I recently got into an argument with some people, and I want your opinion. I did a speed code in Java (just sped up clip of programming, because it looks cool lol), and someone commented:

"Way too much static abuse here. Jesus"

In which I replied:

"Actually, sir. There is near none at all, just because I use static methods does not make it static abuse. A static method belongs to the class, and is somewhat permanent. It is not a type (instance, cat, dog, animal, etc.) class, it is a Utility class, much like other dependencies you'd use are Utilities and not types."

To which they reply:

"Getting and setting is a Utility?"

Boi. If it is a static variable, yes. Like, what?

Helping a client to update their 5 years old payment system to support the new mobile PayPal library via Braintree.

Found out you need to install a server SDK that requires PHP 5.4.

Installed and then realised the server is still on PHP 5.3 (CentOS 6).

Panic.

Told my client that they require a new server just so that I don’t need to manage the PHP 5.3 to 5.4 update on their live server and I can install Node to use the Braintree NodeJS SDK 😇.
Feels like heaven.

The single most annoying thing about working with Microsoft is how they, at one point, decided to wipe 99% of their articles and downloads on their site. But instead of updating it in their OWN FUCKING OS, they just leave links to the broken pages in their help system. The second problem then arises when you realise that instead of giving you an error page, it automatically redirects you to the default page.
But on top of wiping their site, not updating windows to reflect those changes, and having a terrible site design, they have also decided that it would be best to keep the pages that once we're, online. This means that they will still show up in search engines, without any content being there.

Add to that the fact that their support team is incompetent to an insane degree, and often doesn't know what they're talking about. This has caused me so much frustration over the last few days.

Dear Microsoft, please get your act together and fix your shitty website.
Greetings,
A pissed of customer who paid money for your shitty services

Client sends an email after 5 PM. We all left for home.

Client: blah blah blah...We urgently need this app to be done by COB on Monday. Our CEO is going to launching it on Tuesday to the board of Directors.

––Boss forwards me the email––

Boss: Can you get this done by this weekend.

––On Viber––
Boss: I have sent you an urgent email. Let me know.

––My Reply––
Me: This can't be done in a day or 2. Looking at the scope of work, I need at least 8 weeks.

––Boss Replies back––
Boss: You are not performing at the best of your ability. Come and see me on Monday, I need to talk to you about your performance on urgent projects.

Updates windows for 2 hours

Gets an Edge shortcut on desktop

Recently was in a recruitment hackathon for leading technology company.
So, to test ppls networking, team building skill they grouped ppl into a team.
I was teamed up with noobs, and had very bad experience.
One guy in the team was arguing to use PHP for developing a web app.
Me : What PHP framework are u good at!?
He: what is framework !?
Me : like laravel etc..
He: no I meant we use plain PHP!

Me (mind voice) : go fuck yourself, I am bailing out , I Do not need the job

Me : It's ohk we only know NodeJs , so, gave a wierd smile

He was still arguing ,but I gave 0 f***
This is considered as a fight!?
Yeah not the worst though
Apparently the recruitment ppl liked him a lot in my team!

!dev

I hate every private package delivery service!
I ordered two things from the same shop. The first delivery came on Monday and because I wasn't home I got a notice which said I have to get the package from the pickup shop right around the corner. So far, so good.
Second delivery should come on Wednesday. I wasn't home again, so I got a notice to get the delivery from the pick up store....30 MINUTES AWAY!
Because the delivery should be quite heavy, I organized a friend with a car to help me.
At the pickup store I I got the package and it wasn't as heavy as I expected.
At home I opened the package and noticed that stuff is missing. In my order email a discovered, that there should be two package.
Slightly pissed off I drove back to the pickup store to get the other package, but it wasn't there.
Because the the delivery guy brought it to another pickup store...30 MINUTES AWAY IN THE OPOSITE DIRECTION OF MY HOME! WITHOUT A NOTICE!
And of course the shop was closed at this time :[
This wasn't the first time stuff like this happened with private delivery services. I cannot understand why people are ranting about the state postal service and prefer those private companys.

Friend: Hey, your code doesn’t work because you have too many lines of code !

Me: Wait... What?

A jr colleague came back from a react.js code camp.
Those hipsters turned the poor kid into a one liner terrorist and buzzword spammer.

It's time to play bad cop and start enforcing line length limit.

Someone asked me "if I forget to close my html tags </> will people hack me? "

Geeks what do you suggest? 😁

So Windows 10 Mobile seems like it wants to become true Windows and updates at night without any warning, illuminating my entire room

Yesterday I was updating the code in a linux server at 23:00.
My 6 year son look the terminal while i was typing and said:
"Dad, why you always write in block letters? I can read and write also in italics."
"Dear son, you are smarter than my PC."

Had a database engineer tell me that he put a minimal delay of 15 seconds on every query, so that people don't come complaining to him that the database takes longer than usual

-> "cs" friend wants to install "linux" on his laptop
->won't do it himself cuz cuckhole is afraid of ruining his original windows installation
->shitfuck bugging me for months and I always deny saying he needs to learn this shit too
->finally decide to help him, get a "linux" and go to the craphole he dwells in
->laptop looks high end, bezel less and what not. Also has a 120gigs ssd.
-> decide to partition it. Shit.
->ssd has less dan 40gigs left. Check and see there's ntn but a few store apps and visual studio installed+some personal data. Hmm where the fuck is the missing space.
->few mins of fkin shit around, decide to see size of windows installation
->nope
->nope
->nopenopenope
->windows+fuckYouUpdates takes > 50gigs of Precious and COSTLY ssd space
->tell my friend to reset windows, he denies and i nope the fuck outta there.(ik uninstalling updates and clearing cache and stuff might release space but not spending my whole fkin eve doing that thanks)

I don't hate windows, i love pc gaming but THIS is some shady shit microsoft fuck u and your worthless imbecile space sucking updates

So I was working on a Web Assembly project and when I ran my build chain everything compiled fine, when I would run it however, I'de get random exception when I changed things like a value of a float. After 3 hours I realized the build chain had been "finished" while it was actually still writing out a file, and when I was accessing the web page, the file was corrupt for the first 30 seconds or so. Spent so long trying to fix something that actually wasn't broken FML.

