Details
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SkillsJS, Suitescript
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LocationUK
Joined devRant on 12/28/2019
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I was told back in the 80's I wouldn't have a calculator every where I go... well, guess what mother fuckers, I don't just have a calculator everywhere I go, but it's a full computer, a supercomputer by 1980's standards, and I literally make a living writing fucking software for it...
dicks.19 -
JavaScript type comparisons. They are annoying, some times they don't make sense and they promote bug making.2
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All the stupid date functions where the days range from 1 to 31 but the months range from 0 to 1120
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Fake or not I think all HR should learn to be straightforward by saying "I'm sorry you're not qualified" rather than telling people "We will get back to you"
600years from that time, it's unlikely they will get back to you.
save us the stress dickheads!8 -
Wanna mess with users? Take
“OK” and “Cancel”.
You know what looks visually the same but means the opposite?
“NO” and “Confirm”.
Deploy that little ui update overnight and watch the world burn.20 -
Family think I make websites and webapps
What I actually do is exchange high quality memes on Discord1 -
software engineers be like “i don’t read books” then proceed to read api documentation for 4 hours straight6
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I picked up my phone for something important. Devrant was already on the screen, read a rant. Commented. And now I forgot why I’d picked up the phone.5
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Programming tip of the day:
Several hours of trial and error can save you many minutes of reading the docs.9 -
haveibeenpwned: MASSIVE SECURITY BREACH AT COMPANY X, MILLIONS OF RECORDS EXPOSED AND SOLD, YOUR DATA IS AT RISK, please change your password!
Company X website: Hey your password expired! Please change it. Everything's fine, wanna buy premium? The sun is shining. Great day.1 -
Today, I interviewed a candidate for an entry position. I noticed our job post had a requirement of 30+ years of experience in C++.
I fixed it to "Basic implementation skill in C++".8 -
FUCKING LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE!
I NEED TO FUCKING WORK!
NO I DON'T CARE ABOUT POLITICS.
NO I DON'T CARE ABOUT YOUR RANDOM FUCKING DREAMS.
NO I DON'T CARE ABOUT COINS OR THE PRICE OF GOLD.
NO I DON'T CARE ABOUT SOME EXPENSIVE PLANE OR BOAT OR CAR YOURE NEVER GOING TO BUY.
NO I DON'T CARE ABOUT CHINA.
NO I DON'T CARE ABOUT YOUR DRAMA.
I DON'T CARE ABOUT ANY OF THE ARBITRARY FUCKING BULLSHIT YOU BLABBER ABOUT.
STOP. WASTING. MY. TIME.
I'M THE ONLY ONE PAYING THE BILLS
SHUT THE FUCK UP AND LET ME DO IT!26 -
800 line file.
Could be 300 lines but despite having version control, the devs didn't have the balls to remove any of the code. Just commented it out or appended _old to the function names.
"It's easier to undo than version control"
Sure, but how much time are you spending wading through the waist-high swamp of shitty, useless code?7 -
Bugfix I am most proud of?
The ones where I dont just fix a bug, but refactor an old (possibly shitty) feature thanks to new knowledge, making the next person's job easier in the process :)3 -
A user opened an issue on Github saying something doesn't compile. Fair enough, it didn't.
Another user comments saying "I have the exact same issue but after the program launches"
Bitch no, that's not the same issue. Not at all.4 -
FUCK WORDPRESS
FUCKING FUCK THIS GODFORSAKEN CMS
FUCK THE GUY WHO USED PLUGINS WHO BREAK WHEN I TRY TO UPGRADE FROM PHP 5 TO PHP 7
FUCK THE THEME BUILDER WHICH WON'T WORK UNLESS I SWITCH TO PHP 7
FUCK THIS ENTIRE WEBSITE WHICH DEPENDS ON A PHP VERSION THAT HAS REACHED END OF LIFE ONE FUCKING YEAR AGO
FUCK THE OLD PEOPLE THAT ADMINISTER IT, AND DON'T WANT TO LEARN HOW TO USE NEW PLUGINS AND KEEP USING THE OLD, BROKEN AND UN-MAINTAINABLE ONES
special mention: fuck this one fucking plugin who claims to implement paypal when it doesn't actually work, and the 2 fucking thousand of JQuery lines I have to go through to fix it11 -
Less recruiter and more recruiting company.
