Boss : How do you access code at home ?

Me : Well, Git is fairly accessible from anywhere with the right credentials at hand

Boss : What of you have virus in your system ? Can't the virus infect our NodeJS code ?

Since then, I haven't been able to get out of the mental comatose induced.

Introducing No.js! A revolutionary new framework. Just build your templates and then... Stop. No worrying about browser compatibility. Web dev has never been so simple.

" What's the big deal ?
It's just an if condition right ? " - Every manager / product owner ever.

And all the devs be like #facepalm !

0.1 + 0.2 ≠ 0.3

That's JavaScript.

And it caused me two days of agony and irrational bug fixing.

After the end of Sprint, well, the QA people came up with this defect ( mind it 'defect' ) : "The exclamation mark is not very red" [ sic ]

Cancer died a death that moment.

! Worst thing another dev did in our NodeJS code.

1. No indentation. Literally.
2. A single function in a module worth 1000 lines. I'm not even kidding. No breaking into smaller functions. Just a large rock with a lot of js mess scribbled.
3. No comments at all
4. Sending stray values to promises which were not required at all.
5. No jsdoc. Using camelCase and uppercase interchangeably.

I was asked to update the whole confidential, financial database by exporting it as excel, and using Macros to edit its content. Much akin to adding one extra attribute per row.

The truth is, the table originally had 6.3k records. After updating and putting the data back to NoSQL database again, I realized I ended up creating 7k rows of data. Yet it works just perfect !

*HAILS TO ALMIGHTY FOR THE MIRACLE*

Sometimes, I still wonder where did those effin 700 rows come from, even after I skipped an excel while uploading

What's the fruit we often see, and find faults in ?

Pear.

Because pear review.

! wk95

My project back in university, where I used bash and NLP and Python to create a utility thay would execute sentences written in English. Much like typing "change my wallpaper to abc.jpg"

Even though the tokenizer took almost five minutes to tokenize a sentence ( longer than five words ), and the parser took even longer, I still love it, for it was my first dive into ML !

The product owner, cum our solutions architect is dumb.
It takes him ages to explain one shit.
Also, he is an expert on triggering useless chaos and panic, thanks to his innate abilities to misinterpret shit.
He thinks everything should happen at 3×10^8 m/s.

You've developed APIs. And they're working locally.
What's the issue in giving that to the front-end team to consume them ?? ( Said in angry raised pitch )

Somebody please let that dumbfu manager know that the codebase needs to be DEPLOYED on a server somewhere. Without that, you just can't magically build code from codebase and give it to people like code fairy !

Working on an epic of financial gateway transfer. Following what our douche onshore guy had proposed, we realized there was a can of worms ahead.

Discussing the flow ( aka which service calls which, which file calls which ) with him over the call, we had to literally remind him the entire script of flow he had proposed.

At the end, he says, set up a call right now to discuss the ALGORITHM.

And at that moment, CLRS laughed their asses off.

Why the f--k, to coercely sound technical, does he say ALGORITHM to a FLOW of modular components ?

!wk94

Those meetings.

Those bloody meetings are nothing but time suckers. Much akin to some family event where they bring everyone together, regardless of their relevance to the agenda.

Also, the fact that we have been scheduling some important meeting always since 2 fucking months, only to be declined ALWAYS. The bloody meeting has been floating as an action item for 2 months, but none gives a fuck.

But no, we want to have meetings about meetings, and meetings about why a meeting didn't happen.

Also they ask us to stretch and accommodate, sucking time out of dev.

W H Y ?

How about writing everything on JavaScript?