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"Sir, I fixed the recent bug"
"Great, what did you do?"
"I commented out the code that was causing it :)"
"Brilliant! You didn't forget to push the code to production, did you?"
"No Sir, I pushed it immediately"
"Marvelous! I'll arrange a promotion for you next month"5 -
Sometime I’m developing in Rust and I do something wrong.
Then I look at the terminal and it says...
“You did X, did you mean to do Y”
Then I do it and it works perfectly, and I’m like...
Why do I even have a job if the compiler is this good?10 -
*sigh*
Ssh'd into raspberry pi:
$ sudo ip link set dev wlan0 down
*waits 5 minutes for response*
Oh.. Oh yeah..15 -
So my girlfriend (non techie) just saw my rant about how I'd give her a baby if she knew how to close vim in a proper way (she saw me on devRant, asked me to show it and read my rants) and so I showed her vim so she'd get the joke.
I than told her, how it worked and such so she'd see how it's not a regular text editor and told her to try and quit it, and to my amazement, she did!
Guess she's a keeper :')11 -
"Welcome to everybody's favorite show: Did It Break!?!"
"Here's our first contestant, Alex Brooklyn!"
* Audience claps *
''Tell us Alex, what command did you use?!"
ls -la
"And did it break production?!"
Not yet..., the website is still up, even checked without cache and on a different network, I haven't had any calls in half an hour and Sentry reports nothing
"Great to hear! On to round 2!"14 -
Me:*connects up laptop to projector via wifi bc teacher doesn't know shit about computers*
Teacher: *sits at computer*
Teacher: *closes the program that streams to projector*
Me:*facepalm*
Teacher: "Why did it stop working did you set it up wrong?"5 -
THEY DID IT!!!! THEY FINALLY DID IT!!!!
GITHUB FINALLY ADDED THIS FUCKING BUTTON!!!
I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS IS HAPPENING 😱😱😱😱
27 -
THEY PULLED IT OFF! THEY FUCKING DID IT. FUCK YES!
GO SPACEX
TO THE MOON
TO THE MARRS
AND FURTHER19 -
How do you tell HTML from HTML5?
- try it out in Internet Explorer
- did it work?
- no?
- it's HTML53 -
Today I asked my client to do "ctrl+f5" to empty browser cache he literally did "ctrl+f+5" and said "it did nothing"6
-
Me: Damn it guys, you broke the master branch again.
*Fixes master branch*
*15 minutes later*
Coworker: Bro, master branch is broken again.
Me: Oh for fuck's sake, who did it this time?
Coworker: You did.
Me: I have become the very thing I've swore to destroy.1 -
It works!! IT WORKS!!! IT MOTHERF@CKING WORKS!!
My private program FINALLY WORKS, and DOES WHAT ITS SUPPOSED TO....
YAAAAAYYYY!!!4 -
Took me a week to realize that "!rant" just means "not rant".
I thought it was some sort of post front-matter that was no longer supported by the app (like a Duck Duck Go "bang").
😅7 -
Crawling through some old code and asking myself:
-Who wrote it?
-When did he write it?
-What did he think then?
-Me
-Last week
-I have no idea -
Not a rant, but had to come here to post this.
I couldn't resist pranking my wife with the age old "Oh my God, I broke your laptop" prank.
SHE DID NOT FIND IT AS FUNNY AS I DID.
Anyone else tried it? If not, definitely try it.
20 -
Never did I realize how much I take it for granted.. Until it suddenly stopped working.
R.I.P space bar.4 -
Ah certbot you sexy pain in the ass.
# certbot renew
> "Error: unable to parse files ..."
> 2 certificates renewed.
🤔I don't know how you worked, but you keep working!!2 -
Well I did it guys. I'm officially a Software Engineer.
I'm feeling serious imposter syndrome. Working on telling myself that I'll be OK though.8 -
Everyday I wake up, I just think where did humanity go wrong? What mistakes were made? How the fuck did we end up with IE? And why do people still use it?5
-
Telling the customer that they are breaching guidelines.
"This cannot be against the guidelines. We always did it that way"
...
Ehm. You did what?2 -
Father devrant I have a confession to make:
I stayed up until 12 in the midnight during Sep 30 to do 4 PRs immediately once it was October 1 in under 1 hour...
