Programmers are the wizards of tommorow. Period

Zoned out...

Recently made an account on Instagram.
Uploaded two pics
Deleted both of them
Now I've -2 posts

How programmers comment their code

Perfect combination

Nobody in IT ever smiles this much

Gameboard

The secret to less stress!

A sys admin in his natural environment.

1. Buy boxes of orange juice, almost past their expiry date.
2. Put boxes on the hot office windowsill for a few weeks.
3. Cool down juice in fridge.
4. "Hey dear coworker, would you like a refreshing juice box on this hot spring day?"
5. Watch coworker retch and vomit, spitting blue-grayish juice over his desk, crying: "Why would you give me old moldy juice without checking the date?"
6. "Do you remember when you told me you didn't have time for unit tests? THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS, DAVE, THIS IS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENS WHEN YOU DEPLOY UNTESTED CODE.... NOW FINISH YOUR JUICE!"

Totally agree...

In Europe, we use € instead of $ in jQuery.

Google => googled

Duck duck go => duck duck went?

🤔

I wish installing updates in Windows 10 was as easy as:

sudo apt-get update
sudo apt-get upgrade

credits to SoftEngr page (imstillonfb)

Decided to give WSL (Windows Subsystem for Linux) a chance.........it was a BAD idea.

I go to the directory of my Node project and do "yarn" to install the packages.

Bash freezes while Yarn is linking dependencies. At this point I don't even know if it's still doing its job in the background or not, so I try to Ctrl+C.

Ctrl+C doesn't work either, I have to force-close the console.

When I try to open bash again, it doesn't even open. The only way to solve this is to re-login to Windows.

I appreciate Microsoft's intent in making their OS a better home for developers, but they still have a long way to go.

P.S.: No, this isn't a Yarn issue, everything works perfectly in both Linux and Windows :)

cropped

During my university days, we had a basic programming quiz. One of the questions is to "write a program that will determine if a number is even or not".

An annoying seatmate asked me silently if his answer is correct. Then I saw his window:

=========================
> Enter an even number: 10
> The number is even.
=========================

I told him it's correct.

After the test his answer is marked as wrong.

"You told me it's correct!", he said to me.

I approached the professor, and told him that his answer is correct.

"What if I enter 3?", professor said.

I told him, "User Error".

Owner of company I freelance for: I need you to find out what CMS [website] is running in.

[Checking...]

Me: It's running in Drupal

Owner: Prove to me that it's running in Drupal, because she's saying you're wrong.

Me: Who the hell is "she"?

Owner: The boss over at [PR Company we do work for]

Me: Is she a developer?

Owner: No, of course not. She barely knows how to run a computer.

Me: Then tell I said it's running in Drupal, and if she wants proof, tell her I'm the developer she has begged to fix two other failing projects and I have delivered both times ahead of schedule.

Owner: If you don't show me proof, I'll fire you. I don't need attitude from my employees.

Me: A.) I'm not your employee, you are my client. I don't clock in for you and you don't withhold taxes from my pay. B.) If that's how you want to be, tell her to use terminal and cURL the website for the response header, as well as cross-reference folder structure for CSS/JS file inclusion to show it's running in Drupal.

Owner: What the fuck is terminal?

Me: If you don't know what terminal is, neither will she, meaning you have no business telling me how to do my job. Stick with assigning me tasks and let me use my expertise to get them done. Micromanaging need not apply here, mmm'kay pumpkin?

Owner: You sure are grouchy today.

Me: Yep...

When i see people running notepad through wine on linux machine.

GG discord

nice cake 👌

Amen for that

Slept for 14 hours straight. That doesn't feel right.

A man flying in a hot air balloon suddenly realizes he’s lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts to get directions, "Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?"

The man below says: "Yes. You're in a hot air balloon, hovering 30 feet above this field."

"You must work in Information Technology," says the balloonist.

"I do" replies the man. "How did you know?"

"Well," says the balloonist, "everything you have told me is technically correct, but It's of no use to anyone."

The man below replies, "You must work in management."

"I do," replies the balloonist, *"But how'd you know?"**

"Well", says the man, "you don’t know where you are or where you’re going, but you expect me to be able to help. You’re in the same position you were before we met, but now it’s my fault."

This one 😂😂

Most embarrassing interview rejection was not even in person, it was over the phone.

The company that I was going to work for (quite a big one mind you), scheduled to phone me at 2PM, I was preparing mentally for 2PM, so I took my girlfriend to lunch at 1. Just to relax and calm myself before the phoned me.

It was 34 degrees (celcius - I think that's about 93 farenheit? somewhere close) outside and I was waiting for her to finish her smoke (she was in the smoking area).

They phoned me, and it caught me completely off-guard. My years of knowledge just seemed to flush down the toilet at that moment, and I utterly felt stupid talking to the guy over the phone. It was a first for me, and I hope that it never happens again - he basically stopped me, told me that I had better not apply before I know what I am talking about (as I was wasting his time), and then put down the phone on me..

Worst part was that my girlfriend came back right then and asked me if I am ready for the interview. I hung my head in shame because I was ashamed to tell her that I fucked it up, because you know, I kind of needed the job (the one I had at the stage was shitty).

Sounds about right for any project manages out there

A mini computer + mini printer = mini picture!

Would you like to hear a TCP joke? 😂