Details
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Aboutassociate dev, one day I'll be junior ❀ liberal arts math major ❀ ask me about ex-quasi-cult, prog rock, philosophy
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Skillsjs, linux, vue, GraphQL, mongo, html/css, scratch, shell
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LocationNorthern VA
Joined devRant on 6/8/2021
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To the coworkers who won't read this -- If you have a question to message me, type the QUESTION ITSELF. Don't coyly request permission to ask me a question because you're worried you'll bother me, that just turns it into TWO questions. Let us put an end to saying 'hey, can I ask you a question' and then virtually walking away.10
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Our client has put me and some others through at least 10 hours of passive lectures on non-development server management, nothing hands-on included. I realized today that I may be responsible for replicating some of the management processes (while supervised), and I think I start tomorrow. I didn't take notes on any of these meetings because the level of detail was overwhelming. I suck at communicating on time--can I still tell my PM I have about 5% memory retention on these lectures or did I royally screw up?
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Dear PM: In the next couple weeks, I'm going to be taking sprint tasks on 4 teams instead of the usual 1 team. I'm concerned that I'll be too divided to deliver on any of them well.
Dear Dev: Should be fine, since you don't have to do those tasks all at the same time. It's like . . . you don't have to commute to the office and do your job at the same time.4 -
There is a fine line between chic corporate speak and not cool corporate neologisms.
Then there are these gems from the client:
- major blocker: "showstopper"
- the situation is becoming high pressure: "things are getting hot and heavy"23 -
> be me, associate dev
> slack mid-level dev 40 lines of code
> I have never written a REST api before
> his response is "lol"3 -
Rant on behalf of my fiancé, who is new to programming.
>be Apple
>tape an m1 chip onto an iPad
>you can’t write code on it
waluigidrinktears.png4 -
“Dear Manager, the reason I didn’t complete my sprint task today was that while I was nursing my fiancé’s COVID vaccine severe side effects, said fiancé’s Chinese roommate put a jar of some fermented product called “Golden Smell” in a precarious place from which I broke it, causing a veritable golden shower of glass shards and odors to permeate the workspace. If you don’t hear from me by standup, tell my mom i’m sorry."5
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I cannot write a line of code after 2pm...my work becomes playing tutorials in the background while I think about dinner and telling teammates my great ideas for the things we can get done tomorrow2