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Never let customers define the priority levels. It will end in:
- Normal (never used)
- High (used for small text changes)
- Higher
- OMG fix now
- Highest
- the World is ending if this doesn't get fixed now
- different existential plane of priority
- Priority ∞ + 118 -
Sales employee Bob wants a clickable blue button.
Bob tells product owner Karen about his unstoppable desire for clickable blue buttons.
Karen assigns points for potential and impact (how much does a blue button improve Bob's life, how many people like Bob desire blue buttons)
Karen asks the button team how hard it is to build a button. The button team compares the request to a reference button they've built before, and gives an ease score, with higher score being easier (inverse of scrum points).
These three scores are combined to give a priority score. The global buttonbacklog is sorted by priority.
Once every two weeks (a "sprint") the button team convenes, uses the ease scores to assign scrum points. Difficult tasks are broken up into smaller tasks, because there is a scrum point upper limit. They use the average of the last 5 sprints to calculate each developer's "velocity".
The sprint is filled with tasks, from the top of the global button backlog, up to the team's capacity as determined by velocity. Approximate due dates are assigned, Bob is a happy Bob.
What if boss Peter runs into the office screaming "OUR IMPORTANT CLIENT WANTS A FUCKING PINK BUTTON WHICH MAKES HEARTS APPEAR"?
Devs tell boss to shut the fuck up and talk to Karen. Karen has a carefully curated list of button building tasks sorted by priority, can sedate boss with valium so he calms the fuck down until he can make a case for the impact and potential of his pink button.
Karen might agree that Peter's pink button gets a higher priority than Bob's blue button.
But devs are nocturnal creatures, easily disturbed when approached by humans, their natural rhythms thrown out of balance.
So the sprint is "locked", and Peter's pink button appears at the top of the global backlog, from where it flows into the next sprint.
On rare occasions a sprint is broken open, for example when Karen realizes that all of the end users will commit suicide if they don't have a pink heart-spawning button.
In such an event, Peter must make Bob happy (because Bob is crying that his blue button is delayed). And Peter must make the button team of devs happy.
This usually leads to a ritual involving chocolate or even hardware gift certificates to restore balance to the dev ecosystem.23 -
Client: the platform isn't sending emails
Dev: I'll look into it
(Finds all emails are being sent without issue)
Client: I just tested and I'm not receiving emails. This is obviously a site wide bug and I'm upping the priority to "Critical". I'm also getting everyone over here involved.
(Looks into clients account)
Dev: you didn't turn the setting on to allow emails to be sent to you.
Client: this is still a site wide bug that is affecting everyone.
(Provides screenshots showing emails are being sent and opened. Client closes ticket and doesn't respond anymore)11 -
Thursday
PM: Hey why is A delayed? It should be top priority.
me: I just completed B, and C which were also top priority but got scheduled earlier, so I thought they..
PM: Agh, yes. But can you then finish A by the end of week? it would be very important!
me: No, I unfortunately don't think I'd have enough time by the end of wee..
PM: Why? This should be *the* top priority task. You should not start other tickets before A is done.
me: Exactly. But I *just* started. And. I. don't. have. enough. free. hours. left. this. week.
PM: But why?!
me: So just on Friday I have these 5 meetings here..
*shows calendar*
PM: Ok... OK! Then don't attend those before you are done. This should be more important.
me: Ugh, oh-key...are you sure?
PM: Yea, just let who invited you know that you can't attend and feel free to cc me in, I'll explain A is most important atm.
me: Ok, thanks, but that won't be necessary.
PM: What? Why?
me: You invited me to the Friday meetings.
Obviously I had to attend all 5 meetings today and A is pushed back to next week. :)10 -
In an effort to deal with the number of “top priority” tickets, management has come up with a new priority level, “urgent”, to help differentiate between tickets that are “top priority” and tickets that are actually “top priority”.
So as you can guess all tickets are now codified as “urgent”.
I’ve suggested management downgrade some tickets back to merely “top priority” as we’re clearly right back where we started with it being difficult to determine which order to do tickets in.
They’ve ignored my request as the bletherings of a clearly unenlightened peon, and have instead came up with a new priority, “mission critical” which will be reserved for the most hallowed of emerg— oh no wait everything is now “mission critical” who would have guessed?
So “Top priority” is the now lowest priority a ticket can have…Naturally.16 -
Manager: Feature C doesn’t work
Dev: We never built feature C
Manager: Nonsense, I remember feature C clearly!
Dev: It’s still in the backlog
Manager: But we had many meetings about it
Dev: Never got put on the board
Manager: Feature C is very important!
Dev: It was never assigned to anyone
Manager: What could possibly be more important than Feature C?
Dev: All the other features you placed on the board and assigned up until now
Manager: Well I need Feature C done asap! It should be top priority!
Dev: Ok then next sprint add feature C to the board and assign it to someone
*Next planning session manager leaves feature C in backlog in favour of other tickets*
*2 days later*
Manager: What is the status of feature C?
Dev: You opted to leave it in the backlog
Manager: BUT IT SHOULD BE TOP PRIORITY!
Dev: …9 -
Manager: *taps dev on shoulder* We need to do B
Dev: I know, you created a ticket for it yesterday
Manager: Yeah but it hasn’t been done yet. It needs to get done.
Dev: I’m currently working on A which is higher priority
Manager: Ok but B needs to be done too
Dev: I know, it’s next on my board
Manager: I’m just making sure you are aware of it
Dev: I am aware of it, it’s next on the board
Manager: Ok but make sure you do it after A
Dev: Yup it’s next up
Manager: Ok, don’t let anyone distract you
Dev: …9 -
!rant
Boss: Something urgent has come up, can you take care of this.
Me: Okay.... But I am already working on X and it's a critical thing.
Boss: No, X is no longer of priority. You need to now pick up Y.
Me: But I was already........ Never mind. Yeah sure I will start working on Y.
Next day
Boss : What is the update on X?
Me: I was working on Y, also wasn't it de prioritized.
Boss : I think I was very clear when I communicated to you that X is very critical. Also you need to learn to manage your time.
Me: FUCK MY LIFE19 -
Mon: Ticket A is now low priority, Ticket B is top priority
Tues: Ticket B is now low priority, Ticket C is top priority
Wed: Ticket C is now low priority, Ticket D is top priority
Thurs: Ticket D is now low priority, Ticket E is top priority
Manager (Fri): You haven’t completed a ticket all week! What gives??
Manager (Following Mon): Tickets A, B, C, D AND E ARE TOP PRIORITY!!!!!
Dev: …12 -
Dear clients.
Putting your support subject or content either in uppercase letters or telling US that your matter/ticket has 'the utmost priority' doesn't mean anything to us. You'll just have to keep in line.
WE decide the priorities. Also, calling us when we haven't looked into your very fucking high priority ticket yet for about 5 FUCKING minutes is NOT going to help YOU.
- One of the Linux Support Engineers.9 -
Client: We need these book genres added to the website ASAP!
PM: Hey dev, its priority #1, please add these genres ASAP!
Dev: Okay, can I get a file which needs to be imported?
Client: Oh we will have that in couple of weeks.
Dev: Okay so write me in couple of weeks.
Client: What kind of company is this? Outrageous!!!5 -
Probably the most heart breaking thing to hear as a Developer - " Nobody cares about your backend, front-end is the priority !" :/11
-
*In teams meeting with client*
Manager: Yes we can do all of that and it will be actioned very quickly. We will make all of these feature requests top priority. We will set aside everything we are currently working on in order to get this done!
Dev: ...Are you writing any of this down?
Manager: I don't need to, I always remember everything!
Dev: Just so you are aware, I'm not writing anything down. You're going to need to create a ticket with requirements spelled out for each one of these promises you're making otherwise they won't get actioned by the team.
Manager: I know that!
Dev: ...
*Later that day*
Ticket Title: Action client feature requests TOP PRIORITY!!!
Ticket Description: *empty*
Dev: ...13 -
When you have a 7Mbps ADSL and your brother keeps loading Tv series:
- 192.168.1.1
- QoS
- YOUR_MAC_ADDRESS priority=MAX
- HIS_MAC_ADDRESS priority=MIN
Well, now begin to complain that the connection is slow.14 -
I got assigned approximately 20 tasks, all are high priority.
Coworker got assigned 2 tasks, (“like fix button sizes and padding”, “localisation “)
He completed.
I got questioned: “are you sure you are a senior developer? Are you doing your work at all? If your coworker can finish low priority tasks in a day , why you as a senior can’t? “
Me :”if you have the ability to see , please tell me how many tasks I have that are in high priority.”
