Today is the day when writing even 5 lines of code seems like a huge task.
Mainly because I am feeling really drowsy in the middle of the day🥱

practiseSafeHex:

software engineer, iOS developer, mobile developer, professional "here is the answer I gave you the last time you asked me the same question" responder

You always amaze me Windows!

Usual legacy development flow (https://turnoff.us/geek/...)

To new web devs from a new web dev:
Try to design your site before you write a single line of code. Be it Photoshop, Paint, a piece of paper, a literal goddamn canvas, you name it. You may thank yourself for it later.

I can relate...

Development is a team sport.

If you think you can do something better but your team doesn't understand it or can't work with them. You have two options: Teach them or don't do it.

This task seems easy but teach and tell are different things. Prepare to repeat things over and over again and give up your own time to share the knowledge.

devRant.......devRant everywhere!! 😎

Debian is installing

When doge is love and doge is life.
Yes, this is my laptop:

But that is my email....

Dear Clients,

if you really think what I do has so little value that you won’t pay for it, why on earth would you think it was going to help your business in any way? It’s clearly not worth it. How can it have a positive impact?

- Your Unpaid Developer

Interviewer: what would you say your biggest accomplishments to date are?

Me: ............*thinking* I made that kick-ass sandwich that one time!

“I sent a document to print but it hasn't come out... I think the printer might be broken”

NO! The printer is not BROKEN just because you can’t print. You see that person over there at the printer? Yes, that one collecting their print job now? THE PRINTER IS NOT BROKEN!

Typical development cycle:

Spend hours trying to think of a solution to a problem.

Get epiphany and implement possible solution.

Be afraid to compile it in case of bugs or errors

Boss insisted that verification link needs to be clicked from same IP address as account registration. Many arguments later, decision is final, we will ignore the numerous ways that this will be a burden to our users.

*Code code, test test, deploy*

We're getting a lot of traffic, we need this bitch to scale! *auto-scale and load balance all the things*

Account creation begins breaking at random, some people receiving the "Your IP address doesn't match" error. Look at login history table, what the shit... All recent logins coming from internal IP addressohfuckmylife need to look at X-Forwarded-For header for actual IP behind load balancer.

IP address matching feature stays. I am sad, drink away sadness.

"Forgive me" is quite a common comment in GitHub projects.

How I discovered I was a developer:

The company had hired a pair of computer science graduates and we had been commissioned to build a magento store. Weeks went buy with limited progress, and missing functionality was met with protestations from the devs about unreasonable demands.

At this time I had been taken on as a designer / casual front end developer (though the focus was on design). I knew HTML, CSS and some very limited php and js.

We were severely over deadline, and seeing the desperation on people's faces I suggested looking into it.

I read the magento docs, got an install up an running, configured an installed plugins, integrated the theme using the complex multilevelled XML/phtml architecture magento uses and even got some of the more complex js functionality working using JavaScript.

In two weeks.

I'm now the lead developer

That moment when you notice that devrant addiction is starting to be a global threat to developers:
Stop devrant immigration
Make code great again
Compile a wall around devrant and let developers write it

One of my trainees some years ago was too lazy to process his networking homework, so he just modified the binary of that cisco tool he would have to use and removed the password prompt at all to access the solutions.

I feel the same way every single day

I tried to convince my boss that choosing ruby on rails would be a great framework for the projects they want me to develop. I even put together a presentation to show why it's capable.
I did it because I've completed a great course on coursera, and wanted to gain more experience in real projects.
Yet they've dismissed the idea cause there is noone else working at the company who has any competence in rails, so I have to do all the work in yii. There are lot if similarities between the two framewoks but I have no interest in php and I haven't touched php in like, 8 years...
Need to find a way to practice rails in the meantime.

GAH!!! I was programming and this happened!!!

Guess who has a nice new pocket laptop? :)

Someone needs to teach the editors at Wired about HTML. ...and incidentally go Wild!

So my mom says her printer isn't working anymore. I sit and battle with drivers and mysteriously missing virtual usb ports for two hours, give up, we decide to buy a new printer.

Next day she says her scanner isn't working either.

It's only then that I notice her USB hub cable is unplugged.. aargh.

My app probably shouldn't be consuming 5.8gigs of bandwidth.

When you're too busy ranting...