Aboutassociate dev, one day I'll be junior ❀ liberal arts math major ❀ ask me about ex-quasi-cult, prog rock, philosophy
Skillsjs, linux, vue, GraphQL, mongo, html/css, scratch, shell
Joined devRant on 6/8/2021
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Manager: Hurry up and login, I don’t have all day
Dev: One sec I have to lookup my password for the system
Manager: How can you not remember your password? Everything requires it these days
Dev: I use a different password for each service.
Manager: Wow you really like to overcomplicate things. Just use the same one for everything like I do, it’s way more efficient!
Yesterday's (scheduled and adhoc) meetings:
Today's (scheduled) meetings:
Tomorrow's meetings include a 1:1 with my boss who will invariably ask why I'm not done on this "should take a week" project that I've had for a week, despite that he just unblocked me on yesterday morning, and I've had nothing but meetings since...
They fill my day with shit spaced out just enough to waste practically my entire freaking day so I can't get anything done, conveniently forget this, and then have the audacity to yell at me for not finishing my tickets. Of course I didn't finish! You all were too busy blabbing at me every day for the past fucking week! (Oh, and do they listen if I have something to say? Of course they fucking don't.)
Also, as a secondary rant, the product douchebag files tickets (usually complex as hell tickets worded to appear trivial) with enough missing information to make missing large sections of them easy. If I ask him for clarification, he tells me to read the ticket, and if I insist, he gets all exasperated and quickly zooms through the site faster than I can follow, shows maybe half of what's in the ticket, and asks why I don't know how to do any of this yet. After I finish his shit ticket (and true to his douchebag nature) he blames me for missing several of those pieces he never outlined or showed, and insists that I obviously don't test anything. And because that's clearly not douchey enough, the fucking sack of shit also goes behind my back and trashtalks me to my coworkers, tells them he can't trust me to do a simple fucking thing, and that he's given up on me.
What the FUCK is wrong with these people?28
I have been an armchair neuroscientist in my interests. I am fascinated by the brain, how we believe it works, how it really works, and what different research has shown. I have found books written by real neuroscientists that talk about how the brain works and what the research they have shows about intelligence. I am also fascinated by the idea of rewiring your brain. I just found another neuroscience book that has research from some neuroscientists that have challenged the established belief that adult brains have little to no neuroplasticity. This is the ability for the brain to rewire itself to accomplish new tasks or repurpose different parts of the brain. I didn't know this was a limiting factor in the theory of neuroscience. The book also includes information about how Buddhists and neuroscientists are working together to unlock more knowledge about neuroplasticity. The traditional neursoscience belief is that the brain affects the mind solely. However Buddhists have long believed that the mind can affect the brain physically. I am just starting to read this book, but so far the experiments that have been performed seem fascinating. It also has not gotten to the part about the Buddhism influence on the research yet. So far I have just read about how scientists have shown that plasticity can be shown to occur with normal everyday tasks. I don't know where this will lead, but its really cool to read about.
Okay, great, so what?
The why was I looking for this is interesting. I have been looking for some time ideas on how to improve my thinking. I had the idea that I could help myself think better by training my brain with mental exercises. I want to create a program that runs on the computer or phone that one could use with visual and audible cues to play mental games. These games would be designed to make one better at solving puzzles, remember things better, and more. If these exercises could be made in such a way that they were fun to do then we could use our own addictions to improve ourselves. The research I had before frustrated me because they always said you couldn't make yourself smarter. Maybe you cannot increase your mental capacity (not sure if that is true if we can grow neurons, also mentioned in the book), but reorganizing what you have might be possible. Maybe if there is a finite capacity to the brain that reorganizing might cause you to drool. I don't know, but if I could create a puzzle game with the purpose of helping me visualize algorithms, I would find that useful. Also, helping me remember short strings of data would be helpful as well. It seems like I have trouble when it is more than 7 numbers (ten?). Which is also why phone numbers are that long. To make them easier to remember.
I just don't know where this will lead. It might be a wild goose chase. But I think I will learn something about my mind and myself in the process. It also sounds like a great deal of fun.4
Brand new PC build. 5950X, 128Gb RAM, 6900XT, 8Tb of gen 4 NVME storage. Decided to install Win11 just for shits and giggles. Imagine my surprise when...19
So there's this annoying colleague who loves to call me (My work phone) at 3 am, so I decided to adjust some settings to forward the calls to the CEO.
aha!! , in the meeting CEO point it out, and yes, finally company set a rule that no work calls after working hours....14
Be me, new dev on a team. Taking a look through source code to get up to speed.
Dev: **thinking to self** why is there no package lock.. let me bring this up to boss man
Dev: hey boss man, you’ve got no package lock, did we forget to commit it?
Manager: no I don’t like package locks.
Manager: they fuck up computer. The project never ran with a package lock.
Dev: ..how will you make sure that every dev has the same packages while developing?
Manager: don’t worry, I’ve done this before, we haven’t had any issues.
**couple weeks goes by**
Dev: pushes code
Manager: hey your feature is not working on my machine
Dev: it’s working on mine, and the dev servers. Let’s take a look and see
**finds out he deletes his package lock every time he does npm install, so therefore he literally has the latest of like a 50 packages with no testing**
Dev: well you see you have some packages here that updates, and have broken some of the features.
Manager: >=|, fix it.
Dev: commit a working package lock so we’re all on the same.
Manager: just set the package version to whatever works.
**more weeks go by**
Manager: why are we having so many issues between devs, why are things working on some computers and not others??? We can’t be having this it’s wasting time.