“Exactly, I need you to complete it now , I expect more from you as a senior. “
Me: “why not you tell me which tasks are higher priority? Because can’t be all are urgent. If everything is urgent , nothing is urgent.”
“Stop giving excuses, be a team player.”
Me :” how is it making excuses for asking urgencies of the tasks?”
“Hahaha you called yourself a senior. What a joke”
Me:”likewise, you called yourself a Project manager yet can’t manage. What a joke indeed.”18 -
When you ask the PM which one of two projects is of higher priority because there isn't enough time to complete both and he responds "of course project A is of higher priority but project B needs to be finished by next week! *leaves room*"7
-
Waisting some times on codewars.com
~~~~
3 kyu challenge:
Given a string with mathematical operations like this: ‘3+5*7*(10-45)’, compute the result
~~~~~
*Does a quick and easy one liner in python using eval()*
*sees people actually writing some 100 lines parsing the string and calculating using priority of operation*
Poor them...
(Btw, passed to lvl 4 kyu thx to this)14 -
Fucking crunchyroll hardcodes their access tokens in a Constants Class in their APK, technically that is a security issue.
What the actual fuck Crunchyroll!? No fucking wonder you got DNS Hijacked so quick, security is literally your second priority you dumbed down twats, get some real devs and some real QAs for fucking god sakes, you're tearing down your own system by inviting exploits.8 -
Management had the idea to have a hackathon on saturday. Everybody should gather ideas what to do on this day, but top priority is to have fun.
In the end, management decided that we should work on tasks from our backlog.
Yeah... unpaid work on saturday... sounds like fun10 -
The way things are prioritized:
Emergency
Critical
ASAP
Do first
Top priority
Urgent
Urgent ASAP
Major urgent
Fuck sakes.. 😣11 -
Project Manager: Hey Gid, we need to start migrating project-A to the new Server.
Me: Okay, I will inform Dev-Q.
Project Manager: Please do and treat as top priority!
Me: Hey Dev-Q, we need to migrate project-A to the new Server and we need to get it done asap.
Dev-Q: But I'm currently working on some critical bug XYZ which PM wants fixed before COB.
Me: I dunno maybe you want to speak with him.
Dev-Q: I was told to...
Project Manager: Yes! we need that done right away.
Dev-Q: What about the critical...
Project Manager: No! treat this as top priority the client just called.
Dev-Q: Okay.
Me: Any update yet?
Dev-Q: Yep but it seems like the database is quite large and the migration may take a while.
Me: Okay take your time.
Dev-Q: {hours later} Pheww done! All files and database migrated successfully.
Project Manager: Good good. So the critical bug XYZ was also completed and migrated to the new server right?
Dev-Q:
5 -
We had a priority 1 incident (= the complete basis of our business is at risk, nobody can work anymore). The reason: at least 50 fax machines didn't work anymore ...
You're laughing? Well, in the department next to us, they still use dot matrix printers.8 -
Messaging me at 4:30pm on a Friday about a high priority issue currently in production.
My reply: a link to the code review from 2 months ago that literally explained the problem and what to do to fix it. That got implemented. Then removed. For some reason...
Feels good.2 -
On my first day at work i was given the task to rewrite some code. I pulled the code, started the server and was greeted with a login-page. Instead of asking for credentials i tried good ol' " OR 1=1;#. Instand login, admin account. My boss was baffled, but instead of fixing this he decided other tasks had "higher priority". 3 years later, this still exists. I also heard some client runs the application open on the internet.
Everyone wants security, but some people decide to pull out the bottommost card in the fragile house of cards of security6 -
Manager: We will be building a new app. THIS TIME EVERYTHING MUST BE ABSOLUTELY PERFECT, ANYTHING LESS THAN TOP QUALITY WORK WILL BE REJECTED!!
*Not even 2 days into the new project*
Manager: Ok that’s good enough, we can fix it later. Can you go quicker on the next feature? Just sacrifice a bit of quality so we get these tickets closed as fast as possible. I said we can fix it later. Getting tickets closed asap is top priority.
Dev: …3 -
Me: Dear Boss, what should I do first? Thanks 😇
1. Rush
2. ASAP
3. Urgent
4. Important
5. Priority
6. I Need That Now5 -
Boss says that I'm getting a third project I should work on from now on.
Also says that that the deadline is at march 21th.
Then says that the other project whose deadline is at may 1st has priority over all others.
10 -
No matter how much product owners claim "bugs have priority over anything else", "we value high quality structured code", and "we do test driven development"...
...Once a big client wants a feature to be developed before they sign up, dirty code will be written from napkin specs, and that code will always be refractored "soon".4 -
Them: "How is that low priority feature request coming along?"
Me: "It's almost done, a bunch of higher priority things delayed me. It should come live sometime tomorrow"
Them: "It better do"
Me: "Oh did I say tomorrow? I meant next week."
Fuck your attitude. You won't die not having your "saves 15" minutes a day feature for a few more days while some people can't work at all before I fix a major bug. You're not even my manager.
Bonus: overheard him talking shit about me working too slow later that day too.2 -
I just realized that CPU's are essentially electronic hookers, for processes.
They'll service any process that calls upon them, but keep switching between various processes so that it can spend time fairly with each of its processes. And of course, they'll immediately abandon their current process if one with a higher priority reveals itself and attend to that one instead. Once it is finished, it'll return to its less-important processes.
Kinda sounds like a hooker to me... 🤔4 -
When management produces a list of priorities but every item on the list is #1 priority. So some items are in BOLD to signify their even greater priority over other priorities.14
-
Manager: *taps dev on shoulder* Hey I noticed a minor bug I think
Dev: Sigh…. So then create a ticket for it
Manager: Can’t you just fix it right now?
Dev: I can but I’m currently working on that other issue you told everyone was “top priority” at the morning status meeting. Should I switch to actioning this minor bug instead?
Manager: Don’t switch just multitask and work faster!
Dev: …8 -
Management: Feature X is your top priority. Dont work on anything else because this needs to be ready for next Monday.
Me: *works furiously*
Management: *monday* Oh yeah we dont need that now. Why are you behind on your other work?3 -
Everything is a fucking priority.
According to the management, everything should be done yesterday already.
Gave me a single designer and developer while asking asking me to deliver long term and short term initiatives at the same time.
Morons.8 -
Before I left for vacation two weeks ago, I busted my butt to build out another portion of my frontend testing framework and get it in place (and spec’d) to unblock a coworker on a semi-high-priority ticket. I sent him detailed notes on which areas of the product it covers, how to use it, and copied one of his (blocked) tests over and updated it to use the new methods, pattern, namespacing, etc.
I came back today and discovered … he hasn’t even touched it. Everything is exactly as I left it.
Wheeeeeee.12 -
Rawrrrr
People need to understand that prioritisation is not saying everything is top priority. That means they're all the *same* priority and therefore none are a priority! Gah5 -
So, you are in middle of something urgent and top priority? In the meeting just displaying the business plan for 1000 people? Fixing a bug that needs the release in 30min or otherwise small babies will start to burn?
Update. Why not? It's like driving down the motorway, someone stops you and tells you that they're going to remove your steering wheel now. For no reason.
9 -
She : You spend your whole day with your stupid computer ! That dumb machine is more important to you than me. We are done 😡
Me : Babe, I swear to God, you'll always be number one on my priority list.
She : Aww.. love you so much 😚
Me in mind : This must be the reason behind foundation of 0 index for Devs.1 -
I need some suggestions for a funny wifi name.
Preferably something tech related, but funny is the main priority lol46 -
New client: can we go live next month?
Me: do you think you are our only client, or do you want to pay an extra priority fee?
New client: what?
Me: what?
*Crickets"4 -
WHY DO WE HAVE TO BUY THE PROFESSOR'S BOOK JUST TO BE ABLE TO PASS THE COURSE?
It's so stupid, I'm currently attending a Operating Systems course at university and the professor NEEDS us to buy his book because all of the tasks and seminars are based on his book. It is stupid! There are thousands of books out there on Operating Systems programming! Free ones too! But instead we have to spend 800SEK (100USD) on his book.
And guess what? There is literally one task based on his book... To summarize the chapters about Fixed Priority scheduling and Dynamic Priority scheduling. Which is 15 pages out of 200+.
All the students attending the course are going to the director of studies and complaining next week. This is unacceptable. If it was a good book, sure. But the book has the same exact information as multiple free e-books we've found.
Ridiculous.15 -
Boss: We should thoroughly test any changes made. Let it run in the test version for a few weeks before we wide release.