Now I passed out on the classroom and people think I got possesed
b r u h6 -
I finally did delete my more than 7 years old fb account!
It was really not easy. But I made it! :)5 -
I saw a quote maybe 2 weeks after I signed up in this Heaven, I can't (read "I'm too lazy to") find the quote but some guy was lowkey panicking about the fact that all his friends were "currently building X, almost finishing to dev Y", while all he ever did was a small project like "yeeey, I can do something with my 10 fingers"
This rant was interesting, but the top comment kind of marked me, if I remember well, it said something like "All I read is 'doing' and 'almost finished', while you 'did'. I would trust you over these guys".
From this day, while I worked on two side projects, there was always a moment where I thought about this sentence.
Today, I finished one of my side projects. I DID it.
Dang it I feel complete.3 -
THE TIME HAS COME, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.
I finished the avatar editor on the rewrite. It works so well.
After trial and error in design, API reversing and more, I've finally done it.6 -
Me: Brooo, We did it last night!
Friend : Which base did you get to?
Me : Hbase
Friend: Ha, doope!4 -
Sometimes I just hit a "developer's block", when I'm just blankly staring at my screen wondering where did I start and how did I end up here!?
It is hell frustrating!!!6 -
Turns out I had some conversion issues and timing issues in the SD card file parser that I wrote... wtf it worked before I swear
It fully works now!!! I can now finally load presets from an SD card and apply them to the screen at my leisure.
5 -
User: "Why isn't this process updated? There's something wrong with your system."
Me: "Did you submit the request?"
User: "Uh yeah I'm sure I did..."
Me: "Go submit the request again." (they never did the first time)
User: "I don't know how. Will you show me?" *shows user how to do it* "Ok I did it now."
Me: "You did it wrong, you need to resubmit it."
User: "Ok I resubmitted it."
* a week later *
User: "The process still hasn't shown any progress."
Me: "You didn't resubmit it like you said you did."
User: "Will you show me how to do it again?"
* fuck me *
Me: "Sure..."
Process works as expected and everyone lives happily ever after, except the developer that knows it is just a matter of time till the next user blatantly lies, has no respect for anyone's time, and demonstrates a complete lack of desire to care about their job at all and just wants to bitch and complain like a typical lazy ass-hat.6 -
Can you be here Monday?
- It was Thursday
- I lived 650 miles away, and had to move
- I did it anyway5 -
I rewrote something in clean 20 lines of code, while my coworker had worked hard and ended up with like 80-100 lines. I did not talk to him before I did it, but asked him to review what I did. I still had to learn how to properly work together..3
-
I'm a 3rd generation developer in my family, my grandfather did it, my father did it, and my grandson will do it.6
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I did not use my Windows 10 since weeks. Now I wanted to play some games and I got a bluescreen. It reboots several times. I did not miss it.5
-
"Did you get it?"
"Yes. I GIT it"
* Silence *
"Oh. What were you saying?"
Things that happen when I'm coding. -
How many bits are in a nibble?
(nybble/nyble)
....I did not know, nor did I know what a nibble was...WITHOUT LOOKING IT UP.....any takers?4 -
Being kept up for the entire night.
You ask yourself what is keeping you awake, after all you need to meet with a client about presenting what they ordered from you.
Did you debug it? Yes.
Did you back it up incase something happens? Yes.
Did you get it done in the correct time period? Yes.
Did you export it in the format they had requested? Shit. -
This is a question for freelancers. How did you get your first clients? Did you just walk into small companies who didn't have a website or did you mail them or how did you do it?3
-
Working on a marijuana dealer website and there's an order of 420€ on it.
I bet she did it on purpose6 -
Atlasssian Bitbucket has broken umlauts since version 8.0 ...
https://jira.atlassian.com/browse/...
Ladies and gentleman,
it's the year 2022.
In the internet, dat "Neuland" as Mama Merkel used to say, Atlassian managed to revert back to the good old times of ASCII.
Who needs proper multibyte charset support anyway?
Just display broken shit - as broken as the quality management of that misanthropic chum bucket company called Atlassian.
