A non-techie just asked me this, "when your computer overheats, why does it freeze?"

My non techie girlfriend :) <3
-----------

She: Hey I am getting a new phone!

Me: which one?

She: Apple I phone

Me: oh cool!

She: yea I am really excited. I can't wait to have more space on my phone. I can't have anything on my current phone.

Me: yup.

She: new phone will have a lot of storage space. Its going to be 64MB. Imagine all the things I can do with it now.

Me: Hey, the 90's called, they want their storage sizes back.

*hilarious laughter ensues*

Dat iPhone crowd doe. Android 4 life.

So my girlfriend (non techie) just saw my rant about how I'd give her a baby if she knew how to close vim in a proper way (she saw me on devRant, asked me to show it and read my rants) and so I showed her vim so she'd get the joke.

I than told her, how it worked and such so she'd see how it's not a regular text editor and told her to try and quit it, and to my amazement, she did!

Guess she's a keeper :')

Share this with your non-techie friends

The other day, I had a talk with my dad and he asked me about why YouTube is recommending him videos that he saw in the past or that type of ads. He is a non-techie btw.
I told him about personalized ads and so on.
Told him the "advantages" and the disadvantages of it. I even explained the advantages like if they would be so good that they are on the same level as holy things that happened to humanity. That was just to test him though.
And guess what?
He was completely against it. He said that it just brings disadvantages and no advantages at all. He was pissed that YouTube was recording his search history and so on to make a profile of him. He cares for his privacy. And I'm proud to have such a dad. :)

Quote by my non-techie co-founder: when a developer says a new feature takes X amount of time, you always have to multiply X by PI to get the actual duration 🤓

Those developers working under non-technical bosses, i understand your pain.

1. Pain when they don't realise that output != number of hours put in. Aaaaaaand that acting busy doesn't mean someone's working.
2. Pain when chilling out in office is necessary, because mind jobs don't work same as other jobs. Wherein if you don't vent it out you're gonna screw up the code. Them not getting that.
3. Pain of "meetings".
4. Pain of changing the feature when you're done, and them acting as if its a minor change.
5. Pain of vague requirements.
6. Pain of a product not thought through, and them trying to blame the implementation.

Note: our PM is new.
PM: can you help me?
Me: sure, what do you need?
PM: where do the folders with all the techie stuff come from?

I had no context and spent the next 20 minutes trying to work out what folders she was on about. Turned out she wanted to know where the client side folders on our development server come from, was going to explain 'Gulp' and 'Branch' to her but I think I'd be there for the rest of the day... Why do 'tech' companies hire non-tech-savie people.

me : hey tried allo?
her : what is that?
me : it's an amazing new chat app with google built in and you can do blah blah blah.......

*goes on to explain cool stuff*

her: can i send messages to whatsapp from allo?

me : I AM DONE

The definition of torture: watching your non-techie wife attempt to setup a new computer and refusing to accept help.

... there are so many metaphors I can put here but if she sees any of them it would be grounds for divorce so I will leave it at that.

I hate when I'm in a SSH shell on my phone and all my non-techie friends think I'm programming some elaborate app

Always under-promise and over-deliver when you're dealing with non-techie clients. Always.

You know that feeling when a non-techie decision maker understands you and makes the right calls? Nah, me neither.

Why do developers act like it's such a travesty when a non-techie says something wrong or ignorant about tech? It's not like we study computers and programming for a career and therefore know a lot more or anything...
Plus, it's not the non-techie's fault that the schools don't teach computer schools that well.

Non-techie friend: Does Blu-ray Compact disc will be blue in color or contains blue films ( In India we use blue films to refer porn movies ) ?

Me: :/

When a marketing / sales person says in a meeting with executives that our current infrastructure can handle 300.000 new customers easily. (We're at 90 ATM).

Mfw I'm the techie in the room and aware of our non-scaling mysql DB.

Non techie colleague: ... Yeah she really likes sending gifs
Me: is it 'gif' or 'jif'
Non techie: "I don't know 'gif' - 'jif', no 'jif just sounds weird"
Me: ah but the creator called them 'jifs'
TECHIE colleague: yeah well he's just wrong!