Also Boss: I want to add this tiny feature that is low priority because I am the only person that needs it. Wide release it right away. -
We are rebuilding an internal web app our company uses and this is how the meeting went down
Me: since this is a big undertaking so we should all work on this as a team and divide the work load
Boss: I can't afford the internal costs to have you all on this * assigns the part timer to the task*
Three months later after launch
Boss: this is not at all what I expected! I want the entire team on this now! It's a top priority!3 -
Sad. Got a new job. Apparently, readable code is not a priority. My suggestions were being ignored. Does the benefits of condensing an if-else to a simple one-line return statement really that hard to understand? Does making clean and readable code should be an optional thing to consider? It doesn't help that I'm the youngest, they felt like I don't have enough street cred. I'm starting to hate my job.11
-
I stopped caring about managers loving endless meetings and priority shifts.
They pay me to attend to meetings.
I'll give them what they want.
But if they ask me if the feature is done, I make them attend a meeting for that.3 -
Devs: "Accessibility? Not a high priority for now"
Also Devs (in tech conferences): "I can't read, can you please increase the font size?"
"Also, dark mode everywhere please"4 -
I just spent 15 minutes trying to figure out why my school WiFi was so slow. Turns out, windows was downloading an update, ON HIGHEST FUCKING PRIORITY. Fuck you windows1
-
I don't know man.. I know it's !dev, I just wanna share with ye how beautiful my first Tomahawk steak turned out..
Relatively stressful week with requirements doing U-turns and 5 requirements all becoming first priority, I had my first feckup in a while (nothing bad, just wasted a couple people's time) and now I started off into the weekend with this beauty..
100% Irish grassfed beef with a glass of Redbreast 12. Now I wanna sleep and digest.. OR drink much more whiskey. Not sure yet.
Enjoy the long weekend guys 😬
17 -
So I asked my company's tools team to fix a bug in their tools related to testing a major feature of our project. They downgraded it to "low priority" because it's "user-specific". I asked how can this be user-specific when it's a major feature. They came back with "well, you're the only one testing it"... Right...
-
I've thought of couple of good outcomes of Apple removing the headphone jack:
1. Wireless headphones will be developed much more
2. They will be available for better prices as competitors starts to compete. At this time most of the wireless headphones are quite expensive.
3. Quality over wireless will now become a priority.
But I don't support this decision and will stick with my Xperia Z5.22 -
A manager who felt that it was okay to come and speak to me about something that they were unhappy with in my conduct towards a member of our team, in a public place, loud enough for others to hear.
The conduct that made the manager feel the need to do this was my response to something another team member asking me to do. I had a lot on my plate with work, and had been given at least 3 additional tasks already in that meeting and my response to having to do yet another thing for this other team member because they "hadn't any idea what to do" was simply that I was quite busy and if it wasn't high priority it could wait one week as I have 3 other higher priority tasks that week to do. This resulted in me getting a warning and in a very public place.
Shouldn't have let it get to me the way it did, but the stress I was under and the way in which it was conducted just broke me and I cried. That nearly pushed me to leave my job and industry entirely.6 -
I really enjoy hearing:
- This is number one priority
- It is urgent
- the highest priority
Just because someone somewhere didn't do his planning it doesn't mean that his lack of judgement should affect me one bit. You made your bed my friend, now sleep on it.1 -
Bossman kept giving me a new “high priority” every month. Which would’ve been fine except for the fact that the prior month’s “high priority” was always a type that needed several months to come to full fruition. So he was constantly pulling the rug out from under me just as I was starting to gather steam and make progress. Also, he was begrudgingly paying me only half of the market salary for my job title in my locale. Would have loved to have paid me less and worked me twice as hard. I endured about 9 months of that and then I quit. Now my job is the exact opposite. Paid nearly twice as much with no micromanaging and plenty of time to work on my projects.1
-
Marking your email as "High Priority" does not make it high priority. Nor will it get it attended to any faster. But keep believing it will, dear colleagues. Live happily in your little fantasy worlds.3
-
I had a delivery deadline on the same day when an urgent support request came in. My boss was a stupid sucker who was afraid of taking responsibility, and that's a vice I absolutely hate with bosses.
We had quite a heated argument where he just wanted me to give priority to both things, which I declined because I had no idea how much time the support research would take me.
Finally, he decided that I should work on the support item immediately, but only for up to one hour. He was totally surprised when I accepted that without further argument. I told him that all I had wanted from him had been a priority decision, and that was one.
Felt like explaining to my boss what his fucking job was.4 -
"200 Internal Server Error"
Yep, I did that. Because the lousy crapheads I work with were too lazy to handle any other HTTP status so anything else breaks the whole thing. And it's a pain to roll out another release of their part of the backend so "this isn't a priority". Also, they don't feel the need to check the JSON body of the response for the "status":"ok"/"fail" because what could ever go wrong, right? I effectively have no way of conveying to them that there was an error on this end of the API so they show success toast on the frontend irrespective of what really happened.6 -
Medium priority
High priority
Urgent priority
Immediate priority
Maximum priority
Absolute priority
Did I get the ordering right? This is hard10 -
It's sad that there's always a market, especially for what should be absolutely top priority to be kept private.
btw: sorry to OCDs, it is indeed not centered, my mail client zoomed in a little so that happened itself
7 -
The guy who became my manager just pushes to the prod branch.
On a repo where another team clearly set up development and production branches.
This guy has been pushing code like crazy and I always wanted to take my time setting things up properly in our team: TDD, CI/CD, etc.
Because he pushed so much he became my manager and I was seen as unproductive.
Data Science and software development best practices just dont coexist it seems.
Yeah yeah, it's up to me to start introducing good practices, but atm "getting it done" takes priority over the real based shit.4 -
A previous project manager thought that by marking every ticket as high priority, they would get done faster.
// priorities1 -
My ex boss wants me to finish some stuff stuff for his company, which means month or two or more without getting paid, while my current job pays me 5 times more then my previous job.. No way I'll make my priority something that doesn't even give some money. Yes I'm young, yes I learned a lot in your company,but I am paying my bills, I have to eat something, and there is no fucking way I'm going to spend that much time in something that gives me nothing.3
-
Just me today:
> Comes back home from uni after half a year
> Notices new fiber internet connection
> Connects and does a speed test
> Finds discrepancy, spends two hours configuring routers
> Runs speed test again, satisfied
> Puts bags down and begins unpacking
priority(Internet) > priority (almost_everything_else) 😤3 -
"Yeah, I got your e-mail, I see the subject. Oh no, dude, it says urgent so it went straight to the URGENT queue. Yeah? Ah. Sure, I'll get to it as soon as I get through the ASAP, NOW and YESTERDAY queues. Well, if you wanted me to read it right away you should've say there's NO HURRY - I read only one no-hurry e-mail a day but there's currently 0 tasks on that queue."
-
FUCK!
After submitting a registration form I noticed the site is served over plain HTTP. Their marketing site is served encrypted, but login and register are not! What the fuck!!!
Fuck everyone who does this stupid fucking shit with disregard to basic security features! Their goddamn bullshit privacy policy is bragging about how it's top priority to protect their customers' information and shit like that. Get the fuck out, cunts!!
I contacted them so I might have a continuation to this rant if I'm not satisfied with their answers.
Goddamn it!4 -
Never NEVER accept friend request from other area.
A guy from the sales department sent me 10 messages through Facebook to give priority to him because he is my friend.
S**k it Manolo.3 -
Fucking fuck you 'executive' sales director.
You come into my office when I'm not here, and then force people to prioritise your shitty fucking customer above a high priority one that I need to go to. I get phoned and told, "You will go there".
Basically, he just prioritised a shitty fucking issue of 3 users over a high priority SLA customer of 140 users.
Getting shat out as I speak about why the high priority is not being done (I need to do DR there, because their server crashed).
Basically said - I am fucked. I either choose to go to the SLA call and then the 'director' fucking loses his shit and hits me, or I go to the call and the MD loses his shit and fucks me up (again).
Fuck this.
Fuck.
Time to get to work! -
I haven't felt joy programming for a while now.
My work is just tasks that can be done by a monkey if they understand how the framework works and at home I can't come up with any ideas that are exciting, challenging or useful.
I feel like all my creativeness is leaking dry having to deal with deadlines about implementing this text change with critical^3 priority and other boring shit9 -
!dev
That moment when u buy an extra SSD so you can have windows to play some random MMOs with your friends and that bitch tries to sneak your Linux's boot priority.
No Windows, u're just here to play some games. No u can't boot everytime. Only linux can do that. Thank's but I don't even want a browser on you, I already have all the .exe files I need.2 -
Just spend the last 2 hours fixing the email server for sites which get next to no visits and no one uses the contact form.
It's Friday evening FFS I don't care if it's a 'Company Priority' I just want to go home.3 -
Just closed a TOP PRIORITY ticket with "as designed"..
