Don't we all love a sophisticated chat bot?

Found this in our codebase, apparently one of my co-workers had written this

True story.

Girl: we need to talk

Me: OK

Girl: you seem to have more time for your computer than me. I want to know how important I am to you.

Me: You are the number 1 in my life.

Girl: *smiles and hugs me*

Me: (thinking)...Just that I start counting from 0

This is way too true!

"So, why do you want to work at our office in mexico?"
"I want to be a señor developer."

Every time I type "pubic" instead of "public"

General advice: If you're the smartest person in the room, you're in the wrong room.

Just learned new skills...

Can't wait for this to happen

There is no pain like having to talk a parent through how to commit and push your work because you forgot to when you left home....

Love working with atom using this theme in coffeeshops, making people think I'm a top hacker, when in reality I'm just stuck with css classes or something. Equally stupid.

Developer: We have a problem.
Manager: Remember, there are no such things as problems, only opportunities.
Developer: Well then, we have a DDoS opportunity.

Honestly? People. For the first two years of my career I worked for an investment bank.. Basically working to make rich people richer. That, plus the technology sucked, made me change what I do.

I now work for a company that, while it doesn't cure cancer, it makes products that my friends use, my family uses, even my 1 year old son uses. And knowing I am making a difference in their life in even just a little way is worth it.

Also now that I have a family and a kid, my priorities have shifted and as much as I love coding, my family and kid will always come first now. Could I be making more at an investment bank where I worked 12 hour shifts every day? Sure. But it's not worth it to me.

My dad said to me once: "Son, when you're older... you can become anything you want. The sky is the limit!"

So my response: "Really dad? Wow!! I want to become an astronaut!!"

My dad: "God damnit son... why don't you ever listen?! I said the SKY is the limit!!"

So now I am a very down to earth programmer.

got my first part-time job!! yayy🤗

This might sound cliché, but my dad. I called him Pop. He was a COBOL programmer, and he taught me the fundamentals. He would bring home his work and debug on paper, and I was his rubber duck.

When I got older, we were each other's rubber duck. Whenever I was stuck, he'd throw a suggestion out that might have seemed off base at first, but was somehow related to what I was working on.

I put an Easter egg into a product, that if you enter the string "final countdown" into the stock code search field, it plays a YouTube vid of Europe's "The Final Countdown", in a hidden div. It's an in-joke for a few people in the company.

A well meaning maintainer with no sense of humour or judgement takes over and goes on the warpath against any hardcoded strings. The secret code gets moved into a config file.

A third developer changes the deployment script so that it clears any configs that aren't explicitly set in the deployment settings.

So the secret code is now "".

Literally every PC in the stock buying department is now blaring out "The Final Countdown" at top volume.

...Except none of them have speakers, so it remains this way for over a year and two more changes of maintainer.

I just noticed this afternoon and quietly re-hardcoded the string. The buying dept.'s PCs will silently sing no more.

Devs don't beat around the bush

My favorite xkcd

Me: I need a Windows PC to test my code on.
Server dude: We don't have any free, but I can setup an old server for you.
Me: 🤔 .. I'll take it!

This would be funny if it wasn't supposed to show the amount on my bank account.

That pain

I think this should happen when people get over 9000++

When you fuck up your repo so bad it transforms into guitar hero

Found in the source code of a site. Interesting.

hahaha 😁

I made a ridicously hilarious hack recently. My refrigerator it's broken, it has a huge leak of water, my hack was to let the water flow in a plastic box and make a circuit with two water level sensors, a relay and a PIC16F628A to activate a pump that sucks water away through a tube that I wedged intlside the gasket of the washbasin. This gave me the time to buy a newer and better one.

My girlfriend got bitten by a mosquito and kept scratching it.
After I complained about the size of the bite, she said "c'mon it's just a bit, not big enough to be a byte".
When I finished facepalming (it took a while), I realized how proud I am of her.

Fixing interface with "temporary" solution
PS: please hide it from electricians (even hobbyist). It can scary them to death.