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Search - "brainless"
"Coding is solving puzzles".
I think everyone has heard that platitude. But it's not exactly right.
So I grew up in a very poor environment, a moldy building full of jobless addicts.
And in my town there was this shop where super poor parents could take their kids to borrow free toys and stuff.
So as a kid I remember being frustrated by these second hand jigsaw puzzles, because there were always a few pieces which had been teared up or chewed on, or were even completely missing.
That is what development is.
You pull in this seemingly awesome composer package, and that one super useful method is declared private, so you need to fork the whole thing.
Your coworker has built this great microservice in python, but instead of returning 404 not found, it returns 200 with json key/value saying "error": "not found".
There's a shitload of nicely designed templates for the company website, but half of them have container divs inside the components, the other half expect to be wrapped in container divs when included.
You're solving puzzles, but your peers are all brainless jigsaw-piece-chewers. They tried to mend a problem, but half way through got distracted, hungry and angry, started drooling over the task and used a hammer to fit in the remaining stuff.11
I really hate this company.
The code is a disaster. Every single other employee is a salesperson. Nobody has any bloody clue what I do or how difficult it is. They don't care about stability (unless things are crashing), maintenance (until crashing), code quality (until it delays features), or anything apart from shiny new features they can sell. The boss (the king salesman, if ever there was one) doesn't know how to manage, but tries to by acting like his "nice asshole" self -- he's an asshole that gives you passes, makes sure it's bloody obvious that he's doing it begrudgingly, yet everything is still absolutely your fault. If he arbitrarily decides it's too much your fault, he stops being "nice" and flips out on you in front of everyone. That's a "nice asshole": an asshole who can barely even pretend to be nice.
And you know what? I really hate having to work next to these fucking birds, too.
Today was our weekly conference call, and I was both late and unprepared. I was too focused on my work, and got a ping 4 minutes into the meeting, so I obv didn't have time to prepare. Boss was also pissy today, and I didn't have much to show for my week, thanks to lots of little "OMG NEED ASAP" shit projects that all took too long, pushing back what I was actually supposed to work on. Which didn't get finished, of course, and today that project was "the most important" -- I suspect simply because it wasn't finished. AGADJFSKL. Cue the birds fucking screaming and never fucking shutting up no matter what I did. Blanket? No effect. Spray bottle? SCREAM MORE! Boss was yelling at me, the birds were screaming, and I couldn't think. Goddamn fucking disaster.
and yes, we have a macaw. A macaw and over 20 cockatiels. Said macaw decided today was a lovely day to just fucking SCREAM non-stop, and the tiels were doing their best to keep up. Thinking clearly during this cacophony? Not gonna happen.
Wait, "go elsewhere," you say? Somewhere quieter? Where is this "elsewhere?" We live in a fucking tiny house, and during the call it was (and still is) filled with sleeping people, and surrounded by a fucking desert. Who the fuck thought living in the desert was a good idea, anyway? Like, seriously. What brainless moron thought "You know what? This is a great place! Let's settle down right here," while trudging through the scorching sand and dust, looking at the basically lifeless horizon filled with large, hot, dry, dusty, barren rocks (aka "mountains"), and fucking dying from thirst? Probably someone so delirious from heatstroke they never actually recovered, and continued raving that it's a goddamn paradise to their heat-addled imbecile followers. I really hope they hallucinated a la-z-boy in place of a hedge of teddybear cholla and died an excruciating and prickly death. Fuck that guy/girl, too.
But I digress.
I seriously need an office that isn't a 30 min drive into gang-central. I'd work outside, but I live in the middle of the bloody fucking desert, and get heat exhaustion within about half an hour. Everywhere else in the house people bother me almost incessantly.
just. FUCKING FJASKLDFJGAG.
I HATE THIS PLACE SO SO SO MUCH.
'I've had such Zen lately,' Alex said. Maybe then, but lately? I've just been too exhausted and burned out from putting up with all this shit to get angry. Days like today? I could pour kerosene over everything and laugh as it all just burned to ash.17
Good fucking God non-technical iPhone owners are such a fucking cancerous group
"You're just mad because you're broke"
"Lol broke boy."
