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Search - "techie"
A few days ago while browsing devRant, my girlfriend stopped me at this one post and asked why does this person have a rubber duck. I went on to explain her about Rubber Duck Debugging. She was totally amazed by the concept (she's not a techie). Today suddenly a package arrived at my door step from her.
Well now I have an entire family of rubber ducks to code with :D22
My non techie girlfriend :) <3
She: Hey I am getting a new phone!
Me: which one?
She: Apple I phone
Me: oh cool!
She: yea I am really excited. I can't wait to have more space on my phone. I can't have anything on my current phone.
She: new phone will have a lot of storage space. Its going to be 64MB. Imagine all the things I can do with it now.
Me: Hey, the 90's called, they want their storage sizes back.
*hilarious laughter ensues*
Dat iPhone crowd doe. Android 4 life.13
So my girlfriend (non techie) just saw my rant about how I'd give her a baby if she knew how to close vim in a proper way (she saw me on devRant, asked me to show it and read my rants) and so I showed her vim so she'd get the joke.
I than told her, how it worked and such so she'd see how it's not a regular text editor and told her to try and quit it, and to my amazement, she did!
Guess she's a keeper :')12
Just saw Time magazine's cover
Person of the year 2019: Greta Thunberg
What the fuck did she do to deserve that????
It's time someone acknowledge a developer/techie as a person of the year.
There was automation, spaceX and many more advancement in the field of technology. Why does it feel like technology is always taken for granted.
Not to sound to sexist with that comment. But, living in Sweden (one of the most developed country) and telling the world leaders go fuck themselves is not an achievement.32
Just wanna share with my devrant family.
Now I have own restaurant.
Ya ya I know it's nothing techie but I m happy that I own some business and I will test my entrepreneur skills here.
Went to see Jason Bourne last night. No spoilers, but I'm guessing this is how the writers came up with the story:
Writer 1: Let's make it super techie
W2: Yeah, that way it's about current issues, like Internet privacy.
W1: Should we hire a tech consultant so we get things right?
W2: Nah, I saw the Matrix once, I understand computers.
Actual line from film:
"Use SQL to corrupt their database"
I'm supposed to be a techie and prefer all the digital stuff, but this is by far the best Christmas present I'll be getting this year5
Being a techie surrounded by "normal" people is like a torment you didn't ask for. I just watched someone copy a whole folder of images to their flash drive.
File by file.
Without keyboard shortcuts.
In one explorer window.
Select, copy, navigate to flash drive, paste, navigate to folder, repeat.8
Happened half a year ago (parents both use Linux although they're very a-techie).
*Dads laptop comes back from store after a repair*
Dad: (on the phone) hello son, could you help me out? they put some weird stuff on my laptop at the repair centre...
Me: Weird stuff? like what?
Dad: It's a virus I think
Me: A virus??
Dad: Definitely a virus!
Me: And what is this virus called?
Dad: Windows 10!
Me: Oh yes coming over asap to get that removed!
I put elementary OS on it again when i went to visit my parents.17
The other day, I had a talk with my dad and he asked me about why YouTube is recommending him videos that he saw in the past or that type of ads. He is a non-techie btw.
I told him about personalized ads and so on.
Told him the "advantages" and the disadvantages of it. I even explained the advantages like if they would be so good that they are on the same level as holy things that happened to humanity. That was just to test him though.
And guess what?
He was completely against it. He said that it just brings disadvantages and no advantages at all. He was pissed that YouTube was recording his search history and so on to make a profile of him. He cares for his privacy. And I'm proud to have such a dad. :)5
Quote by my non-techie co-founder: when a developer says a new feature takes X amount of time, you always have to multiply X by PI to get the actual duration 🤓8
Note: our PM is new.
PM: can you help me?
Me: sure, what do you need?
PM: where do the folders with all the techie stuff come from?
I had no context and spent the next 20 minutes trying to work out what folders she was on about. Turned out she wanted to know where the client side folders on our development server come from, was going to explain 'Gulp' and 'Branch' to her but I think I'd be there for the rest of the day... Why do 'tech' companies hire non-tech-savie people.4
Those developers working under non-technical bosses, i understand your pain.