Specifially: Robert Half.
t;ldr version:
Robert Half is scammy as hell, and they 'fired' me for quitting when my girlfriend got raped. Really.
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Robert Half took half of my paychecks for the entire duration of my contracts with them. I didn't know right away because, as a policy, they hide how much the hiring company is paying for you, and they also forbid the company from telling you. (The company pays RHI, RHI pays you). Makes sense why they hide it because it certainly pissed me off.
Long story short, I worked for a php dev shop through them (after telling them to lower their fees or i'd walk), worked there for awhile (while remote moonlighting because why not!), and quit. I quit because my girlfriend at the time had just gotten raped, and with the emotionall fallout from that, there was no way I could focus on two jobs and be there for her. My boss understood and let me leave, though it put him in a bind.
The next day, I got a call from the regional manager of Robert Half. He was a total tool. He demanded to know if I quit, didn't care why I quit, proceeded to "educate" me in the finer points of why that was unprofessional and why i'm unemployable, accused me of lying about idr what, and finally switched into legalese to say "I regret to inform you that you can no longer consider Robert Half as a means of employment." (or something along those lines) and hung up on me. Asshole. I hope various large someones rape him so he has an inkling what it's like to be objectified and thrown away like trash.
Guy was an asshole; probably still is.
RHI was awful and scammy; probably still is, too.
Wasn't really a fan of the job either.
So at the end of it, I wasn't out anything but some patience and serenity (a lot of serenity). I kept the first (remote) job, was there for my girlfriend, and helped her through everything.
But yeah, Robert Half?
They can fucking go to hell.18 -
Got matched with a cute girl on Tinder. She was a recruiter. She didn't want to talk about anything other than this "great" opportunity...12
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My most awkward recruiter interaction?
Just graduated college and got 'suckered' by an programming position ad that turned out to be a recruiting company. It was fine since they charge the company for their services and not me.
After a couple of weeks of waiting (they initially promised I would/could have at least 3 interviews a week, which hadn't happened.) I decided to start looking again on my own, found a position, and I was hired.
About two months later I get a phone call:
<skipping the pleasantries>
R: "I see you are working for D, congratulations. I've started the paperwork for our reimbursement."
Me: "Reimburse for what? I found that job on my own."
R: "D is one of the companies we work with and when we submitted your resume, they told us you were already hired."
Me: "And?"
R: "And you signed a contract and now its time to pay. The fees only start at $500"
Me: "Not me. I have the contract, it states, in the second paragraph, I am not responsible for any hiring fees."
<couple of seconds of silence>
R: "Yes, but that is only if we negotiated the contact. Since you went behind our back, we couldn't start the process"
Me: "And?"
R: "And its a breach of contract."
Me: "I'm not a lawyer, I don't understand what you're saying. It says right here on the contract I signed, I don't pay any fees. No where does it say I'm not allowed to look for a job on my own. Right?"
R: "Um..yea..right..right...but you were hired by one of our contracted companies."
Me: "No way I would have known that. Maybe you should have set up an interview long before now."
<R is getting pretty angry at this point>
R: "I'm sure we gave you list of companies we work with. Contacting those companies is a breach of contract. Unless you want our lawyers to get involved, the fee is only $500. Failing to honor your side of the agreement and we'll be forced to contact your employer and begin garnishing your wage until the fee is paid. You don't want that, do you?"
Me: "There was no list and I am allowed to find a job on my own. Again, I'm not responsible for you not setting up an interview so do whatever you think you can do. Have a good night"
<I hang up>
About a week later..
Boss: "Got a phone call from XYZ Recruiting requesting a wage garnishment. Do you know anything about that?"
<I explain the situation>
Boss: "Oh good grief. We've worked with them a couple of times and we contact them on an individual basis for new hires. You're fine"
Me: "You're not going to garnish my paycheck?"
Boss: "No no no, that's not how this works. He was probably trying to scare you into paying their crazy fees."
Me: "What if they get their lawyers involved? I don't want to cause any trouble"
Boss: "Ha ha...XYZ Recruiting is a couple of guys in an office and we have lawyers on the 3rd floor who eat and breath this shit. They know that and you won't hearing from them again."5