😯😯😯

Seriously. My bullshit meter gets fired up quite often while reading tech media headlines.

"How to name your variables and functions so they can be understood by other humans" should be a mandatory lesson right after someone writes their first ever computer program.

Lol, only two years ago I saw a new TV show in which a developer is waiting for his code to compile. Apparently not everyone is ahead of the curve!

I was working as a contractor for a client who just got enough funding to hire a full-time dev. I lovingly referred to him as "Mr. Koolaid" because he was obsessed with whatever the newest hotness was and cried constantly about how the 3-year-old code-base didn't use The Next Big Thing(tm). This was my first interaction with him:

Mr. Koolaid: I'd like access to the github repository. My username is xxxx.

Me: We currently aren't hosting the code on github. If you send me your public ssh key, I'll get you access to the private server.

Mr. Koolaid: I'd like to access the github repository.

Me: It's not on github; send me your public key and I'll get you access.

Mr. Koolaid: Can we skype real quick? You don't need my public key to grant me access to the github repo.

*Mr. Koolaid proceeds to forward me github's documentation on adding users to an organization and the documentation for adding users to a private repo. The email is written in a very passive-aggressive tone.*

ಠ_ಠ

Rant about devRant.

I hate to see two types of posts:

1. “Haha, i added a WordPress existing theme and charged customer XXXX EUR”, “Idiot customer, I had cross platform app and I charged for each platform”, “lol, they wanted to negotiate the payment, I connected to backdoor and shutdown down their servers”
2. “Why does customer not trust our estimates?” “I told him he does not need to worry about this comparability”, “they are asking about security of the hardened server, are they nuts?

First you treat customers dishonestly and then expect them to trust you and rely on your expertise. Before you constantly complain about the customers - look at yourself guys.

Woke up this morning to a fucking giant snowstorm and my first reaction was 'fml' , poured some coffee , lit a smoke and started checking my work mail 'Issue xxxx response : Not solvable '...what the...I go through the files on my phone , look at what that issue was : lack of proper validation , filtering and encoding of input thus enabling xss . Not solvable my ass ...simply adding literally 3 more characters to that fucking retarded filter would stop all the bypasses . This issue is a showstopper for their project and that is what they answer ?
Sorry to indians out here but some of your colleagues are as stupid and unimaginative as they can possibly ever come .

Do real interviewers (I mean those who are smart and have some experience) still ask questions like "what are your weaknesses"?

Dumbass, why the fuck should I declare, not just to you but also to myself, that I have some particular weaknesses? I know what I'm not good at, and I'll keep trying to improve. But unless my weakness is that I get a massive boner during team meetings, you don't need to know about it. I'm not telling you. Just know my strengths - that's enough. If you're just following a standard list of interview questions that you didn't even come up with, stop pretending to be an interviewer for heavens' sake.

(Internal IT communication)
- Which one is the right email account for xxxx ? aaaa@ourcompany.com or bbbb@ourcompany.com?
- Yes, that's the correct one.

So my new car has now chevystar which is quite expensive, is fine and that, I don't really use it to be honest. Though it has a nice service to remember me if I'm on my 'no car day'-like with a google assistant -like voice.

But today while driving with my wife, we were listening music and the music stopped.

then, the fucking chevystar voice started:

"Remember you can get your new car now and start paying it in a year"

"Pay us a visit to your XXXX chevrolet dealer"

No I don't want your updates every single day, Windows 10. Maybe I don't want to be so edgy with your updates. May be I like it XP style when updates didn't used to bug me with every single boot up and power down. It has become even worse. Who thought defering updates to the next boot up was a good option? It fucking interferes with the flow of work. They were like -
"You know what, let's update till 35% and then fucking update the remaining 65% at next boot"
"But users will be frustated"
"We'll show the update screen with clean font and a nice background. It will calm them down"
"Okay, so let users choose when to download the updates"
"That's not a fucking option, mate"
And if you are going to force updates down our throats please fucking mention what is being changed as a short description instead of showing a 'KBxxxxxxx' update number! If not that, at least hyperlink the thing to your update docs page! OR Mention a version buff if not it! I HATE seeing 'Update for Windows 10 Version xxxx for x64-based Systems' EVERY. SINGLE. TIME I see an update ready to be downloaded.
And no I don't play Candy Crush, or other games that are pre-installed as soon as I re-install fresh Windows or go on Xbox App. I hate to do this ritual of turning off auto download from Windows Store every time. So please don't pre-configure anything for me. Keep it fucking raw. That's why Linux distros win.
I'm just saying, Service Packs were a great thing with a need of little improvements. You guys ruined the whole experience, Microsoft.

