I'm at Disney world and the Windows OS was exposed on one of the machines at a ride so pulled up CMD and ran "tree C:/" then played sample music on full blast. Get on my level hackers :^)

Just found out double-clicking rants will automatically upvote em!

"So, why do you want to work at our office in mexico?"
"I want to be a señor developer."

QA: There is a bug in your program, it doesn't work !

DEV: What? It is working on my machine, let me show you *opens app*

QA: Well, then I will tell our clients to use your machine every time they want the app

DEV: ...

This never gets old...

How does a front-end developer get away with murder?

$('body').hide();

//I'll see myself out

How does a full stack developer sleep?

They don't, they REST

Watching normal people use a computer is incredibly painful.
* slow typing
* slow mouse movements
* mouse is used for everything
* instead of hitting the back button, they'll load up a website and go through 6 pages again.
* no shortcuts!

Someone lost their tabs today (Windows crashed), so I said "press ctrl + shift + T". They were so amazed that keys could do something so advanced.
Dhcosncowhtoehwurt hrnxkxxhry he.

Honestly, if people learned how to use keyboards to their full potential, they could shave off 1-2 hours of their normal work PER DAY!

A few years ago when I was still an apple fan boy, friend of mine bragging me about how android is awesome, we were drinking some shots at our local pub and I was starting to get light headed. At one point he showed me so called "terminal emulator" app. I checked it out, and assumed it's an emulation, just like dosbox, so I decided to verify that "rm -rf *"... (the phone was rooted)

The phone shutdown within seconds, I couldn't stop laughing, while my friend was shock that his new phone was longer booting.

Luckily he managed to reflash the ROM. What can I learn from that experience?
1. Don't drink and sudo
2. Don't call your app an emulator if it's the real deal.

Front-end developer's to-do list :
☑ Climb Everest
☑ Learn how to speak mandarin
☑ Become god
◻ Vertically center something in CSS

Reality

Last night I looked at an Android app.
Going to put it bluntly, I don't like java much.

But Android takes it to a whole new level.
I was talking to our (SlimRoms) framework dev about how the database transactions used to take 400ms, and it was cut down to 10ms by, changing to xml with some kind of a reflector (so xml would be saved in the background).
This is atrocious. As a web developer, I live in a world where you can do thousands of transactions in that time (albeit on faster hardware).

So how is it that all of the abstractions in Android add up to a single read/insertion in Android (and I'm talking about an app written by Google) takes 400ms?

Every time I go in that channel to talk to them, I find something screwed up. Gah.

I was in the train this morning....

I can't believe it took me about 17 years to accidently press the back button on the mouse (mouse button 4?) when Visual Studio had focus. Apparently you can go back to the previous code file by using the back button...

Apple Pie

Credit : 9gag

Laughed so hard, that I had to defenitely post it on devRant.

Fucking Methods starting with "Get" and return is void.

void GetTheFuckOut()

"Please disable AdBlock to view the content."

No. I'll just leave. Bye.

Be quite, I'm an engineer - he said...

my relationship to JS like

When your code executes finally 😂😂