1. Pain when they don't realise that output != number of hours put in. Aaaaaaand that acting busy doesn't mean someone's working.
2. Pain when chilling out in office is necessary, because mind jobs don't work same as other jobs. Wherein if you don't vent it out you're gonna screw up the code. Them not getting that.
3. Pain of "meetings".
4. Pain of changing the feature when you're done, and them acting as if its a minor change.
5. Pain of vague requirements.
6. Pain of a product not thought through, and them trying to blame the implementation.5
The definition of torture: watching your non-techie wife attempt to setup a new computer and refusing to accept help.
... there are so many metaphors I can put here but if she sees any of them it would be grounds for divorce so I will leave it at that.4
me : hey tried allo?
her : what is that?
me : it's an amazing new chat app with google built in and you can do blah blah blah.......
*goes on to explain cool stuff*
her: can i send messages to whatsapp from allo?
me : I AM DONE8
I hate when I'm in a SSH shell on my phone and all my non-techie friends think I'm programming some elaborate app2
So sometime back I was working as an android developer for a startup managed by a guy who wasn't much of a techie. The team wanted a share image to facebook option in the app, which required FB SDK integration into the app, which in turn will increase the app size and request more permissions. On discussing this with them and asking for the app secrets, they said that I'm being ridiculous, and denied me from giving the app secrets, citing the reason 'They're called secrets for a reason'.3
Just released version 1 of my first API! For this project I did everything the way I wanted to, no shortcuts! I documented the shit out of every endpoint and parameter. Everything is throughly tested and it’s dockerized. I also have metrics for each endpoint (with Grafana in the frontend, which I love) as well as alerts in case it would go down for some reason.
I prepared all of this before deploying it out into the wild and damn, it feels so good. Probably no one will use it but I don’t care. It’s one of those projects where you have to force yourself to go to bed at 2 AM.
Just some thoughts. Don’t really have any techie friends so figured maybe someone here recognizes that feeling. Also I wrote it in Python, such a pleasant language.11
This is the craziest shit... MY FUCKING SERVER JUST SET ON FIRE!!!
Like seriously its hot news (can't resist the puns), it's actually really bad news and I'm just in shock (it's not everyday you find out your running the hottest stack in the country :-P)... I thought it slow as fuck this morning but the office internet was also on the fritz so I carried on with my life until EVERYTHING went down (completely down - poof gone) and within 2 minutes I had a technician from the data centre telling me that something to do with fans had failed and they caught fire, melted and have become one with the hardware. WTF? The last time I went to the data centre it was so cold I pissed sitting down for 2 days because my dick vanished.
I'm just so fucking torn right now because initially I was absolutely fucking ecstatic - 1 week ago after a year of doomsday bitching about having a single point of failure and me not being a sysadmin only to have them look at me like I'm some kind of techie flat earther I finally got approval to spend around 5x more per month and migrate all our software to containerized micro services.
I'll admit this is a bit worse than I expected but thanks to last week at least I have recent off site images of the drives - because big surprise I have to set this monolithic beast back up (No small feat - its gonna be a long night) on a fresh VPS, I also have to do it on premises or the data will only finish uploading sometime next week.
Pro Tip: If your also pleading for more resources/better production environment only to be stone walled the second you mention there's a cost attached be like me - I gave them an ultimatum, either I deploy the software on a stack that's manageable or they man the fuck up and pay a sys admin (This idea got them really amped up until they checked how much decent sys admins cost).
Now I have very flexible pockets because even if I go rambo the max server costs would only be 15-20% of a sys admins paycheck even though that is 13 x more than our current costs.3
I provide hosting for my clients. About 3 months ago I discovered that the hosting company that I'd been using had been swallowed up by EIG, which explained why the tech support had gone downhill.
So, I jumped to another hosting company. Same shit different company!
Apparently the fact that my browsers sit at "connecting" for up to 30 seconds, and I get a "could not connect to" message half the time while I'm trying to fucking work on a deadline is the fault of some plug-in in a WordPress installation!