Oh and the last upgrade to Confluence broke, too.
Was just very needed because of an remote code execution.
Cause you know the usual deal. Oops zero exploit, let's make it public, telling our customers that in cloud their data is safe, otherwise they need to shut off their instances or pray that they have a WAF that can filter strings...
What broke you might ask?
Unique constraint in database, the migration wizard loved to add few extra rows, solution was to fry the rows while instance running, followed by immediate cache drop, otherwise fun started again.
I hate Atlassian.4 -
projektaquarius's quotes to live by:
"Let it be known that I raised my concerns, then did it anyway" -
When your client tells you "it should just be like the other thing you did" and it turns out that it is completely different from the other thing you did in every possible way.2
-
Only just noticed that CSS has variables - when the fuck did this happen and where the hell was I when it did!!!!6
-
"Did you test it?"
"I can't remember"
For this question, Yes = yes, everything else is no, people just don't get it.1 -
In response to my previous rant: https://devrant.com/rants/4909354/...
I did it!
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Yeah I ROCK!!!!!
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I did it!
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I did it!
I did it!
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I did it!
I did it!
I did it!
I did it!
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I did it!
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I did it!
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I did it!
I did it!
I did it!
I did it!
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I did it!
I did it!
I did it!
I did it!
I did it!
I did it!
I did it!
I did it!
I did it!
I did it!
I did it!
I did it!
I did it!
I did it!
I did it!
I did it!
I did it!
I did it!
I did it!
I did it!
I did it!
I did it!
I did it!
I did it!
I did it!
I did it!
I did it!
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I did it!
I did it!
I did it!
I did it!
I did it!
I did it!
I did it!14 -
How do you tell HTML from HTML5?
Ans:
*Try it out in Internet Explorer
*Did it work?
* No?
* It's HTML52 -
woooooohoooooo! successfully installed Gentoo on my laptop after 7 hours of compilation. It's probably not in the perfect state as I'd like, but I hope to work it out.
My current problem...
WHY can't i have separate DPI's on different displays!!!!
I can't use my second monitor right now because of DPI issues.
BTW, i configured Gentoo + i3
For now, i'll sleep sound 😅😅😊😊😊2 -
"It was hard to code so it should be hard to understand."
- my former boss who did never document any code -
Did Windows really just force install an update on my notebook?
Got a bluescreen on this machine (first one ever). Then it did some counting from 0-100%. After that it installed updates and restarted!4 -
They did it. They really did it.
Oh my... I can't believe it.
I suggested app admins find a way to enable keep-alive in the app. And they installed it.
I mean it. KeepAlive_setup_v1.4.msi is what I found on the desktop.
Next, I feel like suggesting to download more RAM... After this stunt, I wouldn't even be surprised.....2 -
"If it ain't broke, don't fix it
I gave it to you straight don't mix it"...
Since when did DMX take on Programming?1 -
We've been using private GitHub repos as a distribution method for our personal npm packages at work for years.
I finally got sick of it and did the work to publish them to artifactory yesterday. Today, I worked out the remaining kinks, fixed the CI builds, and wrote a wiki page explaining the change with step by step migration instructions and sent it around to the rest of the devs. And it's working great!
I feel simultaneously like a hero for finally getting this fixed and an idiot for putting up with it for so long.
Also thankful for my devops friend who helped a bunch.1 -
If there's something wrong in the server room
Who you gonna blame? (the intern)
If the hard drive's grilled
And it don't look good
Who you gonna blame? (the intern)
If you're seeing keys in your'r github's HEAD
Who you gonna blame? (the intern)
Your PC's on fire
and the website's dead
Who you gonna blame? (the intern)
Disclaimer: My internship was a pretty cool time actually... :) -
Holy shit! The fuckery CEO of reddit did to himself is hilarious. He did no good by finally admitting the wrong he did.
To top it off, he himself called him the abuse which he was pissed off about.
Moral: Be moderate if you're gonna do something sketchy like that, rather than going all the way, and then to apologise about it in the end.2 -
How many of you have asked for a raise? How many have gotten it? How big was it? Did you leverage another job offer? How long did you work until you got it?10
-
Anyone here uses Contentful and Gatsby? Can you please share your experience? How hard was it to integrate them? How did they improve you development process? What problems did you encounter?3
-
Oh.... Fuck.....