My non-techie girlfriend tends to get a tad pissed at me when she understands what people are talking about when she overhears them talking about programming stuff, e.g. "website with Python backend" or "differences between JavaScript and EcmaScript"... what can I say, she's the best rubber duck there is!

Sometimes it's a challenge to show how much work I've accomplished to a non-techie (<- any good nicknames for such people?).

I mean yes it looks like it's pretty simple but there were like ~5000 new lines of code and 2 weeks of work put into getting this thing working perfectly, looking sexy, and moving efficiently all while making sure it protects our infra from idiots like you!

I really value the skills, experience and time of my brothers and sisters here at Devrant. So I ask questions sparingly.

What is a really good website sketch/blueprint software that I can use to collaborate with non-techie humans.

Thank you for your time.
Have a great day fellow devranters.

I feel lucky to be a developer.

yes just keep frustrating hours of debugging and other boring stuff aside for a moment.

I love to solved physical problem with digital solutions, I worked as a full stack developer in company using same skills to earn money by doing freelancing.

while my other non techie friends are crying for extra income, I earn enough in freelancing to pay my rent and other stuff

😍😍😍😍

Answering non techie people what my job is. I could say I'm a software engineer, and they would understand because it has the word "engineer". But i prefer to introduce myself as a developer but they give me a confused look.

I think engineer is an overused term and i hate that term, for me, connected to typical asian patents who forces their kids to be an engineer or doctor.

I'm creating a webapp or I could say a common Markdown editor where user can write markdown and download it's created markdown in html form but I want also add a feature where non techie user can host their written markdown on github pages as a static html page through my app interface, is here any api that github provide us to do this or any other way to do this, please help?

HOW TO HIRE A HACKER TO HELP ME RECOVER MY STOLEN FUNDS— HIRE DIGITAL HACK RECOVERY COMPANY

When I received an email claiming I had been selected for a government grant of $30,000, I was excited. As a small business owner in Florida, this seemed like a fantastic opportunity to help my business grow. The message looked official, complete with government logos and persuasive language, explaining that I just needed to pay a processing fee upfront to receive the funds. Trusting that it was legitimate, I paid the $15,000 fee, believing the grant money would soon be deposited into my account.But after several days passed without any sign of the promised $30,000, I began to get concerned. When I tried to reach out to the contact provided in the email, the phone number was disconnected, and the email bounced back. That’s when it hit me—I had been scammed. The $15,000 I had paid was gone, and I didn’t know how to get it back.That’s when I turned to Digital Hack Recovery. I knew I needed help recovering the lost funds, and Digital Hack Recovery specializes in helping victims of online fraud. After reviewing my case, they quickly identified that I had fallen for a fake government grant scam. The fraudsters had used highly convincing tactics, including fake government logos and official-sounding messages, to trick me into paying for a non-existent grant.Digital Hack Recovery acted swiftly, guiding me through the steps of reporting the scam to the Federal Trade Commission (FTC), the Better Business Bureau (BBB), and the U.S. Department of Justice (DOJ). They also helped me contact my bank to initiate a chargeback and worked with government agencies and financial institutions to trace the fraudulent transactions.Thanks to Digital Hack Recovery’s persistence and expertise, I was able to recover $14,500 of the $15,000 I had lost. While not all of the funds were recoverable due to the fraudsters’ efforts to launder the money, I was relieved to get most of it back. The entire process was complicated, but Digital Hack Recovery made it manageable, keeping me informed and handling the intricate details.This experience taught me a valuable lesson about being cautious with unsolicited offers, especially those that require upfront payments for government grants or loans. I’m incredibly grateful for the help I received from Digital Hack Recovery, not only for recovering my funds but also for ensuring I’m better prepared to protect myself from future scams. Contact Digital Hack Recovery via⁚

WhatsApp⁚ +1(915)2151930
Webpage⁚ https : // digital hack recovery . com
Email⁚ digital hack recovery @ techie . com