"That potato ass camera though"
"Shut up before I take your battery out."
Like fucking Christ what an autistic buncha fucking brainless monkeys. We should have a Holocaust for ignorant cunts like them.30
So... Just overheard a conversation at an Apple store...
The customer gets furious for not getting to buy a mac pro for the price he wants and it doesn't even include the monitor there.....
C - customer, S - Sales person.
C: Hey, I've heard that apple released new home computers. May I get one?
S: Hello, they are not out yet.
C: WHAT?! How can they not be out yet? They released it like a week ago.
S: Well, they announced it, not officially released it for sale.
C: Ah, whatever. Can I pre-order it now?
S: Sure, we'll need your details and a deposit.
C: What? A deposit for what? That $1000 machine?
S: Sir, do you know the prices?
C: Of course. They have released a new machine and it will cost like previous ones - from $1000.
S: Then you might be talking about Macbook Air...
C: *Interrupts* No, I'm talking about the desktop computer, the whole box.
S: Ok... It starts at ~$6000.
C: WHAT?! It can't be... Oh well, I'll buy it. I hope it's the fully-specked one. Oh and does it come with a monitor?
S: No sir. It's the base model and it has no monitors.
C: WHAT?! How can this be?
S: You see, these are devices created for professionals. They are not for home users since our iMac line is....
C: *Interrupts again* Are you saying I'm not a professional?
S: I'm sorry but by the questions and lack of information - it seems to be true - you are not a professional.
C: FUCK YOU, I'm going to another store and they will sell it for me for $1000. What a piece of crap is this.
*Customer leaves furiously*
S: *to another S* - What is wrong with that dude? Is he high or what?
S2: *shrugs* and tells that it's the 5th time someone came to order that pc and was scared by the price.
So yeah... It's fun to see how idiots think that anything apple releases is for them... Once again I was made sure that apple fans are brainless fucks that will buy anything it produces and if that is not in the right price - they'll get furious.
ps. I own apple product, mac pro 2015. Would never buy a newer one NOR an iphone. I don't think that anyone is dumb just for buying it - people buy whatever fits their needs and that's ok but... More than we would like to admit - people buy it because it's an apple product....28
In the span of a week, I:
* broke up with my girlfriend
* had to make a site go live for a client that wouldn't fucking cooperate and give me what I needed to get the fucking site live
* was given legacy code for a wordpress site that looked like what a fucking brainless monkey would type out by smashing its head repeatedly on the keyboard.
It can only get better from here, right?6
!dev && rant
Went to the café earlier today to buy some cigarettes, because the nearby beauty/drug store is phasing them out due to what according to the cashier I asked is because "we are a beauty store so cigarettes don't align with that philosophy!"
If they really stand for beauty, they wouldn't have employed you, ugly fucking bitch.
So, onwards to the café which I recall has a cigarette vending machine. Closed.
To the next one!
Me: "Um, do you have a cigarette vending machine?"
Some motherfucker who was drinking there: "You know, you could stop smoking and start living healthy-"
Me: "you know how difficult it is to stop smoking? ^^"
Me (internally): YOU FILTHY WASTE OF OXYGEN, THIS IS MY BODY, MY LIFE, I CHOOSE WHAT TO DO WITH IT!! Or are you divine oracle of knowledge about health somehow an authoritative source of advice?!
You know what that sounds like? It sounds like those fucking morons on every Windows rant saying "yOU sHoULd rEalY usE LenOx!!". Or the motherfuckers at every family dinner saying "I am vegan, therefore you shouldn't eat meat!!"
Same motherfucker: "Oh it looks like you're sweating too!"
YEAH YOU PIECE OF SHIT, I REALLY DIDN'T NOTICE THAT YET!!! IT'S 32 FUCKING DEGREES IN MY APARTMENT, MY ASSCRACK IS WELDED TOGETHER, YET YOU THINK THAT I DIDN'T NOTICE YET THAT I'M SWEATING?!!!