After a 1 minute talk with the developer who wrote this code, I found it is actually deliberate..
So I just closed the ticket..
but what really bothers me is:
That developer, is sitting right next to the QA.
HE IS SITTING RIGHT THERE..
We are a small startup company, everyone are sitting around the same table..
communicate much?1 -
(in a meeting between o&m team and business partners to assign priorities to various tasks)
I.T.: So what priority would you put this new task?
Business : it's our 1.
I.T.: ok, and this other one?
B: it's a 1.
I.T.: ... -
My current situation:
Manager: How is Project A coming? Project A is top priority. I would like to see a PR today with fixes to the current tickets.
Me: Project A is priority! Sure!
*after 2hours*
Manager: How is project B coming along? I did not see any PR’s coming in?
Me: I am working on project A as it is priority.
*after 1 hour*
Manager: How is project C coming? There is one ticket pending. We need a fix for it today asap!
Me: Starts project C as project A would take more time. Starts Work on project C.
*after 1 hour*
Boss: How is project A coming? Where is the PR?
Me: As you said you need a fix for project C today, i started working on project C as it has only 1 ticket to be fixed.
Boss: I told you project A is priority, why are you working on project C?
Me: *doesn’t reply*
*after 1 hour*
Boss: There is a ticket pending in project D. Did you make a fix for it?
*This is my usual day at work.
*I am the only developer in my current company. It’s not a software development company.
*Note: I do complete all the work and create PR’s for all “pending” work at the end of the day for all projects and leave for home at around 10pm :)
What do you think? Lol6 -
while true; do
echo "Drop everything this $LATEST_TICKET is your highest priority now!"
sleep(3600)
done1 -
When there is a hard high priority bug come up and someone on the team assigns it to themselves and writes on JIRA: "I volunteer as tribute".
-
Dear Client,
Mentioning "Dear Friend" in email won't make your bug as top priority.
Seriously,
Developer4 -
I just love ultra high priority tickets that have been in the backlog for literal years.
So logical.
So amazing.
So 🤡-like.
Happy Friday!4 -
So, first a bit of background:
We've got a parent class, owned by another team, and two child classes, owned by my team. One of the children is unused. (Already sounds bullshit right.)
On to the story:
6 months ago, I had to modify one of the children (add new functionality).
I try to modify the base class to add it, the senior dev in charge says "no, just add it on the child". So I do, then merge it in.
Yesterday I wake up to a high priority bug. Turns out the senior guy wants to add another child class, and wants the functionality I put in my class on the base class.
Even commented on my PR from 6 months ago asking why I didn't do that.
The fucker opened up a high priority issue assigned to me, asking ME TO DO THE CHANGE I WANTED TO DO 6 MONTHS AGO THAT HE SAID NO TO.
Fuck this shit. I have a meeting with him and my boss in an hour. My boss is pissed, I hope he tells the other guy to go fuxk himself and do the change himself.14 -
Expectations VS. Reality : A new Software Project (After all designs and requirements are clear and fixed.)
EXPECTATIONS:
Day 1: Create workspace, Configure tools
Day 2: Implement high priority Feature
Day 3: Write UT and peer review
Day 4: Push first feature to Prod.
REALITY:
Day 1: Create workspace, Setup configurations
Day 2: Still setting up configurations
Week 1: Almost done setting up configurations
Week 2: New migrations issue, again reconfigure before coding starts
Week 3: Take a vacation
Month 2: Finally things are working but God knows what was the issue...1 -
Ever had that frustrating moment that the customer overreacts a small issue into a big issue? Just happened to me today.
Client: "Hey can you check why we are not getting any software update/patches to our firewall?"
Me: "OK. Lemme check"
** Checking **
Me: "I found that its not getting the latest updates because the license file registered has a product serial # mismatch with their support site. You can see it clearly here..."
Client: "THAT'S TERRIBLE!! QUICK!! MAKE IT A PRIORITY 1 ISSUE AND HAVE IT RESOLVE ASAP!!!"
Me: *Facepalm*1 -
Got informed that there is a bug in production that needs to be addressed on top priority.
Me opens Android studio to check.
Android studio: chill bro2 -
Thinking of swapping my laptop's 5400rpm hdd for an ssd (evo 850), but not sure if it's a priority.12
-
I would make unintelligent customers disappear.
Reason:
What did I do today, one may ask? Spent the entire day debugging code and creating test cases to fix a high priority trouble ticket submitted by the PM of a program.....where nothing was wrong to begin with.
User error makes the world sad.7 -
So fucking tired of priority shifting. How the hell is anyone supposed to get shit done with 500 fucking meetings and between each one you're told do something different?
This is critical you must do it now! No this!
My response, fuck you I'm going home my head hurts let me know what you'd like me to code and when you've decided add a day for annoying me.2 -
// Delivery manager rant part #2
When one of your many stakeholders asks "why isn't feature X built yet?"
Response: have you seen the state of production lately???? Do you really think your item is top of our priority list right now?
-
When your director wants a website done by next week, but makes you wait for designs from the same guy he keeps giving "high priority" assignments to....4
-
I have 3 different people trying to say that their last minute shit is priority. I have a headache, they put a meeting during my lunch hour. Fuck today.4
-
Ad hiring in Iran:
we need a Backend developer who is expert in React, js, scss, and you should have at least 5 years experience in DevOps.
and priority with girls.3 -
If you're on a mobile development team, you are treated special when you're the iOS guy. Nobody here damn cares about Android.6
-
how am i supposed to fix anything if they change the priorities on my tickets every 10 sec, like PM's change them, 2 min later MD over rules them and changes them again, so 5 min later PM's change them again because something urgent came up, but then another client starts ringing my MD so that client is suddenly priority
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARG
I give up2 -
You know what? I'm done with this bullshit of "do it and we review latter" when I ask clarification on requirements.
No you fucking stupid piece of shit, I'm a mother fucking professional developer, treat me with fucking respect!
I can't spend weeks trying to figure out wtf is your specific domain specifications if you ain't answer my questions with clarity I'm gonna keep asking them in slightly different ways as if you where a search engine and I'm trying to search wtf is in your mind.
Only then I'm gonna start planning/coding your shit.
I have better things to do.
Your lack of planning isn't my priority.3 -
Trying to work on the same project all week, but every other project decided to come in and take priority.
Thank goodness it's the weekend -
I hate it when the college gives priority to project report than project. I fucking hate it. Line spacing, fancy borders, font size, institutional logo, who the fuck cares? All I care is what work is going on and what have we learnt from it. Fuck these faggots. For the past week I am more of a typist than an engineering student.
I got even angrier when the evaluators did not even open and go through the report.
for i in range(sys.maxsize()):
print(“fuck”)7 -
Oh my god, this client. Everything is equally important. When finishing a feature halfway, a new future gets priority. Nothing is finished, this whole app is a bunch of loose ends. FML.3
-
An actual email thread:
G: I need this done
Me: okay. Whats the priority, when's the due date, who are the stakeholders, what's the sensitivity level of the data?
G: Priority is ASAP, due date is ASAP, stakeholders are ALL OF IT, and i want to be able to control the data sensitivity level
...
Those arent ANSWERS; they're REQUESTS!!!9 -
Spend hours implementing a working landscape design for mobile app. Priority #1 most important feature. Review meeting attendees decide not to support landscape mode because...well, for no good reason at all.
-
Not the code review itself, but having repeatedly to nag my project leader just to get a review is the worst.
I'm "only" a student and it's a project without fix deadlines so it's alright with me that it is low priority.
But - I want to learn something here, I really do, I'm new to C# and far from mastery. Apart from that my focus was mainly hardware during the last years.
I need some fucking brutal and honest criticism on my code, damnit!
That's all.5 -
I hate Wednesdays. Networking has the Antimalware service run a full/deep scan every Wednesday and my machine is basically unusable until it finishes.
Devs: "Can we have the scheduled task not run during the day, maybe even on the weekend?"
Gary: "Security is our #1 priority and without proper security methods in place, we'll be open to outside threats. Security begins with you, and ..blah blah blah"
Bite me Gary. I got something for ya.
Get-ScheduledTask | ? TaskName -eq 'Windows Defender Scheduled Scan' | Stop-ScheduledTask
7 -
Not rant. Just a pathetic mumbling.
When you live your life hiding your true face, when you live your life keeping quiet because you don't wanna burden the loved ones, when you live your life giving others first priority...
Can you even say that you are living your life?7 -
do you guys think it's dangerous territory to do something you weren't asked to do at work?
like, i know i can improve some minor inconveniences, but they are not the priority. on the other hand, we always have a bigger problem and the little stuff gets left behind. idk, i just want to leave things better than i found them9 -
Co-worker @9:00 AM: "What happened with project A?"