Oh yeah? Why then does this shit happen when I'm working on a pure html/css site?
Why then did it start happening after they "updated" my shared server?!
Oh, but the bastards suggest that I buy Cloudflare or pay for more space!
You fuckers made my work take 3 times as long, and you made an important migration fail!
Network places make mistakes. We all do. That's cool. Fucking own up to it, talk to me like a techie, and DON'T TRY TO BLAME IT ON ME OR MY TOOLS!
Fuck you! I think I'm gonna give Google Cloud a try, and do this shit myself!7
Well, my best friend passed away last week, he was 19 years old, a techie and a plane hobbyist, today, his mom called me and asked for help recovering his password on his windows 10 laptop
im going there tomorrow with my full arsenal of equipment required, do you have any suggestions what could be usefull?13
Devrant really goes against the movie techie stereotype. Almost everyone has a girlfriend or wife and family!!!8
You know that feeling when a non-techie decision maker understands you and makes the right calls? Nah, me neither.
If you weren't allowed to be called a developer/engineer/etc, what would you choose to call yourself?
Why do developers act like it's such a travesty when a non-techie says something wrong or ignorant about tech? It's not like we study computers and programming for a career and therefore know a lot more or anything...
Plus, it's not the non-techie's fault that the schools don't teach computer schools that well.5
Non-techie friend: Does Blu-ray Compact disc will be blue in color or contains blue films ( In India we use blue films to refer porn movies ) ?
Non techie colleague: ... Yeah she really likes sending gifs
Me: is it 'gif' or 'jif'
Non techie: "I don't know 'gif' - 'jif', no 'jif just sounds weird"
Me: ah but the creator called them 'jifs'
TECHIE colleague: yeah well he's just wrong!7
When a marketing / sales person says in a meeting with executives that our current infrastructure can handle 300.000 new customers easily. (We're at 90 ATM).
Mfw I'm the techie in the room and aware of our non-scaling mysql DB.
@Gerrymandered recently posted a rant, https://devrant.com/rants/1003724/..., and his reasons, which I won't really go into much, are completely legitimate.
We were talking in class and he was getting annoyed with people hating others for actually trying to defend the different flavors or Operating Systems. I've gone into it once or twice, but I feel the need to again. I'm actually going to be blunt this time, unlike my last one:
Linux has its niche. If you like it, then it usually works.
Windows has its niche. Businesses ***typically*** choose it first (with few exceptions, @linuxxx don't even bother coming in here to defend Linux. Love ya and all, but you really piss me off sometimes. Just saying.)
macOS has its niche. If you're a designer, try it. You might be surprised.
Can people shut the fuck up with the constant bashing of every single OS in existence with a focus seemingly on Windows? We get it, the dev community LOOOOOOOOOOVES to fucking hate Windows. Who doesn't? It can be broken as hell, but for a lot of purposes, it works. If I want to use Windows, then let me, and if you complain that because I'm a techie or anything that I can't use it, please go fuck yourself with a moldy rusty fork left out in a hurricane 20 years ago.
That is all.10
Sometimes I like to see how the other side live and just watch people in a computer store.
There are the nervous tip-toers who don't want to attract attention. The point and lookers, who read the sign and nod and show they understood.
There are the ones who just wander aimlessly trying to look like they know what they want.
Finally there are the 'expert helpers' who know enough 'techie' words to convince anyone around that they know what they're talking about.
It's like a people zoo.1
Sometimes it's a challenge to show how much work I've accomplished to a non-techie (<- any good nicknames for such people?).
I mean yes it looks like it's pretty simple but there were like ~5000 new lines of code and 2 weeks of work put into getting this thing working perfectly, looking sexy, and moving efficiently all while making sure it protects our infra from idiots like you!3
So my co-founder, tried to outdo my equity in the company, by asking me to give up percentage of our equity for his father, so that he could have the leverage.
He is not talking to me since then,
When I said politely to piss off.
Just because you are a techie people try to abuse you
Any advice ?9
I feel lucky to be a developer.
yes just keep frustrating hours of debugging and other boring stuff aside for a moment.
