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Sending a well typed professional email to your boss, but receiving a:
Sure thing
Dave
Sent from my iPhone9 -
Being a software developer automatically qualifies you to fix paper jams and wi-fi issues in the eyes of your family.5
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I like it when a boss is a Dev (or a former Dev). Makes them a bit more sympathetic towards us i think :)2
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A while back a co-worker of mine fucked up by leaving some debug code and pushing to production.
He quickly repaired it, redeployed and everything was good again before the customer experienced any issues.
Later that day, management showed up by his desk to ask what happened, how it happened and stating that he was not "angry enough" about his fuck up, long after it has been repaired.
Up to this day i regret not asking in what unit of measurement we could determine if we were angry enough; decibels? gray hairs? grams of shit in my underwear?4 -
/* secret devRant script */
let joke = "why do Java developers wear glasses? Because they can't C#"
//check if rant was posted recently
if ( !recentRants.find(joke) ) {
postRant(joke)
}4 -
I love the skill requirements section of a junior Dev job advertisement.
To summarise "Basically you'll need all the skills and experience of a senior, but we are gonna pay you much much less". 😔1 -
When someone comes to your desk and asks "did you get my slack message".... Which they sent 23 seconds ago 😒4
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Giving functions exciting names so you can feel like a Bond villain while programming:
execute(); destroy(); fire(); isDead();6 -
"So Alecx, how did you solve the issues with the data provided to you by hr for <X> application?"
Said the VP of my institution in charge of my department.
"It was complex sir, I could not figure out much of the general ideas of the data schema since it came from a bunch of people not trained in I.T (HR) and as such I had to do some experiments in the data to find the relationships with the data, this brought about 4 different relations in the data, the program determined them for me based on the most common type of data, the model deemed it a "user", from that I just extracted the information that I needed, and generated the tables through Golang's gorm"
VP nodding and listening intently...."how did you make those relationships?" me "I started a simple pattern recognition module through supervised mach..." VP: Machine learning, that sounds like A.I
Me: "Yes sir, it was, but the problem was fairly easy for the schema to determ.." VP: A.I, at our institution, back in my day it was a dream to have such technology, you are the director of web tech, what is it to you to know of this?"
Me: "I just like to experiment with new stuff, it was the easiest rout to determine these things, I just felt that i should use it if I can"
VP: "This is amazing, I'll go by your office later"
Dude speaks wonders of me. The idea was simple, read through the CSV that was provided to me, have the parsing done in a notebook, make it determine the relationships in the data and spout out a bunch of JSON that I could use. Hook it up to a simple gorm golang script and generate the tables for that. Much simpler than the bullshit that we have in php. I used this to create a new database since the previous application had issues. The app will still have a php frontend and backend, but now I don't leave the parsing of the data to php, which quite frankly, php sucks for imho. The Python codebase will then create the json files through the predictive modeling (98% accuaracy) and then the go program will populate the db for me.
There are also some node scripts that help test the data since the data is json.
All in all a good day of work. The VP seems scared since he knows no one on this side of town knows about this kind of tech. Me? I am just happy I get to experiment. Y'all should have seen his face when I showed him a rather large app written in Clojure, the man just went 0.0 when he saw Lisp code.
I think I scare him.12 -
Programming on a train is always interesting. I expect a minimum of one dirty/confused look off a member of the public.2
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Curious did any of you have a specific reason to learn how to program?
I wanted to be involved in aerospace but realised I'd probably never be an Astronaut, but i could learn how to write the software that controls the spacecrafts!12 -
Are any of you guys sentimental about your early programming efforts? I still have my first few simple Python programs on my computer, from years ago!
print("hello world")8 -
Serious question: why all the hate on PHP?
I've been using it as my main language, and genuinely like it. Tried Java but find that to be typing a fuckload to get the same task done. Javascript is nice, but still, i prefer PHP (probably mostly because i know it).
Just really curious, what have i been missing?14 -
Do you guys ever feel like you lose the ability to be objective about your own work. I've looked at my website for so long now, I don't know if I think it's good or not...5
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Man collapses in the street, his wife "help, we need a doctor".
Dev speaks up "I did recently move to a standing desk"1 -
body {
overflow-x: hidden;
}
is a bit like trying to fix a broken arm by wearing a long sleeve shirt 😅 -
Magento 2.
If you've worked with it, you know why.
If you don't know why, do yourself a favor and keep it that way.7 -
Are people using Vim doing it for the sake of it? Is there such a thing as a Vim hipster?