Me @9:01 AM: "Project B has a higher priority. Will look into project A later.*
Co-worker @9:05 AM: "Cool. Good luck with project B."
Me @9:05 AM: "Thanks."
Co-worker @11:00 AM: "Been looking into project A but could not understand what xyz means. Would you mind jumping on a call?".
Me: 😑8 -
So, my company pays thousands and thousands of euros just to show map and enable geocoding, a bug in google maps prevent Google Maps to work in Cordova and it's blocking us from deploying. After days and days of research I understand I can't solve it and I open an issue on google platform. Result: Severity -> S4, Priority -> P43
-
I missed a half of an important meeting today... because my priority is a task given today that has a deadline today
8 -
Objective-C is an awful programming language that nobody should ever use for anything.
Also you dont know how important unit tests are until you have to deliver an enterprise level application without them.
Biggest one Ive learned recently, managers will promise you the earth to keep you around as long as possible, and they will go back on every promise and call it a "change in priority" -
Producer meets designer.
Monday, 10am email "new task added: implement this new feature. Priority: can wait forever"
Tuesday, 4pm email "change on task: implement this new feature. Priority: urgent, it's a must on wednesday's build"
2 -
When you work for a week day and night to compete a feature, because top management said it's the highest priority. Then when you're about to send it off to test, they tell you it is no longer required.2
-
That moment when you have to work but actually want to watch a Christmas charity livestream 😔 lucky there were no high priority bugs today, so I watched it on anders off
-
*deploys another few Telegram userbots for my other Telegram accounts*
*finds a warning in a module it depends on, dev is a friend of mine so report it I guess, low priority as it doesn't affect anything*
*both of us agree that it still works and might very well be a clusterfuck in the bot*
*proceeds with deploying the bot*
Bot> Your API ID cannot be empty, refer to READ THE FUCKING DOCS.io for more information.
Well fuck you too bot!1 -
...What a day ,
"CTO new priority need this project started and completed ASAP."
Me: "What about my current project you wanted me to work on that was a high priority which took over Another project I was supposed to be working on?"
CTO: "This one is a higher priority than both of them"
Me: "ok sure shall get onto it".
PM: "A client has come in with an issue on another project I need this fixed now".
Team leader assigns me a bunch of tasks that need to get done which is ok but 5 people need me to get it done so they can do the bulk of their work.
Later for a side project CTO asks me to get a list together of things that are missing for this side project, about 60 seconds later he asks me to send him the email now - bare in mind nearly 300 assets I need to go through which are not organised so what the heck I just send him it mid sentence.
End of day get told that CTO wants me on yet another different project...
Each of these projects takes 4 months to get done. But arggggg... oh and then I hear that our new PM has decided to cut all project deadlines by half....
I am but a single person,
I just want to sit back and watch everything burn around me... But the company has a history of Scape goating people on failed project deadlines... Never a dull day in the office but tbh kinda like it. -
When you offer to help out a fellow coworker on the top priority feature he is developing and he just sends you the branch and stops working on it.2
-
Please don't tell me the mobile app is a priority when the whole IT infrastructure has been handled by fuckface interns who had not a single fuck to give about documentation or commenting their shitty code that strangely reminds me of a drunken Jenga game.
-
What have I been working absolutely all fucking day? FUCKING PRINTERS. I am so fucking tired of printers, everything to do with the stupid pieces of shit.
Then, some fuck stain has called me 6 times in the last hour trying to get me to drop all the things I’m doing and make him priority #1... Even though it has nothing to do with the computer and everything to do with the lack of fucking skills he has to preform his god damn job.
For fuck sakes, FUCK OFF!1 -
Man, some days, these fucking managers just make me want to get fucking drunk...
clueless questions, annoying fucking fake priority shit immediately asking for this and that with absolutely no planning or thinking ahead
its really like guiding kids through kindergarten some days
i want to bring some seriousness and structure to this company but some days.... man, i just am done with it10 -
When your mostly done code that you spent time on documenting and keeping clean gets handed over to the sloppiest dev on the team. Because that dev is out of tasks and you got other work that moved up in priority. I really hope he doesn't ruin everything :(3
-
!Rant
CTO: "We have a project that is the top most priority get it done"
CTO: "We have some tickets logged for another project get them fixed this is of the highest priority"
CTO: "I want a new feature in another project I want this done now It is top priority!"
Next day, Client comes in CTO shows him around
CTO: "You are still working on this!"
... Arg, its as if the guy thinks giving something a top priority gets it done instantly3 -
What's the point of having a QA team if they don't find any fucking bugs. It's always our highest priority clients they find them.5
-
Fffffffuuuuuuck me! I got some days off for working longer hours on a priority project than healthy humans should. Now they want me to take part of one of those days for a Very Important video call. Now canceling and rescheduling plans for that day so I can be on duty that whole day because there’s no way my head is getting or staying in relaxation mode with this interruption.4
-
Get a ticket for a low priority bug, reported internally. Fix the issue mentioned in the bug.
Moves to QA environment, the original bug reporter tests and *passes* the ticket.
Moves to Staging environment, same exact individual then *fails* the testing. Cites totally new/unrelated changes that need to be made.
Apparently our the workflow is -
Code->QA->Staging->Requirements
Makes sense! :)1 -
In the last 24 hours I have been handed 3 tasks that are to be done on priority.
While my current queue will take upto a week to clear of, nobody thought of it.
When I'll present my time estimate for the completion of the new priority tasks, and when the deadline for the remainder of the tasks will be pushed back, I'll be asked a very simple question.
"WHY IS IT TAKING SO LONG?" -
Am I the only one who hates when I enter a simple question like "PHP memory limit" and the first link *isn't* the official PHP documentation? Who gives a flip about some fancy third-party webpage where they write a whole flippin' article about a simple directive?
Ugh... The priority Google...6 -
"You need to learn Angular for a new project. You can do it in any free time you have."
Where "free time" is defined as:
Any time left in between working on priority tasks or bugs, bugs which have failed testing and the weekly array of meetings, tech sessions and meetings to discuss the progress in learning Angular. -
receive multi year old confused bug/feature request from a former CEO
why
are there not other people who can immediately answer the questions instead of playing broken telephone when it arrives to me, to go find them
do you not have better things to do with your time and other directional priorities for the company or should i really muck around this low priority thing?
i guess i just lack the CEO M I N D S E T, also the compensation package1 -
I need a cloning machine for those days when 3 clients call support for top priority issues and each one needs it in the next 20 minutes2
-
My life was troublesome today, had to help a non programmer to run jar files.
The jar executed well from command line in Windows 10 but didn't work on double click.
Did all the tricks, registry edits, cmd commands and at last I found a miracle tool called Jarfix.
Just double click and all okay.
The root cause of the problem was 7zip.
This bug is reported in the Oracle bug reporting and they have closed it as " Will not fix" low-priority report.2 -
When you have 2 "priority" projects you're working on and then the coordinator decides to give you one more...
1 -
Stakeholders must learn that code quality and a user-friendly frontend are not "nice to have". If they don't fix their priorities accordingly, someone will have to pay their technical debt and that's going to be expensive.5
-
It seems like sensitive websites that need more priority to work fine are the ones that do not. I'm talking about government, school, bank, & service provider sites. Or it's just my retarded country.9
-
Trying not to roll my eyes when they say they are like family(or adjacent things like we go to lunch togther etc) to convince me or they imply money shouldn’t be my highest priority…
-
Turns out `white-space: nowrap` takes priority over every single other layout property used to constrain width and overflow, including these:
overflow
width
max-width
grid-template-column
But hey, CSS doesn't suck, you're just bad at it!4 -
Thank to this UPS driver ... i'm not going to get my package (laptop screen) until Monday evening.
Express Priority shipping $35.xx or whatever that is down the drain.
Never had this issue with Fedex and 100's packages delivered.
This ends the rant.3 -
Some method of getting useful bug reports from users and clients with an AI that can prioritise them.
At leat then I wont get priority 1 "Wrong shade of blue on button" -
As an interviewer or a senior software engineer who would want to hire someone new to your team, would you expect a person with a solid grasp of algorithms or a person who has good experience in the stack you are using? If both, what would be your priority?10
-
Boss tells me every other week to "set focus" on a completely different topic without loosing a word on the "top priority" the day before. Or he asks for the other (not finished) feature to be ready "in the next few" days/hours.
