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Boot up/shut down(different os edition)
Windows:
......eh?....
......zzzz......z...eh?
......
.....
....hold up.....zzz
....eh? Oh right!....
......z.....ok ok I am here...what?
....z...zzzzzz
Mac OS:
........
.......
..eh?
...ok I am here wtf u want?
Linux (most distros)
....snores coke...what?I AM HERE LETS GO MOFOCKA
-----shut down
Windows:
Still eating glue...
....glue....glue....glue...
WINDOWS WILL UPDATE WHE...whst are you doing with that pillow shshuahahhaah..x___x
Mac OS
.....
..ok fuck u bye whatever
Linux (most distros)
Ok bye xoxoxo talk to you lateer
**dead**22 -
It's hard to use Google Voice when you're a bilingual.
Me *driving in car*: Ok Google, open Spotify..
Google *beep*: Không chắc chắn làm thế nào để Open Spotify (Not sure how to to "Open Spotify" - in Vietnamese)
Me: Ok Google, mở Spotify (same command in Vietnamese)
Google *beep*: Not sure how to "mở Spotify"...
Me *frustrated*: Ok Google, f*ck you!
Google *beep*: Không chắc chắn làm thể nào để "fuck you" (Not sure how to "fuck you" - in Vietnamese)
f*cking Google Voice :|7 -
So I just booted up my laptop.
WE'VE UPDATED OUR PRIVACY POLICY.
WE'VE UPDATED OUR PRIVACY POLICY.
WE'VE UPDATED OUR PRIVACY POLICY.
WE'VE UPDATED OUR PRIVACY POLICY.
WE'VE UPDATED OUR PRIVACY POLICY.
WE'VE UPDATED OUR PRIVACY POLICY.
WE'VE UPDATED OUR PRIVACY POLICY.
WE'VE UPDATED OUR PRIVACY POLICY.
WE'VE UPDATED OUR PRIVACY POLICY.
WE'VE UPDATED OUR PRIVACY POLICY.
WE'VE UPDATED OUR PRIVACY POLICY.
WE'VE UPDATED OUR PRIVACY POLICY.
WE'VE UPDATED OUR PRIVACY POLICY.
WE'VE UPDATED OUR PRIVACY POLICY.
WE'VE UPDATED OUR PRIVACY POLICY.
WE'VE UPDATED OUR PRIVACY POLICY.
WE'VE UPDATED OUR PRIVACY POLICY.
WE'VE UPDATED OUR PRIVACY POLICY.
WE'VE UPDATED OUR PRIVACY POLICY.
WE'VE UPDATED OUR PRIVACY POLICY.
WE'VE UPDATED OUR PRIVACY POLICY.
WE'VE UPDATED OUR PRIVACY POLICY.
WE'VE UPDATED OUR PRIVACY POLICY.
WE'VE UPDATED OUR PRIVACY POLICY.
WE'VE UPDATED OUR PRIVACY POLICY.
WE'VE UPDATED OUR PRIVACY POLICY.
WE'VE UPDATED OUR PRIVACY POLICY.
WE'VE UPDATED OUR PRIVACY POLICY.
WE'VE UPDATED OUR PRIVACY POLICY.
WE'VE UPDATED OUR PRIVACY POLICY.
WE'VE UPDATED OUR PRIVACY POLICY.
WE'VE UPDATED OUR PRIVACY POLICY.
WE'VE UPDATED OUR PRIVACY POLICY.
WE'VE UPDATED OUR PRIVACY POLICY.
WE'VE UPDATED OUR PRIVACY POLICY.
WE'VE UPDATED OUR PRIVACY POLICY.
WE'VE UPDATED OUR PRIVACY POLICY.
WE'VE UPDATED OUR PRIVACY POLICY.
WE'VE UPDATED OUR PRIVACY POLICY.
WE'VE UPDATED OUR PRIVACY POLICY.
WE'VE UPDATED OUR PRIVACY POLICY.
WE'VE UPDATED OUR PRIVACY POLICY.
WE'VE UPDATED OUR PRIVACY POLICY.
WE'VE UPDATED OUR PRIVACY POLICY.
WE'VE UPDATED OUR PRIVACY POLICY.
WE'VE UPDATED OUR PRIVACY POLICY.
WE'VE UPDATED OUR PRIVACY POLICY.
WE'VE UPDATED OUR PRIVACY POLICY.
WE'VE UPDATED OUR PRIVACY POLICY.
WE'VE UPDATED OUR PRIVACY POLICY.
WE'VE UPDATED OUR PRIVACY POLICY.
I agreed to all of it.
And continued my day.
Have a nice day everyone.
P.S no I'm not talking about emails10 -
Fuckin hell!!
Code works everywhere except at one client. Ok, I check logs & see something missing.. I go check the code that handles excel files.. try catch and do nothing.. great.. :/ ok let's log this shit to see what is not ok...
Insert logs, build, update, run.. now it freakin works o.O
11 -
Client: "I did not receive the email that should be send after that event. Please fix."