Dev: **takes a look at everyone’s packages** we all have different packages.
Manager: that’s it, no one can use Mac computers. You must use these windows computers, and you must install npm v6.0 and node v15.11. Everyone must have the same system and software install to guarantee we’re all on the same page
Dev: so can we also commit package lock so we’re all having the same packages as well?
Manager: No, package locks don’t work.
**few days go by**
Manager: GUYS WHY IS THE CODE DEPLOYING TO PRODUCTION NOT WORKING. IT WAS WORKING IN DEV
DEV: **looks at packages**, when the project was built on dev on 9/1 package x was on version 1.1, when it was approved and moved to prod on 9/3 package x was now on version 1.2 which was a change that broke our code.
Manager: CHANGE THE DEPLOYMENT SCRIPTS THEN. MAKE PROD RSYNC NODE_MODULES WITH DEV
Manager: just trust me, I’ve been doing this for years
Who the fuck put this man in charge.11
I once had to make a shitty canvas game as part of a marketing campaign when I worked for an agency, for fuck only knows what. You dragged a shopping trolley back and forth in an aisle, and got points for catching items that fell from the top.
The initial round of feedback had the complaint that sometimes players weren't receiving points for items. I spent a night playing this senseless game over and over, but I never failed to get the points for an item. I was pretty confident that it worked, it wasn't like the logic was complex, so I sent it over.
Second round of feedback had the same complaint. They were getting quite annoyed by it, said that it was a bad user experience. Again, I could not reproduce it at all: the game was an equally tedious waste of life on every device I tried it on.
In exasperation, I asked the sales guy whose pitch it had been to get me a video or a more detailed report. The client was quite arsey, as they saw it, at having to do bug-fixing for us, but they did agree.
Anyway, it transpired that they were angry that players were not receiving the points for the items they *failed* to catch. The way they saw it, the game wouldn't be fun if you were punished for not catching items - so they wanted the player to get ten points for every item on screen, regardless or not of whether they caught it in their trolley. Of course, I thought. Silly me.
I was actually quite impressed at how a marketing department could accidentally undermine the very notion of a game whilst seeking to make one more fun.8
🎶 She takes my money
When I’m in need
She’s a trifling
She’s a gold digger
Thats digs on me 🎶10
Apple vs. Microsoft: who sucks more?
At first glance, it's obvious that Apple sucks more. Their overpriced products are so bad that they rely heavily on vendor lock-in and cult-like brainwashing.
Then again, Apple's vendor lock-in also acts as buyer lock-out so that it's easy to avoid Apple. Basically, Apple sucking more also means they suck less. Think different indeed.
Microsoft on the other hand sucks more because their crap is so ubiquitous that it's difficult to avoid Microsoft.
That looks like a draw - but here's the tie breaker: Microsoft tries to ape Apple, BUT! Microsoft even sucks at copying Apple's suck.
So here's the final verdict: Microsoft sucks more.39
I just had the scariest hallucination.
felt like my work table was slowly flipping towards me.
similar to how you feel right before you fall when you over tilt your chair when sitting.3
Every time I'm looking through the Minecraft code trying to reverse it I stumble upon this little historic artifact and it never ceases to make me feel weirdly happy :D
I just LOVE how our service desk takes emails and reformats the fuck out of newlines so they look like
problem is fix.
I would enjoy a position where I would have to write tons of tiny scripts for solving different logic problems. Tweak data, visualise it, pass it through different mediums. I would feel the best in research, implementing and testing different ideas, and build solutions for later use. Right now I'm on the first line at the customer site where the upcoming problems have to be solved instantly, I have the constant feeling that the thing could be much more efficient but there is no time for change, test and implement differently, so I'm not really using my full capacity on anything. I'm kind of a user of the built stuff but I feel more a developer. At the other end I'm satisfied and this is the best job I ever had :)1
I think my favorite MacBook Pro™ with touch bar feature is when I'm changing the volume while listening to music, and the bar bugs ou- ahem, decides that I actually want to listen at max volume, and proceeds to rape my ears.
If only Tim Cook were here, and would grace my humble existence by allowing me to pleasure him with my mouth. It is moments like these that make me feel truly blessed to be an Apple chosen one.2
Just one misclick while trying to install fonts. M1 shredded through ~4k font files in like 5 seconds, and I ended up with ~4k individual font windows9
When I was like 8 years old or so, I had Nero installed on my older sister’s PC. Nero is a software for burning CDs.
Nero had a button called “Create CD” and 8yo me thought “what if I create CDs and sell them” 😂 I thought a fucking disc will materialize inside the drive 😂 big brain time
Interestingly enough I’d already built one PC from scratch at that age, but optical drives that can write discs were so rare to me that I didn’t even understand them. And physics. And common sense.1
Me becoming PM from Dev
My colleague who left the company: “You either die a hero or live long to see yourself become the villain 😂”6
Here it is.
The CS final.
I reached this point in my life.
I hope I won’t forget the base case in recursion like last time and fuck up an entire question.11
Found out two of our best engineers put in their notice. They both have shaped the culture here and I don’t know what it’s going to be like without them.3
My friend sent me this and I don’t think I ever laughed harder at a dev joke.
Aussie people make everything funnier, idk why (if it’s a repost then sorry)6
“In order to release on production you merge on production”
“In order to release on staging you merge on release”
“The CI for the staging release is called release to production”
What? No, stop!
“You also need to create a tag called pre-production-deployment, so that staging can work”
“It’s very easy, you just need to read the documentation!”
How do people do not realise they are spitting out bs?3