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joke/meme

My employer has this really cool thing. Where if I do my job very well, I get to do other peoples jobs too!

undefined employer fml

Conversation with my Boss

B: Are u a hacker?
M: No
B: We need a hacker?
M: Why?
B: Because X department wants to do a hackathon.

undefined hackaton boss

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Interviewer:Explain us deadlock and we'll hire you !

Me:Hire me and I'll explain it to you..

undefined java pun job deadlock interview

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At the ending part of the interview, I asked a final question to the HR.

Me: "So, what language is mostly used here?"

HR: "Since we're dealing with customers from different countries, English."

undefined wk48

9

When you have the users test your application

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Any devs from CIA's Frankfurt department here? I can't remember if I shut my TV off before I left home, can you check?
KTHXBYE

undefined

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Job offers be like:
We need a VIRGIN with atleast 2 years EXPERIENCE of SEX...

undefined jobs job offers

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About Brexit.

undefined brexit

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CSS is easy until you open your website in another browser.

undefined css piece of shit fuck fuck ios safari ie11 kill yourself

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Interviewer: "I checked your Github, your side projects look very interesting! Tell me about your other hobbies."

Me: "other hobbies?"

undefined code is life hobbies interview

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Ghost in the Shell (2017)

undefined ascii i need to study for exams shell i have too much free time ghost bash ghost in the shell

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Me : I need to give Tom a wash.

GF (Smashed table, angrily) : Tom is your Keyboard, stop giving everything a name.

Me : you hurt poor George!

undefined

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This never gets old...

undefined javascript jquery you're doing it wrong

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The honest website ever... 🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻

undefined agreement terms and conditions website

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"The server is flooded!"

"With requests? DDoS?"

"No."

undefined server flood server room flood water ddos

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Oh yes I know how it feels.

undefined bash

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How to vertically center in css..

undefined vertical alignment vertical center suicide css google

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I just spent 5 minutes trying to fix an error saying that I am missing a ";".

I saw a ; at the end of statement but I kept on getting the error.

After cleaning the monitor the ; disappeared and I was able to see the problem.

Clean your monitor once in a while.

undefined til

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But that is my email....

undefined #email #registered

9

What do you call a snake that’s exactly 3.14 feet long?

A πthon

undefined sorry not sorry

13

"A software Engineer? Why don't you do a real job instead of fixing people's computers?"

- ex gf 2011

"I'm proud you do something you love"

- wife 2016

undefined wk18

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Listening to two girls argue about how thin their eyebrows are is what you deserve for forgetting your headphones at home

undefined headphones torture

9

Got a job with EA
Went down like this during the interview

Hiring Manager: your second part of your resume seems to be missing?
Me: second part is $20
Hiring Manager: Welcome on board

undefined

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Pleb: "What's your job?"
Me: "I'm a programmer."
Pleb: "Great, because I have a problem with my pri..."
Me: "STOP! Last person who thought I was a printer support serf got strangled with the printer cable."
Pleb: "But it's a wireless printer."
Me: "Right, where's the power cord?"

undefined justified

5

My 9 year old son checks out the source code of every website he visits. If he finds something he doesn't understand, he bounces it off me. I love the snot outta that kid ❤️❤️❤️.

undefined proud father

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I thought the antenna actually did something... nevermind

undefined useless feature

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On his first week at job, the junior says:

Hey guys! Check out this new website I found! You'll thank me later.

undefined

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Got the best cake for my 30th birthday. Only if my wife understood what language I program with. I still love her though!

undefined cake birthday

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So this happened last night...

Gf: my favorite bra is not fitting me anymore
Me: get a new one ?
Gf: but it is a C already.
Me: get a c++.

After 5 sec i bursted in laughter, she was confused.

undefined bra problems c++

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