Me:
* Checks code - ok
* Tests feature in locally - ok
* Tests feature in production - ok
* checks values in database - ok
* 2 hours wasted - ok
"Please help me dear CTO, idk what else I could check or how I should even respond to this."
CTO: "hmm, the clients account uses a adminstrative email address for testing. Let me just check if it is in the mailbox."
*checks* "Yeah, that's the email you're looking for, right?"
Me: *experiences relief, anger, blood lust and disappointment at the same time* "Could you please respond to the client for me, I need a break. Thanks"3 -
A friend found this Microsoft link a few weeks ago. The background image is missing because it's been removed from imgur and it's still broken to date 🤔
https://microsoft.com/upgradecenter...
8 -
OK... OK... OK...
Today we reached another level of security for one of our MiniMac in the office...
sudo chmod -R 400 /
Oh... he was supposed to write ./ but he forgot the dot...
Now, even the OS can’t work...5 -
Everytime someone compliments me on my work all I can't think of is:
- ok,ok, shut the fuck up and give me a raise already.5 -
Just found this while trying to understand some code:
```
bool ok = true;
if(ok) {
// lots of code here
} else {
// even more code here
}
```
I thought this was worth my first rant...6 -
How to know a mobile game will suck
Opens game says need to download more data... Ok
22 files needed, looks pretty fast... all's good
#22 apparently HUGE file...
**feeling doubtful...**
**It's almost there.... done!**
Downloading file 1/34
**WTF... I see what you're doing now... ok I'll wait....**
Finally done... Ok loading....
loading....
black screen, loading?
still black....
（╯－＿－）╯╧╧
ಠ︵ಠ凸3 -
Product manager: ah ok I understand. So is the plan still to do xyz?
Me: .... STILL?? ... when was that ever the plan? .... ok when you said “I understand” what did you mean?3 -
I am watching a video from Google I/O when they said "Ok Google", and my phone turned on (though saying "Your voice was not recognized")2
-
Employer: "Welcome to your internship. We need you to code VBA"
Me: "Ok."
Me internally: "Oh. Visual Studio. Ok."
Me internally after 1h of coding VBA in Excel Plugin: "Burn in hell MS"2 -
I'm curious, is email campaigns such as 'constant contact' part of a devs job? new job wants me to be in charge of this and I could not think of a worse job I would like to do.
I don't even check my own email!
I hate social media and suck at posting anything besides random useless memes.
REALLY??! Email campaign????18 -
family: oh cmon, how hard it can be
me: what do you mean
family: youre just sitting in front of that pc all day
me: yeah, thats how we ...
family: youre not working! youre sitting in one place the whole day2 -
Me: oh awesome, wine 4.0 hit stable. Let's compile and see how fast we can break it!
*./configure && make*
Ok... Ok... It's been 40 minutes... Ok... Yep still going cool cool...
I think I need a new PC guys...10 -
ok ok I'll move it to inbox Google, you lazy ass company can't you make your won mail service to it by it self -.-
Must admit, those spam emails are getting funnier by the day
8 -
fren: do you have a date this valentines?
me: nah fam
fren: what u doin rn
me: [Insert technical explanation of Kubernetes here]
fren: [goes offline]2 -
Let's teach the class about security. OK *spends 1.5 hr teaching about encryption and practices* OK now students make a login page and just store the passwords in a JavaScript array....... *Facepalm*7
-
You give up romancing for some time because you're tired of getting mixed signals all the time. Decide to focus on programming instead and then shit like this happens:
3 -
Me: ok, time to archive this shit and publish :D
Xcode: ok. Archiving started
10min later archiving done
Publishing to app store connect,
5 min later, sorry, we can't publish this cuz u haven't changed the build number from 2 to 3¯\ _(ツ)_/¯
Me:😠ok, whatevs, let's do this, archive
Xcode: ok, archiving started
10min later, archiving done!
Me: click next to upload to app store connect, 5 min later...
XCODE: SORRY, U CAN ONLY PUBLISH ON XCODE GM'S TO APPSTORE CONECT
Me:😤 OMG, OK 3rd time is the charm...
So now xcode has started archiving, I hope nothing happens again 😬6 -
Joins Skype group dev talk
20mins in mutes microphone
Co worker mentions something I am working on
Me: starts talking for a minute
Coworker: randomly interrupts me, like legit no warning, he just started talking....
Me: wait what da faq
OH wait I'm not mute....
Shit -
Domain server goes down, it's the gateway and DNS too.
Ok I'll just remove the domain, it's been orphaned really since you went to the cloud.
Don't have local admin password.
Ok call old it company who set up gear
Out of business
Ok boot to Linux and reset
Usb boot locked
Don't have bios password
Call old it company
Still out of business.
Wait, can I just set manual ipv4 ? Ok domain without a domain controller... If it works it works.2 -
Me: OK, Google.
Google: Hi, how can I help?
Me: Open example.com
Google: OK, which browser?
Me: Google Chrome.
Google: Sorry, I didn't get you.
Me: Google Chrome.
Google: Sorry, I didn't get you again. Just say the name of the app.