I love to solved physical problem with digital solutions, I worked as a full stack developer in company using same skills to earn money by doing freelancing.
while my other non techie friends are crying for extra income, I earn enough in freelancing to pay my rent and other stuff
I really value the skills, experience and time of my brothers and sisters here at Devrant. So I ask questions sparingly.
What is a really good website sketch/blueprint software that I can use to collaborate with non-techie humans.
Thank you for your time.
Have a great day fellow devranters.3
the current generation:
"You have never sat through an entire movie without having at least one device on your body beep or buzz"6
My dad has gotten some annoying viruses in his PC and I'm getting so mad at how slow his computer is and since I'm the techie at home... //ANNOYED SIGH
I shall do it. I shall get my dad's computer rid of this crap but it's so slow oh my god >:V5
A tech as well as a life question (actually more of a useless sleepless thought) : What do you think is more important? Exposing yourself to multiple technologies, career paths and life experiences or diving deep into a single technology, career path and life experience?
I feel like being an expert in 1 tech might pay off in terms of job life , and it would be bad for a person who is constantly switching between career paths, but sometimes i feel like i should have tried other paths too. Not just the life of a techie, like people who are deep into media and journalism, accountancy or those film industry jobs ; politics or finances , etc.
Its like, we found an apple to be a tasty fruit and now we have to be the apple guy forever. The better i am in being the apple guy, the more i will have to eat apples and the more i will earn. Why can't i try pears or oranges?6
Accidentally... I was flicking through YouTube and ended up watching a video showing some VB I think, I enjoyed it (I've always been a techie), and it went from there... Now I'm the senior (web - progressed from VB pretty sharpish) developer. I actually wanted to be a Secondary School Art Teacher.1
There was this tech guy in our project. I don't really know how techy nor what his role was, but I do know he was a techie.
Lately we'd noticed he was behaving more and more managerish. Orchestrating resources over slack, scheduling meetings, the managerial slang... Bulletpoints... It was obvious what's going to happen - he was striving for a manager's chair. Cool. He seemed like a guy who can indeed do this well. And the fact that he's a techie was promising - he should understand so many things.
Boy did that come around and bite us in our asses. Turns out this guy is a googler. If we are working on some case [as we always are] he jumps in and offers his opinion, although he is far from our technical area. We explain how/why it is not a good idea. Then he does some googling and comes back with a different idea! And insists on testing it out... FTR, a single test in our project could take from 1 to 6 hours. And he's a manager now!! We can't just ignore his requests...
Allright, we do that testing. Results are far from satisfying. We continue investigating. He does as well. We'd like to try something out, but there he comes with a new idea! And ofc we are asked to test it out as well.
Our own testing is postponed again.
A few days like this one pass by. In a daily meeting we are blamed for taking that long to do our investigation and we are questioned as engineers.
Honestly? I'm having second thoughts about this new role. It's supposed to be fun and challenging and all, but this kind of shit is just too much...7
As my apt renovation is nearly completed it's time to get all the cool toys. And that's where I need your ideas :)
what should I get? What techie-stuff would you think is worth considering?
I for one have wet dreams about vacuuming robots. Not a roomba ofc [bcz it ties to Apple], smth else. I get that an opensource robot would be a pipe dream, but I'd love smth I could control via bash scripts [prolly via lan] at least. Some api would be nice :) . Any advices here? Cleaning quality should be way above 'okay'.6
If you had 7 letters(incl. Space) to express you are a dev/techie/programmer, what would it be?
When I get a car I want a custom plate, but I only have 7 letters available27
How the heck can Twitter's algorithms for selecting "Who to follow" and "Trends" suggestions? I tweet exclusively (but rarely) about tech, but Twitter seems to think that loudmouthed SJWs would be the perfect people for a tech tweeter to follow.
FFS, intersectional gender studies from a class struggle perspective are not of the slightest interest to a techie.