Yeah. A real sunbeam in dark times.1 -
Fixed a high priority bug today just prior to release. There was 100% test coverage. The tests pass both before and after the change. The product behavior is correct now where it wasn't before. Just one more reminder that test coverage does not equate to either quality or correctness. Tests are alarms (at best), and quality of tests are no better an any chunk of code. All tests have costs, but not all have value. All reasons why I am skeptical of the value of code coverage, TDD, or anything that posits that "all tests are good".6
-
I work at a small company (less than 10 developers). We tried to do code review but all of our projects are "work for hire" for our clients and we always have deadlines. Code review step always had the least priority and whenever the deadline gets closer, we would stop doing code review all together.
Finally we are starting our own projects and we are planning on hiring more developers and interns. I think code review will have a higher priority now.1 -
"Engineering needs to play catch-up"
This ask of yours was never a priority until this meeting. And you want us to finish development, test and deploy to a client. You are crazy!3 -
My team has a huge, high priority project to make a very complex system a lot more simple.
It has to follow the same rules as the current system and do everything it does.
Can I kill myself now? -
A music server where people can login and add their own music to channels, with request lists and priority lists algorithms. Welp atleast the streaming part is done4
-
Pretty sure someone else said it before but: chose something else.
The market is over saturated with developers. There are plenty of other spaces in which you can work with computers and code.
Think: system administration, cyber sec (which also pays higher in a lot of places compared to development since resource security is a priority), networking etc.22 -
Product owner: when will you have that script written and submitted to DBAs?
Me: if nobody bugs me, hopefully COB today.
Product owner: great!
*user support*
*user support*
*user support*
*user support*
*user support*
Team lead: write this other script.
Me: I just finished user support, I have another script to write first. Does yours take priority?
Team lead: yes.
Me: ok....*sigh*
*writes 2nd script*
*submits 2nd script to DBAs*
Product Owner: you done?
Me: *face palm* ......NO! -
Is there anything nicer than having home office Friday and meeting up Monday only to discover that you were excluded from a meeting that Friday and they decided on a bunch of things that invalidates a lot of your past weeks work, making it top priority to resolve and now exceeding deadlines…3
-
Our company doesn't have much structure. One of 4 people can have me working on a project, or all 4 at the same time. And every few hours 1 of them asks how their project is going and get huffy if I'm working on one of the other guys, claiming top priority. After 3 years, I've been able to just go with it. Half the projects have never actually made it to production. Sometimes, they'll even forget about their projects.4
-
That feature that needed to be taken live asap. Who's priority was set the highest. For which i had to stop the code i was developing, to work on that.
Post going to production, one month's passed and the feature still awaits there in its lonely world to be used by someone, anyone.
Please use it.1 -
When everything you're sent gets assigned top priority and the only way you can tell the difference is by how many exclamation points are used and the occasional uppercase...
-
Update: Productionizing it in Python is now priority number one
Orders came from the big boss too 😄😊😎
-
After a week of getting new projects thrown at me, I finally get a block of time to start one of the larger, more complicated one.
30 minutes into planning it out, prepping the workspace and diverting 90% focus to said project, someone busts in with a more complicated top priority project that needs done by end of day.2 -
Been struggling with an issue all weekend (it had to go to client today) with no solution and without understanding why it was returning the wrong values.
Arrive this morning to the office and team leader asks me about the issue and gives me a new one with higher priority, so I decide to pass my issue to a junior I work with.
While doing so and explaining everything he should look into, by some magic powers I found the reason for the issue
Thank the rubber ducking god!!! -
Another rant got me thinking about this.
There must be plenty of us on here who have worked as part of or with a customer support department at some point in our careers.
What is the stupidest idea you've ever heard with regards to support?
To start things off my last place had problems with support, over worked, under staffed and expected to support 12+ versions of the same software, some clients were running installations over 15 years old without ever having applied an upgrade.
The management decided that they would get rid of the conventional triage system for tickets, you know the sort priority 1 would be system down etc.
Instead we had to log tickets at whatever priority the client said it was. Customer report written by the client has a spelling mistake? Yep that's a P1.
Client wants to change the colour of their menu? Yep P1
As you can imagine that went down like a shit sandwich1 -
As a dev, not a manager, what's the maximum number of projects you can handle at once?
I know it depends on the workload but wanna see how others do on average.
Literally fried up with so many projects put on my shoulders after the exodus from my company since they f-ed up bonuses and hikes.
Also, why does every manager think their project is The Priority one? Selfish assholes.6 -
Cunts I want to punch in the face: (in order of priority, grouped by similarity.)
1. Anyone who uses the words 'doggo' or 'pupper'.
2. Rapists, masogynists, Scientologists.
3. Anyone with news about their latest Linux distro.
4. Kanye West, Fred West, John West.
5. Trump, Maybot, Bojo.
6. Friends of Trump, Maybot, Bojo.
7. Kevin Bacon (since the EE ads)
8. That child on the bus.
9. The parents of that child on the bus.
10. Anybody who disagrees with any item on this list.15 -
I’d like to have a DevRant dataset so I can make some great visualizations, text analysis, etc. of the things we hate the most. This is top priority, thanks in advance.5
-
Finished && deployed a big release yesterday (like the main component, only changed in 4-5 times over the years).
You know the mental state of "ahh it's done"
I couldn't even savour it and theres needless work given to me just-because. It ain't urgent, it ain't high-priority, and IT'S A FRIDAY TODAY? :v
No wonder the smarter-than-me predecessors left this job. One can't even get a sense of satisfaction after putting that amount of thought and work.1 -
A customer specialising in identification and security solutions called today, claiming "they" found malware on their website. Then they provided a weird link to some shady malware scanner, and the "malware" turned to be a <noscript> tag which adds ?noscript to the page url, so we can serve no-JS optimised content. As a bonus, the scanner only detected it on two URLs, even though every single page on the site contains that same line of code.
Joke's on them, have fun paying for priority support outside of the business hours for nothing.2 -
We had a production outage directly caused by our team not following a change procedure correctly. Now we're under a microscope and in a "get well" program.
They took over the daily standup for this high priority program and are organizing efforts in confluence instead of jira.
Now we have a confluence doc of what everyone is working on with someone changing the text status in a table by hand every morning along with the comments in a note section...3 -
"Can you go through this hours-long process to reproduce an issue i saw and debug it? I don't have bandwidth."
"Sure, but I'm pretty sure the issue is actually due to your recent changes in [related feature], and I'm pretty busy myself."
"No, that's not how that works. Please figure out the real issue." (Strongly implying it was my fault)
*Goes through hours-long process to reproduce* (yes this procedure could be improved but this is a rant not a planning meeting)
*Of course, it was his change*
"Oh. Well, it's not really a priority." -
An idea which was once your dream.
You worked very hard.
You exhausted all your time.
Your no.1 priority is your dream then family.
Your sleepless nights were comforted by naps.
You dropped out of school.
You stopped your lovely job.
Finally, you succeeded.
You brought the dream to life. Hurray!
You were very excited including the people around you.
... And then
One rich dude came by... -
I regret ever picking my CS major every time I stare at my VS Debugger and am stuck reading the values stored in a List<Int>. Why, List<Int>, as the backing for my shortest path, do you not have the proper values after I walk my tree.
I have lovingly set up my Priority Queue. I have followed the class notes and lectures.
Oh why, my List, have your forsaken me?
Oh.
It's a recursion bug. I'm not updating nodes properly.
I'm a dumb ass.2 -
PM: Can you help out writing a test suite for feature X? Really high priority!
Me: Ok, give me a day or so.
I get it done, and setup in CI-tool to test on the feature branch.
*Next day*
PM: It doesn't work! Can you have a look?
Me: Uhm yeah.
Only broken on feature branch of course.
Dev working on feature X: Ok pushed a potential fix, can you run test suite again?
PM: Yes, can you get on that asap?
CAN YOU RUN YOUR OWN FUCKING TESTS?
(╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻ -
Just those days when there's no work and then there's a flood of work. And all high priority. Can't understand how the fuck they always end up like this.
-
To me, the single biggest coding distraction is other coding, i.e. When there are more things to work on than there are developers and priority changes on a whim. My runner's up would be people who come to you directly for non-urgent matters disregarding that you're busy. The third would be meetings, but I consider meetings to be a necessary evil. Almost nothing is worse than too little communication and the resulting mismatch in expectations.
-
So today we had a pre-sprint-planning meeting where the POs told us about the stories currently in the backlog. They went ahead and "roughly prioritised" some of them. Their priorities were:
- normal (but asap please)
- has to be done this sprint, because the feature has to be in the next release (code freeze after this sprint)
- top priority, because this has to be in the previous release (which was released last friday)
The non-normal stories alone are about twice our normal velocity. Good job guys. Good job. -
"Can you make this quick change?"
