Manager: We are hiring a new graphic designer today. Can you get him settled in, please?
Me: Sure, I can do that.
Me: *shakes hand of new recruit.*
Me: I've heard great things about you.
Him: *starts going off on all his experience*
Me: that's great. Let's see what you got.

Several hours later...

Me: can I see what you got?
Him: just putting the last finishing touches on this logo.
Me: is that MSPaint!?
Him: yeah! It's good right?
Me: um...

Nowadays......¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Everything is going as planned

Her: What are you doing over there?
Me: I'm working on cryptographic hash functions
Her: is that really homework?
Me: yes, come look with your two eyes.
Her: ...
Me: crazy stuff, no?
Her: I imagine computer science is really just a lot of boxes and arrows.
Me: *flashback to UML, ERD diagrams, and logic diagrams*
Me: you are not wrong.

Well, you wanted to chat...

1. The quality of the coffee and toilet paper you encounter during an interview tells you more than promises about table tennis or fruit baskets.

2. Try to determine who their primary client is: subscribers, app buyers, advertisers, etc. It's a major influence on the company dynamic.

3. Before an interview, you can just say: "I would like to sit down with a PO and run through one backlog feature and one bug, to get a feel for the type of tasks at the company". Such an activity immediately reveals team structure, whether they have product owners & scrum masters, what a sprint looks like, how they prioritize tasks, and how organized/chaotic your work experience will be.

Finally

It better be filled

Every Project Manager/Boss Ever!

YouTube comments, the serious ones.

The one thing I've learned most about developers is that developers like their lasagna more than their spaghetti.

Found on 2019's Stack Overflow Annual Developer Survey

Fuck you

Yes, I hardly remember the name of important people in tech industry. sorre

Colleague (lets call him john) does this sometimes at the moments you least expect it, funny as hell:

random colleague: *walks towards john* hey john, do you have a second?
John: *face turns dead serious/scared* h-h-how do you know my name? 😶
Colleague: hahaha, nice try, I've got this server issu...
John: Who are you? Get away from me 😶
*everyone laughing*
*johns face turns normal again*
John: what's up mate? *biggest goddamn smile ever*

Holiday was gud 🤩 Now some rest and work tomorrow 😴 If anyone wants some good steaks for dinner, I could put my calves up on ebay for a nice price 🤣

😁😁😁

I’m so sorry! No, I do NOT have 9 years experience using this framework that has only been out for 5 years 🙃

!Tech
How do i explain my friends that if a bottle of whiskey contains 40% alcohol and when i pour some in a glass. The glass will also have 40% alcohol.

Windows 10, coming to a train station near you.

If first compiler was compiled by humans, now compilers are compiled using compilers. Then the first chicken didn't come from egg, but something superior. Nowadays we just see eggs turning into chicken, but the origins of chickens isn't related to eggs at all.
#Computer engineering

Stepping up my security game!
This just showed up today!

"Arch Linux is actually not that difficult".

I ssh'ed into my home server yesterday.

I was greeted by a message from an ext3 disk about needing fsck. Fine, "I haven't been in here for a while, might as well do some maintenance". fsck /dev/sda6, let's go!

This nicely "repaired" the sshd service (i.e. cleared the sectors), I cursed at myself for pressing enter at "repair (y)" right before the connection broke.

So I connected a display and keyboard... ok so let's just pacman -Sy sshd or whatever. We can do this! Just check the wiki, shouldn't be that hard!

Wait... pacman has not run since 2010? WAIT IT'S ACTUAL UPTIME IS 9 YEARS??? I guess we know why I'm a DB admin and not devops...

Hmm all the mirrors give timeouts? Oh. The i686 processor architecture isn't even supported anymore...?

4 hours, 11 glasses of cognac, 73 Arch32 wiki/forum pages, 2 attempts at compiling glibc, and 4 kernel panics later: "I think I'll buy a new server".

Today I read a lot 😂🙄

Coworker's whiteboard today

Seems about right

Here it is, markdown supports, I've read a couple of rants requesting it and decided give it a try, more syntax will be supported later

https://github.com/devTeaa/...

I laughed hard..😂

alexa in action

HR: Sorry, we're a family here but we have to let you go.

Engineer: Okay.

The End.
----

*DELETE FROM employees WHERE 1=1;*