, they're done when they're done. Then realize almost no workplace will let you truly do that because chasing the sale is all that matters despite the latest buzz word rhetoric. Then estimate enough buffer to give you a reasonable time to complete it without calling your abilities into question. Then finish it faster so you score points with management, but not every time because then they'll begin to expect it. Now you have leveled up in mind games, an unfortunate but necessary tool in the tool belt. Then hate on sales oriented software some more, rinse and repeat.1
tl;dr never heard about rubber duck debugging before devrant
i didnt worked with Yii fw in the past but we bouth a site written in Yii and i wanted to add a form but could not pass the model to the view so i went for a smoke with my roommate to think about it
"i have the view, i have the model, the action but dont know how to pass the model variable because its an existing view..."
"...it should be passed to the render function in the existing index action but thats written somewhere else, so if i could pass it there..."
"...i can write the action there and then i should pass the variable to the render function in the index action and goddamit, so thats how you do it, thanks mate!"
he stared at me like wtf? o.O
room mate debugging ftw!1
May IE burn in hell.
One time I was trying to get something positioned properly, and it worked on all browsers except IE. There was this little gap between two divs and I couldn't get rid of it. In desperation after hours of troubleshooting and lots of CSS attempts with no solution, I removed the whitespace from between the two divs in the HTML:
And voila! No more gap when looking at the rendered page.
FML I hate you, IE.1
I guess talking to a duck helps after all although my duck was actually writing an email to business explaining an issue I am having in a requested change.
Right before I hit send, I go... Ah I get it now!
That saved me from some embarrassment :)
My stress ball has been stolen!
I came in to work to an email alerting me to a bug in production. I copied the site to staging to work on the issue but I was unable to replicate bug. My rubber duck wasn't helping so I went to go bounce my ball off the wall when I realized I don't have a stress ball anymore.
I spent 7 hours working on the bug without a stress ball before finally fixing it. And now I'm ready to deal with the theft the old-fashioned way.3
Put this as a comment but felt that it needed a post of its own.
I ducking love my fuck (see what I did there ;P) He my little coding buddy, I gave him a little back story and everything.
This is Francis (although he insists its Frankie) He transpecied (a duck in a penguins body) so he always has a "short-man complex" little attitude all the time (unless its because he never gets a word in before I figure out the bug myself =S )
Going to go old school D&D. The more I learn in school, plus messing with code to improve my job at work, the more I feel like one of the Magi. The more I level up the more I can interpret the spell books. I may not be able to cast an amazing spell yet, but I can at least know when it is a good time to duck behind something because I fireball is coming my way.7
Lots of hate towards Microsoft, and they go and do something like this:
I'm excited for these features. With existing .NET Core you can compile console apps natively to Windows/MacOS/Linux. WPF and WinForms soon making it to .NET Core will bring the ability to compile native GUI apps too.
Oh, and .NET Core is all open source. It's a beautiful, beautiful thing.6
Son of a duck!
Why don't you just let me delete my account?!
>Please change your password
>We sent a code to your recovery email
*Signs in with the code
>Oops, can't load your emails temporarily
(And the first and only email it loads is "Find your right life partner!")
*On a quest to find the hidden treasure of the Delete Account link*
>Read this before you delete your account
>Continue to terminate your account
>Oops, can't delete your account for some reason, try again later
*Nothing else works on the page*
*One link works - Cancel*
>Sign In to Delete your account
Why is deleting accounts such a hard thing to do?4
Hey, what do you think about WTF capes for duckies?
Oh I'd put like three of those on a duck and the proceed to throw it at the people that displease me. 😇😈
DevRant issue: https://github.com/devRant/devRant/...1
After seeing many of these duck posts here, I want to show mine :)
Can someone tell me what it is with that rubber ducks? I got mine from a friendsome time ago :P2
So first day in the course (https://devrant.com/rants/2049071/...), the lecturer want's to tell us a joke but forgets the punchline...
While he is trying to remember, everyone is like "let's Google it" And proceed to open their phones.
So someone in the back says, what are you guys? Geeks? Let's duck it!5
Figured I'd play around with Linux for the first time. I followed instructions to create bootable flash drive. I then proceeded to lose an hour just trying to get Ubuntu to do something after booting from it. The welcome UI becomes unresponsive every time.16
I fucking hate laud people!!!
OMG you are like fucking 20cm from your friend and I can hear every fucking thing from across a 250 people room.
And that mother fking laughing is so annoying...I don't give a flying duck if your software is bugged you wrote that code shut up and solve it.
I'm trying to concentrate because there is an exam in 1,5h3
I play some ping pong and talk to other people about it.
Rubber duck is great but thinking human is a little better.3
I lost one of my 19 rubber ducks, and i can't find it.. It was a great duck, i already miss its squeaky sound :(4
Never realized how often I use rubber duck debugging until I learned there was a name for it ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°1
Kinda tech related, kinda scam related. I almost already forgot about this, but weekly rant topic reminded me of it.