Me: *Looks at the list and finds Chrome (without 'Google')* Chrome
Google: *Opens Chrome*
I couldn't reproduce it as the. Latest version of Google Assistant now opens the page in a WebView.
7 -
ummm okay?
Can't blame them really. Most of the people are too stupid to understand that they have to press okay to proceed.
5 -
"Ok, so if you want this thing to show up here you need to set this property, ok?"
Client: "Ok, but how about I just don't and complain that it doesn't work?"3 -
I don't wanna ask (insert search engine of your choice) but devRant today:
How would you define a
- nerd
- geek
etc
Is it an insult or status to be proud of?12 -
When you realize the Linux kernel overallocates memory like United Airlines overallocates seats on a plane.
But for some reason we're ok when Linux does it.. less ok for an airline. >_<3 -
Hm... Not a big follower on this issue but just a thought... at 3am...
master/slave: not ok
god/mortals: ok
parent/child: ok13 -
me: block all in&put connection
firewall: ok
me: open port 22 for local network
firewall: ok
me: enable firewall
firewall: ok
me: restart pi
firewall: allow me connect
me: open port 80 for local network
firewall: ok
me: open port 443
firewall: Oh! i have to block icoming connections on port 225 -
Is it OK to bludgeon the noisy, moaning, constantly negative 'devs' sitting opposite (and who deliver nothing) with my chair?4
-
So this stupid fuck whose react code is a clusterfuck of bugs just bashed me when I said Java is better then node because of reasons...
I was literally speechless while thinking if I should humiliate her or not.
Guess life will show her because I don't give a fuck. -
Install linux they said.
Ok, granted. I still want to dual boot with my win10. So ok, mint live usb, boot, begin install, freezes mid way.
Ok, try++5 -
Ok let's see. Who tha he'll created this code... Well well let's rewrite it. 8 hours later. OK now it is done. Let's see who to blaim... :@
O no!! it's me :( -
Pycharm could be a nice tool, if only it was not nagging about the professional version and the tools related to it so often. Shit can't even find the jupyter notebook crap. 🙄
NGL, open science feels like anarchy.13 -
Me installing software:
>Downloads installer
>Runs installer
>"Software installed, must reboot"
>Reboots computer
>Opens program
>"Not the latest version, must update"
>Uhm, ok then
>Click ok
>Update dialogue pops up
>Click next
>"Program is already open, please close program"
>Ok Fu
>Closes program
>Commences update
>"Update complete, must reboot"
Please kill me3 -
So matplotlib can do 3d plots. However, when you try to then label your axes...
plt.xlabel("protocol") # ok
plt.ylabel("volume") # ok
plt.zlabel("time") # error: no such method zlabel (ಠ_ಠ)2 -
TFW you are finally making progress on a project... and a ticket comes in. Ok, just knock that out... intern needs help. Ok, real quick, I'll help my man out... boss wants to discuss a new project. Ok... what was I working on?
-
C compiler : you have 27 errors and 35 warnings 😐.
Me : ok let's recompile it.🧐
C compiler : ok! You can go now🤣.4 -
me windows user is bored, start installing linux as dual boot. ok lets code in linux. proceed to install vscode. starts coding... ok lets save. permission denied. permission denied. ok lets use these sudo fuckery. says its not recomended #warnings. start googling. got answer in alien language. fuck me, back to windows then.5
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Started work in the morning, after a couple of hours was 90% done and would be clicking the checkbox on trello that task is completed.
Lol.
Found a bug.
OK, debugging time.
Spend an hour on trying to fix the simplest bug ever,( php was creating a file that had the contents but the wrong name)
At this point I was starting to get super pissed of cuz in 30min I need to go meet up with some friends.
LOL ok, fuck this shit, I don't want to do this anymore.
Made the bug into a feature that now you can have multiple authority(admin) accounts.
My teamm8 was like lol ok, we didint really need this but it will be useful so nice job.
👏GREAT MORNING:))))1 -
There must be a simple, reliable, compatible, battery efficient way to poll an api every ten minutes and send user a notification, right?
AlarmManager : Ok. But who cares about battery anyways?
Google cloud messaging : Ok, you can have battery efficiency. But who lives without Google anyways?
JobScheduler : Ok, but you need Lollipop. Which Android phone doesn't get updates? Oh wait, shit.6 -
I now leave my work IM status as "Away". It's the only way people leave me alone so I can get work done...*shrug* ☺1
-
me: clicks button run
program starts throwing out fatal errors
me: shhhhhhhh, whats wrong, whos hurting you?:'(
i sed the shhhhh part out loud, not even realizing it🤦♂️2 -
Use Linear gradient ...
No use rgba
Arghhhh...okay rgba looks OK...wait linear gradient is better...no wait
Hallelujah!!!!!2 -
Glad to know I'm not the only one making such mistakes.
Edit: says: "Say "null" or tap on the microphone "
-
Oh its ok Mr. "Senior PM"...its totally ok to take a week of PTO during crunchtime...a week before launch...that wont cause any issues at all....
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