"Everything is possible, that’s what science is all about. No, that’s what’s being a Magical Elf is all about." - The Professor (on Futurama)

- Knock, knock

- An async function

- Who's there?

USB sounds like a backup in case the USA fails

A group of wolves is called a pack.

A group of crows is called a murder.

A group of developers is called a merge conflict.

......

Sometimes i'm reading a rant and thinking this could be my colleague two desks further.

I'm someone who' s productive so I get things done earlier than expected, so then I get time to rest. However, when the managers see me resting, they always think that I'm "not doing my job" or "idle" or "doing nothing" so they always ask me "what are you doing?" or "you've got things to do?".
From now on I will just pretend that every f*cking easy task is worth 1 week to do.

My last day at my current company and damn, I couldn‘t be happier. Consulting was the worst decision I ever made and from tomorrow on I‘ll be free.

No more lying to clients, no more pushing of horrible products, no more silence towards problems because they didn‘t pay for a more expensive service.

I can finally stop hating myself for my job!

Oh I forgot.
Once I got promoted with more responsibility and my pay raised, but since I just passed some tax threshold for few $ my net income was more or less 1 hundred $ lower than before the promotion...

You guys get promotions?!

I’ve had to quit and find another job for every title and pay bump I’ve ever received... but I’m at a place now where I’m actually learning a ton of shit, my salary is damn decent (compared to all my previous jobs), and I’m having a blast diving in and working on actual projects vs boring as fuck maintenance / helpdesk type work.

Millennials are getting right f*cked.

Low paying jobs,
Many hours of travel to work because one can't afford to live closeby,
working 10 hour a day, and
there is no hope of owning a home.

Then people say 'oh what do you do when you get home?'

Sleeeep for the limited hours left!

Then your partner says 'oh you just come home to sleep'

Then you have instagram and all these 'influencers' saying go after your dreams... while they very well know they only get paid for heavily edited images.

Wish things were better for everyone.

There should be a button on a rant that would allow you to get notifications without commenting.
(And probably a notification group for those "marked" rants, as there are many comments from rants you commented on that would bury the ones you actually care about)

I found this posted by a recruiter and I liked it:
| hired someone that didn't shake my hand firmly during the
interview - he rocked as an employee.
| hired someone with three typos on their resume. - She was
the most detailed oriented person l’ve ever worked with.
| hired someone without a college degree- He was way
smarter, innovative, and creative than mel!
| hired someone with four kids- Never met someone so
devoted and committed to her career.
| hired someone who had been incarcerated as a young adult.
- He's a VP now.
| hired someone over 60- she taught me some tricks on excel
that | use to this day!
Can we please throw out all those silly assumptions and rules that we've made up in our head about what a person needs to
be, look like, have accomplished, and do, to succeed?
In my experience, as an HR leader and as a hiring manager, it's those that typically don't get a “shot” who tend to kick butt
in the workplace!
So before you throw that resume away because they don't have every certificate and degree - or - don't call back that candidate because they didn't give you a firm handshake - think about trying something new. Someone new.

Got a corporate profile pic
Filled out my Linkedin profile
Checked that I'm open for work opportunities
3 months later an HR wrote to me about a nice job opportunity
"Hey, guys, I need more $$$, I'm going to other company"
And here I am, doing even less than at previous job, but get paid 2x more XD

I was never promoted - mostly because I never stayed more than 8 months in the same company. I changed jobs so frequently that at some point an HR in a company I applied for asked me about it and thought it was not a good sign.

the popularity of devrant is decreasing with time..:(

Just started the TV show "sillicon valley", it's pretty good and funny, if you want something to watch about programmers that launch their startup

What do you put in your resume if you get an offer from google?

Company: "We only accept the best programmers! 5 years of experience in 100 different Javascript frameworks!"

Also company: Random alert popup saying "page loaded" everytime you click next on application form.

Rant about a german problem in english

I think we as the people should just sue the german government for neglect of progress and neglect of the education system. If your not familiar with the state of german IT we have worse internetspeeds than uganda or the notoriously shitty australia, our neighbourstates look at us in disbelief while laughing in optic fibre. Our school system seperates all students after 4th grade in 3 tiers, the lowest one gives you the future perspective as a social security case. The second and highest tier require masses of useless knowledge, so called "competences"(Kompetenzen) which are totally useless skills with no real world application because they are derived from real skills, a median ground between all possible applications of that skill. And while doing that they terribly insist on doing everything the "proper" way, meaning handwritten. Most people you would expect to have basic computer literacy, meaning age 40 and below, are incapable of using basic functions of a non-smartphone computer and do not understand the slightest of what they are actually doing or supposed to do. And I mean nothing technical. Germans are the reasons they still put word as a job requirement for devjobs because this disqualifies half of our population. This leads to many people having the archaeic "we versus the machines" mentality, thinking that if they ever let the computer do parts of the job, they will then lose all of it to the machines. Thats why you never strive past basic mathematical principles in mathematics, which is a big misnomer because you never do actual mathematics, only calculating and basic calculus and statics. If you get to use your calculator, its some basic casio with no actual functionality then standard operations. And even using that is shunned upon. How is this country ever supposed to become something more than it was in the 90's, if we teach people nothing of use and kill all progress in its root.

If doctors were like software engineers, they would say things like “Have you tried killing yourself and being reborn?”

Whatever It Is Why Is It So?

working on a better captcha...

Still awaiting my async enlightenment 😝

A co-worker/friend came in to work this morning and told me how amazing his interview went yesterday and how amazing the company is. He said he won't know if he got the position till Monday after they interview the other guy.

I didn't have the heart to tell him that the other person they are interviewing is me. I think it might get awkward when Monday comes and I'm not at work and he realizes why.

Today we interviewed a _very_ good Angular1 Dev, by chance we showed him the forked ngRouter module we use, after some debate he explained that we were using it incorrectly.. I asked if he'd used it before to which he responded:

"Yeah, I'm the guy who built it"

😅

My girlfriend comes in and sees me on devrant.

GF: "What is that app? I see you using it all the time. Is it like an endless blog with updates?"
Me: "It's kinda like facebook. But for developers. And you don't have any friends".
GF: "That seems like a sad app"

Right now someone at Google is coding something useless for us to laugh at on April Fools.

Check out this superb website that I made..

http://localhost:8080

Yesterday, my employer promoted me to lead web developer.

I’m still the only web developer.