"Yeah, but I'll need to change every page this thing is on and you told me this other project I'm working on is high-priority. Are you sure you want me to do this?" (Also this is a change you're capable of making yourself...)
"It shouldn't take too long, we need this done."
...if I thought it wouldn't take long, I wouldn't have brought it up. -
My CSS-only hamburger menu.
It's cool and all, just a few lines of code, but some days ago I tried to do a 2 sides hamburger menu.
Based on that I just copied it and changed every left for right. Worked. Like. A. Charm. I had to apply some z-index stuff of course but nothing out of ordinary.
I'm so cool. I'll upload it to GitHub ASAP, but it's not a priority rn. -
I love devRant, show new prespective and many related story around me and my job.
For me devRant is like medicine, help me smile and make my good mood sometime.
But, also like medicine I only open the app on spare time or when I need it.
I just curious why so many people so addicted to this, also I see some user maybe like 90% exist and continously comment on every rant that I open.
Maybe our reference/priority is different, I prefer playing game mostly.
Well that what I think, just random spawning before go to sleep mode.13 -
Product needs you to work on a new high priority project ASAP after you finish your current work, deadline ~4 weeks. Also product hasn't finished their side of the breakdown yet.
ugh i just wanna be retired3 -
Today, I read the mother of all instant messaging client statuses. And I am a fan of this person. It goes like...
"When writing a note, please proceed straight to the question, without asking 'do you have a minute', 'are you busy', etc. I always try to multi-task. If I am busy with higher priority tasks or the issue is complex, the reply can be delayed."1 -
The DEVRANT SEARCH could be improved.
Often wrong results are on top, because the algo accepts 1 different character and tags have no priority.
Example: I clicked on the tag "hangover".
Among the top results there were rants with "handover" and "hannover" (German city).
The first rant with the tag "hangover" was at position 18
Wouldnt the search result be better with another logic?
Priority 1: Tags with exactly the same word
Priority 2: Rants with exactly the same word
Priority 3: Tags with similar words/expressions
Priority 4: Rants with similar words/expressions -
And even worse there are plans to upgrade to WildFly (which is newer, up to date, more secure.. but this is put lower on the priority list by PM :/2
-
Really vague because of NDA bleh
For the first time since I started this job back in September 2021 none of the daily low-priority automation scripts for my department are broken. : D I was logged on an extra half hour yesterday to fix the last one, but I feel accomplished since I fixed many of them without assistance in the past few months. As apposed to how I asked questions regarding everything in my first few.
Let's see how long until something breaks due to changes outside of our control.
But until then I got harder tasks to focus1 -
Reading through the bugs list on Trello...
- change colour and style of button to make it more prominent
- change default for select box
- add a popup to explain the UI on 1st visit
- if I don't save the entry, show alert to user on exit
- remove the map button under the map that links via auto scroll to the map above it
- remove the settings options for the items we designed but you couldn't implement due to lack of time / budget / low priority
It goes on, seriously...
FFS1 -
When recruiters put json and rest APIs on higher priority than frameworks and stacks.
Do they even know how simple are those APIs comparing to frameworks!?2 -
I swear business people are so stupid. They take us off of a real priority programming project and then tell us to stop and send emails to gather reporting data.
I am a developer...not an email jockey. Get someone with a business degree and nothing better to do to do this shit. -
we need you to take over this high priority issue affecting our customers that your tech lead hasn't managed to solve yet
the fuck do you think i can do about this shit then?2 -
Just woke up to see my mic and mount got sent and upgradeded to priority post for free!
Woooooo, can finally start doing some recording soon :-D -
High priority Bugs from the legacy system were pushing productive work out of the sprint enough that a 1 year project due in 2 months was sitting on 6 months of backlog of just my work. There are days where having 20+ years at the company is not a bonus. Fortunately I finally got through to the boss that he wouldn't make any ground on the project at this pace and he had the PM step in. Last sprint I worked on the project nearly full time.
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Spent 8 hours in debugging a defect, just to know that code has been completely refactored, that defect is resolved, another critical defect to be fixed at high priority 😭😭😭😭😭😭 in the same code .. refactored by someone else 🥺🥺
And people call .. life of software engineers is so easy and cozy 🤔😰😢🥱4 -
get a high priority bug , look at code changes, a variable name getting refactored apparently created a class cast exception
something about this hypothesis doesn't seem right
i hate my job, welcome back from vacation2 -
Well ...
switch(priority)
{
default:
DoSomething();
break;
}
... I'm not sure if this switch is really necessary 😂 -
Business Rep: Hi dev guys, you know that priority 1 work you were doing? We've decided GDPR is important, can you sort it for Friday? OK, thanks, bye.
-
we need you to fix this bug that cannot be reproduced
ugh so now i have to go figure out how to reproduce it? i dont think this shit is even priority4 -
Lately with our client, everything has become very "urgent" and top priority. So much so that I’m asked to drop a top priority issue to tackle a new top priority issue, and then asked to drop that one too to take on another new “even more“ top priority task. In the end they’ll all have to be dealt with but dang I’m losing all sense of continuity, I’m losing my efficiency as my flow keeps on being broken by something new I have to jump to and in the end I’m kinda losing my sanity. Fuck this!1
-
Thanks Windows 10 April update:
i'm not even mad for using my network on high priority when you were downloading the update or taking 1 freaking hour of my working time to finish the updates just to add spam to my lockscreen and an uglier task view but if you could please at least not f**k up all my Wifi, bluetooth and video driver it would be great!
Still having problem with bluetooth connection and i re-installed drivers several times! -
Off Topic: so the doctor is prioritizing senior citizens in the line. I'm 30-40 years old. I was here around 12:30pm and already sent my appointment to the doctor's assistant. Now it is 3 hours already and I'm still not being called. There are new senior patients coming and after a few minutes they are being called. I approve senior priority but how about me? How long should I wait? Should the doctor always prioritize new senior patients coming in?
If only I new about this then I would have come here at night to not waste my time.3 -
Currently in our 4th cycle of manual regression testing for a release and still finding bugs. Automated tests? What are those? That sounds an awful lot like it would take time to implement. Time that could be spent fixing the bugs and getting the release out the door.
When release dates take priority over quality.... -
Fuck ticketing systems man.. jumped from a good job that i previously thought was going to be a deadend and jobhopped to a new one with a significant salary increase. Problem is that The stress levels increased 5x, and there’s significant rush to complete tasks that have sub optimal descriptions to put it nicely. The problem with that is that the lead doesn’t have enough time to properly write them and catching him during work hours for him to explain them is sometimes impossible. Sitting in limbo with 4-5 tickets open, all of them with high priority and stresing the fuck out.7
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Best Linux distro for NodeJS back end projects? Maybe I have to work with docker or VMs. I currently have Ubuntu Mate but I want to change. I have 8Gb of RAM and performance is what I need.
2nd Question with low priority: is anyone able to use office 365 without the online solution in any Linux distro?5 -
Can you get high priority issues on your PIP which is not related to Pip project but it was because of the feature you developed?4
-
TLDR: I don't feel the need to be working at top product companies anymore.
Brief:
The craze to be a developer in top product companies has literally worn off for me in the past few months since I am working from home.
Like if I have to continue this WFH lifestyle it literally won't matter if I am working for a top product company or a startup...
The priority has shifted towards
1. A good team
2. A well-natured and polite manager
3. A flexible working culture which is better suited for remote work
4. And obviously a good salary🤑5 -
* Left leave work a bit earlier, because I had driving lessons.
* Finished the issues I was working on and headed straight for to the school.
* Checks notifications
Coworker on that Merge Request I labled as ready: Did you forget to push?
I'm so sorry for being such a bad person 😅😭
At least it's nothing of priority 😔1 -
*last week, sprint retrospect meeting*
TL : "So next is dotenv . Hey dotenv, tell us what went well in the sprint, what went wrong and what could be improved"
le dotenv: "so all went good for me. i had just 5 tickets and i was able to complete them on time. i am grateful for team to provide support when needed in those tasks. no areas for improvement or wrong from my side"
*next sprint*
TL : "So dotenv, you have these 7 tickets with 3 being p0 priority. you also have 2 releases in addition to these tickets. also, since your senior is going to Malaysia for a nice fucking week, here is his additional 5 tickets with 3 p0 priority and 2 releases :)"
me : 🥲
----
I really need to push up my blame game :/2 -
Is exclusively being assigned bug tickets only for a whole sprint (they're not my bugs) while another dev does feature work a bad sign? I'm a Senior SDE but my domain Knowledge is far weaker than the other SDE 2, so he can get feature work done faster. Bug fixes are general project ones that are either suddenly very critical or lower priority and leads me to keep debugging some other aspect of the system (not much documentation sadly so have to check whole flow slowly to understand it, very financial based).