If only I could shoot them in their fucking heads and expose them for the brainless pieces of shit they are!!!31
Do something brainless.
Like taking a shit.
Hear music loud and dance.
Talk to people but don't listen.
Surf in the internet.
Take a walk.
And so on and so on.
Most of them are doable for hobby projects at home. Some are also suitable for work. Choose appropriately.
But if I am stuck, then continueing to try solve the problem most often keeps me stuck. So doing something else is my solution. So far it worked well.10
'help us to improve our service by making this idiotic survey which will be analyzed by our brainless monkeys'
What about fuck a toaster?5
So... Some fake accounts on Twitter claimed to be Elon Musk and to give shitloads of Bitcoin to those who sent a little amount first. They stole... Wait for it... 180 grand.
That's basically your everyday 419 scam. Existing since before the internet, done with the names of Gates, Buffet, Bush, Obama...
They say "the big bad evil criminals and the poor little innocent victims" I say natural selection. Sorry, in those lion vs gazelle scenarios I always thought that it was fair, no matter how it went.
Just when did humanity get so brainless? Have we always been, is the internet just a catalyst for stupidity?
Just why the fuck must I be an infosec sheepdog instead of a wolf? Man, I could live the life, drink beer and smoke herb while working... Get up at 12, don't give a shit, no boss, no taxes, no social security payments that I don't see jack shit from, and the pay would be better to.
Keep your fucking petition and readme only shit to yourself or those fucking petition websites, that everybody uses to fucking wipe their ass with, you fucking limp dicked piece of skunk shit
I am already fucking blocking all sorts of media not to hear about all your whiney fucking crap, now I have to also fucking endure your brainless fucking justice warrior bullshit all over github, all over rss feeds, all over fucking everywhere
go fucking get smoked by a car or go fucking overdose, for all I care, just fucking smear yourself all over a fucking wall, as long as you keep your fucking worthless opinion away from me
the fucking worst of it all is that every fucking shithead out there puts it up your face, even if you blocked a million of those fucking clones, then somebody that you follow or a website you visit, will fucking shove that shit in your face, github is not for your fucking propaganda18
So my client wants to stick with their current hosting provider (Bell) because the company is "big" and "won't go anywhere anytime soon." I just said, well okay it can't be that bad. Bell charges about 10x more and gives you about 10x less compared to other options, but it's not my money so whatever. Well, Bell has the absolute worst customer service. They have an online support form where I can type in my questions and they will call me within a day to help me. They called me during work hours and I missed the call, so they sent me an email to let me know I missed the call and gave me a number to call. I called and I might as well have called my dog because the support didn't even know what a .htaccess file is. I emailed them back and asked if they could forward my email to someone in the hosting department that could help (because the phone support I got was shit). I got a reply saying they "can't"... yup, they used the word "can't", they can't forward the email and that I would have to call. Is everyone at Bell a fucking dick chugging brainless pile of moldy-ass shit biscuits!? YOU CAN"T SEND AN EMAIL? Turns out they do have a dedicated hosting support email, let's hope the email I send ends up in front of someone at Bell who at least has a slight clue how to use a keyboard.3
Fuck I hate it so much talking to any of the hosting support chats, seriously questioned if it's some brainless bot talking, after I literally just answered his question (and ~3 times before that) and he asks it again2
It astounds me that people will actually pay thousands of dollars to come to a bootcamp and just fuck around...
Like we will spend an hour going over materials and concept and when it comes time to apply it and build something the kid next to me never knows what's going on! And then always asks me how to do it.
I tried being positive about it and be like hey if I can explain it to him...then that means I really know it!
Fast forward a couple weeks and I'm ready to strangle the kid.
He will sit on his phone playing games the whole time the lesson is going. Then when the lesson is over, put his phone down and immediately ask me how to do it...
The fuck!? Maybe if you'd just listen you'd know wtf you're doing by now you useless vapid brainless twatwaffle!4
I really don't understand how some it recruiters ever got their job... Brainless fucking scaredycat fuckwats!!!