I was visiting my parents, and my mom just told how she just bought stunning "medical device" for dealing with all kinds of things starting from acne to joints pain and migrene using some kind of weak radiation. Well what she told next was just too good to be truth, because she got it with big discount, for "low low" price of 2000, while normaly it's 2500.. that made me curious what the hell is going on for company just to discount that much. It was event promotion to make people buy their stuff without even thinking.. well after quick search I found same device manufacturers website with listing of official shops.
No, the shop that sold it for my mom wasn't in that list, why? Because in official shops prices goes from 350 to 600.. good thing that by law you can get back your money in 7 days and that I decided to visit that day.
And at the end of the day, quick search online saved money. Let that be a lesson to look stuff online before blindly buying. And for the love of duck, don't be like me, and show your parents how to look stuff online about these "too good to be true" things.
Does sending spam text messages really bring results? Omg, I bought a domain name once without paying for privacy and oh how I regret it. I can't imagine anybody ever being like, "Oh wow, thank you for reaching out to me with that product pitch, that's exactly what I was looking for, please, take my money!"
I want to purchase a rubber duck from devrant, but am not quite sure how long it is going to take before arriving to Nigeria. I can buy it from a local retailer in my country, but i don't want to, buying from devrant is my way of giving back to this awesome platform. @dfox have you shipped to africa before ?2
How should you approach someone and tell them they have been an victim of social engineering without being mean?
I was at an security conference today and watched a lot of speaks, and I must say that the atmosphere and the people around made it even better.
Here is one takeaway:
Does the security of IT has to be this depressing most of the time, like there is so many IoT devices, services, websites and critical infrastructure that has security flaws and all we can do is watch for now and say we are all fucked. Then try to lead the industry to better practices, like owasp (duck it) . Stop accepting and using shitty answers from SO that has security flaws (why learn something a way that is wrong in the first place?).
We need more awareness about IT security overall, how can one developer know that certain technologies can have certain vulnerabilities such as XSS, XSRF and even SQL injection if there is no information about it in among all shitton tutorials, guides and SO answers in the first place?
Lighten up! Being sad and depressing about these issues is not the best way to approach this! We need to embrace all steps taken towards better security, even the smallest ones.
Check out OWASP if you are not familiar :
Thanks for reading.
Duck! this sloppy whiny winnfsd.
Yay! Let's use state of the art Docker with a VirtualBox VM on Windows10.
Don't get me wrong.
The Docker containers in this VM doing a great job on performance.
But in the very moment a Docker container uses a mounted folder via the windows network filesystem, all hell is breaking loose.
Building a vendor folder using a composer Docker image with 84 Packages takes about 15 seconds when cache has been warmed up.
The same Docker command pointing on a folder mounted to Windows Filesystem with warmed up cache takes about 10 Minutes!@&&@""+&
And what is the duckin' reason for this delay?
Because every transfer of a teeny tiny file has to establish a connection to fat ass Windows OS and has to pass it's glorious "security" layer.
I currently working on a shell script which builds the whole vendor folder on a volume on Docker VM.
After completion, the shell script will compress the folder to one file.
This one file will be transferred over this god damned network filesystem.
Finally the script will unpack the compressed vendor folder in it's destination folder.
What year is it?!??3
My version of the rubber duck is Outlook. I start writing a mail to the PM explaining an issue with the domain logic and how I see multiple ways to resolve it, but not sure which one is better.
As I write the email clearly enough for him to understand, I end up knowing exactly what to do and I delete the email 😜2
So I was working with the Laravel framework and the Mollie API for selling products and accepting payments. I was working on localhost and get redirected to the thank you page when I got an error. Unsupported SSL request. So I was debugging and talked to my rubber duck. Two hours later I literally started over. But I got the same error for over 4 hours and was totally done. The next day I started up the project again and it worked, but got the error again when I came to the thank you page. What was the API doing: redirect to https. And when I fixed it to http it worked just fine.. I feel so FUCKING stupid! I wasted a whole day of work for nothing! Just a fucking typo. Really guys I feel so dumb and stupid!3
Sorry but whats the connection between rubber duck and programming?
Or porn and pornhub?2
Borrowed our designers desktop figurine / mannequin , i read somewhere that there is something called rubber duck debugging so i tried it but on a mannequin , honestly it works like a charm i have fixed a bug in the code thanks to talking to a inanimate object.
It’s another rubber duck story. I had trouble working with company’s legacy framework and had the senior developer (who is busy AF and practically lives at his work desk) come over to help me out like 10 times a day and 98% of the times I figured the problem out while explaining it to him. WTF can’t I pay more attention??
Shout out to rubber dusk. Rubber duck was a word while playing pictionary today. And I was the only one who got it right.
And people asked me how I knew that. And I said she is my best friend.
Me: I'm currently working an unfamiliar stack and need extensive searching to implement this or that, but that's ok, duck duck go and SO is my friend
Also me: oh look, [facebook/devrant/youtube/I really need to sort this unrelated shit right about now since I just randomly remembered it and will forget in 3..2..1../devrant]
I have 4 years professional experience at a small shop working on a web application for property and liability insurance. The application is ASP.NET with C# as the code-behind. I have a BCS and will finish my MSIS fall 2017. I have no idea why I have the degrees. I know that when I enrolled, it seemed like they would be a nice addition to an otherwise empty resume. I was lucky enough to land my first and only development job during my sophomore year of my undergraduate program. Is this enough experience to land a new job?
