Due to Coronavirus (COVID19) all TCP applications are being converted to UDP to avoid handshake.

Customer support story time: (swearing in Dutch because it sounds more fun but it's general swearing so no translation needed I think (will translate the non obvious parts)

Me: good morning, how can I help you?
Client: hello, I have a question for you.
Me: go ahead!
Client: alright so.... one sec, let me turn off my music.
Client: hey Google
.
.
.
Client: hey Google
.
Client: Heeeey Gooooooogle
.
Client: HEY GOOGLE, GODVERREDOMME
.
Me: 😆
.
Client: REAGEER GODVERDOMME. "HEY GOOOOGLE"
.
.
Client: VIES VUIL TYFUS DING, LUISTEREN. HEEEEEY GOOOOOOGLE
.
.
Client: JA GODVERREROMME, LUISTER GEWOON, FUCKING KUT DING. *SHOUTS WITH ANGRY VOICE* "HEY GOOGLE HALLOOOO LUISTEEEEEREEEEEN" (oh for fucks sake, LISTEN fucking piece of shit)
Me: *desperately trying to keep it together*
Client: IK DOE HET ZELF WEL JEZUS GODDOMME *FOOTSTEPS, MUSIC STOPS* (Translation: I'll do it myself, fucking hell)
.
.
.
Client: finally, sorry for that 😅
Me: *still trying to control myself* no problem!

Where is the LAN cable and why the hell does my chair not...

Oh.

Fuck fucking timezones!

Most people.
"Dance like no one is looking"

Me.
"Sudo like you have backups"

"Can you give me an estimate on how long it will take you to fix this bug?"

"That's like asking how long it will take to find my keys."

Just told my dad that python 3.6 launched yesterday, he asked me if i wanted it for christmas 😅

*Client calles me at 7Am*

Client: why did you make everything smaller on my website ?

Me: look at the right side of your URL bar, do you see a minus sign ?

Client: yah, so ?

Me: click on it and set it back to default.

Client: oh ok this is working for me now, will this fix apply globally across the internet

Me: ...

Client: oh I think I asked a stupid question, thanks mate have a good day.

Me: you're welcome...

have
have you
have you heard
have you heard the
have you heard the one
have you heard the one about
have you heard the one about traceroute

Why software aren't free!

Credit : 9gag

Laughed so hard, that I had to defenitely post it on devRant.

"Please disable AdBlock to view the content."

No. I'll just leave. Bye.

- Sir, you must put away your laptop before the flight takes off.
- Is a tablet okay?
- Yes
- *Uncouples keyboard from Surface*
- ಠ_ಠ
- (⌐■_■)

Windows. 😂😂

If you ever feel useless remember, Samsung has it's own App store

You know who exactly you are...

"So, why do you want to work at our office in mexico?"
"I want to be a señor developer."

Apparantly, wanting to use company assets for a smoke machine so when clients visit you can say "Welcome to the cloud!" is immature.

Developer: We have a problem.
Manager: Remember, there are no such things as problems, only opportunities.
Developer: Well then, we have a DDoS opportunity.

Just learned new skills...

The night is dark and full of errors.

When I accidentally exit f.lux and the whole screen becomes white

Critical issue

Priceless 😂😂😂

!rant

I just figured out you can double tap rants to give them a ++.

Well, I just wasted a lot of time being stupid.

First time poster here. Please be nice :)

My biggest workaround is one that's being currently deployed to 40 truck drivers (trucking company here), preventing printers being out of usage while on the road. We also have to use HP ePrint to wirelessly print documents, but that's another story for another time I guess :)

CEO asked us to install wifi printers in our 40-ish trucks which has wifi on board. However he's always picking one of the cheapest options possible, so we got consumer grade printers (Laserjet 1002w). Those printers often disconnects without getting back on the truck wifi network EVER. I have to get physically in the truck, wire the printer via USB onto my laptop and reconfigure Wifi on it with the HP Windows tool. This means lots of printer downtime, which always happens when the drivers are three timezones away from our office

Then I thought: "What if I could sniff what HP sends via USB while I (re)configure the printer, and replay whats being sent later? Our trucks all have an Android tablet with a USB type-A connector with host capability, so I could write a small app that replays the config when plugged in by the user.

Three days of hacking around later, I have a working app. By chance, HP printers (or at least those models we have) uses HTTP POST via USB, so I could easily replay the request.

Edit: the end result is that truck drivers just plug the printer to their tablet, press "reconfigure" in a home made Android app, printer is reconnected to the truck and they're good to go. They don't have access to the network nor know enough to debug themselves anyways

my eyes hurts so much

I thought I was a hardcore geek until I came on here.

Super chill enviroment tho

Programmers are some of the nicest people you will meet.

Except the 12 year old hackers.

A flow chart to live by