This is my motivation.

My current project at work: purchase verification, aka anti-fraud.

It's been two weeks, and my boss is flipping out because it isn't done. A robust anti-fraud solution. in two weeks. And he thought one week was a little much.

like, fucking really?

There are companies whose entire service is helping combat fraud. and he wants this done in a bloody week?

What makes me laugh through my tears of frustration is that the company that moved into the previous office? Yep, anti-fraud. Their entire business model is providing anti-fraud services to other businesses. They even tried selling him on it when they moved in. Bossman sales guy turned it around and sold my freaking desk out from under me instead.

But like. They're a small company: they had 9 people when they moved in, and were looking to add three more, so a total of 12 people. (I totally considered jumping ship, but their stack was too different.)

So. Bossman wants me to replace 9-12 people and their entire business in a fucking week. Yeah.

"Oh, but it's just sms verification" says he. What he also wants is the ability to flag users as fraudulent, have sticky verifications so they can't bypass them by backing out, have email checks as well as sms, have deferred verification to allow collecting required info (e.g. phone number), verification fallback, lockouts, manual admin whitelisting, admin blacklisting, and different rules per merchant and rule groups for affiliates to apply to all of their merchants, and of course the ability to customize those merchant/affiliate anti-fraud rules. But he shortens this gigantic list to "I want sms verification," despite actually asking for all of the above. I don't want to know about the mental gymnastics and/or blindfolding required to equate the two, but he's nuts.

Yeah.
All of that.
In a goddamn week.

And I get chewed out when it isn't done? Fuck off.

Go build me a goddamn 5m ft^2 castle out of basalt and marble using only your toothbrush and a rusty garden trowel, and have it done in a week. No outsourcing.

talk about ridiculous.

Ranters this week

All major browsers render this simple 'square' differently
https://twitter.com/Martijn_Cuppens...

Frontend Dev: That's not possible in Frontend, we should do it in Backend.
Backend Dev: That's not possible in Backend, we should do it in Frontend.

-- CIVIL WAR --

Google collects more data than I could imagine.
So i read an article a few days ago and it absolutely blew me off. It mentioned how google collects your personal data and makes it available to you as well (just to rub it in your face I guess). E.g
1. Visit https://google.com/maps/timeline/ : Collects exactly what it says.
2. Visit https://myactivity.google.com/ :
These people collect everything on your device(at least android)!!!!! Even the time spent on home screen! WTF!!!
3. Visit https://takeout.google.com/ : To download your data archive. Ranges from Google photos to Hangouts and everything in between.

-> All the above require signing in with your gmail account.

So basically, if someone manages to get a hold of your gmail password, they have the power to know everything about you.

Aaaahhhhhhh. Ridiculous.

When you mention in your resume that you are an active contributor to Linux source code.

Friend: Hey, I managed to build my own UI.
Me: That's great, which programming language did you use?
Friend: Filezilla.
Me: No, I mean the language. The language you code in to build your UI ?
Friend: Notepad ++

KILL ME.

2011: 3 billion devices run Java
2018: 3 billion devices run Java

Couple rants ago I talked about how it would be easier to just block people from the EU, apparently somebody made that idea into a hosted script! LOL

https://euroshield.xyz/

Found a guy working at Microsoft with this bio.

"Software Engineer at Microsoft. Loves Linux, the cloud, Vim, and DevOps. But mostly Linux"

Like come on Microsoft, even they choose Linux over Windows

lol 😂😂😂

I have this headache that...

Never leave your login on a postit

Hey, have you ever wanted to punch a developer 8611 times before?

You know you’re busy when you open the microwave to heat up the coffee that you didn’t have time to drink and find yesterday’s coffee that you heated up for the same reason.

I feel very inspired 5 mins after my coffee

"Fuck this shit! I'm outta here!" - works very well with everything.

When i ask for a raise -

Boss : Are u joking ? I can see u hardly working.

When I ask for a leave -

Boss : Are u joking ? Who will do your work ?

*listens to music using Samsung earphones*
Person next to me: Nice song
Neighbor: Nice song
Aliens: Nice song

I used to think that my life is worthless. Then I saw people on devrant....
turns out being worthless is kind of a developer thing.

Who. The. Fuck. Did. This.

When you thought you oversimplified the user interface but it's still too confusing for the user...

Its only been 5 mins in the app...already feeling at home.

Customer: I have installed Windows on my computer
Support: Yes, and ?
C: And I have problem now...
S: You already said that.

I ate alot of food, now i am feeling like android studio

Dear programmers everywhere who keep your blogs running for years after you stop posting: Thank you!

Advertising fail

PM: Can you finish this in four weeks?
Dev: yeah sure, I can finish that in four weeks
Narrator: the dev could not finish it in four weeks

Feature request: Add a popup in mobile app that asks to rate the devRant app

*muhahahahaha*