Me: "Oh right I still had to fix that"
Me: *fixes thing*
Me: *checks on staging to make sure it all works*
Thing: *works absolutely fine*
Me: "Cool, let's promote it"
Me: *updates production stack*
Me: *checks on production to make sure it works*
Thing: *still broken*

dsfhjh dsaghdsaupot nvhudfot vnhgue

Someone just used the term normal bug.... That crashed production last night...

*devRant was down*

Open devRant to rant about devRant being down

Oh, wait..

LinkedIn: Are you finding difficult to socialize while wearing mask? Here some tips for...

Me: Just shut up! I am enjoying this

after working on JS for months ... I realised that I have started to forget HTML & css... :(

What is the functionality that you have always wanted to have in a blog???

Need suggestions.

> Please, something that makes sense in a blog.

I hate it when non-devs (HR, Customer Services,..) treat developers as if they're some type of 'weird non-humans'.
Whatever gives them that pretentious right to just label people like that? There are developers with emotions and humanity too!

When you stop freelancing because clients don’t spend enough to keep you making enough money to continue freelancing for a living. But then they come back begging you to keep working on their stuff because suddenly they have enough money and a need and because they can’t seem to find anyone who can do it as good as you did. But even with them handing you new cash money all you want to do is not do that stuff anymore. But money.

Juniors nowadays are so lazy.

J: How to do X?
M: Did you try google this?
J: No I thought you will give me a solution

Thanks God there will be no competition for me in the future...

Have you ever wondered we programmers have so many strong communities.... Stackoverflow, devRant, Reditt, etc...
No other profession has such communities... Why? Why?
Because, we haven't built one for them.... 😂😁

Developer: We have a problem.
Manager: Remember, there are no such things as problems, only opportunities.
Developer: Well then, we have a DDoS opportunity.

When a hiring manager wants 5+ years experience in Swift.

Swift release date = June 2, 2014

😂👍🖕

My girlfriend dumped me after I named a class after her. She felt I treated her like an object.

"A different error message! Finally some progress!"

substring, substr, slice.
Choose wisely.

So... Yesterday I ordered a meal and it had whole jalapenos in it. I didn't order jalapeños. I love the taste but I hate toilet visits after. Hence, was putting them aside. But then I got into that new code, jumping around this new project I'll be working on. We were getting intimate. I liked the architecture, I liked it a lot - it was using event sourcing and respected CQRS. Suddenly I realised I ate everything. Including jalapeños. And the only reason I noticed is because I was eating with my hands. And my eye got watery. And I wiped it.

So, yeah. Yesterday for the first time in my life I was pouring milk into my eyes. Does this count as a proper dev rant? I don't know. Fuck the protein interface that can't process simple food orders, though.

Comment on a GitHub issue on one of my repos:

"Almond I posted this feature request last month, please start to work on it in your free time"

Dude, that's just made it a whole lot less likely I'll even give that feature request the time of day. Take your entitled arse attitude to the bank and pay me to do it if you care that much.

Also, free time?!?! Hahahaha.

Tomorrow I might just say fuck it and make a blanket fort office

We need a bot that detects green dots who added “India” in their location.

All the stupid date functions where the days range from 1 to 31 but the months range from 0 to 11

A must-read 😂

Me: good day, how can I help you?
Client: *explains issue*
Me: alright, let's take a loo.... *AACHOOOO*
.
.
M: my apologies sir, that came out of nowhe... *ACHOOO*
M: do you have a second sir? My apologies!
C: sure man take your time 😁

*30 seconds later, nose seems to have calmed down*

M: back I am, apologies for the inconvenience!
C: no problem, it happens!
M: where was I?.... Right, I was going t...
*ACHOOOOOOOOOOO*
*ACHOOOOOOO*
AH... AH... AAAAH..... ACHOOOOO*
M: I'm very sorry, I'm going to put you through to a collegue!
*puts through to collegue*
*goes to bathroom*
.
.
*returns to desk*

*tringgggg*
Me: good afternoon sir, how may I hel... *A-MOTHERFUCKING-CHOOOOO* (thinking: oh for fucking fucks sake)
C: bless you!
M: thank you! Apologies, I seem to be having a snee.. *CHOOOOOOOO*
.
.
.
*sniffs a few times*
- zing attack.

*collegue yells at me to transfer my call*
*transfers call*

Me: thanks man, idk what's wrong with me hahah... *ACHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO*

OH FUCKING HELL 😠

Today I decommissioned an old server, that had an uptime of 4130 days.

solving algorithms and ds problems :-

In C++ - I hate pointers.
In Java - I miss pointers

Recently made an account on Instagram.
Uploaded two pics
Deleted both of them
Now I've -2 posts

This is a really accurate changelog .

select the whole line and hit delete or backspace on your keyboard? nah

ctrl + x

PROGRAMMER - A person who can interact with a program without an interface.

Morning conversation with wife.

As she puts a stainless steel water bottle on the counter

She: can you make a water bottle for our daughter before school.

Me: I'm not sure, does it have to look like this one, I don't have any training working with metals. But if I have full control over the design. I may be able to come up with something.

She: that not funny, why do you always do that.

Me: do what, that is exactly what you told me to do.

A little later.....

She: I'm running late, can you make sure "everything" up stairs is unplugged..... (She means her curling iron)

I can't wait until she comes home.........;-)

This is so me