Yea, this happend

What do you prefer to listen to when you code?

customer who didn't paid for 3 months: why is our server down?

me: server?. what server?.

"enter Phone number"
"numbers not allowed"

Finally I have something to rant about.

My father just called me while i'm at work:
"You go a big fancy letter writting in english from outside the country (english is not my native or even my second language) , what is it ? .. "
I realised after that it's the devrant stickers 😂
Can't wait to go home and open it 😁

my neighbour's life..

birth
hey please fix my laptop
death

Food for thought.

PDFs saves more trees than any NGOs 😂

Can you please help me come up with a company name. The company would make PC/Mac/Linux games and android games. I've been trying to come up with a good name for a few months and they are either bad or already used somewhere.

Dear Microsoft

Please do not fuck up GitHub.

Yours sincerely
All developers

*Admin leaves his computer unlocked*

1. Takes a desktop screenshot and flips it and sets it as background.
2. Disables right click.
3. Hides taskbar.
4. Flips the screen.
5. Connects keyboard to another computer close by with screen off.
6. Has the time of the week.

*Hopefully, there is no revenge 😁*

Saw some ants coming out of my laptop.
Now I literally have bugs in my laptop xD

Client:
This has to be done with in 160 hours.
Me:
Seems doable

After maybe 100 hours of developing:
Client:
This is great and all but we decided to change the specs little (a lot) surely you can code this whole thing again in the rest of the time.

Come to the dark side, we don't have WordPress.

so my mom wanted to write some word document, but she didn't use her laptop for like ~5 years, it didn't boot up so she asked me to fix, now here is what I found :
>the laptop had a 240 gb hdd
>the hdd was literally broken
>bought her a new 500 gb hdd
>installed windows 7
>took 10 mins to install
>took 19 minutes to boot up
>removed windows 7
>installed win xp
>took 30 mins to install
>took 3 minutes to boot up
>opened windows
>checked pc specs
>see picture below
>[insert wtf gif here]
>installed drivers
>took 20 minutes to install drivers
>[insert epic music here]
>tried installing office 2016
>insta regret
>tried installing office 2010
>memory farted and I couldn't even move the cursor
>installed office 2007
>mom started writing document peacefully
>after 2 hours bsod
>mom asks me to fix
>opens laptop to check internal components
>the cpu had a black hole inside
>the fans weren't working due to the circuit being burnt for some reason
>kills laptop
>kills mom
>kills self
>live peacefully in hell

Right ? !

What if Microsoft only bought GitHub so they can finally add support for Internet Explorer? 🤔😏

Zzz too sleepy to solve this now

Dad: why do these forms ask me to fill those random characters(captcha)

Me: to verify that you are human

Dad: as if animals can use computers

Me: 😅

😩 That moment when you finish a project (part), close browser tabs close tons of terminal windows, quit a giant ide.. and you realize that you forgot a thing.. 😩

As devs we like to complain about our jobs. But I just want to take a moment and acknowledge how truly amazing writing software is. Nothing else has given me so much joy and happiness. The endless stream of new things to learn, the elusive art of clean code, and deep understanding of systems required for architecture. There is so much depth to this career we have all chosen and I hope you guys love it just as much as I do.

I officially declare the "Arrays start a {someIndex}" joke a hate crime. At some point you fuckers have to start following the DRY principles when it comes to telling jokes.

So... A random morning moment:
(c - Cient, m - me)

C: Help!!! Our users are complaining that our website is not working as intended!!! This is crucial!!!!
M: What's the problem? What is not working?
C: EVERYTHING!!!! FIX IT!!!!
M: Could you be more specific...?
C: Look at the bugsnag - it has all the errrors!!!
M: *looks there - no errors* - But... It has no errors...
C: Okay, so client told me he's using Galaxy SII - does that ring a bell?
M: *thinks that I'm fucked* - Asks, which browser?
C: Why do you need it? It's a browser after all...
M: Yeah but not all browsers are the same and I need type and version to investigate...
C: It's Samsung default browser... Last updated 2012 January.
M: Well, tell that user to update the browser, the site is working fine on newer versions...
C: No, you update it.
M: Browser?!
C: Yes, what else?!
M: Of course, I'll fly 3000 kilometres to press UPDATE button on clients phone...
C: Well, he's not doing it himself - he's afraid!
M: Well, that is his problem. Site is working fine for other users with newer browsers.
C: But... He's a client
M: I get it but he's a client that uses 6 years old browser and tries to visit our website. Don't you remember that we ditched IE support on your behalf for the same reason?!
C: Oh... I see... Can you make something that it works with 2005 browsers?
M: Of course... *evil laugh starts* I'll make the website work on EVERY single device EVER - make it plain text.
C: Are you joking?
M: Are you?

----

And since then, we ditched the actual need for supporting users with old browsers that don't update to modern standards... Feels great!

Just got this email with no body, and a vague subject / title in all caps.

... you ask questions on stackoverflow don't you

That's how you do a cookie notice.

Thank you heroku for letting me fuck around for free without my credit card info.

That's exactly how I started, am I a Machine!? ... learning Machine Learning

I thought i'd see what the avatars look like with different color eyes.
I personally like red. It really brings out the undying hatred I have for my peers.

Someone on my Facebook was boasting that he now has 1Gb internet speed.

Turns out he bought a 1Gbit ethernet card for his PC and thought that alone would raise his broadband speed..

I'm bored. Let's download a game to play to kill my time everytime i'm bored.

*Downloads game of 4GB*

Plays 5 mins.
Deletes the game.

I'm writing a special (fictional) story and I'll post it next as soon as it's done (in an hour or so). I've written articles before, but this will be my first ever try at a (very short) fictional story 😅
Any feedback is welcome.
Stay tuned.
😊

PS
Have you ever written fiction?