I have lot of jokes about unemployed people, but none of them work.

Going back to Java after being writing code in Kotlin for a while feels like going back with your crazy, over reacting ex.

When they ask about the dress code

p.s: found it on the internet, don't if it is a repost here.

Maths : 1
Google : 0

-Some run marathons, I run Python
-Some have energy drinks, I have Java
-Some fight in MMA, I fight with CSS
-Some see new places, I C new Places();
-Some are quick, I am Swift
-Some go camping, I Go Compiling
-Some can judge objectively, I can judge Objective-c
-Some climb mountains, I Scala Structures
-Some live adventurous lives, I live a BASIC one
-Some go ball, I COBOL
-Some watercolor, I Pascal
-Some look for diamonds and emeralds, I look for Ruby and Perl
-Some write novels, I TypeScript
-Some banter, I SmallTalk

A few days ago I reached my two years anniversary of being on devRant.

It's been an awesome ride, thanks everybody and also the creators of this awesome place 😃

Lately I needed to write some swift code and I‘ve never used it before. But acutually I find such a beautiful langange, maybe the one with the best type system ever.

Swift for the win!

Apple, make your mind up.

It feels stupid to see a simple google dork returning the list of your mistakes.

Just attended my first conference and it was awesome! So many new ideas, but also tired and overloaded. Can't decide if I should code tonight, go to bed early, or just do something mindless.

My worst collab/group project experience definitely has to be my final semester project during my undergrad.

We were a team of 4 including myself and would meet every day to work and every day:

1. My teammates would show up late
2. One of my teammates’ girlfriend lived in my apartment and shed just show up every day and waste our time and make him never contribute (He LITERALLY never did any work and got by with no effort)
3. The other 2 on the team didn’t know anything and never made efforts to learn

I literally did the entire project on my own (Code the full project, make presentations for all the reviews, and teach the other 3 every step of the way).

TLDR: I topped my batch and got 199/200 whereas everyone else were 190 or below, and I went on to publish that project in a Science Journal (Again, with no efforts from the team)

PHP in 2030 :D

! rant
Finally got a macbook..I was SO sick of stupid windows!!

Does this provoke anyone?

Holy S**t, we are?

Joke / Meme: PHP

Sublime Text, when I finally mistakenly click the purchase button

The best part of having lazy collaborators is that you never encounter merge conflicts.

Me: hey look, the time is gone!
Collegue:........?
Me:...... you don't see it? 😅😆
Collegue: no......?
Me: 4:04 🤣
Collegue: *gives death stare*
Me: 😞☹️

1. Buy boxes of orange juice, almost past their expiry date.
2. Put boxes on the hot office windowsill for a few weeks.
3. Cool down juice in fridge.
4. "Hey dear coworker, would you like a refreshing juice box on this hot spring day?"
5. Watch coworker retch and vomit, spitting blue-grayish juice over his desk, crying: "Why would you give me old moldy juice without checking the date?"
6. "Do you remember when you told me you didn't have time for unit tests? THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS, DAVE, THIS IS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENS WHEN YOU DEPLOY UNTESTED CODE.... NOW FINISH YOUR JUICE!"

If Gordon Ramsay made code reviews, I would watch that show. Especially the insults he would use for handling clients.

"This code has so much spaghetti, it decided to open it's own restaurant"

Your chatbot...
Credits: Alessandro

This is not mine, but I found it funny so wanted to share !

Don't you have a colleague in office, you want to shout "SHUT UP",
even though they aren't speaking.

My laptop... when I am searching for best laptops

This is not a rant but this is great

I GOT THAT JOB OFFER YES! AT LEAST I WON'T SEARCH FOR JOB AFTER OUR GRADUATION. I LIKE THIS FEELING YES!!!

In Europe, we use € instead of $ in jQuery.

Happy PI-day!

Me: I’ve been in the web since 2006, of course i know html,css,javascript.
Also me: Google how to center a div.

I don't really know where to start here. But hello world!