Just finished a mission and i put myself back on the market, been flooded by calls and emails since monday, so far so good.
But all of them wanting you to 'come over the office for a chat', fuck no. 'I will come once a real opportunity gets presented, i propose to do video conference call as to not waste time and transportation'. But noooo... It's like they never heard of that thing being possible before. I propose them to use meet.jit.si (really cool and free to use videoconference software, no software needs to be installed)... 'Yeah sorry but your link doesnt work', 'how come? You just need to go to the url and grant cam and mic permissions for the session'... 'No it asks me to install software (not true) and i simply cant now ... Can you tell me who you are and what you do and what your field of expertise is?'
For fucks sake you got my cv right in front of you you fucking blind maggotpuss! Learn to fucking read!
Tomorrow is another, hopefully better day...
Glad to take that of the chest.2
Why for the sake of world peace can't Edge inherit "opacity" to children?
This drives me insane!!!11!!one!eleven!!1!!
Get you fucking turds together dear browser developers!
The whole webDev business gets serious crippling depression from your brainless way of pooping out what you call "browser"!6
How can I be so fucking stupid?
I was developing and testing a small webserver running on an ESP32.
3 fucking hours were wasted resolving connectivity problems because I did not realize the fucking VPN on my PC was still up thus hiding my ESP32's IP.
How fucking brainless...
I've cie ked everything. Dead flash, wrong offsets, compiler warnings, CPU freq. config...6
Recruiters call me and be like "I'm looking for a Python Developer to work in London with 5 Years of experience - Is that something you'd be interested in?"
I respond with - "Sure.. only if you can tell me where the f**k you found the word Python on my CV or ANYWHERE online."
1 - I've got ZERO experience in Python...
2 - I've got 3 Years experience in development regardless of being in anything Python related...
3 - I live 1-2 hours away from London...
Come on guys - Do you even read CVs before you blindly call? How shit are you!?
If I spent all my time calling candidates that had no relevance for the role I'm recruiting for (most likely to get call times up) back when I was a recruiter, my boss would have my nuts for lunch for making the agency look bad.5
The cleaning lady saga continues...
Had an appointment with their manager, stuff gets discussed and coordinated at a 3x slower pace than if I'd done it myself (as usual because fuck efficiency when there's muggles involved -_-), yada yada.
*mail addresses for contact start getting discussed*
Incompetent fuck of a manager: And you $realName, your email address is $email@example.com, then changed to $firstname.lastname@example.org? Mind explaining this?
Me: Oh yeah that's just because I give out different email addresses to each contact person when it involves public forms or registrations, helps with spam prevention and putting the company name of the correspondent in there helps with easy recognition when some company's database leaks and I start getting a lot of spam on that mailbox.
IFOM: Really.. we actually weren't sure whether we should reply to something with our company name in it.. you know, not sure whether it's legit etc. Why would anyone want to use one of our email addresses as theirs?
… Let that sink in for a moment. They think that $email@example.com is theirs? Just because it's their domain (minus TLD) in front of MY FUCKING DOMAIN? How about you start by learning how email addresses work first, because clearly you have no fucking clue about it. Are you the kind of brainless fucks that get lured in by http://totallylegitbank.com.freehost.com/... scams? Fucking stupid piece of fucking shit.
Oh, and when you're using MS Exchange, of course you can't know that when you're having your own domain, you actually also own every fucking mailbox on it, because Microshaft doesn't allow you to have more than n amount of mailboxes, unless you gobble up money for them. But you know what, in my case it's a fucking catch-all domain running Linux on its servers, so yeah I can use whatever the fuck I want in front of it, including your stupid fucking cleaning company.
IFOM: And then there's your current designated email address. $firstname.lastname@example.org..
