Wanna mess with users? Take

“OK” and “Cancel”.

You know what looks visually the same but means the opposite?

“NO” and “Confirm”.

Deploy that little ui update overnight and watch the world burn.

Programming tip of the day:

Several hours of trial and error can save you many minutes of reading the docs.

The burnout is real today.

Found this somewhere and started crying

javascript...

PROBLEM: A tickets' company came to us last autumn. They said they have severe performance problems and asked us to help.
SOLUTION: covid and quarantines. All events have been ceased, noone's buying any tickets any more. Performance problems are no more. FIXED.

PROBLEM: Another company came to us recently. They said they have severe performance problems with their huge databases and asked us to help.
SOLUTION: a few days of heavy rain and their datacenter was flooded. along with the backup servers. No more data, no more performance problems with large databases. FIXED

Solving problems genie style!

Who's next?

haveibeenpwned: MASSIVE SECURITY BREACH AT COMPANY X, MILLIONS OF RECORDS EXPOSED AND SOLD, YOUR DATA IS AT RISK, please change your password!

Company X website: Hey your password expired! Please change it. Everything's fine, wanna buy premium? The sun is shining. Great day.

I don’t disagree 🤷🏻‍♂️

Fun fact.

The HTTP error 451 means "content is not available because of legal reasons".

The name comes from Ray Bradbury's book Fahrenheit 451, which is about a dystopian society where books and literature are censored by the government.

Cutting edge

Too many such videos out there..
This guy is on point

3-word horror story:
UPDATE without WHERE

Well it can happen!!!

I was on a 1:1 with my boss talking about my performance, recent tickets, HR stuff, anything I need, plans for the next quarter, etc.

My 4yo ran up, pointed to my boss on the screen, and asked "who is mommy on a call with?" I told him it was my boss, T, and that he needed to be quiet. "I want talk to T!" He demanded. "Hi T!" He wouldn't take no for an answer. We were pressed for time, so. As cute as it was, it wasn't very welcome.

It took like five minutes to finally make him leave. Now whenever I'm on a call, he runs up and yells "Hi T!!!!" at the screen. 😅 even when its standup or the engineering meeting with like 50 people.... thankfully there is a mute button! His face still pops up on camera, but most people understand and just laugh.

He's cute but he can be soo embarrassing!

Electronics store clerk: "Can I help you?"

Me: "Good afternoon sir. I'm a developer and lifelong PC gamer. I received a second hand PS4, and might buy a next gen console at the end of the year. People tell me that in front of this soft wide desk chair people call a "couch", you need some sort of large computer monitor to enjoy console gaming"

Clerk: "Yeah, we sell TVs. What TV do you have now?"

Me: "I don't own a TV. I just want a huge 4K computer display with a good response time, excellent refresh rate, and great contrast"

Clerk: "OK so this is an entry level 55" smart TV. It's 120hz, QLED, has full array local dimming. It's great for gaming. It's €1000. We also have this LG OLED smart TV for €1200, which is a step up in terms of contrast and response time..."

Me: "Wait... Smart TV? No, I don't want a TV with an operating system. I want a computer display."

Clerk: "There aren't a lot of big computer displays. We have this ASUS ROG 55" computer monitor. It's also 120hz. Very similar response time, but the brightness and contrast aren't as great, it's edge-lit"

Me, trying really hard to make out the contrast differences under ugly fluorescent lights of the store: "So it's a worse big couch display, without smart OS. How much is it?"

Clerk: "€3500"

Me: "So what you're saying is that while the displays are similar or even better, the operating system on all these TVs is so incredibly bad, you have to give €2500 discount for people to even buy it?"

A company I applied to asked me to make a small CakePHP project to see if i am worthy. I was fairly good with cake so i procrastinated, planning to do it the weekend before the interview.

on that weekend my girlfriend needed help with something so i neglected the company project to help her and later made a half assed one the night before my second interview.

My half assed project couldnt compete with the others so i got ghosted by that company, ended up working in a company across the street from it with twice the salary

to this day i am so glad i didnt get accepted there or id be working for half my current pay.

Procrastination can save careers

Programmer move

I have a good one.. But I'll write it later..

Co-worker presented her work by sharing her screen. She forgot to unshare.

She proceeded to open Chrome and search: "Can I sue co-worker if I get coronavirus because he coughed?"

Another employee said: "Your screen is showing" :/

I was asked to present a code I wrote previously. This was not planned. I shared my screen and presented. Things went well.

One employee asked me to search a particular term which was possibly related to an advance topic in the domain we were working on.

I opened Chrome and the first page had a Quora post: "Why my dull co-workers try to act smart and are not yet fired?".

[silence]

Had a dodgy stomach. Muted the mic & let out an almighty fart.

Only, as you'll have guessed (and I quickly guessed from the silence that followed), I'd missed the mute button.

Fucking hell, I really wanna kill this guy...

When you work from home and your manager wants a word with you.

Code review:

- Almond: This method here is a mix of convoluted loops conditionals and ternaries... I really don't think we can pass this. Can we make sure this logic is a lot clearer?
- Bob: Oh, ok, sure. I'll work on that.

Next day:

- Bob: I've hopefully cleared up the meaning of that code now.
- Almond: Sure, let me look. Err... it looks the same to me? Have you done it in another branch?
- Bob: Oh no, it is the same, but there's a link in the code now to a PNG of a flowchart I put together in draw.io to show how it works.

...🤦‍♂️

😂😂😂😂

I
hate
people
who
use
Enter
as
space

I guess someone can relate..

Life saver

$('body').append('<noscript>Please enable javascript in your browser to enjoy all web features.</noscript>');

A saw it this morning. Now i can die.