I feel like I'm learning nothing at my current job. The specs that come in seem very vague to me. When asked for clarification, there is often push back, and I don't know whether that's because I don't have enough experience to parse what the client means in the two sentence spec I got or if it's because the client does not actually know what they want.
I hate my current job. My productivity is low because I spend more time trying to figure out what the client wants and analyzing an 8 year old system that has 0 documentation. I know some of you will just say, "Suck it up" at this point, but I really want another job. The only thing I like about this job is that it's 100% remote. It also pays $60k a year, so a replacement should be at least that salary.
Most postings I see require professional experience of 5 years or more, and knowledge of other frameworks. I can work on getting knowledge of the other frameworks, but will have no professional experience with them. I don't live in an area with a lot of software development jobs, and the ones I see are for non-IT organizations that want 1 person to run a distributed system from 10 or more locations. A hospital system out here wants to pay $30k a year for a guy to be both software developer for new tools as well as the helpdesk and IT support guy that's on-call for four locations in the county. I made more than that before I got into the development industry, for less work, and would rather leave than settle for something like that.
I've thought about moving to somewhere near San Francisco or San Jose, but I have my daughter to think about. I have joint custody of her, and would have to give that up in order to move out of the county.
I like programming and using it to solve problems. I like designing architectures and how all the components will interface. I like designing and normalizing databases. I like taking part in coding competitions for employers that are well-known (Amazon, Facebook, Uber, Twitch, etc.), even though I often just place middle of the pack. When that happens, I feel like I'm an imposter in this industry.
I think I have the most fun just working on small projects for personal use. My latest is an assistant calculator for the game Transport Fever to figure out cargo throughputs per annum based on the in-game timing information. Past projects have also been small. Ones I could use in a portfolio are a sudoku solver desktop application, PC/Web game in Unity that is a 3D FPS remake of Duck Hunt that allows open world exploration but locks the camera's viewpoint for shooting events, and a building assistant for Rome II: Total War that maps out all the bonuses/perks of user-specified building combinations in provinces so users can record their long term building plans without using all their turns to see the final results.
I seem to be an unproductive, average developer who dabbles in projects here and there.
This is what I want from other Ranters. Just say something. I don't care if it is, "Suck it up and get better." It could be your tips for finding and securing a new position. It could even be empathy, if such a thing exists on the Internet. Whatever you want, just say something that will help get me thinking of what the next steps in my career should be.1
i got a dev!rant nostress ball, because i didn't have any serious rants and used the app for fun purposes.
edit: do you think maybe it can also help in debugging, although it's nothing close to being a duck.
Y'all have your rubber duck to debug, but I have my own technic: the SO debugging.
It simply consists as asking your question as you'd normally do, but while doing so, you still think about your issue, and how people not knowing your problem but still knowing about dev would react to your question, making you asking other related question (SO's related question might also help).
IMHO, the most important part is the "related" question, that helps you to think outside the box. It makes your problematic progress a lot, and has the gift of not making you loosing any hope ; and if you ever block for good, your question will look less silly than at the beginning
Mfw my mate starts talking code and I zone out, only to zone back in on him asking my opinion... then he suddenly figures it out before i have a chance to mumble bullshit.
'Thx for being my rubber duck m8!'
I truly was.
Is there a market for novelty ducks? I shared an office with a coworker so i cannot really speak to mine, i still got this one just for the sake of having one. It looked a bit different than the usual ones but its not exactly novelty, but it got me thinking...
anyway, i present you "standing duck with hat"3
SHIT FUCK I THINK I LOST MY VISA CARD
OH FUCK OH FUCK OH FUCK
IT WAS LITERALLY THE ONLY WAY I PAY (besides Bitcoin)
god fucking duck me in uranus, now I gotta pay money to get a replacement. Besides that, my parents are going to be pissed off, aaaand I might end up finding it somewhere.
I probably dropped it while pulling out my phone. I don't know why I thought putting it in the same pocket with my phone was a good choice. Just as I don't know if it was a good choice to learn Java
Anyone else use a rubber debugging duck or similar method?
If you don't know what it is, you talk to something explaining your code line by line. The best thing I can think to compare it to is when an artist flips their linework around to see the anatomy mistakes. It forces your brain to look at it from an outside perspective3
Just about 2 weeks after my new DevDuck came in, my boss told me that everything the external team wrote is shit and is going to be thrown out. Instead, we're going to rewrite the whole thing inside the existing middleware in Java. Luckily for me, I am also pretty comfortable with Java, though it has been about 5 years, and I know a bunch has changed. But I'm confident I can do the work.
I guess I need a new cape for my duck. Or maybe I'll just start a duck family.1
This place has fucking ducks everywhere. Duck is the new Cat here.
Why? What the fuck! If we want cuteness we should have images of http://rethinkrobotics.com/intera/ here. This cuteness will take over the world one day.
Probably, that's why! We'd all be sitting ducks. That's what this duck trend is signifying. Ah! I might see it now.
But, still! Fuck you duck 🦆!2