I mean, nano is just nicer 😇15 -
Started porting one application written in php to:
Golang(and some libraries to make certain sht simpler like GORM and Gorilla amongst a couple of others, most shit is STD shit already built in)
Java Spring(I know it well, but wanted to try this particular app in it, lots of boilerplate although the coded is solid AF)
.NET Core API, which I separated in a series of modules for the domain interface, the persistence logic, the actual api etc, I really dig it. It has a basic React frontend in Typescript whereas the other 2 versions are using the standard Go html/template package and the Twig interface for Spring.
My favorite thus far is Golang. I find it extremely easy to extend, the language reads good enough for a retard like myself to make sense of it fairly easy, really easy to test and experiment with it, any idea I get for something to add(say users and stuff) took me less than 30 mins to figure out while reading the actual documentation, as in the base documentation or just the source code.
I know the language is retard proof, and I am highly enjoying this. Not to say that the other two are bad, not at all, been using C# and Java for years now, but I highly appreciate being able to concentrate on functionality rather than all the fucking architectural boilerplate needed to run basic shit in the other two frameworks. Thus far Golang has been a breath of fresh air the likes Clojure gives me, while not even being a profound or mind blowing language in terms of features(since other than the interface{} and goroutines i can't think of shit) and have not reached a scenario in which I am stuck or dying to have generics one bit for the overall business logic.
The app is growing like crazy in terms of code since the original php application was huge to begin with, but dear me this shit is as simple as it can get without being too technical. Might move it to production once all usability tests pass and force the rest of the staff to learn it. I have one lead dev that damn near refuses to touch anything other than php, and a very eager to try shit out content administrator that comes from a Java and C# background.
all I want to say is how much I love go haha4 -
I love how our industry has invented such important sounding yet meaningless job titles...
Developer, software engineer, software architect, developer evangelist, dev ops engineer, systems analyst, quality assurance engineer, code monkey...4 -
I don't know why... But I cringe when somebody says "coding", "coder". Maybe it's because it's an Americanism...1
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Desk fans whirling. Sweating co-workers. An extra short stand-up.
That's right, the English summer has arrived.1 -
Service's like freelance and people per hour are a farce. It's just a constant race to the bottom price-wise.
'Yeah sure I can make you a blog website in 24 hours for £5' -
The first 30 minutes of a working day often consist of me saying, "who broke this then?" Then a liberal use of git blame.
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I knew I wanted to be a Dev ever since I discovered that the Apollo missions, used a flight computer less powerful than a average mobile phone.
If they could put a man on the moon with that, imagine what I could do now... -
I've been using go for two days and I'm already pissed at it. Don't get me wrong, I like the language itself, I love the simplicity, the tooling and frameworks are the problem. Like, why does everything have to be so hard?
Why do I have to spend around 4 hours in total just to configure a fucking linter?
Why does everything have to live inside the fucking GOPATH?
Why the fuck can't I put a src/ folder in my project so I don't mix code with config files, docker files, etc?
Why the hell does documentation for frameworks/libraries/tools suck so much? Looking at you Gin and Gorm.
Why can't gin-swagger just find out what routes I have?
I must be either dumb or chosen the wrong frameworks and libraries, but the "development experience" I'm having sucks. Nothing works first try and documentation is shit and vague.
I want to like the language, but I can't, at least not if it's always going to be shit like this. Does it get better? Am I just a noob? Or should I just jump ship and look for something else?4 -
Back when I was at uni, we had this group project based on data security.
At the first sit down meeting we had as a team, this one guy sat down and said "to be honest guys I'd be happy with a pass (40-50%) for this module"...
Well great.2 -
Dreading the end of this bank holiday weekend, tomorrow I must wake up and return to working with legacy code.
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Really interesting video by FunFunFunction https://youtu.be/J9OpTNk0hYc.
"Does a developer need to be nice". How many times have you guys been made to feel stupid for asking a question or for getting something wrong?2 -
Pressing the provisioning profiles "fix this issue" button in Xcode... And getting roasted for being a noob by the entire office.1
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Hi people, I need some help.
First, stack , Golang/gorm(ORM)
I need doing a simple sum(amount) , I have a " db.Table("orders").Select("sum(amount) as Amount, merchants.name").Joins("inner join merchants on merchants.id = orders.merchant_id AND merchants.name = ? GROUP BY merchants.name", key).Scan(&total)
total is a struct type .
Are there any smell and I don't see ....?1 -
!rant;
if (!me && !someoneiknow && (MusicThatGetsMeInTheZone === true)) {
https://soundcloud.com/dubdogzmusic
}
The 100k mix is really nice. Thought id share :)
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