Oh you're going to criticise that as well?! Yeah condor is my fucking nickname all over the internet, and my username on all my systems. That's why I use it. But you know what else is an email address that you might come across, because people are shallow idiots like that? ILoveBigTits69@gmail.com or something like that. You know what, how about I address you next time from ILoveBigTits69_OhAndYoursAreAWashboard@nixmagic.com, because you know what? I CAN FUCKING DO THAT. But you know, I at least am halfway fucking professional about my business-related stuff, so I won't because I really don't want to be associated with such an email address. So don't you fucking dare to criticize me for using my fucking nickname instead of my real name.
Long story short, people are fucking idiots.6
BLOODY FUCK TURD BORN FROM THE BACTERIA OF YOUR MOTHER'S POOP, BRAINLESS WHORE
. JUST ONE SECOND OF YOUR NON EXISTENCE WILL CHANGE THE WORLD FOR ME.
Well this is what I would say to my brain deficient friends who think I don't have a life and sit at the computer all day playing GAMES and that I should get away from my computer and learn to PLAY with them in real life
BITCHES DON'T EVEN UNDERSTAND HOW IT IS TO WORK YOURSELF A LIVING, ALL THEY KNOW IS THROW MONEY AND GET THEIR DICKS SUCKED OFF. FUUUUUCCK!! AND DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON THE GAMES PART. ALL THESE PUNY FUCKS CAN DO IS TO POST POUT FACES FILLED WITH DOG FAECES AND CRY ABOUT THEIR LOST LIKES.5
To all brainless fucking pests who somehow managed to pass their drivers licensing exam despite pitifully inadequate intellectual capacity:
If you can turn into your destination and be out of my way before I even reach the sidewalk, don’t stop in the middle of the fucking road and block up three lanes of traffic.
I can’t even count how many times this happens every fucking day ojnmy way to and from work.3
The piece of software I'm working on at my job just feels fucking stupid and brainless right now. I know it is not, I know it's working, I know it'll be actually useful to its users but I don't feel like that.
I usually go by telling myself "Most of the time I do like what I do, but sometimes it's just work that has to be done" - but for the last month or so it felt like my motivation is completly drained and not coming back fast enough. Just thinking about it feels like desperate, tired crawling on Legos.
On the other hand, at least I've got some motivation for my studies back which feels great.
*turns on the TV*
*pop-up blows up in my face: "you have a new message"*
*confusingly presses "View"*
Msg: *Do you know why *some random shit show of a movie* is the most viewed? You can rent it in our video store*
YOU MOTHER FUCKING BRAINLESS ASSHOLES!!! I'M PAYING FOR THAT FUCKING SUBSCRIPTION! MY FUCKING MONEY!! MINE! WHICH I CHOSE TO GIVE TO YOU FOR A VERY SPECIFIC SERVICE!! DO NOT PUSH YOUR BRAINDEAD, GREEDY BULLSHIT ON ME!!! IF I'LL WANT TO WATCH A GOOD MOVIE I'LL FIND IT MY SELF! YOU ARE TO FUCKING RETARDED TO TELL WHAT A GOOD MOVIE IS!!!
GOD DAMN ADS PUSHING SHIT HEADED PEASANTS!!1
A "partner" company has created a "REST" API we use on an online shop we developed to send all shop-related requests to.
At least once a month, something fails on their end and the customer calls us every time, expecting that we did something wrong, but it has never been us.
These "partners" do exactly zero testing, are extremely slow in solving API bugs, have almost no logging and have no monitoring on the API at all.
Today at noon, suddenly no customers were able to order anything anymore for 4 hours.
How the fuck can you run a business so unbelievably brainless that this keeps repeating monthly?
Time they fire all their "devs" and everyone in charge of the company and operations. TERMINATE.14
How can people don't even fucking try to see if there is a better way?
Fuck, I'm constantly even trying to improve my fucking bath routine for fucks sake and these brainless monkeys are gonna be stuck forever with fucking "right click-copy right-click paste instead of keyboard shortcuts" ( just an analogy )
Fuck that makes me angry...2
Whichever fucking cunt at Wordpress came up with that filthy Walker class and how a navigation item tree should be traversed, shall be hanged to death.
How fucking brainless can one be to create such a complete pile of donkey turds?!