I just recently started working on a product that uses MaterialUI.

I’m not saying it is bad, but it is frustrating me. As a person with a very strong understanding of CSS (SASS mostly), it is frustrating to see the framework try to make things easier while making them entirely more hard.

It would take one or two classes do a thing in SASS but instead it is accessing a bunch of sub classes already built in and modifying some aspects. And then having to add custom css-in-js for other layout needs.

It feels wrong for 1 element to have 2 different methods and areas to house it’s own styles.

I’m sure I’m going to get used to it soon enough. But it is frustrating now.

Updated to Windows 10 1803 (April Update) and I noticed a little button appearing near the search box in the task bar. Turns out to be a new feature called Timeline. I open it and it shows some excel files I had opened some weeks before.
That's very coo... HOW THE FUCK DOES IT KNOW WHAT I DID BEFORE I EVEN UPDATED WINDOWS???
Richard Stallman is right..

"Linux gilt als sehr sicheres Betriebssystem[...]"
In English: Linux is considered to be a very secure operating system.
LINUX IS A FUCKING KERNEL! ARGHHH!

# 3 weeks ago
customer informed us that the app will get quite some load since the beginning of July

# this monday
last spare hdd on database's SAN died.
I told everyone another hdd is to follow it very soon eithet whether nothing is done at all or if anyone attempts to touch the san array [cuz that's what redundant raids do...]. No fucks given by anyone, no attempts to have maintenance and planned outage within 24 hrs....

# this morning
another hdd has failed and now 1tb of data is lost. No way to restore backups cuz there is no database to restore them to....

# 20 minutes later I head out to get some popcorn. It's gonna be a fun week!

So... The planned heavy load [and revenue along with it] is not gonna happen... I guess they are gonna ha a week long outage.

That's what happens when you ignore warning shots fired at your face.

I'm really not much of a drinker, but last night I was apparently.

I thought I played video games until I passed out on the couch and was carried to bed.

This morning, my laptop reveals to me that I had an idea for a web app last night because I made a very misspelled, yet highly detailed to do list for the app, a very blank index file, and 37 open tabs of what looks like research for certain web features.

Project seemed to be some sort of organization thing with a lot of really random and unrelated features like "fruit meterr that scales different fruits you earn" (what does that even mean??) and "sassy bill reminder".

I'm closing out all the tabs I had opened, when I see the tab showing the domain name I chose and bought. I even got the SSL certificate and email domain purchased.

Drunk me seemed to have been really excited about this idea 😶

Fellow Dev: the clients are requesting a gallery on their website with functioning modals.

Me: okay cool

So for the record, I'm new to front-end and I've got quite a lot to learn in JavaScript.

*I googled as much as I could and I made a proper functioning gallery in 2 full days of coding*

Him: okay, so this is great but they aren't really digging it.

Me: *sigh* yes, so what do they want?

Him: have you seen how an image opens in Google images? Like you click on one, the image opens while the rest of the content shifts down?

Me: um... Yeah?

Him: yeah, so they want that.

Me: ... *Scoops the web trying to figure out how Google does it*. Dude, I can't find anything close to it and I've still got a lot to learn. Idk how to do it.

Him: well, you're being paid for that. So, you better do it.

Me: 1000Rs ( approx. 14.58$ ) isn't called "being paid". Gimme a break here.

Him: You're a novice rn.

Me: why don't you do it?

Him: I'm your boss.

*Sigh* (he indeed is my boss)

Him: deal with it.

Me: FU........C.....*suddenly I realized how it's done* OH OH OH OH I just got it, I just got it!

(I actually make something like that)

*Lol yay*

That's just my best story of a fight. Lol.

Client: Why is this not working?

Me: Because the feature expect a...

Client: I sure hope you won’t expect your client to want to know all these teach behind this feature, as a client, I just expect it to work.

Me: Ok...

Client: So why isn’t it working now? WHY?

Me: 🤦🏽‍♂️

Client: I need a response!

Me: It is not working because...

Client: Stop telling me logics!! I just want it to work. Why isn’t it working...

Me: It is not working because I fucked up. It will work after I fix it.

Client: Why isn’t it working though... I don’t understand why...

Me: Just let me fix it and it will work...

Client: Why can’t you tell me why... it’s not good communication... (hangs up)

I just hate when stuff like this happens...

Dear those who did microsoft sharepoint front-end,

Fuck you

P.S. There is still 3 levels of iframe and table, but I can't show it because it contains data

Last week all the sites I'm hosting started acting real strange... Nothing made sense.

One site gave an error telling me that the database couldn't write to disk "insufficient space"...

What? Are you fucking kidding me?

Turns out indexing 14TB of data kinda makes mlocate use a lot of space...

Excluded one folder, optimized the db and voila, from 17GB to less than 1GB...

Dope advice

I was looking through UX/UI designer jobs the other day, and then I checked the minimum requirements for it:

"React.js 7+ years of experience"

...

react came out 5 years ago

Guys, HTC is launching a Blockchain based phone.
The title goes like "First blockchain phone from HTC is coming soon".

I dont know if this is worse than the AI video i found on pornhub.

Her: What's source control?

Me: Explain

Her: Why do we need that? I don't see a purpose

There should be an option of "Wrong category/tag used" while downvoting.