Manager: I just think you are being too negative. Like sometimes other people have opinions too and we should hear them out before saying no.

Me: Well your opinion is the devs shouldn't be able to estimate their own tasks and you should decide on our behalf how long something should take.

You also want to decide what tech stack we use, because you followed a "Hello World" tutorial last night and it worked out for you.

Just because you got a simple webpage up and running in 2 hours doesn't mean all websites take 2 hours with the tech. Were not sitting in the corner laughing that you think its taking us 3 weeks to build this.

I'm not being negative simply because I don't agree with you. I'm not being unreasonable if I say I can do 6 weeks work in 2 weeks. And although it sounds offensive, i'm actually doing you a favour by telling you to get your head out of your ass

Client: we need you to give us access to the code ASAP. We don't like this black box approach.

Me: You have always had access to the code. It is here on this bitbucket repo and your usernames have admin access.

Client: We want the code moved to our GitHub before EOD.

I check out how to move repos over and it's fairly easy.

Me: just give me access to create a repo on your GitHub account and you can have the code moved over.

Client: Sorry it's late in the day and we stepped out to get drinks. (It was 2:30 pm). Not sure why you think there is a rush on this, we'll handle it first thing next week.

Me: WTF

Was at my sisters place a little ago and somehow we came at the subject of her laptop.
For everyone who thinks I'm posting this solely to hate on windows, I'm not. This really happened and if you don't believe it, well, so be it, I guess.
Also keep in mind that's she's using a stock version without anything except for word and itunes installed.

She got it a couple of years ago and I dual booted it for her (windows + ubuntu). I fully expected her to use windows because of office and outlook etc.

Asked her anyways:

Me: So, you've got dual boot, although I think already know the answer, what system do you use mostly? (I didn't even consider that there was a possibility that the answer would be ubuntu or linux)
Sister: Ubuntu!
Me:
Me:
Me:
Me:
Me:
Me:
Me:
Me: 😵
Me: Sorry, what? You're not using windows as primary system?!
Sister: No. It at first takes that motherfucking system about 5 minutes to reach the FUCKING LOGIN SCREEN.
Me: Ow, that's bad :/
Me: *turns laptop on and indeed, it takes a fuckton of time*
Me: Is the password still the same as when I set it up for you?
Sister: Yesss.
Me: *types the password, it's working, loading screen appears*
Sister: Would you like a coffee?
Me: Uhm.... sure? But that would take you about 10-15 minutes to make.......?
Sister: Yes. And that's exactly how long it takes before that fucking piece of shit called windows has finally loaded the FUCKING DESKTOP.
Me: 😅
Me: Okay but it can't be that bad, right? I mean, I hate windows but you mostly need it for studies and such and as you know I'm not judging you for tha......
Sister: YES IT IS THAT FUCKING BAD. WHEN I'M IN CLASS, IT TAKES HALF THE FUCKING CLASS TO LOAD BEFORE I CAN OPEN WORD OR WHAT-THE-FUCK EVER.
THAT'S WHY I USE UBUNTU PRIMARILY, BECAUSE, ALTOUGH IT'S NOT MY FAVOURITE SYSTEM, IT. JUST. FUCKING. WORKS.

Well, I did definitely NOT see that one coming!

There is some bloatware on there but definitely as bad as what would cause this. Virus scan turned up empty. No. Fucking. Clue.
It's not a gaming laptop or anything but come on, it should run either windows or linux very well.

