How I discovered devrant -> I googled "wow intellij is so fucking slow i cant believe it"

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They hate to see it.

If anyone knows this show, you can be my friend.

I'm feeling like writing this down...

So today I got told off by my boss. Why? Because my job bores me.

My current title, "webmaster", is quite similar to "plumber" where I work. I fix holes on our websites, and I tell "qualified" people (external providers) how a project should be made. Nothing exciting, nothing creative, boring.

So I got told off today for being "laid-back" in a newsletter project (GDPR, looking at you) and not being thorough in my procedures of testing and configuration. Fair enough, I didn't care and I admitted it. It's a boring drag-and-drop done in literally 5 minutes, there's no added brain-value here. Plus I got told off by my IT Manager because our Exchange server would not let me receive test emails. Still doesn't work after a day. Yay.

Then she said "we're doing exciting things here, it's not always the case anywhere else you'd work". And I'm like: "really? I love writing code, seeing things coming alive, investigating why things don't run smoothly, writing efficient code (both in performance and in readability)". I hear many friend devs telling me they're doing that and what they do during their "dev-day"... All I'm doing here is "maintenance" (a.k.a boring) stuff that apparently is "exciting". Adding a <script> to handle google tag manager is hell fun, going through compiled CSS and change color values is also thrilling, finding out if a PDF handler application can handle PDF files, re-plugging a computer monitor to make it work...

I think she meant that I'm not at my place here.

Didn't want to tell her that I have no motivation in doing things I don't enjoy making, i.e, my job.

Good thing I have an interview in two weeks

"I was wondering why Monitors sleep and Keyboards don't.

Then it occurred to me that Keyboards have two SHIFTS. 😆😆" -some guy

Manager: How's the site going. Can I see it?

Dev: ya sure

M: what's that

Dev: that's a * it means some restrictions apply.

M: hmmmm

M: make it a diamond

So, as I figure out my post-high school life and delve into the world of coding, I finding myself with a question for you seasoned veterans in the field.

Regardless of what I like more, what makes more sense in the current climate of the industry - specializing in back end or front end, of going more full stack?

I am not entirely sure how should I feel... O_O

Angry customer (😤): Your software is still too slow!!!
Me (🙄): It's running good all in all. Let's divide this into smaller aspects. Which steps do you need to perform faster?
😤: Every step needs to be as fast as google!
🙄: But our software ain't google, not even to mention your infrastructure
😤: Everything needs to run in 2 seconds!!!
🙄: You aren't helping in any way. We need something to grasp...
😤: It's all your fault.

📴

The TV on my plane seat glitched out...

*Changes code*
*alt + tab to website*
*ctrl + s to save changes*

FUUUUUU...

I just implemented parallelism in one of my major data collection tools for work, and cut the tool's run duration by 90%. That seems like as good a time as any to go to sleep.

A perfect fit for the first of my devRant stickers.

Cheers to @dfox and @trogus 🍻

Interview with a candidate. He calls himself "C++ expert" on his resume. I think: "oh, great, I love C++ too, we will have an interesting conversation!"

Me: let's start with an easy one, what is 'nullptr'?
Him: (...some undecipherable sequence of words that didn't make any sense...)

In my mind: mh, probably I didn't understand right. Let's try again with something simple and more generic

Me: can you tell me about memory management in C++?
Him: you create objects on the stack with the 'new' keyword and they get automatically released when no other object references them

In my mind: wtf is this guy talking about? Is he confusing C++ with Java? Does he really know C++? Let's make him write some code, just to be sure

Me: can you write a program that prints numbers from 1 to 10?

Ten minutes and twenty mistakes later...

Me: okay, so what is this <int> here in angle brackets? What is a template?
Him: no idea

Me: you wrote 'cout', why sometimes do I see 'std::cout' instead? What is 'std'?
Answer: no idea, never heard of 'std'

I think: on his resume he also said he is a Java expert. Let's see if he knows the difference between the two. He *must* have noticed that one is byte-compiled and the other one is compiled to native code! Otherwise, how does he run his code? He must answer this question correctly:

Me: what is the difference between Java and C++? One has a Virtual Machine, what about the other?
Him: Java has the Java Virtual Machine
Me: yes, and C++?
Him: I guess C++ has a virtual machine too. The C++ Virtual Machine

Me (exhausted): okay, I don't have any other questions, we will let you know

And this is the story of how I got scared of interviews

My team has 1-on-1 check-up meetings with our boss about once a month.

My 1-on-1 today consisted solely of him saying "So I bought a new Porsche, want to see a picture?"

It was a pretty productive meeting, if I do say so myself!

Just found the best dev ever.

https://alcohollick.com/tfw.html

!dev

Me *downloading some weird linux distro to test in VirtualBox - I only do this once a month for like 1 hour*
my brother: Oh my god! Are you downloading something again? Moooom he is downloading something non-stop

every day:
my brother *watching some series/YouTube videos/playing ping-sensitive multiplayer games - all the fucking time, everything he does all day is this + eating and sleeping*
me *retrying multiple times to load anything, including devRant* 😒😠

1. Doesnt want to pay for server
2. Doesnt want to pay for disk
3. Doesnt want to pay at all
3. Wants the app in 1 week

I just found a reason to use Edge - viewing PDFs when I'm too lazy to install acrobat reader!

Finally done with being on call/standby so thought I'd order myself a pizza calzone 😍

I'm not saying that this thing is small but it's smaller than my hands.

I don't have very big hands 😭

Friend: OMG are you hacking ?

[sudo apt-get update] running

Me: Yes. I am.

no !! how dare you ??!!!?!?!!?!?

I'm not some kind of cargo .. !!

I believe this has saved us every so often...

New servers! 8 servers with 512GB RAM, 48 cores

> reboots PC
> goes to work
> goes to hang out with friends after work
> comes home 14 hours after rebooting PC

FML... damn thing even has an SSD in ir for crying out loud

Don't these recruiters check how it looks before posting it?

40 minutes to realize that the "Access denied" error was not about the database on the server but about a local file.
And a sudo solved everything

Came across this and wanted to share it with everyone here! Haha