We are transferring our infrastructure to Google cloud and Docker. Last week one of our frontend developers tell me:
But it works without Docker!

Asked a girl what would she like to eat and gave her two options. She answered "Ok. Let's go".

Error cannot find parameters in line 2

Made a website for a friend's parents in 2015. Months later after the website was finished, I haven't been paid. Reminded them about the money, they say they will call me. No call received. So, I turned the website into this. (image)
2017, still haven't been paid.

Have you tried unblessing it and then blessing it again?

Developer: We have a problem.
Manager: Remember, there are no such things as problems, only opportunities.
Developer: Well then, we have a DDoS opportunity.

'your computer is doing something weird come home'

'i can't, everyone is being evacuated because of the hurricane'

'....it's trying to install windows 10'

Me:

At a funeral.....

A visitor: What's the WiFi password here?

Priest: Respect the dead

Visitor: All small letters ?...

Nice face recognition

Made me laugh...

Good people do exist after all

Most helpful error log ever...

hahaha 😁

I hope they know what they're doing!

A group of wolves is called a pack.

A group of crows is called a murder.

A group of developers is called a merge conflict.

PM: Please do this immediately.
Me: But the other deadline, I...
PM: I don't care, do this first!
Me: Alright, fine.

(at the end of the day)
PM: Why is the thing you were doing not finished yet!?

And then there is this beauty...

My look when my code compiles at first go.

*That's suspicious*

Pun of the day

Boss: I heard your colleagues hate dealing with code you wrote. Why?
Me: No comment

What kind of fucking application sends me my an e-mail with my password in plain text when I sign-up!?

When you fuck up your repo so bad it transforms into guitar hero

hope this isnt a repeat. have a great weekend guys!!!!!

Agile my ass. Stand ups should not take 40 min.

Today's bug fix; brought to you by uneducated guesswork.

My parents my whole childhood:

What are you *** doing in front of that screen?!?!
Stop playing GAMES and go out and do something with your life!
You are WASTING your LIFE on ****!
You will NEVER get a job.

Today I am payed more than 20th times as my dad was payed in my age.
They finally stopped complaining.

When the trainee wants to improve your code.

W...w...wha...whaaat?!

I love that sentence so much

Life when you didn't know about browsers developer tools

Finally have the home office I've always wanted, with only a few more things left to do in order to consider it finished.

Power company loves me.

Wallet hates me.