Hi, im new here! Im super noob and just starting in code :)

I'm impressed about how everyones english among DevRant is nearly flawless - it's users are based all around the globe and still, I know nobody in real life who is even near fluent in speaking English (fellow German potatoes will probably know that feel)

Awesome! 😀

Today is the 2nd anniversary of devRant unofficial UWP! 😁

Brief summary of the last year:
- A total of 36 updates have been released this year, becoming now 60 in total;
- v2 passed through the closed beta phase with the help of 15 devRanters;
- v2 public beta has been released for everyone;
- The app received (beta) support for Xbox One and Microsoft Hub (becoming available for all the UWP devices: PC, Mobile, HoloLens, Surface Hub, Xbox One);
- The official Issue Tracker on GitHub has been created;
- 35 out of 48 issues/feature requests on the Issue Tracker have been solved;
- The v2 got featured by the official Microsoft Design twitter account;
- The app reached more than 2,000 acquisitions from the Microsoft Store (about 300 active users everyday with an average 20 minutes daily session, ~2.5 sessions per day), +100% since last year;
- Still maintains a solid 4.8 out of 5 average rating on the Microsoft Store (4.9 and even 5.0 in some countries, based on ~300 reviews);
- Softpedia editor has reviewed it 4.5 out of 5, becoming the best devRant client on that website, followed by devRantron (with a solid 4 out of 5);
- Has been featured as "App of the Day" by "myAppFree";

If you're not yet part of the UWP ranters community, download the app now:
https://microsoft.com/store/apps/...

Link to the rant for the 1st anniversary with the full story about this app:
https://devrant.com/rants/599066

One of the new guys on another team calls the Internet the Innernet because he doesn't hear the T. He both days and writes it as Innernet.

He told me today he wants to switch to our network team.

Guys, I am getting married in one hour 🎉

Change the code and see what broke. This is the only way to understand your code

aws :-D wonderwoman spidey business partnership

Found this old xkcd comic... so ahead of it's time...

https://xkcd.com/743/

"But I don't know where to start..."

"... just start typing, be willing to mess up, and if you get lost just start over with better understanding from messing up. Eventually it'll work."

Quora be like

Someones keyboard just stopped working in my job.
They called the helpdesk and i told them to unplug the keyboard from the back of the PC and try a different usb port before i send them down a new keyboard.
Their reply?

‘How am i meant to do that? I mean... *laughs* I didn’t go to college for this kind of stuff. I know you did but you need to explain it in English for me instead of using technical terms.’

....

So i had to describe what a USB looks like, and tell her how to follow the (only) skinny black cable she has on her desk, down the back of the desk and into the PC. She got overwhelmed by this cable being the same colour as the thicker VGA cable, so ended up unplugging everything!
Its fine though, as when she plugged them all back in, everything was back working.
She finished the call by saying:

“Like, i know how to use a computer but I just don’t understand all this technical mumbo jumbo, like USB’s and stuff? How should i know about that?”

...

I sincerely think interviews need to have just 5 minutes dedicated to the person showing that they know what a bloody USB is!!, can turn on/off a PC, open outlook, and follow basic instructions.

Ugh I work with idiots 😢

Act I

Me (Lead Developer), Boss (Head of IT), CEO

> enter stage left CEO

CEO > "Alright Boss, give it to me straight. Are we going to be able to release app x by this date?"

Boss > "Yup we'll have a beta release on that date"

> exit stage right CEO

Me > types long email to Boss outlining exactly why we won't be able to release app x anywhere near that date, beta or otherwise, because:
1. We have a development team of 2
2. I've never developed an iOS app before
3. Developer 2 is still trying to understand git, because
3a. Developer 2 isn't even a developer (but he's doing iOS front-end so w/e)
4. We don't have the required database systems in place
5. Or CRM
6. Or CPQ
7. We'll need to conduct a security audit

Boss > "yeah, but CEO is gonna need to hear that date a few more times before he can fully understand"

Me > *internally screaming BUT YOU HAVEN'T TOLD HIM THAT AT ALL*
"ok cool just glad we're on the same page on that one"

How to conduct yourself in a job interview
Simple test"Write a for loop".
First, write some nonsense bullshit for twenty minutes. Then, when you realize time is up, pass to the next question. After write more nonsense bullshit in SQL and jQuery, it's time to breath fast and panic.
Deliver your exam.
Pack your stuff and go to a cave where nobody ever will find you, cry the next three years and commit to a life of self punishment, shame and tears.
That's how you nail a job interview, suckers.