No wonder Wordpress itself makes no sense at all nor has it any connection to any intelligent lifeform whatsoever.
Edit: This rant does not even closely show how high my fucking rage-level is!4
I'm sorry but Laravel is for brainless programmers who wants to be spoon feed all the time.
Laravel is maybe fast to develop and easy to understand but its only because it is poorly designed/written.
That damn Eloquent, if misuse by ignorant or amateur programmer, will definitely bring a disaster to the whole system.26
On this episode of “My Work Life” we will once again find that the code is fine, the DBAs just did something brainless again.3
So I'm TAing this database class and we constantly need to use shell to edit text. I am hosting the workshop with another student, who is a vim user and I am an emacs user. During one workshop he wrote down the commands for editing and quitting vim, and I simply told them control x and controls s, then control x and control c. And the stdents are fucking complaining that is too many commands? Like, wtf? And this week when we are holding the workshop and we need to edit something so he said just open your favourite editor and a girl was like vim, vim, vim , the same girl who complained emacs is too many commands. Like I'm the total loser using emacs there. Get your shit together people omfg you brainless followers. No offense to vim users, this is just personal.1
Whenever i get bored at work i try to motivate myself, because i notice that as soon as i am less interested, i loose focus and make mistakes.
Therefore i try to keep motivation up. One thing that helps is actually TDD, because you are able to have several small subgoals, which each leave you with a feeling of achievement, when a test you wrote passed, kinda like achievements in games.
When the task itself is so boring that even TDD doesn‘t help, i try to have fun while painfully working through it. Like have a coffee break every now and then or rant with a coworker about the task.
One time a coworker and me had to create a demo in Unity and we hated the task, because it was exactly this brainless and cumbersome clicking in the Unity3D UI which felt awful to us (we are embedded developers and we find comfort in the terminal 😄)
The only thing that got us through the task was ranting at Unity and periodically goofing around in the engine and adding weird behavior to objects.
Thanks for speaking to me earlier,
If you could send me the following details we can really get the ball rolling with the recruitment process.
• Any jobs you have applied for or interviewed (I need company name and position)
This stops me re applying you for jobs you’ve already applied for
• Any key elements an employer has to have for you
• A name phone number and position held for references at your current contract.
If we can get these over asap then we can start the ball rolling and get you a new position in the most time effective manner.
Brainless Lazy Back-Stabbing Recruiter.3
A big fuck you to Maria Ruiz. He/She wants PewDiePie removed from YT because the New Zealand shooter said subscribe to him and other stupid reasons which Pewds has clarified as satirical.
And the 68k+ brainless entities who signed the petition as well on change.org5
Scrum con religion is after me, I either convert or burn at the stake with scrum masters holding hands and dancing around while chanting the scram commandments.
Scrum will kill every decent developer on the planet and replace them with frauds...
Scrum's stupidity is toxic it's like being exposed to radiation - it makes you mutate into a brainless freak!
Doing some stupid shit-ass presentation on powerpoint. I hate this kind of work, so brainless.
PM doesn't know anything on how to create presentations, each slide has 150k words at size 10, bazillion images with a width of 1x1, and badly taken/prepared. Fonts sizes are all different (still surprised she managed to keep the same font family) between blocks.
And when I tell her that: "well I expect from you to make to make that kind of suggestions and fixing it".
How to waste a brain. Going to spend my whole day on fixing this mess.
Plus at some point she had some keywords and she had the idea of "oh, let's make a word cloud thingy". All of these tools are useless, the only decent one is "PLEASE PAY TO DOWNLOAD YOUR SHITTY CLOUD". Won't pay a shitty dime for your shitty app that I'll use once in my entire life, plus your shitty shit is overpriced.
Today's going to be a bad day.
I have attended some interviews and have solved problems related to tree, queue and what not. But after joining bo matter what never worked on any of them as such. The only place I have worked on them is open source. Not really sure why the interviewers go through the process of asking them. And in lots cases as they have just copied these from net they even don't know any alternative answers or understand them. Quite shitty.