My manager also just yesterday said as a senior my expectation is to lead a project and we'll discuss the requirements of my role. This is my direct manager, the one who assigned me all the bugs is the project manager, who also acts a bit like an SDE sometimes. The problem is I want to deliver work my main manager suggests but I simply don't get the time due to suddenly high priority bugs occurring (last night 1 hour before I log off, other manager says to find root cause analysis of a high priority bug), this isn't an oncall rota or task either, just normal bugs all the time.
Is this a bad sign? Am I about to be PiPed?9 -
Hey guys, how would you rate iOS vs Android for privacy? I read recently that Android pulls up to 10x more data off of your phone (for data mining) than iOS and that overall, iOS is really the mobile OS of choice when privacy and control of your data is a priority.
Anyone have any hard evidence to support this?12 -
"This component is still using this thing which it shouldn't use." (Changing it won't reflect on the user in any way nor will it trigger a crash. It'd be nice to change it but who cares.)
"Feel free to update it."
Happy 1st birthday to low priority tech debt baby. May you grow up to have a long and fulfilling life.1 -
Little calculation:
you have probably around 20 days holiday per year.
After 60 year old everything is more or less a gift, so I wouldn't count on it.
Let's say you are going to work 30 years. That is 600 days to do whatever you want.
It's less than 2 years.
Shit.
Try to count how many days left of freedom.
Shit.
Suddenly all the things I have to work on today have lost all priority6 -
Devrant app bug report:
You can see the type content selection menu through the UI
To reproduce:
1. Have the rant of the week banner
2. Open type selection menu
3. Close the rant of the week banner
4. Now the menu is behind the rants
5 -
Now I've seen them all. Ticketing through OneNote. Each email was manually categorized by priority. They got around 20 emails per day. The responses, both from them and from the customers were one below the other, in sort of a forum model. Cool, not taking any more freelance jobs anymore. The money definitely doesn't make up for the amount of stupidity you come across with some people.
-
A game taking place inside an operating system. Like Tron but needs to have much more solid analogies. User's body as tty process. Some representation of scheduler priority and memory allocation. Forking. Children and zombies. Init.
Some process-ownable token representing file handles.
Network ports as portals through which data may be sent by acquiring a file handle and using it.
/proc, /mem, etc are extreme stretch goals.
Never really started because I couldn't decide how to represent all the different parts so they would all be consistent *and* entertaining
As an extension of the extreme stretch goals, a multiplayer functionality where players can shell into each other's game worlds ("computers") -
Got a high priority project that requires 100% my attention for 16 hours to get it out before start of next work day. Nobody even opened it for a week. 5 mins after the first person opened it, got an email saying that it isn't right and it needs to be corrected before Monday...2
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My Bachelor thesis still needs to be written. I already started attending some Master lectures, working part time as a software developer.
It looks like everything else takes priority over me finishing the B.Sc..
I fear not completing my course, but at the same time I can't throw my work away(I need the money) nor the master course(is a group project).
I have no idea what I should do right now. -
Got bored while pushing a large unity project, set Nice=-15
Works like a charm.
Actually, a GUI tool would be nice, something like xkill that sets the nice value of the owner of the clicked window to a really low value, for when you just want to get something done quickly. -
That feeling when you were sick as shh and almost good now after eating good pepperoni sausages and wine, suddenly getting energy and reminiscing about : (1. Biggest priority)
1. Am I really going to play with code side project it's Saturday
2. Nah I'm still going to play Dota or wow or idk
3. Laying in bed devranting and telling to myself am I that tired and lazy to do the above ones? Nah it's just socializing
4. Laying in the bed turning the phone display down ?
Yeah tough choices probably get some wine and do some music idk man -
don't you just hate, when this happens? translated from Slovak we call this "the system of the falling shit" you know this under "hot potato"
email:
from: marketing coworker
to: senior dev 1
* asks for a lot of stuff, deadline yesterday, high priority, on a site for which the jenkins build is crashing every once in a while, because we are migrating all the time so some folders are already deleted or not created yet and the build config is really strict *
forwarded from: senior dev 1
@senior dev 2
forwarded from: senior dev 2
@senior dev 3
forwarded from: senior dev 3
@junior me
ಠ_ಠ fuck me i guess ¯\_(ツ)_/¯1 -
In the last three days our team has had 4 people who were the final decider on priority for a single project.
Im staying here until my contract has ended but then I will tell my company they can find a new project for me...1 -
What will be your first priority -
1. Becoming PHP developer
2. Becoming JavaScript developer
Which one should I learn first??14 -
I cannot access one of production machines from home while behind VPN. I wrote to support that I need to access it right now and stated this is very urgent. They changed priority form high to low... access will be granted withing 2 weeks....1
-
It's pretty hard to work with relatives in the family. They expect too much from you. More overtime work, no or less pay, demands are somewhat unrealistic because they want their project on top priority and the list goes on. 🤔1
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How do ppl just keep coding. I can't stay on it for shit. Anything that comes to mind will distract me and keep me from starting or working on.... It sucks, its not even like i dislike coding. I actuay enjoy it once i start but games wirh friends n shit always take Priority for some reason :(8
-
I recently recommended that we fix a gap in the current CSRF implementation.
I’m asked by a fucking business guy that if we haven’t seen an issue till now, why is this a priority?
Should I demo the vulnerability? Why can’t they fucking trust the people that they hire? It’s not like I wanna do it for some selfish motive. -
So, towards the end of a particularly disruptive Sprint, the Product Owner Manager, who asked for A3 pictures explaining the flow to him and had multiple meetings with us and business and rewrote a spec of something already in development and changed priority of stories, wants to know... what is taking so long and business wants all these changes next week.
-
!rant
Me and my friend just launched the invitation phase for our paid service hookdoo at www.hookdoo.com
Service enables you to quickly set up webhooks with minimal effort that can run your code on your fleet of servers.
If you are interested, request an invitation.
I'll make sure to give devRant users a priority over others, and some bonus credits as well :-)6 -
That moment when you have 2 deadlines approaching for 2 projects and then your client gives you another project with higher priority.
-
I always put my work and tasks in a queue..
But with time that queue becomes Priority Queue with elements of my choice only.
Fuckin bullshit happen always -
The more I learn, the more easily I get triggered at little things.
Read heapq python documentation to implement a min priority queue
Intuitively wrote heapq.push and heapq.pop in my code
Got to know that it's actually heapq.heappush and heapq.heappop
TRIGGERED! -
First assignment of the algorithms, data structures and computability module Im doing for my degree.
Priority queues can all eat a bowl of dicks.
It’s just an insert method, I can insert a node into an empty queue, I can insert a new node at the start of the queue.
But trying to insert a node into a specific place in the queue is making my brain hurt.4 -
Me: hey there is too many task priority level 0
Manager: there's no problem, parallelized them !
...1 -
Is Chromebook good enough for web development? Are there good ide available?
My priority is a good portable laptop.11 -
I want to know how people here handle a vague request when the upper management also confused and cannot provide feedback? Does doing thing that I feel has high priority is the right choice?2
-
Be me:
Said on Friday the API was looking unstable.
Get a text on Sunday afternoon that SHTF.
Guess what got made a priority on Tuesday? -
So I spent about a day on this brilliant priority calculation formula just to come to the conclusion that FIFO would be a better approach for now1
-
So we're supposed to test even the most imporbable edge cases to make sure that our software is reliable. But there is a limit. We let a marketing intern go bug hunting. We use the same component in two tabs of our SPA, but we distinguish them through some parameters. The intern found that if you switch back and forth between those two tabs super fast a couple of times, the program for some reason confuses those two tabs and swaps them. Now management has listed it as a priority. When are the customers _ever_ going to do that?!4
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Okay so , I asked something about my supervisor about a certain thing in programming. And they were like " do search about it"..... 🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂If I find that on internet I would never ask you. You are on the least priority, to ask. Like? Can you be just tell ? You are experienced and I'm industry for years and me who just join 4 days ago....
Tsk tsk5 -
When you have a BA who types things to prove that they do work, then you get to be the BA too. Good thing that architecture, test design, code quality, and sanity aren't really a priority.
-
Just finished connecting my task manager (to-do list basically)using(angularjs,php)to my back end(it used localstorage previously now uses php and MySQL) now I can login ,register new users,create new tasks, set as priority.
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my favorite is to keep a cache of "gimmes"
the idea is to just keep a collection of tasks that need done bit are super easy and really low priority. the theory is the same as doing a mundane task - you simply mindlessly code through the some tasks allowing you to think through things in a new way and hopefully clearing up your block...
...plus you're still mildly productive
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