I understood your code
WHITHOUT the comment

Raise, zero releases on weekend, not mentioning for once that ChatGPT/Bard said this or that ...etc

I swear once ChatGPT gave my boss the exact opposite of what is mentioned in the documentation and I had to literally share the link of the docs so that boss believe me ...

My piece of shit boss saying "I missed you" after I was off for some time.
POS because he threatened to fire me and I didn't have a strong hand so I went along with that mobbing...

"Take an extra paid day off"

"You are right. This will automate that boring task."

"You did everything that was tasked to you in this sprint? You can rest or help in testing something. "

Hire a separate team to implement what the dev did and see them fail miserably.

Then ask the dev for the source code and try to adapt the original solution to your own needs, and, ofc, fail at that too.

Then keep your pride high and not ask the dev to help you

Boosts self-confidence every time :)

"I think you will be on this company for many years."
Depending on the company, this can be a compliment or a threat.

Product manager: 'I am not feeling well so I'll keep this short'

And then continues to harp on for 25 minutes.

2022 Dec
Everyone: hehe, ChatGPT is soo cool, it responds to me and even knows what's the capital of France is! It is really cool!!!

2023 Jun [6 months later]
Everyone: hehe, ChatGPT is SOOOO stupid! I asked it to write a microkernel with native HTTP and TLS support and it made a semantic mistake in line 98823 lolz what a PoS

I am driven nearly to blind rage by people who insist on sending you issues as emails and just keep piling more emails on the same thread. For the love of everything decent learn to use a mother FUCKING ticket system.

The only thing left worth chasing is money for me
I just don't fucking care about anything else
I used to feel lonely cause i've never had a girlfriend and i am turning 19 this week.

But something flipped in me yesterday and i was like fuck all this shit. I'll just get the money and end up dating the hottest girl in town 10 years from now after getting the money instead of chasing mediocre pussy or even mediocre friendships too where the friends end up betraying you eventually after using you

Me: *gives 8 story points*
PO: Why is it 8 points? this is just copy-pasting and should not take more than 2 hours.

Work starts ar 9:00 am

WFO: 7:30
OMG, FUCK!! I've overslept. wtf happened.. I'll be late for work.

WFH: 8:53
cool, I still have time for breakfast!

BOSCH replied to my job application for java backend engineer

"Thank you for your interest in Robert Bosch d.o.o.."

WOW

"We have reviewed your application..."

YES?

"...and have decided..."

YESS???

"...to move forward with..."

YESSS I CANT BELIEVE I GOT A JOB AT BOSCH

"...other candidates."

I closed my work laptop yesterday around noon and dumped water on it. I was just so fed up.

Some spilled off onto my desk, though, so i gently moved (read: threw) the offending piece of plastic frustration onto the floor and carefully dried my desk.

On my way to the trash can, i stepped on the laptop. I stepped on it again on the way back, and later, on my way out the door.

I came in to get something half an hour later, and stepped on it again. It remained a stepping stone for the rest of the day, and accrued considerable foot traffic.

I spent the day drinking peach whiskey and playing with my children instead of working on reports. It was a good day.

Don't worry: my laptop still worked this morning, though I declined to.

Rovio, the company behind Angry Birds, are scumbags.

When you progress to a certain level, they offer you a cool new thing — to hatch an egg. You click “hatch”, and then you have to wait 24 hours. This builds excitement — after all, it looks like an amazing new mode, and you can't wait to see what it is.

The reality is, you hatch this beautiful little creature. From here on, you have to FEED it regularly, or it will die. They drew it the cutest way possible. How should a child resist feeding this cutie? When I hatched it, I didn't know what this new mechanic was, and I assume new players don't know either.

You feed it apples. You can find apples on certain levels, but they are scarce. The further you go, the more apples are required to keep him alive. Play the game actively to keep up with it and get apples! Or, you could just… I don't know… BUY them.

“Mom, I need $11.99 to feed Fluffy, otherwise it will die!”

A straight-up scumbag fucking mechanic in a game targeted to impressionable children that will have a hard time seeing this tiny beautiful creature die of starvation. Let's guilt-trip kids into asking money from their parents!

I just landed a contract. 8000 EUR a month raw, not to shabby. Apparently they gather once a week in a co-working, but according to the recruiter they would be flexible about me having to go. Now next step is saving money so I could buy an electric van, then a piece of field and build a tiny house. Not getting any younger

Tickets today are really fucking spicy

On the 18th October 2021 I had to hastily write some magic numbers into our code.
I added a comment saying "TODO: add a damn enum to make this selection clear"

Today, I refactored this module... and I used a damn enum.

Good things happen – have a nice weekend yall

On today's episode of Fucked Up Office Drama-Rama: useless project manager finally gets her desired outcome after 6 months of whining to her boss about a team member being "difficult to work with". She has only been with us for a year and is the only one that has had any "issues" with him, and the problem has simply been that he has called her out when her lack of planning, lack of effort, lack of common sense and lack of technical understanding has caused the team extra work and pressure. His contract gets terminated, she stays on, and on top of it all she's managed to hire a replacement without consulting anyone and therefore has the complete wrong skills compared to what we need. We needed someone with frontend skills, she decided on a senior backend / architect arrogant fuck that after only a few weeks is already showing us it's not going to be fun.

Fuck my life. Time to look for a new client.

You know what´s really retarded?

How HP decided to put the delete key next to the power button on their Elitebooks (and make the power button part of the top keyboard row)

This is cool as hell:
http://www.quiss.org/boo/

That is all.

Your code is like a poem, written by a forklift driver who didn’t know what poems were, but was made to write one nonetheless. Using Microsoft excel.

I just answered honestly to an “anonymous” survey of my workplace. If I don’t get laid off in the next 3 months, then I’ll believe it’s truly anonymous.

Can you really trust the security features on your device?

Can you really verify that no one is looking at what you're doing all day, in your house or out and about?

What if I am the one looking at your naked ass right now?

I switched my job a few months ago.

And now instead of having daily rants in our team lead's channel on slack on how I wish to inflict physical harm on one of my interns (and I'm talking interns that would just interrupt a daily to make their breakfast), and having something to bitch about because our method of version control was using the IDE's history.

And that I came on here to make another post about the times that I brought up that we should address our technical debt, and only being met with "we don't have technical debt" by our CTO.

I now have a good dev environment, with also a lot more trust given to the employees, where I actually don't have much to complain, and 0 reason to really post rants about my work here :D

(and the previous company I worked at got sold and merged with another, so I jumped that ship in time :P)

Fun fact: if you look at video release dates, Tom Scott learned how to fly a jetpack before learning how to ride a bike.

GOT NEARLY FIRED, BECAUSE PROJECT HAD A KPI OF LOC. AND MINE WAS NEGATIVE!! MFSSSSSS I AM THE ONLY ONE REMOVING UNNECESSARY CODE, REDUCING DUPLICATES, REFACTORING AND OPTIMIZING.

Senior leadership: "We've had great feedback that these short, quick meetings are highly valuable, so we are going to make them longer."

200 OK
{ ok: false, error: "Not found", code: 404 }

Just reading through Googles Health Connect documentation 👀