I have an SSD.... but it's taken more than 10 mins to changed from 25 to 26%...
And it just restarted....
Now it's at 30%...
Now 50%...
I'm gonna goto dinner now and pray that I don't need to reinstall Windows...
btw I'm atheist...
6 -
New hire and haven't did anything other then look at the code base. How long did it take until you actually start contributing code at your first job?9
-
Tried it so many times.
Once a classmate did it to my computer while my teacher was looking at me.
1 -
just got off work,... ANOTHER DAY SPEND TRYING TO FIGURE SOMEONE ELSES PROD ISSUE....
Doesn't help when my PM's like did you figure it out yet, did you figure it out yet?
Why am I cleaning up other people's shit....1 -
Wanted to test out random number generation in different distributions. So did it using HTML/JS using google charts APIs, just to find out after sometime that R does what i did by default..2
-
define myDay() {
if (time==0600) {
while (sleeping == true) {
xiaomi.miBand.vibrate();
}
}
morningCoffee = new coffee("Strong");
sleep(120); // Gotta let that cool
while (morningCoffee.state.empty == false) {
morningCoffee.drink();
}
while (time > 0630) {
putFaceOn();
}
leaveForStation();
while (train.overground.atStation() == false) devRant.scroll;
getOnTrain();
while (train.overgrond.atStation("Kenton") == false) devRany.scroll;
getOffTrain();
getBus();
while (getToUni == false) devRant.writePost.wk4;
devRant.uploadPost.wk4;
while (time > 1300) project.workHard();
while (time > 1400) lunch.obliterate();
while (time > 2100) project.meetDeadline();
walkToFlat();
goToBed();
}3 -
Did you know you can fix touchscreen dead zones with an electric lighter?! 😮
I just did it and my mind is still blown that it actually worked. So much that I had to post it.17 -
So an update on my last rant(s) about dependencies and wasting time...
Today I finally lost it... With deadline fast approaching, i went to the big boss and he basically got everyone on his team to get their shit together and give me what I had asked for... 2 weeks ago...
It only took them 30mins.... Just the correct SQL query really...3 -
Was wondering, how dfox and trogus did it?
Was going through top rants of all time, and they categorized correctly, did they do it by hand?
I only checked first page, but that is a lot of work to do if they did it by hand1 -
has anyone written the first flagship software of a company and what happened to the software afterwards?
did you make good architecture decisions or did you just jank and roll with it? how did the software evolve over time? how was onboarding new devs to work on the software? what sorts of issues were there? did the company make it? what were external factors that made making it difficult?3 -
Update on my fever: reports confirm that it's Dengue NS1.
Has anyone experienced this before? How long did it take for you to recover?
What all things you did for recovery?10 -
I'm still learning so take it easy on me, I'm trying to learn typescript and Factory pattern, hope I did it correctly this time :)
Link: https://pastebin.com/99AL3qah
Its only one class in hope I got it right so I can continue with the others9 -
Listened my PO talking with client and she explained why we did it the way we did (so the app user flow has more sense) ending the sentence with "... so if you look it that way, this is not a bug, it is a feature!"
-
!rant
Recently got selected for Facebook's Open Mentorship Program.
Super pumped about it!
Does anyone here have experience with it? How did it go? What did you work on?
It doesn't start till April, and I cannot wait. Just trying to get some taste of what's in the box!1 -
Just startet game developing (unity) on the side ! A time sink, but holy cow is it fun ! Any game devs out there?
How long did it take to master and how did you get startet ? -
Did you guys' stubborness get you anywhere? Did it ever help you along the way? Did you ever discover new things because you wanted to do things your own way?
Let's discuss 🍵☕6 -
Did any body ever applied to a job at SO jobs? The conditions looks really good but it looks like they are only for senior dev or sharp profile on some extinct technologie.. did it ever work for any of you guys?5
-
I'm watching a video about http3. Did someone use http2 already? I know browsers support it but that's it. Did I live under a rock?19
-
Anyone who's ever launched an app, how did you do it? Did you just release it on the app store and that was that, or did you go though and trial it with people and try to get investors and all that jazz? People who have done either how did it go? 😀3
-
don't remember what the fuck i did and why i did it rereading a ticket and the pull requests from 6 months ago
on a tech stack i am still unfamiliar with
fml2 -
if (in_array($needle, $haystack)){
return true;
}else{
return false;
}
# yeah, I did it.... wtf brain!!1 -
Starting to work on a project as a trainee.