April fools by M$. (it had reset and off them not just this one)

Happy April Fool's!

- Windows 8 == Best OS
- Apple is fairly priced
- PHP > C++
- Java === JavaScript
- facebook > devrant
- Github useless, use .zip
- Comic Sans best terminal font
- Nobody needs a web developer because Wordpress much better
- Linux is for virgins

10 reasons to know binary:

1 computer class
10 nerdy jokes

Yup...

Today a potential client contacted me after seeing my works and said they were really interested in having me work on their project. Then, they demanded that I scheduled a call with them, using their calendar app. I did, just to them cancel it a few hours later. Without any explanation.

Deal with people is so discouraging sometimes.

Developer: We have a problem.
Manager: Remember, there are no such things as problems, only opportunities.
Developer: Well then, we have a DDoS opportunity.

WOOOOOOOO!!!

Silicon Valley season 5 episode 1 just aired on HBO. 10/10 would recommend to developers.

"The difference between SSDs and HDDs is that HDDs store data on spinning CDs inside the drive"
-- a 3rd year CS student

Spinning CDs?? CDs?!?!?

I got unemployed 6 months ago. I tried to find work for about a month but the answer was always "we call you back when a position is available" and "let me ask the team if they think you are good". So far no one responded, then I got tired of that.
The next month I became self-employed so i can make contracts and work for more smaller projects. Not too much time later I met a company that offered me a long time contract for them. I don't hesitated to accept it.
Luckily since then I have this company and a few smaller jobs.
It was a steep change in my life but was worth it.

So I was wondering, in this era of technology, with so many tools and options to take and share notes, who does still prefer to take notes on paper?

While I use tools like Trello to list all the tasks with the team, for my own notes I use paper sheets, as I find easier to check on them.
Besides, if I'm stuck with something, I can doodle a bit (I even use a pencil instead of a pen :p)

Boss: it’s all wrong, this was working last week.

Me: we have moved to a new data api and I’m in the progress of moving the views over as it’s new data has different names and more detail.

Boss: well fix it now I have a meeting with the client tomorrow morning. (It’s 3pm)

About 30mins later.

Boss: I guess I can say that we are migrating over to the new api, they should be fine with that.

So, as the lead UX/UI designer, I was working with the marketing officer on the new e-mail template of the company. It took us at least one week to get a good settle – 'cause, you know, she's so skilled on that – doing back and forth and arguing on every detail.

Then she sent me a PPT file with the content and wording for each kind of e-mail.
After 3 days of work, I finished implementing the template and pushed the project in production.

~3 months later
MO: How's your work going on the template?
Me: Erm, sorry? You mean, the e-mails?
MO: Yes! Can you show me the result?
Me: Well, the result is online for...like...3 months?
*Surprised* MO: Hum, yeah? But I didn't validate it!
*Wince* Me: Well, yes, you did, we worked together on it and we finally found a nice settle.
MO: Yes, but the content? Can you send me one of each kind so I can double-check?
Me: ...
*to the rescue* CEO (and husband of MO): It's OK, I've already validate them.
MO: Oh, ok. But I want to double-check. I'll do it later, ok.

~3 weeks later
MO: Can you tell me how I can receive the registration e-mail?
Me: ...
*to the rescue, joking* CTO: Well, did you try to turn your computer off and on again?
MO: Oh, you really think this will work? Let me save my work first!
Me: *BOOOOM*

TL;DR: The marketing officer of my company does nothing productive and is making the company losing a lot of money, but she also make me lose my time for bullshits.
At least I can laugh about it on devRant.

This is not a rant but this is great

I GOT THAT JOB OFFER YES! AT LEAST I WON'T SEARCH FOR JOB AFTER OUR GRADUATION. I LIKE THIS FEELING YES!!!