I fucking hate those cringy Indians commenting dogshit on almost every youtube video. Never have I even seen anyone more dumb than these retards. Almost every programming tutorial on youtube is infested with "plese sir pls teach me hw to hck i wnt to be a hckr" and "sir my phone no is xxxx and my email id is xxxx send me the cod plz". I mean even on css tutorial videos? seriously? No other third world country has such boneheads. I just hope each and every retard like this drops dead the moment they write stuff like this.

What if there was like a 1-2 day workshop that helped recruiters be more technically fluent? Like the basics of software development (not programming, but concepts and what engineers really do)?

What I can't stand is when someone "name drops" a company they previously worked at. Such as, "...back when I worked at <insert Xxxsoft>" or "At <so and so place> we did things differently..."

We get it, your résumé is impressive. But it especially peeves me when they've been working at their current job for over a year and still mentions their old jobs.

1. I also worked at <XXXX-place> and it wasn't all that impressive.
2. If it was SO great, why aren't YOU still working there?

Hi XXXX,

Thanks for speaking to me earlier,

If you could send me the following details we can really get the ball rolling with the recruitment process.

• Any jobs you have applied for or interviewed (I need company name and position)

This stops me re applying you for jobs you’ve already applied for

• Any key elements an employer has to have for you

• A name phone number and position held for references at your current contract.

If we can get these over asap then we can start the ball rolling and get you a new position in the most time effective manner.

Kind Regards,

Brainless Lazy Back-Stabbing Recruiter.

So today my colleague is installing new dependency to our react native project and do something cool with it.

Him: I already push it in new branch and make a pr, would you review and merge it to master.
Me: ok let me try first.
.
.
Me: it is not working, i get this error.
Him: try change these xxx in xcode.
Me: ok, wait.
.
.
Me: now I get this error
Him: hmm... Try 'react-native link xxxx'
Me: ok
.
.
Me: I get same error like first error.
Him: now try 'react-native unlink xxxx'
Me: hmm... Wait.
.
.
Me: I still get same error, what's wrong?
Him: I don't know, it's working in my mechine .

*Me 'git reset - - hard' and try to build again.
**After building

Me: hey it's working after I git reset lol.
Him: nice
Me: let me clone it and try 1 more time.

*after cloning and building
.
.
Me: I still get same error like 1st error hahaha.
Him: so try to 'react-native link xxx' again.
Me: OKkK
.
.
Me: still get same error
Him: try git reset and build again
Me: hmm
.
.
*after git reset and build again
Me: I still get same error. I think the correct steps is :
1. Clone
2. Do something in xcode
3. React native link
4. React native unlink
5. Git reset - - hard
6. Build

I can't stop laughing 😂🤣😂🤣🤣😂🤣😂

til : every 4 letter non english word is a protocol in networking

Not a rant, but a concern: should I make a bigger effort to take my picture off as many public places as possible on the Internet? I already use avatars for FB and Twitter profile pictures (share photos only in private). Or am I being paranoid? What do you do about it?

Free steam key for who ever sees it.
YKYW9-YR762-xXXx

<!> and it's gone <!>

Dear Customer,
Your account no XXXXXXXX is credited with INR XXXXX on XX-XXX-XXXX.
Info XXX Salary for XXXX.
Your Net balance is INR XXXXXX

This is a monthly message that brings smile on everybody face.

I heard a lot about phone scammers, every time I go to bank website I read message that they will call me and steal my money. I couldn’t wait to get my scam call.

Finally someone called me poorly pretending to be bank employee.

Scammer: We detected suspicious activity on your account, did you transfer xxxx amount of money to company yyyy ?
Me: Yeees ( waiting excited for more action )
Scammer: ….. thank you …… hang up

Next time I will try donkey sound.

I've heard all kinds of arguments for about how whiteboard coding interviews should be obsolete, and that they usually doesn't reflect how good you are as a developer. But I've been polishing my skills with data structures and algorithms for a few weeks (learning this stuff for the second time since years ago in college) and I get this feeling that I'm becoming a much better programmer by practicing these things. And having access to all these things in the "working memory" of my brain has made me now think of solutions I couldn't before. But then - it may be that right now I'm working on embedded systems so this efficiency matters much more, earlier while doing full stack web development I didn't care about these much except while playing with strings maybe. So it might be dependent on your niche. What do you guys think?

Code base is full of /*bug fix - XXXX */ coments, sometimes it feels the software is a Bugenstein's Monster!!
Not sure if this kind of comments serve any real purpose...

Commented old code is a more familiar monster; but that's a tale for another day.

XXXX programming language does not scale. Nope, it is your code. Review your code and improve it! Don't add more hardware to improve performance, that solution just covers the problem. Review, review and review

Is there actually a technology/framework/library everyone loves to use without saying "this should be like xxxx" or "they should have done it like xxxx" in a language?