Trying to deploy the project on Eclipse.
404 Error when using my browser, while it did work some weeks ago, when I launch it to try.
"Hey, clean the project, and the Tomcat directory, and it will magically work."
It did work.
/shrug -
Tonight I learned that none of our automatically installed systemd-based servers had the /etc/machine-id created, and that that file used to be pretty central in the systemd world.
So that was the warning at the beginning of the boot log about a missing /etc/machine-id! Though until today, everything still worked fine. Only today, the machinectl utility was unable to find the local machine with the machine id missing.
Oops? At least I'll have stuff to fix tomorrow lol.6 -
There's no good way to describe the feeling of fixing a bug but having no idea how you did it. You stash, hard reset, toy around, fix it again... and still don't know what you did, but decide, "Eh. Whatever I guess."
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I simplified 7 functions down to a blob because it was truly unreadable and fragmented. As I did it, I thought there was no way I did it right. This can't be the logic. Nope. It is.
Yeah, the formatting could be better. End of the shift so that's a tomorrow thing.
10 -
had a blast helping a pal install arch (and setting up the necessities, like i3-gaps, neofetch, wal, etc...). tonight was awesome.
PS: i can recite any basic arch install by memory now, EFI or BIOS, and i'm slightly better at navigating vim now5 -
My brain as stopped, I know I have done this in the past but I have 100% forgotten how I did it, I am creating a website where when I am singed in/connect to it, it enables more content, the content would be only hosted via my computer, when I did it in the past I did it behind a none upnp router but I have no idea who I did it, I am sure I did use a tool but I forget what.
Now I have no idea how to word it so unable search for something like it, why dose my brain do this two me.
Anyone know how to file deleted and forgotten files in brain OS 0.1.
Record, document and back up your ideas guys lol you might need it in the future. -
Learning to use logging in Python for an existing application.
🙇Feeling enlightened looking at the first log file output.3 -
Asked Siri to "call my wife" but did it in an accent that obviously made it sound like "call _me_ wife".1
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this weekend has been kind to me. rediscovering python i happily achived the creation of two very useful automation tools for the company. now i am curious if it even will be used given the fact that it runs in the shell without a fancy ui.2
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When your business network monitoring tool is so ugly that it's disgusting to say it was a person who did it.
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Work prank i want to pull of....
We kind of did all of it🤗😂
Wanted to put a bull horn under my co workers table. We did actually do it and made a video of it.
Have never stopped crying from laughs🤗
If you can’t have fun then why bother!?!?1 -
Has anyone taken a gap for 6 months or more? Where are you from? What age did you take it? Why did you take it? How did it go? How difficult was it to find a job after?
I am 25 from India. Due to stress and neglect, my health has been constantly deteriorating and at this point I am really running out of options. Any advice is appreciated. Thanks.6 -
gradle
I barely remember what I did or why I did
but if you need to comment it in, does that mean I don't understand enough, or gradle sucks , both or somethign else -
From the people here who already got free swag and live outside the US, how did you formatted your address and how long did it took you to get a response?1
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He did the mash, he did the developer mash
The developer mash, it was a segmentation fault crash.
He did the mash, it caught on in a pull request.
He did the mash, he did the developer mash -
Built my first singleton today. Dunno if I need it, should've used it, or if I even did it right, but I think I did.
In all seriousness I made a singleton and have no idea what I'm doing. It works and I think I understand it but it is in WordPress so no one ever knows. -
new Google Pixels owners — do you like them? I mean those that have Google's Tensor SoC. Also, did you try Graphene OS? Did you like it?3
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Do we have people here who have a successful IT company?
If yes, I would like to hear your stories.
How you came up with it?
How was the beginning?
What were the struggles and how did you fix them?
How did you get your first client?
How long did it take you?5
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