Maybe Twitter just selects the most frequent tweeters in you area, regardless of content.3
As a techie how loves the climate, I feel like I am living two life's. On one hand, I want to protect my earth, but than I make a app, and Evan though I buy offsets, what about all of the users. Why was I born this way, and can the natural and the man-made coexist? That is the question I must ask myself all day. I am looking to drone powered climate research in a effort to prove to my self they benefit each other, but I just can't. I fucking hate my life rn2
!dev; New Yorkers @dfox @trogus
I'm planning to go up the One World Observatory tmr morning but not sure which ticket to buy, particularly the IPAD option with streaming video. It says you can watch them later although it also expires apparently. So I'm wondering it worth it... (I'm also thinking since it's streaming and I can share it with anyone, it means I can probably download it too... the techie way).
Also can I bring a USB charger? My plan is to sorta just sit up there in the morning. Then head to Timeout Market for lunch-dinner.3
You don't belong to this generation if, you have never sat through an entire movie without having at least one device on your body beep or buzz"
Never got why react and all those js frameworks are so popular - css and jquery will load faster and do whatever you want them to not to mention all the jquery plugins you can use for free from fancy box to owl carousel. Sometimes i feel techies like something just because its new4
Answering non techie people what my job is. I could say I'm a software engineer, and they would understand because it has the word "engineer". But i prefer to introduce myself as a developer but they give me a confused look.
I think engineer is an overused term and i hate that term, for me, connected to typical asian patents who forces their kids to be an engineer or doctor.
Working with a client (who is a "techie") to authenticate mailchimp for their domain. After a week of fumbling about and with pressure building, the domain registrar claims to have set the correct DNS settings and to get pressure off him, he writes an email saying,
"CNAME has been added ask mailchimp to propagate on their end". FML
When the boss needs you to clarify a peice of info he received from a vendor/client because there's one techie word in it or the conversion involved you at one time.
I just got an email and it says we can't do 'thing a'. Does that really mean we can't do 'thing a'?
Yes. I'm gonna get back to work now.
Preparing for an interview tomorrow, am a nervous wreck. It's worse when you actually want the job and not just browsing through. The concept of your peers poking holes in your reasoning and deciding you're inadequate is far from appealing.3
Just had a memory popup about my uni days about 5 years ago. I was in my Junior year in business school and was doing a "consulting" project involving the whole Class (200 students). Groups of 4 were assigned an international company in either Europe, Asia, or South America. We'd visit them (as well as do some sightseeing) and learn about them (performance, market positions, products) during Spring Break and come up with a real proposal. We would then compete with other teams, and the winning pitchs for each would be presented in the school auditorium in front the entire class.
Our team didn't get that far but that's not the point. We did win the individual classroom competition. Our company was Deutsche Telekom (owner of T-Mobile).
This was in 2010, when the iPhone/smart-phones started to become mainstream... And our team's idea was location-based advertising.
Looking back, we basically predicted the future... though we got the wrong industry...
It's also sort of funny though because I remember the main reason we came up with the idea was to be different.
All other teams just went with some expansion plan to a neighboring country or cutting costs.... pure MBA/business plan. But I guess I was being a natural techie so thought of a tech idea instead.
We had a meeting with our professor after he picked us and he told us he had a history of spotting future hits. We were like "hm... ok... let's give it a shot... we definitely got an A!" but at that point I was sort of skeptical if this would actually work in real-life (the basic idea was they would sell ads to local businesses and if you were nearby, you would get a text message with an offer).
But guess he was pretty right... we just needed to have Google or Facebook to have been our company... though Groupon or Yelp works too... basically a tech company with larger scale rather than a mobile carrier...1
Being a while I was here fe. Guess I have had nothing to be angry with, at or by. I have not really being coding lately (well I have but for like 2 hours or less a day) maybe because I overworked myself in the past months and finished up most of the backend requirements for the startup. Quite bored with the project lately. Now I just manage the team and make sure everyone is doing what they are supposed to be doing. I have simply being at home watching animé and floating through my days. Planning a trip in a few days to hopefully get me out of this unenthusiastic funk as I am starting a new job next month and would love to be of top energy and motivation by then.1